the governess-第4部分

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nking；　we　made　it　so　much　a　rule　to　obey　our　parent；　the　moment　she　signified　her　pleasure；　that　by　that　means　we　avoided　many　accidents　and　misfortunes；　for　example：　　my　brother　was　running　one　day　giddily　round　the　brink　of　a　well；　and　if　he　had　made　the　least　false　step；　he　must　have　fallen　to　the　bottom；　and　been　drowned；　my　mamma；　by　a　sign　with　her　finger　that　called　him　to　her；　preserved　him　from　the　imminent　danger　he　was　in　of　losing　his　life；　and　then　she　took　care　that　we　should　both　be　the　better　for　this　little　incident；　by　laying　before　us　how　much　our　safety　and　happiness；　as　well　as　our　duty；　were　concerned　in　being　obedient。

'My　brother　and　I　once　had　a　quarrel　about　something　as　trifling　as　your　apple　of　contention；　and；　though　we　both　heartily　wished　to　be　reconciled　to　each　other；　yet　did　our　little　hearts　swell　so　much　with　stubbornness　and　pride；　that　neither　of　us　would　speak　first；　by　which　means　we　were　so　silly　as　to　be　both　uneasy；　and　yet　would　not　use　the　remedy　that　was　in　our　own　power　to　remove　that　uneasiness。　　My　mamma　found　it　out；　and　sent　for　me　into　her　closet；　and　said；　〃She　was　sorry　to　see　her　instructions　had　no　better　effect　on　me；　for；〃　continued　she；　〃indeed；　Jenny；　I　am　ashamed　of　your　folly；　as　well　as　wickedness；　in　thus　contending　with　your　brother〃　　A　tear；　which　I　believe　flowed　from　shame；　started　from　my　eyes　at　this　reproof；　and　I　fixed　them　on　the　ground；　being　too　much　overwhelmed　with　confusion　to　dare　to　lift　them　up　on　mamma。　　On　which　she　kindly　said；　〃She　hoped　my　confusion　was　a　sign　of　my　amendment。　　That　she　might　indeed　have　used　another　method；　by　commanding　me　to　seek　a　reconciliation　with　my　brother；　for　she　did　not　imagine　I　was　already　so　far　gone　in　perverseness；　as　not　to　hold　her　commands　as　inviolable；　but　she　was　willing；　for　my　good；　first　to　convince　me　of　my　folly。〃　　As　soon　as　my　confusion　would　give　me　leave　to　speak；　on　my　knees　I　gave　her　a　thousand　thanks　for　her　goodness；　and　went　immediately　to　seek　my　brother。　　He　joyfully　embraced　the　first　opportunity　of　being　reconciled　to　me；　and　this　was　one　of　the　pleasantest　hours　of　my　life。　　This　quarrel　happened　when　my　brother　came　home　at　a　breaking…up；　and　I　was　nine　years　old。

'My　mamma's　principal　care　was　to　keep　up　a　perfect　amity　between　me　and　my　brother。　　I　remember　once；　when　Harry　and　I　were　playing　in　the　fields；　there　was　a　small　rivulet　stopped　me　in　my　way。　　My　brother；　being　nimbler　and　better　able　to　jump　than　myself；　with　one　spring　leaped　over；　and　left　me　on　the　other　side　of　it；　but　seeing　me　uneasy　that　I　could　not　get　over　to　him；　his　good　nature　prompted　him　to　come　back　and　to　assist　me；　and；　by　the　help　of　his　hand；　I　easily　passed　over。　　On　this　my　good　mamma　bid　me　remember　how　much　my　brother's　superior　strength　might　assist　me　in　his　being　my　protector；　and　that　I　ought　to　return　to　use　my　utmost　endeavours　to　oblige　him；　and　that　then　we　should　be　mutual　assistants　to　each　other　throughout　life。　　Thus　everything　that　passed　was　made　use　of　to　improve　my　understanding　and　amend　my　heart。

