hr.thecarpetbaggers-第107部分

按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！


　She'd　never　believe　he　hadn't　been　out　on　a　drunk；　and　the　ironic　thing　was　that　he　hadn't　so　much　as　taken　one　glass　of　beer。
　
　4
　
　〃ARE　YE　GOIN'　TO　BE　SITTIN'　THERE　ALL　DAY　READING　THE　NEWSPAPERS；　STUDYIN'　WHAT　KIND　OF　A　JOB　WOULD　SUIT　YOUR　HIGHNESS　BEST？〃　ELLEN　DENTON　ASKED　CAUSTICALLY。
　Her　face　was　grim　as　she　wrapped　Jennie's　lunch　in　a　piece　of　wax　paper。　Tom　didn't　speak；　looking　down　at　the　paper　again　as　Jennie　came　into　the　room。　〃Good　morning；　Mom；〃　she　said　brightly。　〃Morning；　Daddy。〃
　〃Good　morning；　Jennie　Bear；〃　he　said；　smiling　at　her。　〃How's　my　Winnie　Winkle　this　morning？〃
　〃Just　fine；　Daddy。〃　It　was　a　private　joke　between　them。　He'd　called　her　that　when　she　got　a　job　as　a　typist　in　the　insurance　pany　last　month。　It　had　been　just　five　weeks　after　he'd　lost　his　job　on　the　cable　cars　and　two　weeks　after　she　graduated　from　Mercy　High　School。
　〃You're　the　Winnie　Winkle；〃　he'd　said。　〃But　I'll　get　something　in　a　few　weeks。　Then　you'll　be　able　to　go　to　St。　Mary's；　like　you　planned。〃
　〃Ye　have　too　much　lipstick　on；　Jennie；〃　her　mother　said。　〃Best　take　some　of　it　off。〃
　Tom　looked　at　his　daughter。　She　didn't　have　that　much　lipstick　on。　It　was　much　less　than　most　of　the　girls　wore　whom　he　used　to　see　every　morning　on　the　cable　car。
　〃Oh；　Mother。〃　Jennie　protested。　〃I'm　working　in　an　office　now；　not　going　to　school。　I　have　to　look　decent。〃
　〃Decent　ye　should　look；　not　painted。〃
　〃Aw；　Ellen；　leave　the　girl　alone；〃　Tom　said　slowly。
　Ellen　glared　angrily　at　him。　〃When　you're　bringin'　home　some　of　the　money　to　feed　your　family；　then　ye　can　talk。〃
　Tom　stared　at　her；　his　face　setting　grimly。　He　could　feel　the　color　draining　from　it。　Jennie　smiled　sympathetically　at　him　and　that　made　it　even　worse。　He　never　expected　Jennie　to　be　pitying　him。　He　tightened　his　lips　against　a　flood　of　angry　words。
　〃Golly；　I'm　going　to　be　late；〃　Jennie　said；　jumping　to　her　feet。　She　snatched　at　the　paper　bag　on　the　table　and　started　for　the　door。　〃　'By；　Mom；〃　she　said　over　her　shoulder。　〃　'By；　Daddy。　Good　luck　today。〃
　Tom　could　hear　her　footsteps　running　down　the　stairs。　He　looked　down　at　the　paper　again。　〃Could　I　have　another　cup　of　coffee？〃
　〃No；　one　cup　is　all　ye　get。　How　much　coffee　d'ye　think　we　can　afford　on　the　child's　eleven　dollars　a　week？〃
　〃But　you　have　the　coffee　right　there。　It's　already　made。〃
　〃It's　for　warming　again　tomorrow　mornin'；〃　she　said。
　He　folded　the　paper　carefully；　got　up　and　walked　into　the　bathroom。　He　turned　on　the　tap　and　let　the　water　run　as　he　took　down　his　shaving　brush　and　razor。　He　held　his　hand　under　the　tap。　The　water　was　still　cold。　〃Ellen；　there's　no　hot　water　for　my　shave。〃
　〃Use　the　cold；　then；〃　she　called。　〃Unless　ye　have　a　quarter　for　the　gas　meter。　I'm　savin'　the　gas　we　have　left　for　the　child's　bath。〃
　He　looked　at　himself　in　the　mirror。　His　face　had　healed　from　the　beating；　but　his　nose　was　a　little　crooked　now　and　there　were　broken　edges　on　his　two　front　teeth。　He　put　down　the　brush　and　walked　into　the　kitchen。
　Ellen's　back　was　still　toward　him。　He　put　his　hands　on　her　shoulders　and　turned　her　around。　〃Ellen；　Ellen；〃　he　said　gently。　〃What's　happened　to　us？〃
　She　stared　up　into　his　face　for　a　moment；　then　reached　up　and　pushed　his　hands　from　her　shoulders。　〃Don't　touch　me；　Thomas　Denton。　Don't　touch　me。〃
