sidneysheldon.astrangerinthemirror-第7部分

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Captain　Sam　Winters　watched　one　day　as　Toby　went　through　one　of　his　routines　in　the　recreation　hall。　Afterward；　he　went　up　to　Toby　and　said；　〃I'm　sorry　your　transfer　didn't　work　out；　Temple。　I　think　you　have　talent。　When　the　war's　over；　if　you　get　to　Hollywood；　look　me　up。〃　He　grinned　and　added；　〃Assuming　I　still　have　a　job　out　there。〃　The　following　week　Toby's　battalion　was　sent　into　bat。　
　In　later　years；　when　Toby　recalled　die　war；　what　he　remembered　were　not　the　battles。　At　Samt…Lo　he　had　been　a　smash　doing　a　mouth…sync　act　to　a　Bing　Crosby　record。　At　Aachen　he　had　sneaked　into　the　hospital　and　told　jokes　to　the　wounded　for　two　hours　before　the　nurses　threw　him　out。　He　remembered　with　satisfaction　that　one　GI　had　laughed　so　hard　all　his　stitches　had　broken　open。　Metz　was　where　he　had　bombed　out；　but　Toby　felt　that　that　was　only　because　the　audience　was　jittery　about　the　Nazi　planes　flying　overhead。　
　The　fighting　that　Toby　did　was　incidental。　He　was　cited　for　bravery　in　the　capture　of　a　German　mand　post。　Toby　had　really　had　no　idea　what　was　going　on。　He　had　been　playing　John　Wayne；　and　had　gotten　so　earned　away　that　it　was　all　over　before　he　had　time　to　be　frightened。　To　Toby；　it　was　the　entertaining　that　was　important。　
　In　Cherbourg　he　visited　a　whorehouse　with　a　couple　of　friends；　and　while　they　were　upstairs；　Toby　stayed　in　the　parlor　doing　a　routine　for　the　madame　and　two　of　her　girls。　When　he　had　finished；　the　madame　sent　him　upstairs；　on　the　house。　
　That　was　Toby's　war。　All　in　all；　it　was　not　a　bad　war；　and　time　went　by　very　quickly。　When　the　war　ended；　it　was　1945　and　Toby　was　almost　twenty…five　years　old。　In　appearance　he　had　not　aged　one　day。　He　had　the　same　sweet　face　and　beguiling　blue　eyes；　and　that　helpless　air　of　innocence　about　him。　Everyone　was　talking　about　going　home。　There　was　a　bride　waiting　in　Kansas　City；　a　mother　and　father　in　Bayonne；　a　business　in　St。　Louis。　There　was　nothing　waiting　for　Toby。　Except　Fame。　He　decided　to　go　to　Hollywood。　It　was　time　that　God　made　good　on　His　promise。　
　
　〃Do　you　know　God？　Have　you　seen　the　face　of　Jesus？　I　have　seen　Him；　brothers　and　sisters；　and　I　have　heard　His　voice；　but　He　speaks　only　to　those　who　kneel　before　Him　and　confess　their　sins。　God　abhors　the　unrepentant。　The　bolo　of　God's　wrath　is　bent　and　the　flaming　arrow　of　His　righteous　anger　is　pointed　at　your　wicked　hearts；　and　at　any　moment　He　will　let　go　and　the　arrow　of　His　retribution　shall　smite　your　hearts！　Look　up　to　Him　now；　before　it　is　too　late！〃　
　Josephine　looked　up　toward　the　top　of　the　tent；　terrified；　expecting　to　see　a　flaming　arrow　shooting　at　her。　She　clutched　her　mother's　hand；　but　her　mother　was　unaware　of　it。　Her　face　was　flushed　and　her　eyes　were　bright　with　fervor。　〃Praise　Jesus！〃　the　congregation　roared。　The　revival　meetings　were　held　in　a　huge　tent；　on　the　outskirts　of　Odessa；　and　Mrs。　Czinski　took　Josephine　to　all　of　them。　The　preacher's　pulpit　was　a　wooden　platform　raised　six　feet　above　the　ground。　Immediately　in　front　of　the　platform　was　the　glory　pen；　where　sinners　were　brought　to　repent　and　experience　conversion。　Beyond　the　pen　were　rows　and　rows　of　hard　wooden　benches；　packed　with　chanting；　fanatic　seekers　of　salvation；　awed　by　the　threats　of　Hell　and　Damnation。　It　was　terrifying　for　a　six…year…old　child。　The　evangelists　were　Fundamentalists；　Holy　Rollers　and　Pentecostalists　and　Methodists　and　Adventists；　and　they　all　breathed　Hell…fire　and　Damnation。　
