lmb.shardsofhonor-第37部分

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　〃Resourceful；　too；〃　Cordelia　extemporized；　wondering　what　cordolite　was。　She'd　never　heard　of　it。　〃Just　the　man　for　this　mission。〃
　〃What　mission！〃
　〃Sh；　not　so　loud。　I'm　on　a　secret　mission　for　the　President。　Personally。　It's　so　delicate；　even　the　Department　of　War　doesn't　know　about　it。　There'd　be　heavy　political　repercussions　if　it　ever　got　out。　I　have　to　deliver　a　secret　ultimatum　to　the　Emperor　of　Barrayar。　But　no　one　must　know　I've　left　Beta　Colony。〃
　〃Am　I　supposed　to　take　you　there？〃　he　asked；　amazed。　〃My　freight　run…〃
　I　believe　I　could　talk　this　kid　into　running　me　all　the　way　to　Barrayar　on　his　employer's　fuel；　she　thought。　But　it　would　be　the　end　of　his　career。　Conscience　controlled　soaring　ambition。
　〃No；　no。　Your　freight　run　must　appear　to　be　exactly　the　same　as　usual。　I'm　to　meet　a　secret　contact　on　Escobar。　You'll　simply　be　carrying　one　article　of　freight　that　isn't　on　the　manifest。　Me。〃
　〃I'm　not　cleared　for　passengers；　ma'am。〃
　〃Good　heavens；　don't　you　think　we　know　that？　Why　do　you　suppose　you　were　picked　over　all　the　other　candidates；　by　the　President　himself？〃
　〃Wow。　And　I　didn't　even　vote　for　him。〃
　He　took　her　aboard　the　freighter　shuttle；　and　made　her　a　seat　among　the　last…minute　cargo。　〃You　know　all　the　big　names　in　Survey；　don't　you；　ma'am？　Lightner；　Parnell。。。　Do　you　suppose　you　could　ever　introduce　me？〃
　〃I　don't　know。　But…you　will　get　to　meet　a　lot　of　the　big　names　from　the　Expeditionary　Force；　and　Security；　when　you　get　back　from　Escobar。　I　promise。〃　Will　you　ever。。。
　〃May　I　ask　you　a　personal　question；　ma'am？〃
　〃Why　not？　Everyone　else　does。〃
　〃Why　are　you　wearing　slippers？〃
　She　stared　down　at　her　feet。　〃I'm…sorry；　Pilot　Officer　Mayhew。　That's　classified。〃
　〃Oh。〃　He　went　forward　to　lift　ship。
　Alone　at　last；　she　leaned　her　forehead　against　the　cool　smooth　plastic　side　of　a　packing　case；　and　wept　silently　for　herself。
　
　CHAPTER　FOURTEEN
　It　was　about　noon；　local　time；　when　the　lightflyer　she　had　rented　in　Vorbarr　Sultana　brought　her　over　the　long　lake。　The　shore　was　bordered　by　vine…garlanded　slopes　backed　in　turn　by　steep；　scrub…covered　hills。　The　population　here　was　thinly　scattered；　except　around　the　lake；　which　had　a　village　at　its　foot。　A　cliffed　headland　at　the　waters　edge　was　crowned　by　the　ruins　of　an　old　fortification。　She　circled　it；　rechecking　her　map　on　which　it　was　a　principle　landmark。　Counting　northward　from　it　past　three　large　properties；　she　brought　her　flyer　down　on　a　driveway　that　wound　up　the　slope　to　a　fourth。
　A　rambling　old　house　built　of　native　stone　blended　with　the　vegetation　into　the　side　of　the　hill。　She　retracted　the　wings；　killed　the　engine；　pocketed　the　keys；　and　sat　staring　uncertainly　at　its　sun…warmed　front。
　A　tall　figure　in　a　strange　brown　and　silver　uniform　ambled　around　the　corner。　He　bore　a　weapon　in　a　holster　on　his　hip；　and　his　hand　rested　on　it　caressingly。　She　knew　then　that　Vorkosigan　must　be　nearby；　for　it　was　Sergeant　Bothari。　He　looked　to　be　in　good　health；　at　least　physically。
　She　hopped　out　of　the　lightflyer。　〃Uh；　good　afternoon；　Sergeant。　Is　Admiral　Vorkosigan　at　home？〃
　He　stared　at　her；　narrow…eyed；　then　his　face　seemed　to　clear；　and　he　saluted　her。　〃Captain　Naismith。　Ma'am。　Yes。〃
　〃You're　looking　a　lot　better　than　when　we　last　met。〃
　〃Ma'am？〃
　〃On　the　flagship。　At　Escobar。〃
