mc.prey-第7部分

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s…who　wasn't　crying；　and　was　hardly　sniffling。　〃What　seems　to　be　the　problem？〃
　I　said　we　were　here　for　immunizations。
　〃She's　been　here　before？〃
　Yes；　she　had　been　ing　to　the　doctor　since　she　was　born。
　〃Are　you　related？〃
　Yes；　I　was　the　father。
　Eventually　we　were　ushered　in。　The　doctor　shook　hands　with　me；　was　very　friendly；　never　asked　why　I　was　there　instead　of　my　wife　or　the　housekeeper。　He　gave　two　injections。　Amanda　howled。　I　bounced　her　on　my　shoulder；　forted　her。
　〃She　may　have　a　little　swelling；　a　little　local　redness。　Call　me　if　it's　not　gone　in　forty…eight　hours。〃　Then　I　was　back　in　the　waiting　room；　trying　to　get　out　my　credit　card　to　pay　the　bill　while　the　baby　cried。　And　that　was　when　Julia　called。
　〃Hi。　What're　you　doing？〃　She　must　have　heard　the　baby　screaming。
　〃Paying　the　pediatrician。〃
　〃Bad　time？〃
　〃Kind　of　。。。〃
　〃Okay；　listen；　I　just　wanted　to　say　I　have　an　early　night…finally！…so　I'll　be　home　for　dinner。　What　do　you　say　I　pick　up　on　my　way　home？〃
　〃That'd　be　great；〃　I　said。
　Eric's　soccer　practice　ran　late。　It　was　getting　dark　on　the　field。　The　coach　always　ran　practice　late。　I　paced　the　sidelines；　trying　to　decide　whether　to　plain。　It　was　so　hard　to　know　when　you　were　coddling　your　kid；　and　when　you　were　legitimately　protecting　them。　Nicole　called　on　her　cell　to　say　that　her　play　rehearsal　was　over；　and　why　hadn't　I　picked　her　up？　Where　was　I？　I　said　I　was　still　with　Eric　and　asked　if　she　could　catch　a　ride　with　anybody。
　〃Dad　。。。〃　she　said；　exasperated。　You'd　think　I　had　asked　her　to　crawl　home。
　〃Hey；　I'm　stuck。〃
　Very　sarcastic：　〃Whatever。〃
　〃Watch　that　tone；　young　lady。〃
　But　a　few　minutes　later；　soccer　was　abruptly　canceled。　A　big　green　maintenance　truck　pulled　onto　the　field；　and　two　men　came　out　wearing　masks　and　big　rubber　gloves；　with　spray　cans　on　their　backs。　They　were　going　to　spray　weed　killer　or　something；　and　everybody　had　to　stay　off　the　field　overnight。
　I　called　Nicole　back　and　said　we　would　pick　her　up。
　〃When？〃
　〃We're　on　our　way　now。〃
　〃From　the　little　creep's　practice？〃
　〃e　on；　Nic。〃
　〃Why　does　he　always　e　first？〃
　〃He　doesn't　always　e　first。〃
　〃Yes　he　does。　He's　a　little　creep。〃
　〃Nicole　。。。〃
　〃Sor…ry。〃
　〃See　you　in　a　few　minutes。〃　I　clicked　off。　Kids　are　more　advanced　these　days。　The　teenage　years　now　start　at　eleven。
　By　five…thirty　the　kids　were　home；　raiding　the　fridge。　Nicole　was　eating　a　big　chunk　of　string　cheese。　I　told　her　to　stop；　it　would　ruin　her　dinner。　Then　I　went　back　to　setting　the　table。　〃When　is　dinner？〃
　〃Soon。　Mom's　bringing　it　home。〃
　〃Uh…huh。〃　She　disappeared　for　a　few　minutes；　and　then　she　came　back。　〃She　says　she's　sorry　she　didn't　call；　but　she's　going　to　be　late。〃
　〃What？〃　I　was　pouring　water　into　the　glasses　on　the　table。
　〃She's　sorry　she　didn't　call　but　she's　going　to　be　late。　I　just　talked　to　her。〃
　〃Jesus。〃　It　was　irritating。　I　tried　never　to　show　my　irritation　around　the　kids；　but　sometimes　it　slipped　out。　I　sighed。　〃Okay。〃
　〃I'm　really　hungry　now；　Dad。〃
