lmb.shardsofhonor-第20部分

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cle　and　more　of　it　in　fat。　He　had　dark　hair　too；　curlier　than　Vorkosigan's　and　with　less　grey　in　it；　was　a　similar　age；　and　rather　more　handsome。　His　eyes　were　quite　different；　a　deep　velvet　brown　fringed　by　long　black　lashes；　by　far　the　most　beautiful　eyes　she　had　ever　seen　in　a　man's　face。　They　triggered　a　small　subliminal　wailing　deep　in　her　mind；　crying；　you　thought　you　had　faced　fear　earlier　today；　but　you　were　mistaken；　here　is　the　real　thing；　fear　without　exhilaration　or　hope；　which　was　strange；　for　they　ought　to　have　attracted　her。　She　broke　eye　contact；　telling　herself　firmly　the　unease　and　instant　dislike　were　mere　nerves；　and　waited。
　〃Identify　yourself；　Betan；〃　he　growled。　It　gave　her　a　disjointed　sense　of　deja…vu。
　She　fought　for　equilibrium；　giving　him　a　snappy　salute　and　saying　smartly；　〃Captain　Cordelia　Naismith；　Betan　Expeditionary。　We　are　a　military　party。　batants。〃　This　private　joke　of　course　passed　by　him。
　〃Hah。　Strip　her；　and　turn　her　about。〃
　He　stepped　back；　watching。　The　two　grinning　soldiers　guarding　her　obeyed。　I　don't　like　the　way　this　is　starting　out。。。　She　forced　her　face　to　blandness；　holding　on　to　all　her　secret　sources　of　serenity。　Calm。　Calm。　This　one　wants　to　rattle　you。　You　can　see　it　in　his　eyes；　his　hungry　eyes。　Calm。
　〃A　little　old；　but　she'll　do。　I'll　send　for　her　later。〃
　The　guard　shoved　the　pajamas　back　at　her。　She　dressed　slowly；　to　annoy　them；　like　a　striptease　in　reverse；　with　precise　controlled　motions　of　the　sort　suitable　for　a　Japanese　tea　ceremony。　One　growled；　and　the　other　shoved　her　roughly　in　the　back　toward　her　cell。　She　smiled　sourly　at　her　success；　thinking；　well；　at　least　I　have　that　much　control　over　my　destiny。　Should　I　award　myself　points　if　I　can　goad　them　into　beating　me　up？
　They　bundled　her　into　a　bare　metal　room；　and　left　her。　She　continued　the　ploy；　for　her　own　thin　amusement；　by　kneeling　gracefully　on　the　floor　with　the　same　sort　of　movements；　right　toe　crossed　correctly　over　the　left；　hands　resting　motionless　upon　her　thighs。　The　touch　reminded　her　of　the　patch　on　her　left　leg　that　was　devoid　of　all　sensation；　heat；　cold；　pain；　pressure；　legacy　of　her　last　encounter　with　the　armies　of　Barrayar。　She　half…closed　her　eyes　and　let　her　mind　drift；　hoping　to　give　her　captors　an　unsettling　impression　of　deep　and　possibly　dangerous　psychic　meditations。　Pretend　aggression　was　better　than　nothing。
　After　an　hour　or　so　of　stillness；　by　which　time　her　unaccustomed　muscles　were　protesting　the　kneeling　position　most　painfully；　the　guard　returned。
　〃Admiral　wants　you；〃　he　said　laconically。　〃e　along。〃　She　had　a　guard　at　each　elbow　again　for　the　trip　through　the　ship。　One　grinned　and　undressed　her　with　his　eyes。　The　other　looked　at　her　with　pity；　far　more　disturbing。　She　began　to　wonder　just　how　much　her　time　with　Vorkosigan　had　led　her　to　discount　the　risks　of　capture。　They　came　to　officer's　country；　and　stopped　before　an　oval　metal　door　in　a　row　of　identical　ones。　The　grinning　guard　knocked；　and　was　bidden　to　enter。
　This　admiral's　quarters　were　very　different　from　her　austere　cabin　aboard　the　General　Vorkraft。　For　one　thing；　the　bulkheads　had　been　knocked　out　of　the　two　adjoining　chambers；　giving　a　triple　share　of　space。　It　was　full　of　personal　furnishings　of　a　most　luxurious　order。　Admiral　Vorrutyer　rose　from　a　velvet…covered　seat　as　she　entered；　but　she　did　not　mistake　it　for　a　gesture　of　courtesy。
