lmb.shardsofhonor-第15部分

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　She　let　her　breath　trickle　out　through　pursed　lips。　〃You　don't…deal　in　small　change；　do　you？〃　She　wondered　where　the　phrase　about　hearts　leaping　up　came　from。　It　felt　far　more　like　the　bottom　dropping　out　of　her　stomach。　Her　consciousness　of　her　own　body　shot　up　with　a　lurch；　she　was　already　overwhelmingly　conscious　of　his。
　He　shook　his　head。　〃That's　not　what　I　want；　for　you；　with　you。　You　should　have　the　best。　I'm　hardly　that；　you　must　know　by　now。　But　at　least　I　can　offer　you　the　best　that　I　have。　Dear　C…mander；　am　I　too　sudden；　by　Betan　standards？　I've　been　waiting　for　days；　for　the　right　opportunity；　but　there　never　seemed　to　be　one。〃
　〃Days！　How　long　have　you　been　thinking　along　these　lines？〃
　〃It　first　occurred　to　me　when　I　saw　you　in　the　ravine。〃
　〃What；　throwing　up　in　the　mud？〃　He　grinned　at　that。　〃With　great　posure。　By　the　time　we　finished　burying　your　officer；　I　knew。〃
　She　rubbed　her　lips。　〃Anybody　ever　tell　you　you're　a　lunatic？〃
　〃Not　in　this　context。〃
　〃I…you've　confused　me。〃
　〃Not　offended　you？〃
　〃No；　of　course　not。〃
　He　relaxed　just　slightly。　〃You　needn't　say　yes　or　no　right　now；　of　course。　It　will　be　months　before　we're　home。　But　I　didn't　want　you　to　think…it　makes　things　awkward；　your　being　a　prisoner。　I　didn't　want　you　to　think　I　was　offering　you　an　insult。〃
　〃Not　at　all；〃　she　said　faintly。
　〃There　are　some　other　things　I　should　tell　you；〃　he　went　on；　his　attention　seemingly　caught　by　his　boots　again。　〃It　wouldn't　be　an　easy　life。　I　have　been　thinking；　since　I　met　you；　that　a　career　cleaning　up　after　the　failures　of　politics；　as　you　phrased　it；　might　not　be　the　highest　honor　after　all。　Maybe　I　should　be　trying　to　prevent　the　failures　at　their　source。　It　would　be　more　dangerous　than　soldiering…chances　of　betrayal；　false　charges；　assassination；　maybe　exile；　poverty；　death。　Evil　promises　with　bad　men　for　a　little　good　result；　and　that　not　guaranteed。　Not　a　good　life；　but　if　one　had　children…better　me　than　them。〃
　〃You　sure　know　how　to　show　a　girl　a　good　time；〃　she　said　helplessly；　rubbing　her　chin　and　smiling。
　Vorkosigan　looked　up；　uncertain　of　his　hope。
　〃How　does　one　set　about　a　political　career；　on　Barrayar？〃　she　asked；　feeling　her　way。　〃I　presume　you're　thinking　of　following　in　your　grandfather　Prince　Xav's　steps；　but　without　the　advantage　of　being　an　Imperial　prince；　how　do　you　get　an　office？〃
　〃Three　ways。　Imperial　appointment；　inheritance；　and　rising　through　the　ranks。　The　Council　of　Ministers　gets　its　best　men　through　the　last　method。　It's　their　great　strength；　but　closed　to　me。　The　Council　of　Counts；　by　inheritance。　That's　my　surest　route；　but　it　waits　on　my　father's　death。　It　can　just　go　on　waiting。　It's　a　moribund　body　anyway；　afflicted　with　the　narrowest　conservatism；　and　stuffed　with　old　relics　only　concerned　with　protecting　their　privileges。　I'm　not　sure　anything　can　be　done　with　the　Counts　in　the　long　run。　Perhaps　they　should　finally　be　allowed　to　dodder　over　the　brink　of　extinction。　Don't　quote　that；〃　he　added　as　an　afterthought。
　〃It's　the　weirdest　design　for　a　government。〃
　〃It　wasn't　designed。　It　grew。〃
　〃Maybe　what　you　need　is　a　constitutional　convention。〃
