mudfog+-第6部分

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pitch。　　I　fear；　unless　some　very　extraordinary　arrivals　take　place

to…night；　that　consequences　may　arise　from　this　popular　ferment；

which　every　man　of　sense　and　feeling　would　deplore。'



'TWENTY　MINUTES　PAST　SIX。



'I　have　just　heard　that　the　boy　who　fell　through　the　pastrycook's

window　last　night　has　died　of　the　fright。　　He　was　suddenly　called

upon　to　pay　three　and　sixpence　for　the　damage　done；　and　his

constitution；　it　seems；　was　not　strong　enough　to　bear　up　against

the　shock。　　The　inquest；　it　is　said；　will　be　held　to…morrow。'



'THREE…QUARTERS　PART　SEVEN。



'Professors　Muff　and　Nogo　have　just　driven　up　to　the　hotel　door；

they　at　once　ordered　dinner　with　great　condescension。　　We　are　all

very　much　delighted　with　the　urbanity　of　their　manners；　and　the

ease　with　which　they　adapt　themselves　to　the　forms　and　ceremonies

of　ordinary　life。　　Immediately　on　their　arrival　they　sent　for　the

head　waiter；　and　privately　requested　him　to　purchase　a　live　dog；　…

as　cheap　a　one　as　he　could　meet　with；　…　and　to　send　him　up　after

dinner；　with　a　pie…board；　a　knife　and　fork；　and　a　clean　plate。　　It

is　conjectured　that　some　experiments　will　be　tried　upon　the　dog　to…

night；　if　any　particulars　should　transpire；　I　will　forward　them　by

express。'



'HALF…PAST　EIGHT。



'The　animal　has　been　procured。　　He　is　a　pug…dog；　of　rather

intelligent　appearance；　in　good　condition；　and　with　very　short

legs。　　He　has　been　tied　to　a　curtain…peg　in　a　dark　room；　and　is

howling　dreadfully。'



'TEN　MINUTES　TO　NINE。



'The　dog　has　just　been　rung　for。　　With　an　instinct　which　would

appear　almost　the　result　of　reason；　the　sagacious　animal　seized　the

waiter　by　the　calf　of　the　leg　when　he　approached　to　take　him；　and

made　a　desperate；　though　ineffectual　resistance。　　I　have　not　been

able　to　procure　admission　to　the　apartment　occupied　by　the

scientific　gentlemen；　but；　judging　from　the　sounds　which　reached　my

ears　when　I　stood　upon　the　landing…place　outside　the　door；　just

now；　I　should　be　disposed　to　say　that　the　dog　had　retreated

growling　beneath　some　article　of　furniture；　and　was　keeping　the

professors　at　bay。　　This　conjecture　is　confirmed　by　the　testimony

of　the　ostler；　who；　after　peeping　through　the　keyhole；　assures　me

that　he　distinctly　saw　Professor　Nogo　on　his　knees；　holding　forth　a

small　bottle　of　prussic　acid；　to　which　the　animal；　who　was　crouched

beneath　an　arm…chair；　obstinately　declined　to　smell。　　You　cannot

imagine　the　feverish　state　of　irritation　we　are　in；　lest　the

interests　of　science　should　be　sacrificed　to　the　prejudices　of　a

brute　creature；　who　is　not　endowed　with　sufficient　sense　to　foresee

the　incalculable　benefits　which　the　whole　human　race　may　derive

from　so　very　slight　a　concession　on　his　part。'



'NINE　O'CLOCK。



'The　dog's　tail　and　ears　have　been　sent　down…stairs　to　be　washed；

from　which　circumstance　we　infer　that　the　animal　is　no　more。　　His

forelegs　have　been　delivered　to　the　boots　to　be　brushed；　which

strengthens　the　supposition。'