　He　looked　troubled。　〃I…can't　remember　Escobar。　Admiral　Vorkosigan　says　I　was　there。〃
　〃I　see。〃　Took　away　your　memory；　did　they？　Or　did　you　do　it　yourself？　No　telling　now。　〃I'm　sorry　to　hear　that。　You　served　bravely。〃
　〃Did　I？　I　was　discharged；　after。〃
　〃Oh？　What's　the　uniform？〃
　〃Count　Vorkosigan's　livery；　ma'am。　He　took　me　into　his　personal　guard。〃
　〃I'm…sure　you'll　serve　him　well。　May　I　see　Admiral　Vorkosigan？〃
　〃He's　around　back；　ma'am。　You　can　go　up。〃　He　wandered　away；　evidently　making　some　kind　of　patrol　circuit。
　She　trudged　around　the　house；　the　sun　warm　on　her　back；　lacking　at　the　unaccustomed　skirts　of　her　dress　and　making　them　swirl　about　her　knees。　She　had　bought　it　yesterday　in　Vorbarr　Sultana；　partly　for　fun；　mostly　because　her　old　tan　Survey　fatigues　with　the　insignia　taken　off　collected　stares　in　the　streets。　Its　dark　floral　pattern　pleased　her　eye。　Her　hair　hung　loose；　parted　in　the　middle　and　held　back　from　her　face　by　two　enameled　bs；　also　purchased　yesterday。
　A　little　farther　up　the　hill　was　a　garden；　surrounded　by　a　low　grey　stone　wall。　No；　not　a　garden；　she　realized　as　she　approached：　a　graveyard。　An　old　man　in　old　coveralls　was　working　in　it；　kneeling　in　the　dirt　planting　young　flowers　from　a　flat。　He　squinted　up　at　her　as　she　pushed　through　the　little　gate。　She　did　not　mistake　his　identity。　He　was　a　little　taller　than　his　son；　and　his　musculature　had　gone　thin　and　stringy　with　age；　but　she　saw　Vorkosigan　in　the　bones　of　his　face。
　〃General　Count　Vorkosigan；　sir？〃　She　saluted　him　automatically；　then　realized　how　peculiar　it　must　look　in　the　dress。　He　rose　stiffly　to　his　feet。　〃My　name　is　Cap…my　name　is　Cordelia　Naismith。　I'm　a　friend　of　Aral's。　I…don't　know　if　he　mentioned　me　to　you。　Is　he　here？〃
　〃How　do　you　do；　madam。〃　He　came　more　or　less　to　attention；　and　gave　her　a　courteous　half…nod　that　was　achingly　familiar。　〃He　said　very　little；　and　it　did　not　lead　me　to　think　I　might　meet　you。〃　A　smile　creaked　across　his　face；　as　if　those　muscles　were　stiff　from　long　disuse。　〃You　have　no　idea　how　pleased　I　am　to　be　wrong。〃　He　gestured　over　his　shoulder　up　the　hill。　〃There　is　a　little　pavilion　at　the　top　of　our　property；　overlooking　the　lake。　He；　ah；　sits　up　there　most　of　the　time。〃
　〃I　see。〃　She　spotted　the　path；　winding　up　past　the　graveyard。　〃Um。　I'm　not　sure　how　to　put　this。。。　is　he　sober？〃
　He　glanced　at　the　sun；　and　pursed　leathery　lips。　〃Probably　not；　by　this　hour。　When　he　first　came　home　he　only　drank　after　dinner；　but　the　time　has　been　creeping　up；　gradually。　Very　disturbing；　but　there　isn't　much　I　can　do　about　it。　Although　if　that　gut　of　his　starts　bleeding　again　I　may。。。〃　He　broke　off；　looking　her　over　with　intense；　uncertain　speculation。　〃He　has　taken　this　Escobar　failure　unnecessarily　personally；　I　think。　His　resignation　was　not　in　the　least　called　for。〃
　She　deduced　the　old　Count　was　not　in　the　Emperor's　confidence　on　this　matter；　and　thought；　it　wasn't　its　failure　that　slew　his　spirit；　sir；　it　was　its　success。　Aloud；　she　said；　〃Loyalty　to　your　Emperor　was　a　very　great　point　of　honor　for　him；　I　know。〃　Almost　its　last　bastion；　and　your　Emperor　chose　to　flatten　it　to　its　foundations　in　the　service　of　his　great　need。。。
　〃Why　don't　you　go　on　up；〃　suggested　the　old　man。　〃Although；　this　isn't　a　very　good　day　for　him；　I　had　better　warn　you。〃
　〃Thank　you。　I　understand。〃
