lizzie leigh-第2部分
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mother。 He bade them good…day; and left them。
Will looked very gloomy; but he did not speak till they got near the
house。 Then he said …
〃Tom; go to th' shippon; and supper the cows。 I want to speak to
mother alone。〃
When he entered the house…place; she was sitting before the fire;
looking into its embers。 She did not hear him come in: for some
time she had lost her quick perception of outward things。
〃Mother! what's this about going to Manchester?〃 asked he。
〃Oh; lad!〃 said she; turning round; and speaking in a beseeching
tone; 〃I must go and seek our Lizzie。 I cannot rest here for
thinking on her。 Many's the time I've left thy father sleeping in
bed; and stole to th' window; and looked and looked my heart out
towards Manchester; till I thought I must just set out and tramp over
moor and moss straight away till I got there; and then lift up every
downcast face till I came to our Lizzie。 And often; when the south
wind was blowing soft among the hollows; I've fancied (it could but
be fancy; thou knowest) I heard her crying upon me; and I've thought
the voice came closer and closer; till at last it was sobbing out;
'Mother!' close to the door; and I've stolen down; and undone the
latch before now; and looked out into the still; black night;
thinking to see herand turned sick and sorrowful when I heard no
living sound but the sough of the wind dying away。 Oh; speak not to
me of stopping here; when she may be perishing for hunger; like the
poor lad in the parable。〃 And now she lifted up her voice; and wept
aloud。
Will was deeply grieved。 He had been old enough to be told the
family shame when; more than two years before; his father had had his
letter to his daughter returned by her mistress in Manchester;
telling him that Lizzie had left her service some timeand why。 He
had sympathized with his father's stern anger; though he had thought
him something hard; it is true; when he had forbidden his weeping;
heart…broken wife to go and try to find her poor sinning child; and
declared that henceforth they would have no daughter; that she should
be as one dead; and her name never more be named at market or at meal
time; in blessing or in prayer。 He had held his peace; with
compressed lips and contracted brow; when the neighbours had noticed
to him how poor Lizzie's death had aged both his father and his
mother; and how they thought the bereaved couple would never hold up
their heads again。 He himself had felt as if that one event had made
him old before his time; and had envied Tom the tears he had shed
over poor; pretty; innocent; dead Lizzie。 He thought about her
sometimes; till he ground his teeth together; and could have struck
her down in her shame。 His mother had never named her to him until
now。
〃Mother!〃 said he; at last。 〃She may be dead。 Most likely she is〃
〃No; Will; she is not dead;〃 said Mrs。 Leigh。 〃God will not let her
die till I've seen her once again。 Thou dost not know how I've
prayed and prayed just once again to see her sweet face; and tell her
I've forgiven her; though she's broken my heartshe has; Will。〃 She
could not go on for a minute or two for the choking sobs。 〃Thou dost
not know that; or thou wouldst not say she could be deadfor God is
very merciful; Will; He is: He is much more pitiful than man。 I
could never ha' spoken to thy father as I did to Himand yet thy
father forgave her at last。 The last words he said were that he
forgave her。 Thou'lt not be harder than thy father; Will? Do not
try and hinder me going to seek her; for it's no use。〃
Will sat very still for a long time before he spoke。 At last he
said; 〃I'll not hinder you。 I think she's dead; but that's no
matter。〃
〃She's not dead;〃 said her mother; with low earnestness。 Will took
no notice of the interruption。
〃We will all go to Manchester for a twelvemonth; and let the farm to
Tom Higginbotham。 I'll get blacksmith's work; and Tom can have good
schooling for awhile; which he's always craving for。 At the end of
the year you'll come back; mother; and give over fretting for Lizzie;
and think with me that she is deadand; to my mind; that would be
more comfort than to think of her living;〃 he dropped his voice as he
spoke these last words。 She shook her head but made no answer。 He
asked again〃Will you; mother; agree to this?〃
〃I'll agree to it a…this…ns;〃 said she。 〃If I hear and see nought of
her for a twelvemonth; me being in Manchester looking out; I'll just
ha' broken my heart fairly before the year's ended; and then I shall
know neither love nor sorrow for her any more; when I'm at rest in my
grave。 I'll agree to that; Will。〃
〃Well; I suppose it must be so。 I shall not tell Tom; mother; why
we're flitting to Manchester。 Best spare him。〃
〃As thou wilt;〃 said she; sadly; 〃so that we go; that's all。〃
Before the wild daffodils were in flower in the sheltered copses