'HALF　AFTER　TEN。



'My　feelings　are　so　overpowered　by　what　has　taken　place　in　the

course　of　the　last　hour　and　a　half；　that　I　have　scarcely　strength

to　detail　the　rapid　succession　of　events　which　have　quite

bewildered　all　those　who　are　cognizant　of　their　occurrence。　　It

appears　that　the　pug…dog　mentioned　in　my　last　was　surreptitiously

obtained；　…　stolen；　in　fact；　…　by　some　person　attached　to　the

stable　department；　from　an　unmarried　lady　resident　in　this　town。

Frantic　on　discovering　the　loss　of　her　favourite；　the　lady　rushed

distractedly　into　the　street；　calling　in　the　most　heart…rending　and

pathetic　manner　upon　the　passengers　to　restore　her；　her　Augustus；　…

for　so　the　deceased　was　named；　in　affectionate　remembrance　of　a

former　lover　of　his　mistress；　to　whom　he　bore　a　striking　personal

resemblance；　which　renders　the　circumstances　additionally

affecting。　　I　am　not　yet　in　a　condition　to　inform　you　what

circumstance　induced　the　bereaved　lady　to　direct　her　steps　to　the

hotel　which　had　witnessed　the　last　struggles　of　her　PROTEGE。　　I　can

only　state　that　she　arrived　there；　at　the　very　instant　when　his

detached　members　were　passing　through　the　passage　on　a　small　tray。

Her　shrieks　still　reverberate　in　my　ears！　　I　grieve　to　say　that　the

expressive　features　of　Professor　Muff　were　much　scratched　and

lacerated　by　the　injured　lady；　and　that　Professor　Nogo；　besides

sustaining　several　severe　bites；　has　lost　some　handfuls　of　hair

from　the　same　cause。　　It　must　be　some　consolation　to　these

gentlemen　to　know　that　their　ardent　attachment　to　scientific

pursuits　has　alone　occasioned　these　unpleasant　consequences；　for

which　the　sympathy　of　a　grateful　country　will　sufficiently　reward

them。　　The　unfortunate　lady　remains　at　the　Pig　and　Tinder…box；　and

up　to　this　time　is　reported　in　a　very　precarious　state。



'I　need　scarcely　tell　you　that　this　unlooked…for　catastrophe　has

cast　a　damp　and　gloom　upon　us　in　the　midst　of　our　exhilaration；

natural　in　any　case；　but　greatly　enhanced　in　this；　by　the　amiable

qualities　of　the　deceased　animal；　who　appears　to　have　been　much　and

deservedly　respected　by　the　whole　of　his　acquaintance。'



'TWELVE　O'CLOCK。



'I　take　the　last　opportunity　before　sealing　my　parcel　to　inform　you

that　the　boy　who　fell　through　the　pastrycook's　window　is　not　dead；

as　was　universally　believed；　but　alive　and　well。　　The　report

appears　to　have　had　its　origin　in　his　mysterious　disappearance。　　He

was　found　half　an　hour　since　on　the　premises　of　a　sweet…stuff

maker；　where　a　raffle　had　been　announced　for　a　second…hand　seal…

skin　cap　and　a　tambourine；　and　where　…　a　sufficient　number　of

members　not　having　been　obtained　at　first　…　he　had　patiently　waited

until　the　list　was　completed。　　This　fortunate　discovery　has　in　some

degree　restored　our　gaiety　and　cheerfulness。　　It　is　proposed　to　get

up　a　subscription　for　him　without　delay。



'Everybody　is　nervously　anxious　to　see　what　to…morrow　will　bring

forth。　　If　any　one　should　arrive　in　the　course　of　the　night；　I　have

left　strict　directions　to　be　called　immediately。　　I　should　have　sat

up；　indeed；　but　the　agitating　events　of　this　day　have　been　too　much

for　me。



'No　news　yet　of　either　of　the　Professors　Snore；　Doze；　or　Wheezy。

It　is　very　strange！'



