lmb.shardsofhonor-第42部分

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　〃Allow　me　to　put　it　in　a　capsule。　What　the　Regency　requires　is　a　man　of　impeccable　rank；　no　more　than　middle…aged；　with　a　strong　military　background。　He　should　be　popular　with　his　officers　and　men；　well…known　to　the　public；　and　above　all　respected　by　the　General　Staff。　Ruthless　enough　to　hold　near…absolute　power　in　this　madhouse　for　sixteen　years；　and　honest　enough　to　hand　over　that　power　at　the　end　of　those　sixteen　years　to　a　boy　who　will　no　doubt　be　an　idiot…I　was；　at　that　age；　and　as　I　recall；　so　were　you…and；　oh　yes；　happily　married。　Reduces　the　temptation　of　being　bedroom　Emperor　via　the　Princess。　In　short；　yourself。〃
　Vortala　grinned。　Vorkosigan　frowned。　Cordelia's　stomach　sank。
　〃Oh；　no；〃　said　Vorkosigan　whitely。　〃You're　not　going　to　lay　that　thing　on　me。　It's　grotesque。　Me；　of　all　men；　to　step　into　his　father's　shoes；　speak　to　him　with　his　father's　voice；　bee　his　mother's　advisor…it's　worse　than　grotesque。　It's　obscene。　No。〃
　Vortala　looked　puzzled　at　his　vehemence。　〃A　little　decent　reticence　is　one　thing；　Aral；　but　let's　not　go　overboard。　If　you're　worried　about　the　vote；　it's　already　bagged。　Everyone　can　see　you're　the　man　of　the　hour。〃
　〃Everyone　most　certainly　will　not。　Vordarian　will　bee　my　instant　enemy；　and　so　will　the　Minister　of　the　West。　And　as　for　absolute　power；　you　sir；　know　what　a　false　chimera　that　notion　is。　A　shaky　illusion；　based　on…God　knows　what。　Magic。　Sleight　of　hand。　Believing　your　own　propaganda。〃
　The　Emperor　shrugged；　carefully；　cautious　of　dislodging　his　tubing。　〃Well；　it　won't　be　my　problem。　It　will　be　Prince　Gregor's；　and　his　mother's。　And　that　of…whatever　individual　can　be　persuaded　to　stand　by　them；　in　their　hour　of　need。　How　long　do　you　think　they　could　last；　without　help？　One　year？　Two？〃
　〃Six　months；〃　muttered　Vortala。
　Vorkosigan　shook　his　head。　〃You　pinned　me　with　that　'what　if'　argument　before　Escobar。　It　was　false　then…although　it　took　me　some　time　to　realize　it…and　it's　false　now。〃
　〃Not　false；〃　the　Emperor　denied。　〃Either　then　or　now。　I　must　so　believe。〃
　Vorkosigan　yielded　a　little。　〃Yes。　I　can　see　that　you　must。〃　His　face　tensed　in　frustration；　as　he　contemplated　the　man　in　the　bed。　〃Why　must　it　be　me？　Vortala　has　more　political　acuity。　The　Princess　has　a　better　right。　Quintillan　has　a　better　grasp　of　internal　affairs。　You　even　have　better　military　strategists。　Vorlakial。　Or　Kanzian。〃
　〃You　can't　name　a　third；　though；〃　murmured　the　Emperor。
　〃Well…perhaps　not。　But　you　must　see　my　point。　I　am　not　the　irreplaceable　man　which　for　some　reason　you　choose　to　imagine　me。〃
　〃On　the　contrary。　You　have　two　unique　advantages；　from　my　point　of　view。　I　have　kept　them　in　mind　from　the　day　we　killed　old　Yuri。　I　always　knew　I　wouldn't　live　forever…too　many　latent　poisons　in　my　chromosomes；　absorbed　when　I　was　fighting　the　Cetagandans　as　your　father's　military　apprentice；　and　careless　about　my　clean　techniques；　not　expecting　to　live　to　grow　old。〃　The　Emperor　smiled　again；　and　focused　on　Cordelia's　intent；　uncertain　face。　〃Of　the　five　men　with　a　better　right　by　blood　and　law　to　the　Imperium　of　Barrayar　than　mine；　your　name　heads　the　list。　Ha…〃　he　added；　〃I　was　right。　Didn't　think　you'd　told　her　that。　Tricky；　Aral。〃
　Cordelia；　faint；　turned　wide　grey　eyes　to　Vorkosigan。　He　shook　his　head　irritably；　〃Not　true。　Salic　descent。〃
