hr.thecarpetbaggers-第49部分

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　〃You　don't　know　my　father。　Back　in　Boston；　they　don't　ever　think　about　things　like　that。〃
　〃What　does　he　think　she　is？〃
　〃What　she　has　always　been；〃　she　answered。　〃My　teacher；　my　panion。〃
　He　laughed　shortly。　〃She　has　been　your　teacher；　yes。〃
　〃Oh；　Jacques；〃　she　said　in　a　hurt　voice。　〃Don't　spoil　everything　now。　Why　can't　we　go　on　like　this？〃
　He　looked　at　her。　〃Then　you　won't　move　in　here？〃
　〃I　can't；〃　she　said。　〃Don't　you　understand；　I　can't。〃
　He　got　to　his　feet；　and　walked　back　to　the　dresser。　He　finished　buttoning　his　shirt　and　picked　up　his　tie。
　〃I　don't　see　what　difference　it　would　make。　After　all；　you're　married。　How　much　time　do　you　think　you　could　spend　here；　anyway？〃
　He　studied　her。　〃That　is　different；〃　he　said　coldly。
　〃Different？〃　she　shouted　in　anger。　〃Why　is　it　different　for　you　and　not　for　me？〃
　He　stared　at　her。　〃A　man　may　be　unfaithful　to　his　wife；　as　she　may　to　him　if　she　is　so　minded。　But　a　man　is　never　unfaithful　to　his　mistress；　nor　is　a　woman　unfaithful　to　her　lover。〃
　〃But　Peggy　is　not　a　man！〃
　〃No；　she　is　not；〃　he　said　grimly。　〃She　is　something　worse　than　a　man。〃
　Rina　looked　at　him　for　a　moment。　She　drew　her　head　up　proudly。　〃Those　are　your　terms？〃　she　asked　quietly。
　She　sat　there　proudly；　her　back　straight；　her　naked　breasts　magnificent　over　her　deep　chest。　He　could　see　the　outlines　of　her　ribs　against　her　flesh　as　they　rose　and　fell　with　her　breath。　Never　in　my　life　have　I　known　so　much　beauty；　he　thought。　Aloud　he　said；　〃If　that's　the　way　you　put　it；　those　are　my　terms。〃
　She　didn't　answer。
　〃I　just　don't　understand；〃　she　said。　She　looked　up　at　him。　〃You　had　better　hand　me　my　dress。〃
　That　had　been　many　months　ago　and　oddly　enough；　they　still　remained　friends。　She　raised　the　Pernod　to　her　lips　and　emptied　her　glass。　〃And　now　I　really　must　go；〃　she　said。　〃I　promised　Pavan　I　would　be　at　his　studio　by　three　o'clock。〃
　He　raised　an　eyebrow。　〃Pavan？　You　have　taken　up　sculpting？〃
　She　shook　her　head。　〃No；　I'm　modeling　for　him。〃
　Jacques　knew　how　Pavan　worked。　He　used　many　models　for　just　one　statue。　He　was　always　trying　to　create　the　ideal。　He　would　never　succeed。
　She　felt　his　quizzical　gaze　sweep　down　to　her　breasts。　She　laughed。　〃No；　it's　not　what　you　think。〃
　〃No？〃　he　asked。　〃Why　not？〃
　〃He　says　they're　too　large。〃
　〃He　is　mad；〃　Jacques　said　quickly。　〃But　then；　all　artists　are　mad。　What　is　it；　then？〃
　She　got　to　her　feet。　〃My　pubis；〃　she　said。
　For　the　first　time　since　she　had　known　him；　he　was　speechless。
　She　laughed。
　He　found　his　voice。　〃But　why？〃
　〃Because　it's　the　highest　mountain　any　man　will　ever　climb；　he　says；　and　more　men　will　die　trying　to　climb　it　than　ever　fell　from　Mount　Everest。〃　She　smiled　and　bent　over　him。　〃But　we　won't　tell　him　that　you　survived　the　ascent；　will　we；　Jacques？〃
　She　kissed　his　cheek　quickly　and　turned　and　walked　out　onto　the　sidewalk。　He　watched　her　until　she　was　lost　in　the　crowded　street；　then　turned　back　to　the　waiter。　〃Psst！〃　he　said。　〃I　think　I　will　have　another　drink！〃
　
　11
　SHE　HURRIED　PAST　THE　POLITE　GREETING　OF　the　concierge；　up　the　three　narrow　flights　of　the　staircase。　She'd　stayed　at　the　studio　later　than　she　thought。　There　would　be　just　enough　time　to　prepare　dinner　before　Peggy　got　home。