　He　walked　slyly　around　her　as　she　stood　silent；　watching　her　gaze　travel　around　the　room。　〃A　step　up　from　that　cell；　eh？〃　he　probed。
　For　the　guards'　benefit　she　replied；　〃Looks　like　a　whore's　boudoir。〃
　The　grinning　guard　choked；　and　the　other　one　laughed　outright；　but　cut　it　off　quickly　at　a　glare　from　Vorrutyer。　Didn't　think　it　was　that　funny；　she　puzzled。　Some　of　the　details　of　the　decor　began　to　penetrate；　and　she　realized　she'd　spoken　more　truly　than　she　knew。　What　an　extremely　odd　little　statuette　in　that　corner；　for　instance。　Although　it　had　a　certain　redeeming　artistic　merit；　she　supposed。　〃One　with　very　unusual　customers；〃　she　added。
　〃Buckle　her　in；〃　ordered　Vorrutyer；　〃and　return　to　your　posts。　I'll　call　you　when　I'm　done。〃
　She　was　placed　on　her　back　across　his　wide；　non…regulation　bed；　arms　and　legs　stretched　to　the　four　corners　and　tautly　attached　by　soft　bracelets　to　short　chains；　attached　in　turn　to　the　bedframe。　Simple；　chilling；　quite　beyond　her　strength　to　break。
　The　guard　who　pitied　whispered　to　her　under　his　breath　as　he　buckled　a　wrist　strap；　hidden　almost　inaudibly　in　a　sigh；　〃Sorry。〃
　〃It's　all　right；〃　she　breathed　back。　Their　eyes　passed　over　each　other；　hiding　the　secret　transaction　from　the　watching　Vorrutyer。
　〃Ha。　That's　what　you　think　now；〃　murmured　the　other　through　his　grin；　fastening　the　other　strap。
　〃Shut　up；〃　muttered　the　first；　and　shot　him　a　fierce　look。　An　unclean　silence　filled　the　room　until　the　guards　withdrew。
　〃Looks　like　a　permanent　installation；〃　she　observed　to　Vorrutyer；　horribly　fascinated。　It　was　like　a　sick　joke　e　to　life。　〃What　do　you　do　when　you　can't　catch　Betans？　Call　for　volunteers？〃
　A　frown　appeared　between　his　eyes　briefly；　then　smoothed。　〃Keep　it　up；〃　he　encouraged。　〃It　amuses　me。　It　will　make　the　ultimate　denouement　so　much　more　piquant。〃
　He　loosened　his　uniform　collar；　poured　himself　a　glass　of　wine　from　a　very　non…regulation　portable　bar　in　one　corner；　and　seated　himself　on　the　bed　beside　her　with　the　chatty　air　of　a　man　visiting　a　sick　friend。　He　looked　her　over　minutely；　beautiful　brown　eyes　liquid　with　anticipation。
　She　tried　to　string　herself　along；　maybe　he's　only　a　rapist。　It　might　be　possible　to　handle　a　simple　rapist。　Such　direct；　childlike　souls；　hardly　offensive　at　all。　Even　vileness　has　a　relative　range。。。
　〃I　don't　know　any　military　secrets　worth　a　thing；〃　she　fenced。　〃This　isn't　really　worth　your　time。〃
　〃I　didn't　think　you　did；〃　he　replied　easily。　〃Although　you　will　undoubtedly　insist　on　telling　me　everything　you　know　over　the　next　few　weeks。　Quite　tedious；　I'm　not　in　the　least　interested。　If　I　want　your　information；　my　medical　staff　can　have　it　out　of　you　in　a　trice。〃　He　sipped　his　wine。　〃Although　it's　curious　you　should　bring　up　the　subject…perhaps　I　will　send　you　to　sickbay；　later　today。〃
　Her　stomach　knotted。　Fool；　she　shrieked　silently　at　herself；　did　you　just　blow　a　chance　of　ducking　interrogation？　But　no；　it　had　to　be　standard　operating　procedure…he's　just　working　you　over。　Subtle。　Calm。。。
　He　drank　again。　〃Do　you　know；　I　think　I　shall　enjoy　having　an　older　woman　for　a　change。　The　young　ones　may　look　pretty；　but　they're　too　easy。　No　sport。　I　can　tell　already；　you're　going　to　be　great　sport。　A　very　great　fall　requires　a　very　great　height；　to　fall　from；　not　so？〃