　He　stood　looking　after　her　as　she　left　the　walled　enclosure　and　went　on　up　the　winding　walk。　It　was　shaded　by　trees；　most　of　them　Earth　imports；　and　some　other　vegetation　that　had　to　be　local。　The　hedge　of　bush…like　things　with　flowers…she　assumed　they　were　flowers；　Dubauer　would　have　known…that　looked　like　pink　ostrich　feathers　was　particularly　striking。
　The　pavilion　was　a　faintly　oriental　structure　of　weathered　wood；　manding　a　fine　view　of　the　sparkling　lake。　Vines　climbed　it；　seeming　to　claim　it　for　the　rocky　soil。　It　was　open　on　all　four　sides；　and　furnished　with　a　couple　of　shabby　chaises；　a　large　faded　armchair　and　footstool；　and　a　small　table　holding　two　decanters；　some　glasses；　and　a　bottle　of　a　thick　white　liquid。
　Vorkosigan　lay　back　in　the　chair；　eyes　closed；　bare　feet　on　the　stool；　a　pair　of　sandals　kicked　carelessly　over　the　side。　Cordelia　paused　at　the　pavilion's　edge　to　study　him　with　a　sort　of　delicate　enjoyment。　He　wore　an　old　pair　of　black　uniform　trousers　and　a　very　civilian　shirt；　a　loud　and　unexpected　floral　print。　He　obviously　had　not　shaved　that　morning。　His　toes；　she　noticed；　had　a　little　wiry　black　hair　on　them　like　the　backs　of　his　fingers　and　hands。　She　decided　she　definitely　liked　his　feet；　indeed　could　easily　bee　quite　foolishly　fond　of　every　part　of　him。　His　generally　seedy　air　was　less　amusing。　Tired；　and　more　than　tired。　Ill。
　He　opened　his　eyes　to　slits　and　reached　for　a　crystal　tumbler　filled　with　an　amber　liquid；　then　appeared　to　change　his　mind　and　picked　up　the　white　bottle　instead。　A　small　measuring　cup　stood　beside　it；　which　he　ignored；　knocking　back　a　slug　of　the　white　liquid　directly　from　its　source　instead。　He　sneered　briefly　at　the　bottle；　then　traded　it　for　the　crystal　tumbler　and　took　a　drink；　rinsing　it　around　in　his　mouth　and　swallowing。　He　hunched　back　down　in　the　armchair；　at　a　slightly　lower　level　than　before。
　〃Liquid　breakfast？〃　Cordelia　inquired。　〃Is　it　as　tasty　as　oatmeal　and　blue　cheese　dressing？〃
　His　eyes　snapped　open。　〃You；〃　he　said　hoarsely　after　a　moment；　〃are　not　a　hallucination。〃　He　started　to　get　up；　then　appeared　to　think　better　of　it　and　sank　back　in　frozen　self…consciousness。　〃I　never　wanted　you　to　see。。。〃
　She　mounted　the　steps　to　the　shade；　pushed　a　chaise　closer　to　him；　and　seated　herself。　Blast；　she　thought；　I've　embarrassed　him；　catching　him　all　awry　like　this。　Off　balance。　How　to　put　him　at　his　ease？　I　would　have　him　at　his　ease；　always。。。　〃I　tried　to　call　ahead；　when　I　first　landed　yesterday；　but　I　kept　missing　you。　If　hallucinations　are　what　you　expect；　that　must　be　remarkable　stuff。　Pour　me　one　too；　please。〃
　〃I　think　you'd　prefer　the　other。〃　He　poured　from　the　second　decanter；　looking　shaken。　Curious；　she　tasted　from　his　glass。
　〃Faugh！　That's　not　wine。〃
　〃Brandy。〃
　〃At　this　hour？〃
　〃If　I　start　after　breakfast；〃　he　explained；　〃I　can　generally　achieve　total　unconsciousness　by　lunch。〃
　Pretty　close　to　lunch　now；　she　thought。　His　speech　had　misled　her　at　first；　being　perfectly　clear；　only　slower　and　more　hesitant　than　usual。　〃There　must　be　less　poisonous　general　anesthetics。〃　The　straw…pale　wine　he　had　poured　her　was　excellent；　although　dry　for　her　taste。　〃You　do　this　every　day？〃
　〃God；　no。〃　He　shuddered。　〃Two　or　three　times　a　week　at　most。　One　day　drinking；　the　next　day　being　ill…a　hangover　is　quite　as　good　as　being　drunk　for　taking　your　mind　off　other　things…the　next　day　running　errands　and　such　for　my　father。　He's　slowed　down　a　great　deal　in　the　last　few　years。〃
　He　was　gradually　pulling　himself　into　better　focus