mc.prey-第14部分

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with　no　practical　application；　no　jobs　except　in　universities。　In　those　days　population　biology　was　being　revolutionized　by　field　studies　of　animals；　and　by　advances　in　genetic　screening。　Both　required　puter　analysis；　using　advanced　mathematical　algorithms。　I　couldn't　find　the　kind　of　programs　I　needed　for　my　research；　so　I　began　to　write　them　myself。　And　I　slid　sideways　into　puter　science…another　geeky；　purely　academic　field。
　But　my　graduation　just　happened　to　coincide　with　the　rise　of　Silicon　Valley　and　the　personal…puter　explosion。　Low…number　employees　at　startup　panies　were　making　a　fortune　in　the　eighties；　and　I　did　pretty　well　at　the　first　one　I　worked　for。　I　met　Julia；　and　we　got　married；　had　kids。　Everything　was　smooth。　We　were　both　doing　great；　just　by　showing　up　for　work。　I　got　hired　away　by　another　pany；　more　perks；　bigger　options。　I　just　rode　the　advancing　wave　into　the　nineties。　By　then　I　wasn't　programming　anymore；　I　was　supervising　software　development。　And　things　just　fell　into　place　for　me；　without　any　real　effort　on　my　part。　I　just　fell　into　my　life。　I　never　had　to　prove　myself。
　That's　Ellen's　idea　of　me。　My　idea　is　different。　The　panies　of　Silicon　Valley　are　the　most　intensely　petitive　in　the　history　of　the　planet。　Everybody　works　a　hundred　hours　a　week。　Everybody　is　racing　against　milestones。　Everybody　is　cutting　development　cycles。　The　cycles　were　originally　three　years　to　a　new　product；　a　new　version。　Then　it　was　two　years。　Then　eighteen　months。　Now　it　was　twelve　months…a　new　version　every　year。　If　you　figure　beta　debugging　to　golden　master　takes　four　months；　then　you　have　only　eight　months　to　do　the　actual　work。　Eight　months　to　revise　ten　million　lines　of　code；　and　make　sure　it　all　works　right。　In　short；　Silicon　Valley　is　no　place　for　a　passive　person；　and　I'm　not　one。　I　hustled　my　ass　off　every　minute　of　every　day。　I　had　to　prove　myself　every　day…or　I'd　be　gone。　That　was　my　idea　about　myself。　I　was　sure　I　was　right。
　Ellen　was　right　about　one　part；　though。　A　strong　streak　of　luck　ran　through　my　career。　Because　my　original　field　of　study　had　been　biology；　I　had　an　advantage　when　puter　programs　began　to　explicitly　mimic　biological　systems。　In　fact；　there　were　programmers　who　shuttled　back　and　forth　between　puter　simulation　and　studies　of　animal　groups　in　the　wild；　applying　the　lessons　of　one　to　the　other。
　But　further；　I　had　worked　in　population　biology…the　study　of　groups　of　living　organisms。　And　puter　science　had　evolved　in　the　direction　of　massively　parallel　networked　structures…the　programming　of　populations　of　intelligent　agents。　A　special　kind　of　thinking　was　required　to　handle　populations　of　agents；　and　I　had　been　trained　in　that　thinking　for　years。　So　I　was　admirably　suited　to　the　trends　of　my　field；　and　I　made　excellent　progress　as　the　fields　emerged。　I　had　been　in　the　right　place　at　the　right　time。
　That　much　was　true。
　Agent…based　programs　that　modeled　biological　populations　were　increasingly　important　in　the　real　world。　Like　my　own　programs　that　mimicked　ant　foraging　to　control　big　munications　networks。　Or　programs　that　mimicked　division　of　labor　among　termite　colonies　to　control　thermostats　in　a　skyscraper。　And　closely　related　were　the　programs　that　mimicked　genetic　selection；　used　for　a　wide　range　of　applications。　In　one　program；　witnesses　to　a　crime　were　shown　nine　faces　and　asked　to　choose　which　was　most　like　the　criminal；　even　if　none　really　were；　the　program　then　showed　them　nine　more　faces；　and　asked　them　to　choose　again；　and　from　many　repeated　generations　the　program　slowly　evolved　a　highly　accurate　posite　picture　of　the　face；　far　more　accurate　than　any　police　artist　could　make。　Witnesses　never　had　to　say　what　exactly　they　were　responding　to　in　each　face；　they　just　chose；　and　the　program　evolved。