　His　voice　was　resigned。　〃Why；　Ellen；　why？　It's　not　my　fault　what　happened。　It　was　God's　will。〃
　〃God's　will？〃　She　laughed　shrilly。　〃You're　the　one　to　be　talkin'　of　God's　will。　Him　that　hasn't　been　in　the　church　for　more　years　than　I　can　remember。　If　ye　thought　more　of　your　Saviour　than　you　did　of　your　Saturday…night　beer。　He'd　have　shown　ye　some　of　His　mercy。〃
　He　took　a　deep　breath　and　let　it　out　slowly。　Then　he　turned；　went　back　into　the　bathroom　and　began　to　shave　with　the　cold　water。　She　hadn't　always　been　like　this　…　sharp…tongued　and　acid…touched。　And　fanatical　about　the　church　and　the　priests。　Once；　she'd　been　Ellen　Fitzgerald；　with　laughing　eyes　and　dancing　feet；　and　he　remembered　her　at　the　Irish　Ballroom　on　Day　Street　the　time　he　first　met　her。
　She　was　the　prettiest　girl　on　the　floor　that　night；　with　her　dark…brown　hair　and　blue　eyes　and　tiny　feet。　That　was　in　1912　and　they　were　married　the　next　year。　A　year　after　that；　Jennie　had　been　born。
　He　was　a　motorman　with　the　car　line　even　then；　and　when　he　came　back　from　the　war；　they　moved　into　this　apartment。　A　year　later；　a　son　was　born。
　Poor　tiny　little　Tommy。　The　world　was　not　long　for　him　and　when　he　was　two　years　old；　they　laid　him　to　rest　in　Calvary　Cemetery。　Jennie　was　eight　then　and　barely　understood　what　had　happened　to　her　brother；　but　Ellen　found　her　solace　in　the　quiet　of　the　church；　and　every　day　she　took　her　daughter　there　with　her。　At　first；　he　didn't　pay　much　attention。　Ellen's　overattachment　to　her　church　was　only　natural；　it　would　wear　off　soon　enough。
　But　it　didn't。　He　found　that　out　one　night；　when　he　reached　for　her　in　the　bed　and　found　her　cold　and　unresponsive。　He　felt　for　her　breast　inside　the　heavy　cotton　nightgown　but　she　turned　her　back　to　him。　〃You've　not　made　your　confession　in　months。　I'll　not　have　ye　planting　another　child　in　me。〃
　He　tried　to　make　a　joke　of　it。　〃Who　wants　to　make　a　baby？　All　I　want　is　a　bit　of　lovin'。〃
　〃That's　even　worse；　then；〃　she　said；　her　voice　muffled　by　the　pillow。　〃It's　sinful　and　I'll　share　no　part　of　that　sin。〃
　〃Is　that　what　the　priests　have　been　dunning　into　your　ears？　To　deny　your　husband？〃
　She　didn't　answer。　He　gripped　her　shoulder　and　forced　her　to　turn　toward　him。　〃Is　that　it？〃　he　asked　fiercely。
　〃The　priests　have　told　me　nothing。　What　I　do　is　of　me　own　doing。　I　know　the　Book　enough　to　know　right　from　wrong。　And　stop　your　shouting。　You'll　be　waking　Jennie　in　the　next　room。〃
　〃I'll　stop　shouting；〃　he　said　angrily；　as　the　heat　of　her　shoulder　came　warm　into　his　hands　and　the　fever　rose　up　in　him　and　he　took　her　by　force。　The　spasm　shook　him　and　he　subsided　into　a　heavy…breathing　quiet　atop　her；　his　eyes　staring　into　hers。
　She　looked　up　at　him　quietly；　not　moving；　passive　as　she　had　been　all　through　his　assault　upon　her。　A　last　shiver　drained　his　vitals。　Then　she　spoke。　Her　voice　was　calm　and　distant　and　detached；　as　if　he　weren't　there　at　all。　〃Are　ye　all　through　spending　your　filth　in　me？〃
　He　felt　a　cold　sickness　rising　in　his　stomach。　He　stared　at　her　for　a　moment　more；　then　rolled　off　her　onto　his　side　of　the　bed。　〃I'm　all　through；〃　he　said　tonelessly。
　She　got　out　of　the　bed　and　knelt　beside　the　tiny　crèche　she　had　placed　beneath　the　crucifix。　He　could　sense　her　face　turning　toward　him　in　the　darkness。　〃I　shall　pray　to　the　Virgin　Mother　that　your　seed　has　found　no　home　in　me；〃　she　whispered　harshly。
　He　closed　his　eyes　and　turned　his　back。　This　was　what　they'd　done　to　her；　spoiled　everything　between　them。　A　bitterness　began　to　gall　him。