　〃Get　on　your　knees；　O　ye　sinners；　and　tremble　before　the　might　of　Jehovah！　For　your　wicked　ways　have　broken　the　heart　of　Jesus　Christ；　and　for　that　ye　shall　bear　the　punishment　of　His　Father's　wrath。　Look　around　at　the　faces　of　the　young　children　here；　conceived　in　lust　and　filled　with　sin。〃　And　little　Josephine　would　burn　with　shame；　feeling　everyone　staring　at　her。　When　the　bad　headaches　came；　Josephine　knew　that　they　were　a　punishment　from　God。　She　prayed　every　night　that　they　would　go　away；　so　she　would　know　that　God　had　forgiven　her。　She　wished　she　knew　what　she　had　done　that　was　so　bad。　〃And　I'll　sing　Hallelujah；　and　you'll　sing　Hallelujah；　and　we'll　all　sing　Hallelujah　when　we　arrive　at　Home。〃　
　〃Liquor　is　the　blood　of　the　Devil；　and　tobacco　is　his　breath；　and　fornication　is　his　pleasure。　Are　you　guilty　of　trafficking　with　Satan？　Then　you　shall　burn　eternally　in　Hell；　damned　forever；　because　Lucifer　is　ing　to　get　you！〃　And　Josephine　would　tremble　and　look　around　wildly；　fiercely　clutching　the　wooden　bench　so　that　the　Devil　could　not　take　her。　They　sang；　〃I　want　to　get　to　Heaven；　my　long…sought　rest。〃　But　little　Josephine　misunderstood　and　sang；　〃I　want　to　get　to　Heaven　with　my　long　short　dress。〃　
　After　the　thundering　sermons　would　e　the　Miracles。　Josephine　would　watch　in　frightened　fascination　as　a　procession　of　crippled　men　and　women　limped　and　crawled　and　rode　in　wheelchairs　to　the　glory　pen；　where　the　preacher　laid　hands　on　them　and　willed　the　powers　of　Heaven　to　heal　them。　They　would　throw　away　their　canes　and　their　crutches；　and　some　of　them　would　babble　hysterically　in　strange　tongues；　and　Josephine　would　cower　in　terror。　The　revival　meetings　always　ended　with　the　plate　being　passed。　
　〃Jesus　is　watching　you　　and　He　hates　a　miser。〃　And　then　it　would　be　over。　But　the　fear　would　stay　with　Josephine　for　a　long　time。　
　In　1946；　the　town　of　Odessa；　Texas；　had　a　dark　brown　taste。　Long　ago；　when　the　Indians　had　lived　there；　it　had　been　the　taste　of　desert　sand。　Now　it　was　the　taste　of　oil。　There　were　two　kinds　of　people　in　Odessa：　Oil　People　and　the　Others。　The　Oil　People　did　not　look　down　on　the　Others　　they　simply　felt　sorry　for　them；　for　surely　God　meant　everyone　to　have　private　planes　and　Cadillacs　and　swimming　pools　and　to　give　charapugne　parties　for　a　hundred　people。　That　was　why　He　had　put　oil　in　Texas。　
　Josephine　Czinski　did　not　know　that　she　was　one　of　the　Others。　At　six；　Josephine　Czinski　was　a　beautiful　child；　with　shiny　black　hair　and　deep　brown　eyes　and　a　lovely　oval　face。　Josephine's　mother　was　a　skilled　seamstress　who　worked　for　the　wealthy　people　in　town；　and　she　would　take　Josephine　along　as　she　fitted　the　Oil　Ladies　and　turned　bolts　of　fairy　cloth　into　stunning　evening　gowns。　The　Oil　People　liked　Josephine　because　she　was　a　polite；　friendly　child；　and　they　liked　themselves　for　liking　her。　They　felt　it　was　democratic　of　them　to　allow　a　poor　kid　from　the　other　side　of　town　to　ate　with　their　children。　Josephine　was　Polish；　but　she　did　look　lovely；　and　while　she　could　never　be　a　member　of　the　Club；　they　were　happy　to　give　her　visitors'　privileges。　Josephine　was　allowed　to　play　with　the　Oil　Children　and　share　their　bicycles　and　ponies　and　hundred…dollar　dolls；　so　that　she　came　to　live　a　dual　life。　There　was　her　life　at　home　in　the　tiny　clapboard　cottage　with　battered　furniture　and　outdoor　plumbing　and　doors　that　sagged　on　their　hinges。　