　〃Spoken　like　a　true　Betan。　Well；　perhaps　we　do；　although　it　sounds　like　a　prescription　for　civil　war；　in　our　context。　That　leaves　Imperial　appointment。　It's　quick；　but　my　fall　could　be　as　sudden　and　spectacular　as　my　rise；　if　I　should　offend　the　old　man；　or　he　dies。〃　The　light　of　battle　was　in　his　eyes　as　he　spoke；　planning。　〃My　one　advantage　with　him　is　that　he　enjoys　plain　speaking。　I　don't　know　how　he　acquired　the　taste　for　it；　because　he　doesn't　get　much　of　it。
　〃Do　you　know；　I　think　you'd　like　politics；　at　least　on　Barrayar。　Maybe　because　it's　so　similar　to　what　we　call　war；　elsewhere。
　〃There　is　a　more　immediate　political　problem；　though；　with　respect　to　your　ship；　and　some　other　things。。。〃
　He　paused；　losing　momentum。　〃Maybe…maybe　an　insoluble　one。　It　really　may　be　premature　for　me　to　be　discussing　marriage　until　I　know　which　way　it's　going　to　fall　out。　But　I　couldn't　let　you　go　on　thinking…what　were　you　thinking；　anyway？〃
　She　shook　her　head。　〃I　don't　think　I　want　to　say；　just　now。　I'll　tell　you　someday。　It's　nothing　you'll　dislike；　I　don't　believe。〃
　He　accepted　that　with　a　little　hopeful　nod；　and　went　on。　〃Your　ship…〃
　She　frowned　uneasily。　〃You　won't　be　getting　into　any　trouble　over　my　ship　getting　away；　will　you？〃
　〃It　was　just　the　situation　we　were　on　our　way　out　here　to　prevent。　The　fact　that　I　was　unconscious　at　the　time　should　be　a　mitigating　factor。　Balancing　that　are　the　views　I　aired　at　the　Emperor's　council。　There's　bound　to　be　suspicion　I　let　it　escape　on　purpose；　to　sabotage　an　adventure　I　deeply　disapprove。〃
　〃Another　demotion？〃
　He　laughed。　〃I　was　the　youngest　admiral　in　the　history　of　our　fleet…I　might　end　up　the　oldest　ensign；　too。　But　no；〃　he　sobered。　〃There　will　almost　certainly　be　a　charge　of　treason　laid；　by　the　war　party　in　the　Ministries。　Until　that's　settled；　one　way　or　another；〃　he　met　her　eyes；　〃it　may　be　difficult　to　settle　any　personal　affairs　either。〃
　〃Is　treason　a　capital　crime　on　Barrayar？〃　she　asked；　morbidly　curious。
　〃Oh；　yes。　Public　exposure　and　death　by　starvation。〃　He　raised　a　quizzical　eyebrow　at　her　appalled　look。　〃If　it's　any　consolation；　high…born　traitors　always　seem　to　be　smuggled　some　neat　means　to　private　suicide；　before　the　event。　It　saves　stirring　up　any　unnecessary　public　sympathy。　I　think　I　should　not　give　them　the　satisfaction；　though。　Let　it　be　public；　and　messy；　and　tedious；　and　embarrassing　as　all　hell。〃　He　looked　alarmingly　fey。
　〃Would　you　sabotage　the　invasion；　if　you　could？〃
　He　shook　his　head；　eyes　going　distant。　〃No。　I　am　a　man　under　authority。　That's　what　the　syllable　in　front　of　my　name　means。　While　the　question　is　still　being　debated；　I'll　continue　to　argue　my　case。　But　if　the　Emperor　puts　his　word　to　the　order；　I'll　go　without　question。　The　alternative　is　civil　chaos；　and　we've　had　enough　of　that。〃
　〃What's　different　about　this　invasion？　You　must　have　favored　Komarr；　or　they　wouldn't　have　put　you　in　charge　of　it。〃
　〃Komarr　was　a　unique　opportunity；　almost　a　textbook　case。　When　I　was　designing　the　strategy　for　its　conquest；　I　made　maximum　use　of　those　chances。〃　He　ticked　off　the　points　on　his　thick　fingers。　〃A　small　population；　all　concentrated　in　climate…controlled　cities。　No　place　for　guerillas　to　fall　back　and　regroup。　No　allies…we　weren't　the　only　ones　whose　trade　was　being　strangled　by　their　greedy　tariffs。　All　I　had　to　do　was　let　it　leak　out　that　we　were　going　to　drop　their　twenty…five　percent　cut　of　everything　that　passed　through　their　nexus　points　to　fifteen；　and　the　neighbors　that　should　have　supported　them　fell　into　our　pockets。　No　heavy　industry。　Fat　and　lazy　from　living　off　unearned　ine…they　didn't　even　want　to　do　their　own　fighting；　until　those　scraggly　mercenaries　they'd　hired　found　out　what　they　were　up　against；　and　turned　tail。　If　I'd　had　a　free　hand；　and　a　little　more　time；　I　think　it　could　have　been　taken　without　a　shot　being　fired。　A　perfect　war；　it　should　have　been；　if　the　Council　of　Ministers　hadn't　been　so　impatient。〃　Remembered　frustrations　played　themselves　out　before　his　eyes；　and　he　frowned　into　the　past。　〃This　other　plan…well；　I　think　you'll　understand　if　I　tell　you　it's　Escobar。〃
