lizzie leigh-第7部分

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gazing　could　satisfy　their　longing；　and　at　last　she　stooped　down　and

kissed　the　pale；　worn　hand　that　lay　outside　the　bedclothes。　　No　touch

disturbed　the　sleeper；　the　mother　need　not　have　laid　the　hand　so

gently　down　upon　the　counterpane。　　There　was　no　sign　of　life；　save

only　now　and　then　a　deep　sob…like　sigh。　　Mrs。　Leigh　sat　down　beside

the　bed；　and　still　holding　back　the　curtain；　looked　on　and　on；　as　if

she　could　never　be　satisfied。



Susan　would　fain　have　stayed　by　her　darling　one；　but　she　had　many

calls　upon　her　time　and　thoughts；　and　her　will　had　now；　as　ever；　to

be　given　up　to　that　of　others。　　All　seemed　to　devolve　the　burden　of

their　cares　on　her。　　Her　father；　ill…humoured　from　his　last　night's

intemperance；　did　not　scruple　to　reproach　her　with　being　the　cause　of

little　Nanny's　death；　and　when；　after　bearing　his　upbraiding　meekly

for　some　time；　she　could　no　longer　restrain　herself；　but　began　to

cry；　he　wounded　her　even　more　by　his　injudicious　attempts　at　comfort；

for　he　said　it　was　as　well　the　child　was　dead；　it　was　none　of　theirs；

and　why　should　they　be　troubled　with　it？　　Susan　wrung　her　hands　at

this；　and　came　and　stood　before　her　father；　and　implored　him　to

forbear。　　Then　she　had　to　take　all　requisite　steps　for　the　coroner's

inquest；　she　had　to　arrange　for　the　dismissal　of　her　school；　she　had

to　summons　a　little　neighbour；　and　send　his　willing　feet　on　a　message

to　William　Leigh；　who；　she　felt；　ought　to　be　informed　of　his　mother's

whereabouts；　and　of　the　whole　state　of　affairs。　　She　asked　her

messenger　to　tell　him　to　come　and　speak　to　her；　that　his　mother　was

at　her　house。　　She　was　thankful　that　her　father　sauntered　out　to　have

a　gossip　at　the　nearest　coach…stand；　and　to　relate　as　many　of　the

night's　adventures　as　he　knew；　for　as　yet　he　was　in　ignorance　of　the

watcher　and　the　watched；　who　silently　passed　away　the　hours　upstairs。



At　dinner…time　Will　came。　　He　looked　red；　glad；　impatient；　excited。

Susan　stood　calm　and　white　before　him；　her　soft；　loving　eyes　gazing

straight　into　his。



〃Will；〃　said　she；　in　a　low；　quiet　voice；　〃your　sister　is　upstairs。〃



〃My　sister！〃　said　he；　as　if　affrighted　at　the　idea；　and　losing　his

glad　look　in　one　of　gloom。　　Susan　saw　it；　and　her　heart　sank　a

little；　but　she　went　on　as　calm　to　all　appearance　as　ever。



〃She　was　little　Nanny's　mother；　as　perhaps　you　know。　　Poor　little

Nanny　was　killed　last　night　by　a　fall　downstairs。〃　　All　the　calmness

was　gone；　all　the　suppressed　feeling　was　displayed　in　spite　of　every

effort。　　She　sat　down；　and　hid　her　face　from　him；　and　cried　bitterly。

He　forgot　everything　but　the　wish；　the　longing　to　comfort　her。　　He

put　his　arm　round　her　waist；　and　bent　over　her。　　But　all　he　could

say；　was；　〃Oh；　Susan；　how　can　I　comfort　you？　　Don't　take　on　sopray

don't！〃　　He　never　changed　the　words；　but　the　tone　varied　every　time

he　spoke。　　At　last　she　seemed　to　regain　her　power　over　herself；　and

she　wiped　her　eyes；　and　once　more　looked　upon　him　with　her　own　quiet；

earnest；　unfearing　gaze。



〃Your　sister　was　near　the　house。　　She　came　in　on　hearing　my　words　to

the　doctor。　　She　is　asleep　now；　and　your　mother　is　watching　her。　　I

wanted　to　tell　you　all　myself。　　Would　you　like　to　see　your　mother？〃