Then　there　was　Josephine's　life　in　beautiful　colonial　manions　on　large　country　estates。　If　Josephine　stayed　overnight　at　Cissy　Topping's　or　Lindy　Ferguson's；　she　was　given　a　large　bedroom　all　to　herself；　with　breakfast　served　by　maids　and　butlers。　Josephine　loved　to　get　up　in　the　middle　of　the　night　when　everyone　was　asleep　and　go　down　and　stare　at　the　beautiful　things　in　the　house；　the　lovely　paintings　and　heavy　monogrammed　silver　and　antiques　burnished　by　time　and　history。　She　would　study　them　and　caress　them　and　tell　herself　that　one　day　she　would　have　such　things；　one　day　she　would　live　in　a　grand　house　and　be　surrounded　by　beauty。　But　in　both　of　Josephine's　worlds；　she　felt　lonely。　She　was　afraid　to　talk　to　her　mother　about　her　headaches　and　her　fear　of　God　because　her　mother　had　bee　a　brooding　fanatic；　obsessed　with　God's　punishment；　weling　it。　Josephine　did　not　want　to　discuss　her　fears　with　the　Oil　Children　because　they　expected　her　to　be　bright　and　gay；　as　they　were。　And　so；　Josephine　was　forced　to　keep　her　terrors　to　herself。　
　On　Josephine's　seventh　birthday；　Brubaker's　Department　Store　announced　a　photographic　contest　for　the　Most　Beautiful　Child　in　Odessa。　The　entry　picture　had　to　be　taken　in　a　photograph　department　of　the　store。　The　prize　was　a　gold　cup　inscribed　with　the　name　of　she　winner。　The　cup　was　placed　in　the　department…store　window；　and　Josephine　used　to　e　by　the　window　every　day　to　stare　at　it。　She　wanted　it　more　than　she　had　ever　wanted　anything　in　her　life。　
　Josephine's　mother　would　not　let　her　enter　the　contest　　〃Vanity　is　the　devil's　mirror；''　she　said　　but　one　of　the　Oil　Women　who　liked　Josephine　paid　for　her　picture。　From　that　moment　on；　Josephine　knew　that　the　gold　cup　was　hers。　She　could　visualize　it　sitting　on　her　dresser。　She　would　polish　it　carefully　every　day。　When　Josephine　found　out　that　she　was　in　the　finals；　she　was　too　excited　to　go　to　school。　She　stayed　in　bed　all　day　with　an　upset　stomach；　her　happiness　too　much　for　her　to　bear。　This　would　be　the　first　time　that　she　had　owned　anything　beautiful。　The　following　day　Josephine　learned　that　the　contest　had　been　won　by　Tina　Hudson；　one　of　the　Oil　Children。　Tina　was　not　nearly　as　beautiful　as　Josephine；　but　Tina's　father　happened　to　be　on　the　board　of　directors　of　the　chain　that　owned　Brubaker's　Department　Store。　
　When　Josephine　heard　the　news；　she　developed　a　headache　that　made　her　want　to　scream　with　pain。　She　was　afraid　for　God　to　know　how　much　that　beautiful　gold　cup　meant　to　her；　but　He　must　have　known　because　her　headaches　continued。　At　night　she　would　cry　into　her　pillow；　so　that　her　mother　could　not　hear　her。　
　A　few　days　after　the　contest　ended；　Josephine　was　invited　to　Tina's　home　for　a　weekend。　The　gold　cup　was　sitting　in　Tina's　room　on　a　mantel。　Josephine　stared　at　it　for　a　long　time。　When　Josephine　returned　home；　the　cup　was　hidden　in　her　overnight　case。　It　was　still　there　when　Tina's　mother　came　by　for　it　and　took　it　back。　Josephine's　mother　gave　her　a　hard　whipping　with　a　switch　made　from　a　long；　green　twig。　But　Josephine　was　not　angry　with　her　mother。　The　few　minutes　Josephine　had　held　the　beautiful　gold　cup　in　her　hands　had　been　worth　all　the　pain。　
　
　Hollywood；　California；　in　1946；　was　the　film　capital　of　the　world；　a　magnet　for　the　talented；　the　greedy；　the　beautiful；　the　hopeful　and　the　weird。　It　was　the　land　of　palm　trees　and　Rita　Hayworth　and　the