　〃Get　your　brother　and　get　into　the　car；〃　I　said。　〃We're　going　to　the　drive…in。〃　Later　that　night；　as　I　was　carrying　the　baby　to　bed；　my　elbow　brushed　against　a　photograph　on　the　living…room　bookshelf。　It　clattered　to　the　floor；　I　stooped　to　pick　it　up。　It　was　a　picture　of　Julia　and　Eric　in　Sun　Valley　when　he　was　four。　They　were　both　in　snowsuits；　Julia　was　helping　him　learn　to　ski；　and　smiling　radiantly。　Next　to　it　was　a　photo　of　Julia　and　me　on　our　eleventh　wedding　anniversary　in　Kona；　I　was　in　a　loud　Hawaiian　shirt　and　she　had　colorful　leis　around　her　neck；　and　we　were　kissing　at　sunset。　That　was　a　great　trip；　in　fact；　we　were　pretty　sure　Amanda　was　conceived　there。　I　remember　Julia　came　home　from　work　one　day　and　said；　〃Honey；　remember　how　you　said　mai…tais　were　dangerous？〃　I　said；　〃Yes　。。。〃　And　she　said；　〃Well；　let　me　put　it　this　way。　It's　a　girl；〃　and　I　was　so　startled　the　soda　I　was　drinking　went　up　my　nose；　and　we　both　started　to　laugh。
　Then　a　picture　of　Julia　making　cupcakes　with　Nicole；　who　was　so　young　she　sat　on　the　kitchen　counter　and　her　legs　didn't　reach　the　edge。　She　couldn't　have　been　more　than　a　year　and　a　half　old。　Nicole　was　frowning　with　concentration　as　she　wielded　a　huge　spoon　of　dough；　making　a　fine　mess　while　Julia　tried　not　to　laugh。
　And　a　photo　of　us　hiking　in　Colorado；　Julia　holding　the　hand　of　six…year…old　Nicole　while　I　carried　Eric　on　my　shoulders；　my　shirt　collar　dark　with　sweat…or　worse；　if　I　remembered　that　day　right。　Eric　must　have　been　about　two；　he　was　still　in　diapers。　I　remember　he　thought　it　was　fun　to　cover　my　eyes　while　I　carried　him　on　the　trail。
　The　hiking　photo　had　slipped　inside　its　frame　so　it　stood　at　an　angle。　I　tapped　the　frame　to　try　and　straighten　it；　but　it　didn't　move。　I　noticed　that　several　of　the　other　pictures　were　faded；　or　the　emulsion　was　sticking　to　the　glass。　No　one　had　bothered　to　take　care　of　these　pictures。　The　baby　snuffled　in　my　arms；　rubbing　her　eyes　with　her　fists。　It　was　time　for　bed。　I　put　the　pictures　back　on　the　shelf。　They　were　old　images　from　another；　happier　time。　From　another　life。　They　seemed　to　have　nothing　to　do　with　me；　anymore。　Everything　was　different　now。　The　world　was　different　now。
　I　left　the　table　set　for　dinner　that　night；　a　silent　rebuke。　Julia　saw　it　when　she　got　home　around　ten。　〃I'm　sorry；　hon。〃
　〃I　know　you　were　busy；〃　I　said。
　〃I　was。　Please　forgive　me？〃
　〃I　do；〃　I　said。
　〃You're　the　best。〃　She　blew　me　a　kiss；　from　across　the　room。　〃I'm　going　to　take　a　shower；〃　she　said。　And　she　headed　off　down　the　hallway。　I　watched　her　go。　On　the　way　down　the　hall；　she　looked　into　the　baby's　room；　and　then　darted　in。　A　moment　later；　I　heard　her　cooing　and　the　baby　gurgling。　I　got　out　of　my　chair；　and　walked　down　the　hall　after　her。
　In　the　darkened　nursery；　she　was　holding　the　baby　up；　nuzzling　her　nose。
　I　said；　〃Julia　。。。　you　woke　her　up。〃
　〃No　I　didn't；　she　was　awake。　Weren't　you；　little　honey…bunny？　You　were　awake；　weren't　you；　Poopsie…doopsie？〃
　The　baby　rubbed　her　eyes　with　tiny　fists；　and　yawned。　She　certainly　appeared　to　have　been　awakened。
　Julia　turned　to　me　in　the　darkness。　〃I　didn't。　Really。　I　didn't　wake　her　up。　Why　are　you　looking　at　me　that　way？〃
　〃What　way？〃
　〃You　know　what　way。　That　accusing　way。〃
　〃I'm　not　accusing　you　of　anything。〃
　The　baby　started　to　whimper　and　then　to　cry。　Julia　touched　her　diaper。　〃I　think　she's　wet；〃　she　said；　and　handed　her　to　me　as　she　walked　out　of　the　room。　〃You　do　it；　Mr。　Perfect。〃
　*　*　*
