gs.earthabides-第59部分

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　　A　week　later　the　epidemic　was　in　full　course。　Dick；　Bob's　panion　on　the　expedition；　had　been　the　next　to　go　down。　But　now　Ezra　and　five　of　the　children　lay　stricken。　In　proportion　to　its　numbers；　the　munity　was　in　the　grip　of　a　devastating　outbreak　of　what　must　be…Ish　felt　certain…typhoid　fever。　
　　Some　of　the　adults　had　been　inoculated　in　the　Old　Times；　but　their　immunity　must　long　since　have　lapsed。　All　the　children　were　totally　unguarded。　Even　with　all　the　old…time　medical　skill　typhoid　had　been　batted　chiefly　by　prevention。　Once　the　disease　was　established；　there　was　no　remedy　but　to　let　it　run　its　long　and　sinister　course。　
　　Easy　enough　now；　thought　Ish；　to　do　some　second　thinking！　Easy　enough；　he　thought　bitterly；　to　know　that　Charlie；　no　matter　what　other　diseases　he　might　have　had　or　thought　he　had；　was　really　carrying　the　germs　from　an　attack　of　typhoid　fever！　Perhaps　he　had　been　sick　years　before；　perhaps　he　had　been　sick　recently；　for　quite　possibly　the　disease　had　made　the　passage　in　the　area　where　he　had　lived。　They　would　never　know。　And　now；　what　did　it　matter？　
　　What　they　knew　for　certain　was　that　Charlie；　obviously　unclean　in　personal　habits；　had　eaten　with　the　two　boys　for　more　than　a　week。　In　addition；　the　not　too　carefully　constructed　outhouses　and　the　flies　offered　an　obvious　route　of　general　infection。　
　　They　began　to　boil　all　drinking…water。　They　burned　the　old　latrines　and　filled　the　old　pits。　They　kept　the　new　ones　so　well　sprayed　with　DDT　that　no　fly　could　alight　and　live。　All　such　Precautions　were　obviously　too　late。　Already　every　individual　must　have　been　exposed　to　infection。　Those　who　had　not　yet　succumbed　must　either　by　good　luck　possess　natural　immunity；　or　else　the　disease　was　still　lying　dormant　in　them；　building　up　strength　through　its　period　of　incubation。　
　　Day　by　day；　one　or　more　took　to　bed。　Bob；　now　in　his　second　week；　lay　tossing　in　delirium；　a　grim　indication　of　the　long　road　all　the　others　must　follow　before　they　could　grow　better。　Already　those　still　on　their　feet　were　being　worn　down　by　the　strain　of　nursing。　
　　They　had　scarcely　time　to　give　any　thought　to　fear；　and　yet　fear　lay　all　around　them；　daily　drawing　its　circle　closer。　There　had　been　no　deaths　as　yet；　but　neither　had　anyone　passed　the　crisis　of　the　fever。　As　in　earlier　years　each　birth　had　seemed　to　force　back　the　circle　of　darkness；　so　now　with　each　newly　stricken　one　the　darkness　moved　a　step　inward；　bringing　annihilation　with　it。　Even　if　they　did　not　all　die　in　the　epidemic；　the　loss　of　any　large　number　might　break；　it　seemed；　the　munal　will　to　live。　
　　George　and　Maurine　and　Molly　had　taken　to　prayer；　and　some　of　the　younger　ones　had　joined　with　them。　They　were　afraid　that　God　was　exacting　retribution　upon　them　for　the　death　of　Charlie。　Ralph　was　just　on　the　point　of　taking　his　family；　as　yet　not　stricken；　and　fleeing　off　somewhere。　Ish　dissuaded　him；　for　the　moment　at　least；　arguing　that　any　of　them　might　already　be　infected　and　that　to　be　taken　sick　as　a　small　and　isolated　group　would　be　much　more　dangerous　than　to　share　with　the　whole　munity。　
　　〃We　are　close　to　panic！〃　thought　Ish。　and　then　the　next　morning　he　himself　awoke…depressed；　feverish；　and　half…prostrated。　He　forced　himself　to　his　feet；　made　light　of　Em's　inquiries；　and　avoided　her　glances。　Bob　was　very　bad；　and　took　most　of　Em's　time。　Ish　tended　Joey　and　Josey；　who　were　both　in　the　early　stages。　Walt；　they　had　sent　off　to　help　in　one　of　the　other　houses。　