　And　then　there　were　the　biotech　panies；　which　had　found　they　could　not　successfully　engineer　new　proteins　because　the　proteins　tended　to　fold　up　weirdly。　So　now　they　used　genetic　selection　to　〃evolve〃　the　new　proteins　instead。　All　these　procedures　had　bee　standard　practice　in　a　matter　of　just　a　few　years。　And　they　were　increasingly　powerful；　increasingly　important。
　So；　yes；　I　had　been　in　the　right　place　at　the　right　time。　But　I　wasn't　passive；　I　was　lucky。　I　hadn't　showered　or　shaved　yet。　I　went　in　the　bathroom；　stripped　off　my　T…shirt；　and　stared　at　myself　in　the　mirror。　I　was　startled　to　see　how　soft　I　looked　around　the　gut。　I　hadn't　realized。　Of　course　I　was　forty；　and　the　fact　was；　I　hadn't　been　exercising　as　much　lately。　Not　because　I　was　depressed。　I　was　busy　with　the　kids；　and　tired　a　lot　of　the　time。　I　just　didn't　feel　like　exercising；　that　was　all。
　I　stared　at　my　own　reflection；　and　wondered　if　Ellen　was　right。
　There's　one　problem　with　all　psychological　knowledge…nobody　can　apply　it　to　themselves。　People　can　be　incredibly　astute　about　the　shortings　of　their　friends；　spouses；　children。　But　they　have　no　insight　into　themselves　at　all。　The　same　people　who　are　coldly　clear…eyed　about　the　world　around　them　have　nothing　but　fantasies　about　themselves。　Psychological　knowledge　doesn't　work　if　you　look　in　a　mirror。　This　bizarre　fact　is；　as　far　as　I　know；　unexplained。　Personally；　I　always　thought　there　was　a　clue　from　puter　programming；　in　a　procedure　called　recursion。　Recursion　means　making　the　program　loop　back　on　itself；　to　use　its　own　information　to　do　things　over　and　over　until　it　gets　a　result。　You　use　recursion　for　certain　data…sorting　algorithms　and　things　like　that。　But　it's　got　to　be　done　carefully；　or　you　risk　having　the　machine　fall　into　what　is　called　an　infinite　regress。　It's　the　programming　equivalent　of　those　funhouse　mirrors　that　reflect　mirrors；　and　mirrors；　ever　smaller　and　smaller；　stretching　away　to　infinity。　The　program　keeps　going；　repeating　and　repeating；　but　nothing　happens。　The　machine　hangs。
　I　always　figured　something　similar　must　happen　when　people　turn　their　psychological　insight…apparatus　on　themselves。　The　brain　hangs。　The　thought　process　goes　and　goes；　but　it　doesn't　get　anywhere。　It　must　be　something　like　that；　because　we　know　that　people　can　think　about　themselves　indefinitely。　Some　people　think　of　little　else。　Yet　people　never　seem　to　change　as　a　result　of　their　intensive　introspection。　They　never　understand　themselves　better。　It's　very　rare　to　find　genuine　self…knowledge。
　It's　almost　as　if　you　need　someone　else　to　tell　you　who　you　are；　or　to　hold　up　the　mirror　for　you。　Which；　if　you　think　about　it；　is　very　weird。
　Or　maybe　it's　not。