　Now　there　was　tension　between　us。　After　I　changed　the　baby　and　put　her　back　to　bed；　I　heard　Julia　e　out　of　the　shower；　banging　a　door。　Whenever　Julia　started　banging　doors；　it　was　a　sign　for　me　to　e　and　mollify　her。　But　I　didn't　feel　like　it　tonight。　I　was　annoyed　she'd　awakened　the　baby；　and　I　was　annoyed　by　her　unreliability；　saying　she'd　be　home　early　and　never　calling　to　say　she　wouldn't。　I　was　scared　that　she　had　bee　so　unreliable　because　she　was　distracted　by　a　new　love。　Or　she　just　didn't　care　about　her　family　anymore。　I　didn't　know　what　to　do　about　all　this；　but　I　didn't　feel　like　smoothing　the　tension　between　us。　I　just　let　her　bang　the　doors。　She　slammed　her　sliding　closet…door　so　hard　the　wood　cracked。　She　swore。　That　was　another　sign　I　was　supposed　to　e　running。　I　went　back　to　the　living　room；　and　sat　down。　I　picked　up　the　book　I　was　reading；　and　stared　at　the　page。　I　tried　to　concentrate　but　of　course　I　couldn't。　I　was　angry　and　I　listened　to　her　bang　around　in　the　bedroom。　If　she　kept　it　up；　she'd　wake　Eric　and　then　I　would　have　to　deal　with　her。　I　hoped　it　wouldn't　go　that　far。
　Eventually　the　noise　stopped。　She　had　probably　gotten　into　bed。　If　so；　she　would　soon　be　asleep。　Julia　could　go　to　sleep　when　we　were　fighting。　I　never　could；　I　stayed　up；　pacing　and　angry；　trying　to　settle　myself　down。
　When　I　finally　came　to　bed；　Julia　was　fast　asleep。　I　slipped　between　the　covers；　and　rolled　over　on　my　side；　away　from　her。
　It　was　one　o'clock　in　the　morning　when　the　baby　began　to　scream。　I　groped　for　the　light；　knocked　over　the　alarm　clock；　which　turned　the　clock　radio　on；　blaring　rock　and　roll。　I　swore；　fumbled　in　the　dark；　finally　got　the　bedside　light　on；　turned　the　radio　off。　The　baby　was　still　screaming。
　〃What's　the　matter　with　her？〃　Julia　said　sleepily。
　〃I　don't　know。〃　I　got　out　of　bed；　shaking　my　head；　trying　to　wake　up。　I　went　into　the　nursery　and　flicked　on　the　light。　The　room　seemed　very　bright；　the　clown　wallpaper　very　yellow　and　burning。　Out　of　nowhere；　I　thought：　why　doesn't　she　want　yellow　placemats　when　she　painted　the　whole　nursery　yellow？
　The　baby　was　standing　up　in　her　crib；　holding　on　to　the　rails　and　howling；　her　mouth　wide　open；　her　breath　ing　in　jagged　gasps。　Tears　were　running　down　her　cheeks。　I　held　my　arms　out　to　her　and　she　reached　for　me；　and　I　forted　her。　I　thought　it　must　be　a　nightmare。　I　forted　her；　rocked　her　gently。
　She　continued　to　scream；　unrelenting。　Maybe　something　was　hurting　her；　maybe　something　in　her　diaper。　I　checked　her　body。　That　was　when　I　saw　an　angry　red　rash　on　her　belly；　extending　in　welts　around　to　her　back；　and　up　toward　her　neck。
　Julia　came　in。　〃Can't　you　stop　it？〃　she　said。
　I　said；　〃There's　something　wrong；〃　and　I　showed　her　the　rash。
　〃Has　she　got　a　fever？〃
　I　touched　Amanda's　head。　She　was　sweaty　and　hot；　but　that　could　be　from　the　crying。　The　rest　of　her　body　felt　cool。　〃I　don't　know。　I　don't　think　so。〃
　I　could　see　the　rash　on　her　thighs　now。　Was　it　on　her　thighs　a　moment　before？　I　almost　thought　I　was　seeing　it　spread　before　my　eyes。　If　it　was　possible；　the　baby　screamed　even　louder。　〃Jesus；〃　Julia　said。　〃I'll　call　the　doctor。〃
　〃Yeah；　do。〃　By　now　I　had　the　baby　on　her　back…she　screamed　more…and　I　was　looking　carefully　at　her　entire　body。　The　rash　was　spreading；　there　was　no　doubt　about　it。　And　she　seemed　to　be　in　terrible　pain；　screaming　bloody　murder。
　〃I'm　sorry；　honey；　I'm　sorry　。。。〃　I　said。
　Definitely　spreading。
　Julia　came　back　and　said　she　left　word　for　the　doctor。　I　said；　〃I'm　not　going　to　wait。　I'm　taking　her　to　the　emergency　room。〃
　〃Do　you　really　think　that's　necessary？〃　she　said。
　I　didn't　answer　her；　I　just　went　into　the　bedroom　to　put　on　my　clothes。
　Julia　said；　〃Do