　　In　the　afternoon；　leaning　over　Joey's　bed；　Ish　felt　himself　collapsing。　With　his　last　effort　he　managed　to　get　to　his　own　bed；　and　fall　upon　it。　
　　Hours　later；　it　seemed；　he　came　to　himself。　Em　was　looking　down　at　him。　She　had　managed　to　undress　him　and　get　him　into　bed。　
　　He　looked　up　at　her；　feeling　small。　He　gazed　as　a　child　might　have　gazed…above　all；　fearing　that　he　would　see　fear。　If　she　was　afraid；　all　was　lost！　
　　But　in　her　face　he　saw　no　fear。　
　　The　dark；　wide…set　eyes　looked　calnily　at　him。　Oh；　Mother　of　Nations！　And　then　he　slept。　
　　In　his　days　and　nights　of　delirium；　he　knew　little　of　what　happened。　Through　his　fever　the　great　vague　dream…shapes　moved　in　and　pressed　upon　him　from　the　dark　outside…horrible；　inchoate　as　fog；　not　to　be　batted。　Then　sometimes　he　called　out　for　someone　to　bring　him　his　hammer；　and　he　called　the　name　of　Joey　sometimes；　and　again　（worst　of　all）　the　name　of　Charlie。　But　also　in　his　terrors　he　called　sometimes　on　the　name　of　Em；　and　then　it　might　be　that　he　awoke　at　the　pressure　of　her　hand　and　looked　up。　Always　he　looked　for　fear；　but　there　was　no　fear。　
　　Then　there　was　a　week　when　he　lay　quieter　but　so　prostrated　that　at　times　his　life　seemed　to　him　to　be　fluttering　weakly　to　take　flight　and　go…and　he　cared　little。　Only；　when　he　looked　up　and　saw　Em；　he　felt　courage　and　strength　move　out　from　her；　and　he　held　his　lips　hard　together；　for　he　thought　life　itself　pressed　close　behind　his　lips　and　that　if　he　opened　its　mouth　it　would　escape　like　a　butterfly。　But　as　long　as　he　looked　up　at　Em；　he　knew　that　he　would　have　strength　to　hold　that　little；　faintly　struggling　thing　within　him。　
　　Only；　when　she　had　gone；　he　said　to　himself；　now　that　he　could　think　a　little；　〃She　will　break！　Some　time　she　must　break！　She　may　not　get　the　fever。　We　may　hope　for　that　good　luck！　But　she　cannot　carry　the　burden　for　all　of　us。〃　
　　Now　he　realized　more　of　what　was　happening。　There　had　been　deaths；　he　knew；　but　not　who　or　how　many。　He　dared　not　ask。　
　　Once　he　heard　Jeanie　e；　wailing　hysterically　at　the　death　of　a　child；　Em　said　little；　but　strangely　the　spirit　moved　out　from　her；　and　Jeanie　went　away　with　courage　to　fight　on。　George　came；　unwashed　and　filth…smeared；　a　terror…stricken　old　man…Maurine　had　suffered　a　relapse；　and　their　grandchild　lay　gasping。　Em　said　nothing　about　God；　but　again　a　spirit　went　out　from　her；　and　George　walked　away　with　head　high；　and　saying　the　words；　〃Yea；　though　He　slay　me。。。。〃　Thus　even　when　the　shadows　drew　in　most　closely　and　the　little　candle　seemed　flickering　and　smoky；　she　knew　no　despair　and　sustained　them　all。　
　　〃It　is　strange；〃　thought　Ish。　〃She　has　none　of　those　things　on　which　I　used　to　count　so　much…not　education；　not　even　high　intelligence。　She　supplies　no　ideas。　Yet　she　has　a　greatness　within　her　and　the　final　affinnation。　Without　her；　in　these　last　few　weeks；　we　would　have　despaired　and　lost　hold　of　life　and　gone　under。〃　And　he　felt　himself　humble　beside　her。　
　　At　last　one　day　he　saw　her　sitting　near　him；　and　on　her　face　was　such　great　weariness　as　he　had　never　seen　on　a　face　before。　He　was　appalled。　Then　suddenly　he　was　happy；　for　he　knew　that　she　would　never　have　sat　there　and　let　her　weariness　show　unless　the　future　was　safe。　Yet　it　was　such　a　weariness　as　he　scarcely　thought　could　exist。　Suddenly　he　knew　that　behind　such　weariness　must　also　lie　great　grief。　