　There's　an　old　question　in　artificial　intelligence　about　whether　a　program　can　ever　be　aware　of　itself。　Most　programmers　will　say　it　was　impossible。　People　have　tried　to　do　it；　and　failed。　But　there's　a　more　fundamental　version　of　the　question；　a　philosophical　question　about　whether　any　machine　can　understand　its　own　workings。　Some　people　say　that's　impossible；　too。　The　machine　can't　know　itself　for　the　same　reason　you　can't　bite　your　own　teeth。　And　it　certainly　seems　to　be　impossible：　the　human　brain　is　the　most　plicated　structure　in　the　known　universe；　but　brains　still　know　very　little　about　themselves。　For　the　last　thirty　years；　such　questions　have　been　fun　to　kick　around　with　a　beer　on　Friday　afternoons　after　work。　They　were　never　taken　seriously。　But　lately　these　philosophical　questions　have　taken　on　new　importance　because　there　has　been　rapid　progress　in　reproducing　certain　brain　functions。　Not　the　entire　brain；　just　certain　functions。　For　example；　before　I　was　fired；　my　development　team　was　using　multi…agent　processing　to　enable　puters　to　learn；　to　recognize　patterns　in　data；　to　understand　natural　languages；　to　prioritize　and　switch　tasks。　What　was　important　about　the　programs　was　that　the　machines　literally　learned。　They　got　better　at　their　jobs　with　experience。　Which　is　more　than　some　human　beings　can　claim。　The　phone　rang。　It　was　Ellen。　〃Did　you　call　your　lawyer？〃
　〃Not　yet。　For　Christ's　sake。〃
　〃I'm　on　the　2：10　to　San　Jose。　I'll　see　you　around　five　at　your　house。〃
　〃Listen；　Ellen；　it　really　isn't　necessary…〃
　〃I　know　that。　I'm　just　getting　out　of　town。　I　need　a　break。　See　you　soon；　Jack。〃　And　she　hung　up。
　So　now　she　was　handling　me。
　In　any　case；　I　figured　there　was　no　point　in　calling　a　lawyer　today。　I　had　too　much　to　do。　The　dry　cleaning　had　to　be　picked　up；　so　I　did　that。　There　was　a　Starbucks　across　the　street；　and　I　went　over　to　get　a　latte　to　take　with　me。
　And　there　was　Gary　Marder；　my　attorney；　with　a　very　young　blonde　in　low…cut　jeans　and　crop　top　that　left　her　belly　exposed。　They　were　nuzzling　each　other　in　the　checkout　line。　She　didn't　look　much　older　than　a　college　student。　I　was　embarrassed　and　was　turning　to　leave　when　Gary　saw　me；　and　waved。
　〃Hey；　Jack。〃
　〃Hi；　Gary。〃
　He　held　out　his　hand；　and　I　shook　it。　He　said；　〃Say　hello　to　Melissa。〃
　I　said；　〃Hi；　Melissa。〃
　〃Oh　hi。〃　She　seemed　vaguely　annoyed　at　this　interruption；　although　I　couldn't　be　sure。　She　had　that　vacant　look　some　young　girls　get　around　men。　It　occurred　to　me　that　she　couldn't　be　more　than　six　years　older　than　Nicole。　What　was　she　doing　with　a　guy　like　Gary？　〃So。　How's　it　going；　Jack？〃　Gary　said；　slipping　his　arm　around　Melissa's　bare　waist。
　〃Okay；〃　I　said。　〃Pretty　good。〃
　〃Yeah？　That's　good。〃　But　he　was　frowning　at　me。
　〃Well；　uh；　yeah　。。。〃　I　stood　there；　hesitating；　feeling　foolish　in　front　of　the　girl。　She　clearly　wanted　me　to　leave。　But　I　was　thinking　of　what　Ellen　would　say：　You　ran　into　your　lawyer　and　you　didn't　even　ask　him？
　So　I　said；　〃Gary；　could　I　speak　to　you　for　a　minute？〃
　〃Of　course。〃　He　gave　the　girl　money　to　pay　for　the　coffee；　and　we　stepped　to　one　side　of　the　room。
　I　lowered　my　voice。　〃Listen；　Gary；〃　I　said；　〃I　think　I　need　to　see　a　divorce　lawyer。〃
　〃Because　what？〃
　〃Because　I　think　Julia　is　having　an　affair。〃
　〃You　think？　Or　you　know　for　a　fact？〃
　〃No。　I　don't　know　for　sure。〃
　〃So　you　just　suspect　it？〃
　〃Yes。〃
　Gary　sighed。　He　gave　me　a　look。
　I　said；　〃And　there's　other　things　going　on；　too。　She's　starting　to　say　that　I　am　turning　the　kids　against　her。〃
　〃Alienation　of　affection；〃　he　said；　nodding。　〃Legal　cliché　du　jour。　She　makes　these　statements　when？〃
　〃When　we　have　fights。〃
　Another　sigh。　〃Jack；　couples　say　all　kinds　of　shit　when　they