　〃A　debate　we　shall　not　continue　here。　Be　that　as　it　may；　anyone　who　wishes　to　dislodge　Prince　Gregor　using　argument　based　on　blood　and　law　must　first　either　get　rid　of　you；　or　offer　you　the　Imperium。　We　all　know　how　hard　you　are　to　kill。　And　you　are　the　one　man…the　only　man　on　that　list　who　I　am　absolutely　certain；　by　the　scattered　remains　of　Yuri　Vorbarra；　truly　does　not　wish　to　be　Emperor。　Others　may　believe　you　coy。　I　know　better。〃
　〃Thank　you　for　that；　sir。〃　Vorkosigan　looked　extremely　saturnine。
　〃As　an　inducement；　I　point　out　that　you　can　be　no　better　placed　to　prevent　that　eventuality　than　as　Regent。　Gregor　is　your　lifeline；　boy。　Gregor　is　all　that　stands　between　you；　and　being　targeted。　Your　hope　of　heaven。〃
　Count　Vortala　turned　to　Cordelia。　〃Lady　Vorkosigan。　Won't　you　lend　us　your　vote？　You　seem　to　have　e　to　know　him　very　well。　Tell　him　he's　the　man　for　the　job。〃
　〃When　we　came　up　here；〃　said　Cordelia　slowly；　〃with　this　vague　talk　of　a　post；　I　thought　I　might　urge　him　to　take　it　up。　He　needs　work。　He's　made　for　it。　I　confess　I　wasn't　anticipating　that　offer。〃　She　stared　at　the　Emperor's　embroidered　bedspread；　caught　by　its　intricate　patterns　and　colors。　〃But　I've　always　thought…tests　are　a　gift。　And　great　tests　are　a　great　gift。　To　fail　the　test　is　a　misfortune。　But　to　refuse　the　test　is　to　refuse　the　gift；　and　something　worse；　more　irrevocable；　than　misfortune。　Do　you　understand　what　I'm　saying？〃
　〃No；〃　said　Vortala。
　〃Yes；〃　said　Vorkosigan。
　〃I've　always　felt　that　theists　were　more　ruthless　than　atheists；〃　said　Ezar　Vorbarra。
　〃If　you　think　it's　really　wrong；〃　said　Cordelia　to　Vorkosigan；　〃that's　one　thing。　Maybe　that's　the　test。　But　if　it's　only　fear　of　failure…you　have　not　the　right　to　refuse　the　gift　for　that。〃
　〃It's　an　impossible　job。〃
　〃That　happens；　sometimes。〃
　He　took　her　aside；　quietly；　to　the　tall　windows。　〃Cordelia…you　have　not　the　first　conception　of　what　kind　of　life　it　would　be。　Did　you　think　our　public　men　surrounded　themselves　with　liveried　retainers　for　decoration？　If　they　have　a　moment's　ease；　it　is　at　the　cost　of　twenty　men's　vigilance。　No　separate　peace　permitted。　Three　generations　of　Emperors　have　spent　themselves　trying　to　untangle　the　violence　in　our　affairs；　and　we're　still　not　e　to　the　end　of　it。　I　haven't　the　hubris　to　think　I　can　succeed　where　he　failed。〃　His　eyes　flicked　in　the　direction　of　the　great　bed。
　Cordelia　shook　her　head。　〃Failure　doesn't　frighten　me　as　much　as　it　used　to。　But　I'll　quote　you　a　quote；　if　you　like。　'Exile；　for　no　other　motive　than　ease；　would　be　the　last　defeat；　with　no　seed　of　future　victory　in　it。'　I　thought　the　man　who　said　that　was　on　to　something。〃
　Vorkosigan　turned　his　head；　to　some　unfocused　distance。　〃It's　not　the　desire　for　ease　I'm　talking　about　now。　It's　fear。　Simple；　squalid　terror。〃　He　smiled　ruefully　at　her。　〃You　know；　I　fancied　myself　quite　a　bravo　once；　until　I　met　you　and　rediscovered　funk。　I'd　forgotten　what　it　was　to　have　my　heart　in　the　future。〃
　〃Yeah；　me　too。〃
　〃I　don't　have　to　take　it。　I　can　turn　it　down。〃
　〃Can　you？〃　Their　eyes　met。
　〃It's　not　the　life　you　were　anticipating；　when　you　left　Beta　Colony。〃
　〃I　didn't　e　for　a　Me。　I　came　for　you。　Do　you　want　it？〃
　He　laughed；　shakily。　〃God；　what　a　question。　It's　the　chance　of　a　lifetime。　Yes。　I　want　it。　But　it's　poison；　Cordelia。　Power　is　a　bad　drug。　Look　what　it　did　to　him。　He　was　sane　too；　once；　and　happy。　I　think　I　could　turn　down　almost　any　other　offer　without　a　blink。〃