'WEDNESDAY　AFTERNOON。



'All　is　now　over；　and；　upon　one　point　at　least；　I　am　at　length

enabled　to　set　the　minds　of　your　readers　at　rest。　　The　three

professors　arrived　at　ten　minutes　after　two　o'clock；　and；　instead

of　taking　up　their　quarters　at　the　Original　Pig；　as　it　was

universally　understood　in　the　course　of　yesterday　that　they　would

assuredly　have　done；　drove　straight　to　the　Pig　and　Tinder…box；

where　they　threw　off　the　mask　at　once；　and　openly　announced　their

intention　of　remaining。　　Professor　Wheezy　may　reconcile　this　very

extraordinary　conduct　with　HIS　notions　of　fair　and　equitable

dealing；　but　I　would　recommend　Professor　Wheezy　to　be　cautious　how

he　presumes　too　far　upon　his　well…earned　reputation。　　How　such　a

man　as　Professor　Snore；　or；　which　is　still　more　extraordinary；　such

an　individual　as　Professor　Doze；　can　quietly　allow　himself　to　be

mixed　up　with　such　proceedings　as　these；　you　will　naturally

inquire。　　Upon　this　head；　rumour　is　silent；　I　have　my　speculations；

but　forbear　to　give　utterance　to　them　just　now。'



'FOUR　O'CLOCK。



'The　town　is　filling　fast；　eighteenpence　has　been　offered　for　a　bed

and　refused。　　Several　gentlemen　were　under　the　necessity　last　night

of　sleeping　in　the　brick　fields；　and　on　the　steps　of　doors；　for

which　they　were　taken　before　the　magistrates　in　a　body　this

morning；　and　committed　to　prison　as　vagrants　for　various　terms。

One　of　these　persons　I　understand　to　be　a　highly…respectable

tinker；　of　great　practical　skill；　who　had　forwarded　a　paper　to　the

President　of　Section　D。　Mechanical　Science；　on　the　construction　of

pipkins　with　copper　bottoms　and　safety…values；　of　which　report

speaks　highly。　　The　incarceration　of　this　gentleman　is　greatly　to

be　regretted；　as　his　absence　will　preclude　any　discussion　on　the

subject。



'The　bills　are　being　taken　down　in　all　directions；　and　lodgings　are

being　secured　on　almost　any　terms。　　I　have　heard　of　fifteen

shillings　a　week　for　two　rooms；　exclusive　of　coals　and　attendance；

but　I　can　scarcely　believe　it。　　The　excitement　is　dreadful。　　I　was

informed　this　morning　that　the　civil　authorities；　apprehensive　of

some　outbreak　of　popular　feeling；　had　commanded　a　recruiting

sergeant　and　two　corporals　to　be　under　arms；　and　that；　with　the

view　of　not　irritating　the　people　unnecessarily　by　their　presence；

they　had　been　requested　to　take　up　their　position　before　daybreak

in　a　turnpike；　distant　about　a　quarter　of　a　mile　from　the　town。

The　vigour　and　promptness　of　these　measures　cannot　be　too　highly

extolled。



'Intelligence　has　just　been　brought　me；　that　an　elderly　female；　in

a　state　of　inebriety；　has　declared　in　the　open　street　her　intention

to　〃do〃　for　Mr。　Slug。　　Some　statistical　returns　compiled　by　that

gentleman；　relative　to　the　consumption　of　raw　spirituous　liquors　in

this　place；　are　supposed　to　be　the　cause　of　the　wretch's　animosity。

It　is　added　that　this　declaration　was　loudly　cheered　by　a　crowd　of

persons　who　had　assembled　on　the　spot；　and　that　one　man　had　the

boldness　to　designate　Mr。　Slug　aloud　by　the　opprobrious　epithet　of

〃Stick…in…the…mud！〃　　It　is　earnestly　to　be　hoped　that　now；　when　the

moment　has　arrived　for　their　interference；　the　magistrates　will　not

shrink　from　the　exercise　of　that　power　which　is　vested　in　them　by

the　constitution　of　our　common　country。'



'HALF…PAST　TEN。



'The　disturbance；　I　am　happy　to　inform　you；　has　been　completely

quelled；　and　the　ringleader　taken　into　custody。　　She　had　a　pail　of

cold　water　thrown　over　her；　previous　to　being　locked　up；　and

expresses　great　contrition　and　uneasiness。　　We　are　all　in　a　fever

of　anticipation　about　to…morrow；　but；　now　that　we　are　within　a　fe