'I　believe　no　child　ever　spent　her　time　more　agreeably　than　I　did；　for　I　not　only　enjoyed　my　own　pleasures；　but　also　those　of　others。　　And　when　my　brother　was　carried　abroad；　and　I　was　left　at　home；　that　HE　was　pleased；　made　me　full　amends　for　the　loss　of　any　diversion。　　the　contentions　between　us　（where　our　parent's　commands　did　not　interfere）　were　always　exerted　in　endeavours　each　to　prefer　the　other's　pleasures　to　our　own。　　My　mind　was　easy　and　free　from　anxiety；　for　as　I　always　took　care　to　speak　truth；　I　had　nothing　to　conceal　from　my　mamma；　and　consequently　had　never　any　fears　of　being　found　in　a　lie。　　For　one　lie　obliges　us　to　tell　a　thousand　others　to　conceal　it；　and　I　have　no　notion　of　any　conditions　being　so　miserable；　as　to　live　in　a　continual　fear　of　detection。　　Most　particularly；　my　mamma　instructed　me　to　beware　of　all　sorts　of　deceit；　so　that　I　was　accustomed；　not　only　in　words　to　speak　truth；　but　also　not　to　endeavour　by　any　means　to　deceive。

'But　though　the　friendship　between　my　brother　and　me　was　so　strongly　cultivated；　yet　we　were　taught；　that　lying　for　each　other；　or　praising　each　other　when　it　was　not　deserved；　was　not　only　a　fault；　but　a　very　great　crime；　for　this；　my　mamma　used　to　tell　us；　was　not　love；　but　hatred；　as　it　was　encouraging　one　another　in　folly　and　wickedness。　　And　though　my　natural　disposition　inclined　me　to　be　very　tender　of　everything　in　my　power；　yet　was　I　not　suffered　to　give　way　even　to　THIS　in　an　unreasonable　degree。　　One　instance　of　which　I　remember。

'When　I　was　about　eleven　years　old；　I　had　a　cat　that　I　had　bred　up　from　a　little　kitten；　that　used　to　play　round　me；　till　I　had　indulged　for　the　poor　animal　a　fondness　that　made　me　delight　to　have　it　continually　with　me　wherever　I　went；　and；　in　return　for　my　indulgence；　the　cat　seemed　to　have　changed　its　nature；　and　assumed　the　manner　that　more　properly　belongs　to　dogs　than　cats；　for　it　would　follow　me　about　the　house　and　gardens；　mourn　for　my　absence；　and　rejoice　at　my　presence。　　And；　what　was　very　remarkable；　the　poor　animal　would；　when　fed　by　my　hand；　lose　that　caution　which　cats　are　known　to　be　possessed　of；　and　eat　whatever　I　gave　it；　as　if　it　could　reflect　that　I　meant　only　its　good；　and　no　harm　could　come　from　me。

'I　was　at　last　so　accustomed　to　see　this　little　Frisk　（for　so　I　called　it）　playing　round　me；　that　I　seemed　to　miss　part　of　myself　in　its　absence。　　But　one　day　the　poor　little　creature　followed　me　to　the　door；　when　a　parcel　of　schoolboys　coming　by；　one　of　them　catched　her　up　in　his　arms；　and　ran　away　with　her。　　All　my　cries　were　to　no　purpose；　for　he　was　out　of　sight　with　her　in　a　moment；　and　there　was　no　method　to　trace　his　steps。　　The　cruel　wretches；　for　sport；　as　they　called　it；　hunted　it　the　next　day　from　one　to　the　other；　in　the　most　barbarous　manner；　till　at　last　it　took　shelter　in　that　house　that　used　to　be　its　protection；　and　came　and　expired　at　my　feet。

'I　was　so　struck　with　the　sight　of　the　little　animal　dying　in　that　manner；　that　the　great　grief　of　my　heart　overflowed　at　my　eyes；　and　I　was　for　some　time　inconsolable。

'My　indulgent　mamma　comforted　without　blaming　me；　till　she　thought　I　had　sufficient　time　to　vent　my　grief；　and　then；　sending　for　me　into　her　chamber；　spoke　as　follows：