　Vortala　leaned　on　his　stick　ostentatiously；　and　called　across　the　room；　〃Make　up　your　mind；　Aral。　My　legs　are　beginning　to　ache。　But　for　your　delicacy…it's　a　job　any　number　of　men　I　know　would　kill　for。　And　you're　getting　it　offered　free　and　clear。〃
　Only　Cordelia　and　the　Emperor　knew　why　Vorkosigan　barked　a　short　laugh　at　this。　He　sighed；　gazed　at　his　master；　and　nodded。
　〃Well；　old　man。　I　thought　you　might　find　a　way　to　rule　from　your　grave。〃
　〃Yes。　I　propose　to　haunt　you　continually。〃　A　little　silence　fell　while　the　Emperor　digested　his　victory。　〃You'll　need　to　start　assembling　your　personal　staff　immediately。　I'm　willing　Captain　Negri　to　my　grandson　and　the　Princess；　for　Security。　But　I　thought　perhaps　you　might　like　to　have　mander　Illyan；　for　yourself。〃
　〃Yes。　I　think　he　and　I　might　deal　very　well　together。〃　A　pleasant　thought　seemed　to　strike　a　light　in　Vorkosigan's　dark　face。　〃And　I　know　just　the　man　for　the　job　of　personal　secretary。　He'll　need　a　promotion　for　it…a　lieutenancy。〃
　〃Vortala　will　take　care　of　it　for　you。〃　The　Emperor　lay　back　wearily；　and　cleared　his　throat　of　phlegm　again；　lips　leaden。　〃Take　care　of　it　all。　I　suppose　you'd　better　send　that　doctor　back　in。〃　He　waved　them　out　with　a　tired　twitch　of　one　hand。
　Vorkosigan　and　Cordelia　emerged　from　the　Imperial　Residence　into　the　warm　air　of　the　late　summer　evening；　soft　and　grey　with　humidity　from　the　nearby　river。　They　were　trailed　by　their　new　bodyguards；　trim　in　the　familiar　black　uniforms。　There　had　been　a　lengthy　conference　with　Vortala；　Negri；　and　Illyan。　Cordelia's　head　swam　with　the　number　and　detail　of　subjects　covered。　Vorkosigan；　she'd　noticed　enviously；　seemed　to　have　no　trouble　keeping　up；　indeed；　he'd　set　the　pace。
　His　face　seemed　focused；　more　electric　than　she'd　seen　it　since　she'd　e　to　Barrayar；　filled　with　an　eager　tension。　He's　alive　again；　she　thought。　Looking　out；　not　in；　forward；　not　back。　Like　when　I　first　met　him。　I'm　glad。　Whatever　the　risks。
　Vorkosigan　snapped　his　fingers　and　said　〃Tabs；〃　out　loud；　cryptically。　〃First　stop　Vorkosigan　House。〃
　They　had　driven　past　the　Count's　official　residence　on　their　last　trip　to　Vorbarr　Sultana；　but　this　was　the　first　time　Cordelia　had　been　in　it。　Vorkosigan　took　the　wide　circular　staircase　two　steps　at　a　time　to　his　own　room。　It　was　a　large　chamber；　simply　furnished；　overlooking　the　back　garden。　It　had　the　same　feel　as　Cordelia's　own　room　in　her　mother's　apartment；　of　frequent　and　prolonged　disoccupation；　with　archeological　layers　of　past　passions　stuffed　into　drawers　and　closets。
　Not　surprisingly；　there　was　evidence　of　interest　in　all　kinds　of　strategy　games；　and　civil　and　military　history。　More　surprising　was　a　portfolio　of　yellowing　pen…and…ink　drawings；　run　across　as　he　sorted　through　a　drawer　full　of　medals；　mementos；　and　pure　junk。
　〃Did　you　do　these？〃　Cordelia　asked　curiously。　〃They're　pretty　good。〃
　〃When　I　was　a　teenager；〃　he　explained；　still　sorting。　〃Some　later。　I　gave　it　up　in　my　twenties。　Too　busy。〃
　His　medal　and　campaign　ribbon　collection　showed　a　peculiar　history。　The　early；　lesser　ones　were　carefully　arranged　and　displayed　on　velvet…covered　cards；　with　notes　attached。　The　later；　greater　ones　were　piled　haphazardly　in　a　jar。　One；　which　Cordelia　recognized　as　a　high　Barrayaran　award　for　valor；　was　shoved　loose　in　the　back　of　the　drawer；　its　ribbon　crumpled　and　tangled。
　She　sat　on　his　bed　and　sorted　through　the　portfolio。　They　were　mostly　met