　Rina　went　through　the　tiny　living　room　into　the　kitchen。　Swiftly　she　lit　the　gas　under　the　hot…water　heater　for　the　tub　and　with　the　same　match；　the　oven；　leaving　the　flame　low。　She　took　the　small；　browned　chicken　she'd　just　purchased；　already　cooked；　at　the　corner　rotisserie　and　put　it　into　a　pan　and　into　the　oven　to　keep　warm。　Rapidly　she　sliced　bread　from　a　long　loaf；　arranged　it　next　to　a　large　piece　of　cheese　and　began　to　set　the　table。　In　a　few　minutes；　she　was　finished。
　She　looked　down　at　her　watch。　There　would　even　be　time　enough　for　a　bath　if　the　water　was　hot　enough。　She　walked　over　and　felt　the　tank。　It　was　lukewarm。　There　would　be　enough　if　she　didn't　fill　the　tub　more　than　half　full。
　She　walked　back　into　the　living　room　on　her　way　to　the　bathroom；　her　fingers　already　busy　with　the　buttons　of　her　blouse。　The　door　opened　and　she　turned　toward　it。　〃You're　early；〃　she　said。
　Peggy　looked　at　her　coldly　and　without　answering；　she　closed　the　door　behind　her。　Rina　shrugged　her　shoulders。　Peggy　had　these　moods。　One　moment；　she'd　be　bright；　warm　and　gay；　the　next　cold；　even　sullen。　It　would　pass。　〃There's　some　wine　and　cheese　on　the　table　if　you'd　like　something　before　dinner；〃　she　said；　starting　for　the　bathroom　again。
　Peggy's　hand　spun　her　around。　〃I　thought　I　told　you　not　to　see　Deschamps　again！〃
　Rina　stared　at　her。　So　that　was　it。　Someone　must　have　seen　them　at　the　restaurant　and　told　Peggy。　Strange　that　of　all　the　men　they　knew；　Peggy　was　jealous　of　none　except　Jacques。　The　younger　men　never　upset　her；　but　Jacques；　with　his　curious；　confident　smile　and　the　bright…gray　hair　at　his　temples；　always　managed　to　upset　her。
　〃I　just　ran　into　him　and　he　invited　me　to　lunch；〃　she　said。　It　wasn't　that　she　was　afraid　of　Peggy's　jealous　rages　but　she　didn't　feel　like　having　a　quarrel。　〃I　just　couldn't　be　rude。〃
　〃Then　where　were　you　all　afternoon？〃　Peggy　demanded。　〃You　weren't　at　art　school；　you　weren't　home。　I　kept　calling　both　places　until　I　became　frantic　with　worry。〃
　〃I　didn't　feel　like　going　to　school；〃　she　said。
　Peggy's　eyes　squinted　at　her。　〃You　didn't　walk　over　to　his　apartment；　by　any　chance？〃
　Rina　stared　back　at　her。　〃No；　I　didn't。〃
　〃He　was　seen　entering　his　apartment　with　a　blonde　about　four　o'clock。〃
　Rina　raised　an　eyebrow。　Jacques　hadn't　wasted　any　time。　〃I'm　not　the　only　blonde　in　Paris；〃　she　said。
　〃He　didn't　answer　his　phone；〃　Peggy　said　accusingly。
　Rina　smiled。　〃I　can't　say　that　I　blame　him；　do　you？〃
　Peggy's　hand　slashed　across　Rina's　face。　〃You're　lying！〃
　Rina's　hand　flew　to　her　cheek。　She　stared　at　Peggy。
　The　other　side　of　her　face　flamed　as　Peggy　slapped　her　again。　She　grabbed　Rina's　shoulders　and　began　to　shake　her。　〃Now　I　want　the　truth！〃
　〃I　told　you　the　truth！〃　Rina　screamed。　She　struck　out　at　Peggy　wildly。
　Peggy　fell　back　in　surprise　at　the　sudden　onslaught。　A　hurt　expression　came　over　her　face。　〃Why　do　you　do　these　things　to　me　when　you　know　I　love　you　so　much？〃
　Rina　stared　at　her。　For　the　first　time；　a　feeling　of　revulsion　swept　over　her。　First　for　Peggy；　then　for　herself。
　Almost　instantly；　Peggy　threw　herself　to　her　knees；　her　arms　clasped　around　Rina's　thighs。　〃Please；　please；　darling；　don't　look　at　me　like　that。　Don't　be　angry　with　me。　I'm　sorry。　I　was　crazy　jealous。〃
　Rina's　face　ached　where　it　had　been　slapped。　Suddenly；　she　was　tired。　〃Don't　do　that　again　…　ever；〃　she　said　wearily。
　〃I　won't；　I　won't；〃　Peggy　promised　wildly。　〃It's　just　that　I　can't　bear　to　think　of　that　lecher　getting　his　filthy　hands　on　you　again。〃