　　At　that　moment　too　he　realized　that　he　himself　was　now　on　the　road　to　convalescence；　probably　less　weary　than　she；　able　to　share　the　load。　
　　He　looked　at　her　and　smiled；　and　even　in　her　weariness　she　smiled　back。　〃Tell　me；〃　he　said　gently。　
　　She　hesitated；　and　he　was　thinking　wildly。　Walt？…no；　Walt　was　not　sick。　He　brought　me　a　glass　of　water　today。　Jack？…no；　I　am　sure　that　I　have　heard　his　voice；　he　was　very　strong。　Josey　would　it　be？　Or　Mary？　It　might　be　more　than　one。　
　　〃Share　it　with　me；〃　he　said　to　her。　I　am　well　enough　now。〃　And　still　he　was　thinking　wildly。　It　must　not　be　that　one。　He　was　not　strong；　but　the　weakest　often　endure　illness　the　best。　No；　not　he！　
　　〃Five…up　and　down　the　street…five　are　dead。〃　
　　〃Which　ones？〃　he　said；　bracing　himself。　
　　〃They　are　all　children。〃　
　　〃What…about　ours？〃　he　said；　knowing　that　she　was　sheltering　him　still；　his　fear　suddenly　dominating。　〃Yes；　five　days　ago；〃　she　said。　
　　Then　he　saw　her　lips　start　to　form　the　word；　and　he　knew；　even　before　he　heard　the　sounds：　〃Joey。〃　
　　What　is　the　good　of　anything？　（So　he　thought；　and　he　asked　nothing　more。）　The　Chosen　One！　The　rest　might　have　followed；　he　only　could　carry　the　light。　The　Child　of　the　Promise！　Then　he　closed　his　eyes；　and　lay　still。　
　　
　　Chapter　9
　　The　weeks　of　his　convalescence　dragged　along。　Very　slowly；　his　physical　strength　came　back　to　him。　Yet；　even　behind　his　physical　strength；　his　mental　vigor　lagged。　Looking　in　a　mirror；　he　saw　his　hair　now　showing　streaks　of　gray。　〃Am　I　old　already？〃　he　thought。　〃No；　not　really　old！〃　At　least　he　knew　that　in　some　ways　he　would　never　be　the　same。　Some　fine　youthful　courage　and　confidence　had　faded。　
　　Always　he　had　prided　himself　on　being　able　to　think　honestly；　to　face　intellectually　whatever　must　be　faced。　Now　he　found　his　mind　swerving　off　when　his　thoughts　drew　near　to　certain　subjects。　Well；　he　was　still　weak；　after　a　while；　he　would　go　ahead　once　more。　
　　Sometimes　（and　this　frightened　him）　he　found　himself　refusing　to　admit　the　actuality；　making　plans　as　if　Joey　were　still　there；　escaping　into　the　happiness　of　fantasy。　He　realized　that　he　had　always　had　something　of　this　tendency。　At　times　it　had　been　an　advantage；　as　when　it　had　enabled　him　to　readjust　imaginatively　when　he　had　first　been　left　alone。　But　now　he　was　escaping　because　the　reality　seemed　too　bleak　to　be　faced。　Repeatedly　a　line　of　poetry；　from　the　wide　reading　of　all　those　years；　came　into　his　head　when　he　tried　to　breast　reality：　
　　Never　glad　confident　morning　again！
　　No；　never　again！　Joey　was　gone；　and　Charlie's　shadow　lay　over　them；　and　the　all…necessary　State　had　arisen；　with　death　in　its　hands。　And　everything　that　he　had　tried　to　do　so　hopefully　in　that　glad　morning　had　failed。　He　questioned　why。　Then　often　in　mere　despair　he　fled　into　fantasy。　
　　When　he　could　think　more　calmly；　the　irony　of　all　things　impressed　him　more　and　more。　What　you　were　preparing　against…that　never　happened！　All　the　best…laid　plans　could　not　prevent　the　disaster　against　which　no　plans　had　been　laid。　
　　Most　of　the　time　he　had　to　be　alone。　Some　of　the　others　still　needed　care；　and　what　strength　remained　in　Em　had　to　be　devoted　to　them。　He　would　have　liked　to　talk　to　Ezra；　but　Ezra　too　was　not　yet　out　of　bed。　Except　for　Em　and　Ezra；　now　that　Joey　was　gone；　there　was　no　o