　She　sighed；　and　gazed　up　at　the　ceiling。　〃Well；　I'm　sure　it　will　be　educational。〃　She　tried　to　remember　how　she'd　occupied　her　mind　during　sex　with　her　old　lover；　in　the　bad　times　before　she'd　finally　shed　him。　This　might　well　be　no　worse。。。
　Vorrutyer；　smiling；　put　his　wine　down　on　a　bedside　table　and　took　from　its　drawer　a　small　knife；　sharp　as　an　old…fashioned　scalpel；　with　a　jeweled　handle　that　glittered　before　his　hand　eclipsed　it。　Rather　desultorily；　he　began　slicing　away　at　the　orange　pajamas；　peeling　them　away　from　her　like　the　skin　of　a　fruit。
　〃Isn't　that　government　property？〃　she　inquired；　but　was　sorry　she'd　spoken；　for　a　tremble　made　the　word　〃property〃　squeaky。　It　was　like　throwing　a　tidbit　to　a　hungry　dog；　likely　to　make　him　jump　higher。
　He　chuckled；　pleased。　〃Oops。〃　Deliberately；　he　let　the　knife　slip。　It　sliced　half　an　inch　into　her　thigh。　He　watched　her　face　avidly　for　her　reaction。　It　was　in　the　area　without　sensation；　she　could　not　even　feel　the　wet　trickle　of　blood　that　welled　from　the　wound。　His　eyes　narrowed　in　disappointment。　She　even　kept　from　glancing　down。　She　wished　she'd　studied　more　about　trance　states。
　〃I'm　not　going　to　rape　you　today；〃　he　offered　conversationally；　〃if　that's　what　you've　been　thinking。〃
　〃It　had　crossed　my　mind。　I　can't　imagine　what　suggested　it。〃
　〃There's　scarcely　time；〃　he　explained。　〃Today　is　but　the；　as　it　were；　hors　d'ouevre　of　the　banquet；　or　a　simple　clear　soup；　very　pristine。　All　the　plicated　things　will　be　saved　for　dessert；　in　a　few　weeks。〃
　〃I　never　eat　dessert。　Weight；　you　know。〃
　He　chuckled　again。　〃You　are　a　delight。〃　He　put　the　knife　down　and　took　another　sip　of　wine。　〃You　know；　officers　always　delegate　their　work。　Now；　I　am　an　aficionado　of　Earth　history。　My　favorite　century　is　the　eighteenth。〃
　〃I'd　have　guessed　the　fourteenth。　Or　the　twentieth。〃
　〃In　a　day　or　two；　I　shall　teach　you　not　to　interrupt。　Where　was　I？　Ah；　yes。　Well；　in　my　reading；　I　came　upon　the　loveliest　scene；　where　a　certain　great　lady；〃　he　raised　the　wineglass　to　her　in　a　toast；　〃was　raped　by　a　diseased　servant；　on　the　orders　of　his　master。　Very　piquant。　Venereal　disease　is；　alas；　a　thing　of　the　past。　But　I　am　able　to　mand　a　diseased　servant；　although　his　disease　is　mental　rather　than　physical。　A　real；　bona　fide；　paranoid　schizophrenic。〃
　〃Like　master；　like　man；〃　she　shot　at　random。　I　cannot　keep　this　up　much　longer；　my　heart　shall　fail　me　soon。。。
　This　won　a　rather　sour　smile。　〃He　hears　voices；　you　know；　like　Joan　of　Arc；　except　that　he　tells　me　they　are　demons；　not　saints。　He　has　visual　hallucinations；　too；　on　occasion。　And　he's　a　very　large　man。　I've　used　him　before；　many　times。　He's　not　the　sort　of　fellow　who　finds　it　easy　to；　er；　attract　women。〃
　There　was　a　timely　knock　on　the　door；　and　Vorrutyer　went　to　it。　〃Ah；　e　in；　Sergeant。　I　was　just　talking　about　you。〃
　〃Bothari；〃　she　breathed。　Ducking　his　head　through　the　door　came　the　tall　frame　and　familiar　borzoi　face　of　Vorkosigan's　soldier。　How；　how　could　he　have　hit　on　her　personal　nightmare？　A　kaleidoscope　of　images　spun　through　her　memory：　a　dappled　wood；　the　crackle　of　disruptors；　the　faces　of　the　dead　and　the　half…dead；　a　looming　shape　like　the　shadow　of　death。
　She　focused　on　the　present　reality。　Would　he　recognize　her？　His　eyes　had　not　yet　touched　her；　they　were　fixed　on　Vorrutyer。　Too　close　together；　those　eyes；　and　not　quite　on　the　same　level。　They　gave　his　face　an　unusual　degree　of　asymmetry　that　added　much　to　his　remarkable　ugliness。
　Her　boiling　imagination　lurched