　Cordelia　sat　up；　shocked。　〃You　found　a　jump　through　here　to　Escobar？〃　No　wonder；　then；　the　Barrayarans　had　not　announced　their　discovery　of　this　place。　Of　all　the　possibilities　she　had　revolved　in　her　mind；　that　was　the　last。　Escobar　was　one　of　the　major　planetary　hubs　in　the　network　of　wormhole　exits　that　strung　scattered　humanity　together。　Large；　old；　rich；　temperate；　it　counted　among　its　many　neighbors　Beta　Colony　itself。　〃They're　out　of　their　minds！〃
　〃Do　you　know；　that's　almost　exactly　what　I　said；　before　the　Minister　of　the　West　started　shouting；　and　Count　Vortala　threatened…well；　became　very　rude　to　him。　Vortala　can　be　more　obnoxious　without　actually　swearing　than　any　man　I　know。〃
　〃Beta　Colony　would　be　drawn　in　for　sure。　Why；　half　our　interstellar　trade　passes　through　Escobar。　And　Tau　Ceti　Five。　And　Jackson's　Whole。〃
　〃At　the　very　least；　I　should　think；〃　Vorkosigan　nodded　agreement。　〃The　idea　was　to　make　it　a　quick　operation；　and　present　the　potential　allies　with　a　fait　acpli。　Being　intimately　familiar　with　everything　that　went　wrong　with　my　'perfect'　plan　for　Komarr；　I　told　them　they　were　dreaming；　or　words　to　that　effect。〃　He　shook　his　head。　〃I　wish　I'd　kept　my　temper　better。　I　could　still　be　back　there；　arguing　against　it。　Instead；　for　all　I　know；　the　fleet　is　being　readied　even　now。　And　the　further　preparations　go；　the　harder　they　will　be　to　stop。〃　He　sighed。
　〃War；〃　Cordelia　mused；　immensely　disturbed。　〃You　realize；　if　your　fleet　goes…if　Barrayar　goes　to　war　with　Escobar…they'll　be　wanting　navigators　at　home。　Even　if　Beta　Colony　doesn't　get　directly　involved　in　the　fight；　we're　sure　to　be　selling　them　weapons；　technical　assistance；　shiploads　of　supplies…〃
　Vorkosigan　started　to　speak；　then　stopped　himself。　〃I　suppose　you　would；〃　he　said　bleakly。　〃And　we　would　be　trying　to　blockade　you。〃
　She　could　feel　the　blood　beating　in　her　ears　in　the　silence　that　followed。　The　little　noises　and　vibrations　of　Vorkosigan's　ship　still　drifted　through　the　walls；　Bothari　stirred　in　the　corridor；　and　footsteps　passed　by。
　She　shook　her　head。　〃I'm　going　to　have　to　think　about　this。　It's　not　as　easy　as　it　looked；　at　first。〃
　〃No；　it's　not。〃　He　turned　his　hand　palm…outward；　a　gesture　of　pletion；　and　rose　stiffly；　his　leg　still　bothering　him。　〃That's　all　I　wanted　to　say。　You　need　not　say　anything。〃
　She　nodded；　grateful　for　the　release；　and　he　withdrew；　collecting　Bothari　and　shutting　the　door　firmly　behind　him。　She　sighed　distress　and　deep　uncertainty；　and　lay　back　staring　at　the　ceiling　until　Yeoman　Nilesa　brought　dinner。
　
　CHAPTER　SIX
　Next　morning；　ship　time；　she　remained　quietly　in　her　cabin　reading。　She　wanted　time　to　assimilate　yesterday's　conversation　before　she　saw　Vorkosigan　again。　She　was　as　unsettled　as　if　all　her　star　maps　had　been　randomized；　leaving　her　lost；　but　at　least　knowing　she　was　lost。　A　step　backwards　toward　truth；　she　supposed；　better　than　mistaken　certainties。　She