〃No！〃　said　he。　　〃I　would　rather　see　none　but　thee。　　Mother　told　me

thou　knew'st　all。〃　　His　eyes　were　downcast　in　their　shame。



But　the　holy　and　pure　did　not　lower　or　veil　her　eyes。



She　said；　〃Yes；　I　know　allall　but　her　sufferings。　　Think　what　they

must　have　been！〃



He　made　answer；　low　and　stern；　〃She　deserved　them　all；　every　jot。〃



〃In　the　eye　of　God；　perhaps　she　does。　　He　is　the　Judge；　we　are　not。〃



〃Oh！〃　she　said；　with　a　sudden　burst；　〃Will　Leigh！　　I　have　thought　so

well　of　you；　don't　go　and　make　me　think　you　cruel　and　hard。　　Goodness

is　not　goodness　unless　there　is　mercy　and　tenderness　with　it。　　There

is　your　mother；　who　has　been　nearly　heart…broken；　now　full　of

rejoicing　over　her　child。　　Think　of　your　mother。〃



〃I　do　think　of　her；〃　said　he。　　〃I　remember　the　promise　I　gave　her

last　night。　　Thou　shouldst　give　me　time。　　I　would　do　right　in　time。

I　never　think　it　o'er　in　quiet。　　But　I　will　do　what　is　right　and

fitting；　never　fear。　　Thou　hast　spoken　out　very　plain　to　me；　and

misdoubted　me；　Susan；　I　love　thee　so；　that　thy　words　cut　me。　　If　I

did　hang　back　a　bit　from　making　sudden　promises；　it　was　because　not

even　for　love　of　thee；　would　I　say　what　I　was　not　feeling；　and　at

first　I　could　not　feel　all　at　once　as　thou　wouldst　have　me。　　But　I'm

not　cruel　and　hard；　for　if　I　had　been；　I　should　na'　have　grieved　as　I

have　done。〃



He　made　as　if　he　were　going　away；　and　indeed　he　did　feel　he　would

rather　think　it　over　in　quiet。　　But　Susan；　grieved　at　her　incautious

words；　which　had　all　the　appearance　of　harshness；　went　a　step　or　two

nearerpausedand　then；　all　over　blushes；　said　in　a　low；　soft

whisper　…



〃Oh；　Will！　　I　beg　your　pardon。　　I　am　very　sorry。　　Won't　you　forgive

me？〃



She　who　had　always　drawn　back；　and　been　so　reserved；　said　this　in　the

very　softest　manner；　with　eyes　now　uplifted　beseechingly；　now　dropped

to　the　ground。　　Her　sweet　confusion　told　more　than　words　could　do；

and　Will　turned　back；　all　joyous　in　his　certainty　of　being　beloved；

and　took　her　in　his　arms；　and　kissed　her。



〃My　own　Susan！〃　he　said。



Meanwhile　the　mother　watched　her　child　in　the　room　above。



It　was　late　in　the　afternoon　before　she　awoke；　for　the　sleeping

draught　had　been　very　powerful。　　The　instant　she　awoke；　her　eyes　were

fixed　on　her　mother's　face　with　a　gaze　as　unflinching　as　if　she　were

fascinated。　　Mrs。　Leigh　did　not　turn　away；　nor　move；　for　it　seemed　as

if　motion　would　unlock　the　stony　command　over　herself　which；　while　so

perfectly　still；　she　was　enabled　to　preserve。　　But　by…and…by　Lizzie

cried　out；　in　a　piercing　voice　of　agony　…



〃Mother；　don't　look　at　me！　　I　have　been　so　wicked！〃　and　instantly　she

hid　her　face；　and　grovelled　among　the　bed…clothes；　and　lay　like　one

dead；　so　motionless　was　she。



Mrs。　Leigh　knelt　down　by　the　bed；　and　spoke　in　the　most　soothing

tones。



〃Lizzie；　dear；　don't　speak　so。　　I'm　thy　mother；　darling；　don't　be

afeard　of　me。　　I　never　left　off　loving　thee；　Lizzie。　　I　was　always　a…

thinking　of　thee。　　Thy　father　forgave　thee　afore　he　died。〃　　（There

was　a　little　start　here；　but　no　sound　was　heard。）　　〃Lizzie；　lass；

I'll　do　aught　for　thee；　I'll　live　for　thee；　only　don't　be　afeard　of

me。　　Whate'er　thou　art　or　hast　been；　we'll　ne'er　speak　on't。　　We'll

leave　th'　oud　times　behind　us；　and　go　back　to　the　Upclose　Farm。　　I