'〃Jenny；　I　have　watched　you　ever　since　the　death　of　your　little　favourite　cat；　and　have　been　in　hopes　daily；　that　your　lamenting　and　melancholy　on　that　account　would　be　at　an　end。　　But　I　find　you　still　persist　in　grieving；　as　if　such　a　loss　was　irreparable。　　Now；　though　I　have　always　encouraged　you　in　all　sentiments　of　good　nature　and　compassion；　and　am　sensible；　that　where　those　sentiments　are　strongly　implanted；　they　will　extend　their　influence　even　to　the　least　animal；　yet　you　are　to　consider；　my　child；　that　you　are　not　to　give　way　to　any　passions　that　interfere　with　your　duty；　for　whenever　there　is　any　contention　between　your　duty　and　your　inclinations；　you　must　conquer　the　latter；　or　become　wicked　and　contemptible。　　If；　therefore；　you　give　way　to　this　melancholy；　how　will　you　be　able　to　perform　your　duty　towards　me；　in　cheerfully　obeying　my　commands；and　endeavouring；　by　your　lively　prattle　and　innocent　gaiety　of　heart；　to　be　my　companion　and　delight？　　Nor　will　you　be　fit　to　converse　with　your　brother；　whom　（as　you　lost　your　good　papa　when　you　were　too　young　to　know　that　loss）　I　have　endeavoured　to　educate　in　such　a　manner；　that　I　hope　he　will　be　a　father　to　you；　if　you　deserve　his　love　and　protection。　　In　short；　if　you　do　not　keep　command　enough　of　yourself　to　prevent　being　ruffled　by　every　accident；　you　will　be　unfit　for　all　the　social　offices　of　life；　and　be　despised　by　all　those　whose　regard　and　love　are　worth　your　seeking。　　I　treat　you；　my　girl；　as　capable　of　considering　what　is　for　your　own　good；　for　though　you　are　but　eleven　years　of　age；　yet　I　hope　the　pains　I　have　taken　in　explaining　all　you　read；　and　in　answering　all　your　questions　in　search　of　knowledge；　has　not　been　so　much　thrown　away；　but　that　you　are　more　capable　of　judging；　than　those　unhappy　children　are；　whose　parents　have　neglected　to　instruct　them。　　And　therefore；　farther　to　enforce　what　I　say；　remember；　that　repining　at　any　accident　that　happens　to　you；　is　an　offence　to　that　God　to　whom　I　have　taught　you　daily　to　pray　for　all　the　blessings　you　can　receive；　and　to　whom　you　are　to　return　humble　thanks　for　every　blessing。

'〃I　expect　therefore；　Jenny；　that　you　now　dry　up　your　tears；　and　resume　your　usual　cheerfulness。　　I　do　not　doubt　but　your　obedience　to　me　will　make　you　at　least　put　on　the　appearance　of　cheerfulness　in　my　sight。　　But　you　will　deceive　yourself；　if　you　think　that　is　performing　your　duty；　for　if　you　would　obey　me　as　you　ought；　you　must　try　heartily　to　root　from　your　mind　all　sorrow　and　gloominess。　　You　may　depend　upon　it；　this　command　is　in　your　power　to　obey；　for　you　know　I　never　require　anything　of　you　that　is　impossible。〃

'After　my　mamma　had　made　this　speech；　she　went　out　to　take　a　walk　in　the　garden；　and　left　me　to　consider　of　what　she　had　said。

'The　moment　I　came　to　reflect　seriously；　I　found　it　was　indeed　in　my　power　to　root　all　melancholy　from　my　heart；　when　I　considered　it　was　necessary；　in　order　to　perform　my　duty　to　God；　to　obey　the　best　of　mothers；　and　to　make　myself　a　blessing　and　a　cheerful　companion　to　her；　rather　than　a　burden；　and　the　cause　of　her　uneasiness；　by　my　foolish　melancholy。

'This　little　accident；　as　managed　by　my　mamma；　has　been　a　lesson　to　me　in　governing　my　passions　ever　since。

'It　would　be　endless　to　repeat　all　the　methods　this　good　mother　invented　for　my　instruction；　amendment；　and　improvement。　　It　is　sufficient　to　acquaint　you；　that　she　contrived　that　every　new　day　should　open　to　me　some　new　scene　of　knowledge；　and　no　girl　could　be　happier　than　I　was　during　her　life。　　But；　alas！　when　I　was　thirteen　years　of　age；　the　scene　changed。　　My　dear　mamma　was　taken　ill　of　a　scarlet　fever。　　I　attended　her　day　and　night　whilst　she　lay　ill；　my　eyes　starting　with　tears　to　see　her　in　that　condition；　and　yet　I　did　not　dare　to　give　my　sorrows　vent；　for　fear　of　increasing　her　pain。'

Here　a　trickling　tear　stole　from　Miss　Jenny's　eyes。　　She　suppressed　some　rising　sob