　〃He's　not　a　lecher；　he's　a　man；〃　Rina　said。　She　looked　down　at　Peggy。　A　faint　note　of　contempt　came　into　her　voice。　〃A　real　man。　Not　an　imitation！〃
　〃I　have　shown　you　more　than　you　would　learn　from　all　the　men　in　the　world。〃
　A　sudden　knowledge　came　to　Rina　…　the　first　faint　revelation　of　self…truth。　A　cold　fright　ran　through　her。　She　looked　down　at　the　dark…brown　head　pressed　against　the　front　of　her　skirt。
　〃That's　what's　wrong。　You're　so　anxious　to　show　me　love；　to　teach　me　love。　But　it's　all　from　the　outside　in。　Why　can't　you　teach　me　to　feel　love；　to　give　love？〃　Slowly　she　pushed　Peggy　away　from　her。　And　then；　for　the　lack　of　a　better　place　to　do　it；　she　dropped　to　her　knees　and　turned　her　face　into　Peggy's　bosom　and　began　to　cry。
　〃Cry；　lover；　cry；〃　Peggy　whispered。　〃Cry　it　all　out。　I'll　always　take　care　of　you。　That's　what　love　is　for。〃
　
　It　was　early　when　Amru　Singh　arrived　at　the　party　that　Pavan　was　giving　to　celebrate　the　unveiling　of　his　master　statue。　It　was　about　six　o'clock　when　Amru　Singh　made　his　obeisance　to　his　host；　politely　refused　a　drink　and　took　his　usual　place　against　the　wall　in　the　empty　room。
　As　was　his　habit；　he　took　off　his　shirt　and　folded　it　neatly　and　placed　it　on　the　floor。　Then　he　took　off　his　shoes　…　he　wore　no　socks　…　and　placed　them　next　to　the　shirt。　He　took　a　very　deep　breath　and　placing　his　back　against　the　wall；　slid　down　until　he　was　seated　squarely　on　the　shirt　with　his　legs　crossed　beneath　him。
　It　was　thus　that　he　could　observe；　without　turning　his　head；　the　actions　of　every　person　in　the　room。　It　was　also　from　this　position　that　he　could　most　easily　fill　his　mind。　He　thought　about　many　things；　but　mostly　about　the　vanities　and　ambitions　of　man。　Amru　Singh　was　seeking　a　man　whose　vanities　and　ambitions　transcended　the　personal；　aspiring　only　to　the　glory　that　had　been　buried　by　the　centuries　deep　in　the　human　spirit。　That　he　had　not　yet　found　such　a　man　did　not　discourage　him。
　He　felt　his　muscles　lock　in　the　familiar　tension　which　was　at　the　same　time　relaxed　and　forting；　he　felt　his　breathing　bee　slower；　shallower。　He　closed　off　a　corner　of　his　mind　for　a　few　minutes；　though　his　eyes　remained　open　and　alert。　It　could　be　any　night；　perhaps　tonight；　that　his　search　would　be　ended。
　But　he　could　already　feel　the　evil　spirit　of　the　goddess　Kali　unleashed　in　the　room。　With　an　inward　shrug　of　his　shoulders；　he　cast　from　him　the　feeling　of　disappointment。　There　were　so　many　little　people　in　the　room。
　On　the　floor；　in　the　corner　behind　the　big　sofa；　a　man　and　a　woman　were　mitting　an　act　of　fornication；　hidden；　or　so　they　thought；　from　the　others。　He　thought　of　the　positions　of　obscenity　carved　high　into　the　walls　of　the　temple　of　the　goddess　and　felt　a　distaste　seep　through　him。　This　ugly　copulation；　which　he　could　observe　through　the　space　between　the　high　Regency　legs　of　the　couch；　was　not　justified　by　even　a　holy　worship　of　the　evil　one。
　In　a　niche　near　the　door；　with　a　single　light　shining　down　on　it　from　above；　stood　the　draped　statue　on　a　pedestal。　It　stood　there　very　still；　like　a　corpse　in　a　shroud；　and　did　not　even　stir　when　the　door　opened　for　two　newly　entered　guests。　Without　moving　his　eyes；　Amru　knew　them。　The　blond　American　girl　and　her　friend；　the　dark　woman。　He　closed　his　mind　to　them　as　the　clock　began　to　toll　the　hour　and　Pavan　began　his　speech。
　It　was　nothing　but　a　repetition　of　what　he　had　been　saying　all　evening；　a