　He　never　set　foot　in　a　church　again。
　
　5
　
　IT　WAS　QUIET　HERE　IN　THE　NAVE　OF　THE　CHURCH。　Ellen　Denton；　on　her　knees　before　the　holy　statuary；　her　head　bowed　and　her　beads　threaded　through　her　clasped　fingers；　was　at　peace。　There　was　no　prayer　on　her　lips；　no　disturbing　thoughts　in　her　mind　…　only　a　calm；　delicious　emptiness。　It　permeated　her　whole　being　and　closed　off　the　world；　beyond　the　forting　walls。
　The　sins　of　omission；　which　plagued　her　hours　while　she　was　outside　these　walls；　were　but　faint　distant　echoes。　Little　Tommy　lay　quiet　in　his　grave；　no　reproach　on　his　tiny　rosebud　lips；　for　her　neglect　during　his　illness。　No　memories　rose　to　torture　her　of　her　white；　naked　body；　writhing　in　passion　and　pleasure；　while　her　son　lay　dying　in　the　same　room。
　It　had　seemed　just　a　tiny　cold；　a　cold　such　as　children　have　so　often　and　awaken　free　from　in　the　morning。　How　was　she　to　know　that　while　she　lay　there；　whispering　her　delight　into　her　husband's　ear；　a　minute　piece　of　phlegm　had　lodged　in　her　son's　throat；　shutting　off　the　air　from　his　lungs？　So　that；　when　she　got　up　to　adjust　his　covers；　as　she　usually　did　before　she　closed　her　eyes　for　the　night；　she　found　him　strangely　cold　and　already　blue。　How　was　she　to　know　that　this　was　to　be　her　punishment　for　her　own　sins？
　Father　Hadley　had　tried　to　fort　her　in　her　grief。　〃Do　not　blame　yourself；　my　child。　The　Lord　giveth；　the　Lord　taketh　away。　His　will　be　done。〃
　But　she'd　known　better。　The　memory　of　her　joy　in　her　sin　was　still　too　strong　within　her；　though　she　sought　to　free　her　soul　of　its　burden　by　a　thousand　visits　to　the　confessional。　But　all　the　soothing　words　of　the　priests　brought　no　solace　to　her　soul。　Her　guilt　was　her　own　and　only　she；　herself；　could　expunge　it。　But　here；　in　the　quiet　peace　of　the　nave；　beneath　the　silent；　sorrowing　Virgin；　there　was　calmness　and　emptiness　and　oblivion。
　
　Johnny　Burke　was　bored。　He　took　a　last　drag　on　the　butt　and　spun　it　out　into　the　gutter。　The　pimply…faced　boy　next　to　him　said；　〃Let's　go　over　and　see　if　Tessie　is　busy。〃
　〃Tessie　is　always　busy。　Besides；　I　hear　she　give　a　feller　a　dose。　I　ain't　takin'　any　chances。〃　Johnny　took　out　another　cigarette　and　lit　it；　his　eyes　nervously　looking　up　the　street。　〃Just　for　once；　I'd　like　to　get　me　a　dame　that　nobody　else　has　banged。〃
　〃How　yuh　goin'　do　that；　Johnny？〃
　〃There　are　ways；　Andy；〃　Johnny　said　mysteriously。　〃There　are　ways。〃
　Andy　looked　at　him　interestedly。　〃You　talk　like　yuh　know。〃
　Johnny　nodded。　He　tapped　his　pocket。　〃I　got　a　little　somethin'　in　here　that'll　make　any　girl　put　out。〃
　〃Yeah；　Johnny？〃　Andy　asked　quickly。　〃What？〃
　Johnny　lowered　his　voice　carefully。　〃Mosca　cantharides。〃
　〃What's　that？〃
　〃Spanish　fly；　yuh　dope；〃　Johnny　said。　〃I　stole　some　when　Doc　asked　me　to　watch　the　store　while　he　went　upstairs。〃
　〃Gee；〃　Andy　said；　impressed。　〃Will　it　work　on　any　girl？〃
　Johnny　nodded。　〃Sure。　If　yuh　can　slip　it　into　her　drink。　Just　a　little　an'　she's　as　hot　as　a　biscuit　right　out　of　the　oven。〃
　The　druggist　stuck　his　head　out　of　the　doorway。　〃Johnny；　watch　the　store　for　me；　will　you？　I　want　to　run　upstairs　a　minute。〃
　〃O。K。；　Doc。〃
　They　watched　him　turn　into　the　entrance　next　door；　then　went　into　the　drugstore。　Johnny　walked　behind　the　counter　and　leaned　carelessly　against　the　cash　register。
　〃How　about　a　Coke；　Johnny？〃
　〃Uh…uh；〃　Johnny　said。　〃No　handouts　while　I'm