but　left　it　to　find　thee；　my　lass；　and　God　has　led　me　to　thee。

Blessed　be　His　name。　　And　God　is　good；　too；　Lizzie。　　Thou　hast　not

forgot　thy　Bible；　I'll　be　bound；　for　thou　wert　always　a　scholar。　　I'm

no　reader；　but　I　learnt　off　them　texts　to　comfort　me　a　bit；　and　I've

said　them　many　a　time　a　day　to　myself。　　Lizzie；　lass；　don't　hide　thy

head　so；　it's　thy　mother　as　is　speaking　to　thee。　　Thy　little　child

clung　to　me　only　yesterday；　and　if　it's　gone　to　be　an　angel；　it　will

speak　to　God　for　thee。　　Nay；　don't　sob　a　that　'as；　thou　shalt　have　it

again　in　heaven；　I　know　thou'lt　strive　to　get　there；　for　thy　little

Nancy's　sakeand　listen！　　I'll　tell　thee　God's　promises　to　them　that

are　penitentonly　doan't　be　afeard。〃



Mrs。　Leigh　folded　her　hands；　and　strove　to　speak　very　clearly；　while

she　repeated　every　tender　and　merciful　text　she　could　remember。　　She

could　tell　from　the　breathing　that　her　daughter　was　listening；　but

she　was　so　dizzy　and　sick　herself　when　she　had　ended；　that　she　could

not　go　on　speaking。　　It　was　all　she　could　do　to　keep　from　crying

aloud。



At　last　she　heard　her　daughter's　voice。



〃Where　have　they　taken　her　to？〃　she　asked。



〃She　is　downstairs。　　So　quiet；　and　peaceful；　and　happy　she　looks。〃



〃Could　she　speak！　　Oh；　if　Godif　I　might　but　have　heard　her　little

voice！　　Mother；　I　used　to　dream　of　it。　　May　I　see　her　once　again？

Oh；　mother；　if　I　strive　very　hard　and　God　is　very　merciful；　and　I　go

to　heaven；　I　shall　not　know　herI　shall　not　know　my　own　again：　　she

will　shun　me　as　a　stranger；　and　chug　to　Susan　Palmer　and　to　you。　　Oh；

woe！　　Oh；　woe！〃　　She　shook　with　exceeding　sorrow。



In　her　earnestness　of　speech　she　had　uncovered　her　face；　and　tried　to

read　Mrs。　Leigh's　thoughts　through　her　looks。　　And　when　she　saw　those

aged　eyes　brimming　full　of　tears；　and　marked　the　quivering　lips；　she

threw　her　arms　round　the　faithful　mother's　neck；　and　wept　there；　as

she　had　done　in　many　a　childish　sorrow；　but　with　a　deeper；　a　more

wretched　grief。



Her　mother　hushed　her　on　her　breast；　and　lulled　her　as　if　she　were　a

baby；　and　she　grew　still　and　quiet。



They　sat　thus　for　a　long；　long　time。　　At　last；　Susan　Palmer　came　up

with　some　tea　and　bread　and　butter　for　Mrs。　Leigh。　　She　watched　the

mother　feed　her　sick；　unwilling　child；　with　every　fond　inducement　to

eat　which　she　could　devise；　they　neither　of　them　took　notice　of

Susan's　presence。　　That　night　they　lay　in　each　other's　arms；　but

Susan　slept　on　the　ground　beside　them。



They　took　the　little　corpse　（the　little　unconscious　sacrifice；　whose

early　calling…home　had　reclaimed　her　poor　wandering　mother）　to　the

hills；　which　in　her　life…time　she　had　never　seen。　　They　dared　not　lay

her　by　the　stern　grandfather　in　Milne　Row　churchyard；　but　they　bore

her　to　a　lone　moorland　graveyard；　where；　long　ago；　the　Quakers　used

to　bury　their　dead。　　They　laid　her　there　on　the　sunny　slope；　where

the　earliest　spring　flowers　blow。



Will　and　Susan　live　at　the　Upclose　Farm。　　Mrs。　Leigh　and　Lizzie　dwell

in　a　cottage　so　secluded　that；　until　you　drop　into　the　very　hollow

where　it　is　placed；　you　do　not　see　it。　　Tom　is　a　schoolmaster　in

Rochdale；　and　he　and　Will　help　to　support　their　mother。　　I　only　know

that；　if　the　cottage　be　hidden　in　a　green　hollow　of　the　hills；　every

sound　of　sorrow　in　the　whole　upland　is　heard　thereevery　call　of

suffering　or　of　sic