round Upclose Farm; the Leighs were settled in their Manchester home;
if they could ever grow to consider that place as a home; where there
was no garden or outbuilding; no fresh breezy outlet; no far…
stretching view; over moor and hollow; no dumb animals to be tended;
and; what more than all they missed; no old haunting memories; even
though those remembrances told of sorrow; and the dead and gone。
Mrs。 Leigh heeded the loss of all these things less than her sons。
She had more spirit in her countenance than she had had for months;
because now she had hope; of a sad enough kind; to be sure; but still
it was hope。 She performed all her household duties; strange and
complicated as they were; and bewildered as she was with all the town
necessities of her new manner of life; but when her house was
〃sided;〃 and the boys come home from their work in the evening; she
would put on her things and steal out; unnoticed; as she thought; but
not without many a heavy sigh from Will; after she had closed the
house…door and departed。 It was often past midnight before she came
back; pale and weary; with almost a guilty look upon her face; but
that face so full of disappointment and hope deferred; that Will had
never the heart to say what he thought of the folly and hopelessness
of the search。 Night after night it was renewed; till days grew to
weeks; and weeks to months。 All this time Will did his duty towards
her as well as he could; without having sympathy with her。 He stayed
at home in the evenings for Tom's sake; and often wished he had Tom's
pleasure in reading; for the time hung heavy on his hands as he sat
up for his mother。
I need not tell you how the mother spent the weary hours。 And yet I
will tell you something。 She used to wander out; at first as if
without a purpose; till she rallied her thoughts; and brought all her
energies to bear on the one point; then she went with earnest
patience along the least…known ways to some new part of the town;
looking wistfully with dumb entreaty into people's faces; sometimes
catching a glimpse of a figure which had a kind of momentary likeness
to her child's; and following that figure with never…wearying
perseverance; till some light from shop or lamp showed the cold
strange face which was not her daughter's。 Once or twice a kind…
hearted passer…by; struck by her look of yearning woe; turned back
and offered help; or asked her what she wanted。 When so spoken to;
she answered only; 〃You don't know a poor girl they call Lizzie
Leigh; do you?〃 and when they denied all knowledge; she shook her
head; and went on again。 I think they believed her to be crazy。 But
she never spoke first to any one。 She sometimes took a few minutes'
rest on the door…steps; and sometimes (very seldom) covered her face
and cried; but she could not afford to lose time and chances in this
way; while her eyes were blinded with tears; the lost one might pass
by unseen。
One evening; in the rich time of shortening autumn…days; Will saw an
old man; who; without being absolutely drunk; could not guide himself
rightly along the foot…path; and was mocked for his unsteadiness of
gait by the idle boys of the neighbourhood。 For his father's sake;
Will regarded old age with tenderness; even when most degraded and
removed from the stern virtues which dignified that father; so he
took the old man home; and seemed to believe his often…repeated
assertions; that he drank nothing but water。 The stranger tried to
stiffen himself up into steadiness as he drew nearer home; as if
there some one there for whose respect he cared even in his half…
intoxicated state; or whose feelings he feared to grieve。 His home
was exquisitely clean and neat; even in outside appearance;
threshold; window; and windowsill were outward signs of some spirit
of purity within。 Will was rewarded for his attention by a bright
glance of thanks; succeeded by a blush of shame; from a young woman
of twenty or thereabouts。 She did not speak or second her father's
hospitable invitations to him to be seated。 She seemed unwilling
that a stranger should witness her father's attempts at stately
sobriety; and Will could not bear to stay and see her distress。 But
when the old man; with many a flabby shake of the hand; kept asking
him to come again some other evening; and see them; Will sought her
downcast eyes; and; though he could not read their veiled meaning; he
answered; timidly; 〃If it's agreeable to everybody; I'll come; and
thank ye。〃 But there was no answer from the girl; to whom this
speech was in reality addressed; and Will left the house; liking her
all the better for never speaking。
He thought about her a great deal for the next day or two; he scolded
himself for being so foolish as to think of her; and then fell to
with fresh vigour; and thought of her more than ever。 He tried to
depreciate her: he told himself she was not pretty; and then made
indignant answer that