srdonaldson.thepowerthatpreserves-第75部分

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　they　seemed　to　sense　that　he　needed　them。　And　they　had　questions　of　their　own。　But　he　felt　unready　for　the　things　he　would　have　to　say。　After　a　silence；　he　asked　painfully；'　Triock　summoned　me…and　he's　dead。　Why　am　I　still　here？〃
　　　　Foamfollower　mused　briefly；　then　said；　〃Perhaps　because　the　Law　of　Death　has　been　broken…perhaps　it　was　that　Law　which　formerly　sent　you　from　the　Land　when　your　summoner　died。　Or　perhaps　it　is　because　I　also　had　a　hand　in　this　call。〃
　　　　Yes；　Covenant　sighed　to　himself。　His　debt　to　Triock　was　hardly　less　than　what　he　owed　Foamfollower。
　　　　He　could　not　shirk　the　responsibility　any　longer；　he　forced　himself　to　describe　what　had　happened　to　Lena。
　　　　His　voice　was　dull　as　he　spoke　of　her…an　old　woman　brought　to　a　bloody　and　graveless　end　because　in　her　confusion　she　clung　to　the　man　who　had　harmed　her。　And　her　death　was　only　the　most　recent　tragedy　in　her　family。　First　and　last；　her　people　had　borne　the　brunt　of　him：　Trell　Gravelingas；　Atiaran　Trell…mate；　High　Lord　Elena；　Lena　herself…he　had　ruined　them　all。　Such　things　altered　him；　made　a　different　man　of　him。　That　made　it　possible　for　him　to　ask　another　question　after　he　had　told　all　he　knew　of　his　own　tale。
　　　　〃Foamfollower〃…he　framed　his　inquiry　as　carefully　as　he　could…　〃it's　none　of　my　business。　But　Pietten　said　some　terrible　things　about　you。　Or　he　meant　them　to　be　terrible。　He　said…〃　But　he　could　not　say　the　words。　No　matter　how　he　uttered　them；　they　would　sound　like　an　accusation。
　　　　The　Giant　sighed；　and　his　whole　frame　sagged。　He　studied　his　intertwined　hands　as　if　somewhere　in　their　clasped　gentleness　and　butchery　were　a　secret　he　could　not　unclose；　but　he　no　longer　evaded　the　question。　〃He　said　that　I　betrayed　my　kinfolk…that　the　Giants　of　Seareach　died　to　the　last　child　at　the　hands　of　turiya　Raver　because　I　abandoned　them。　It　is　true。〃
　　　　Foamfollower！　Covenant　moaned。　My　friend！　Sorrow　welled　up　in　him；　almost　made　him　weep　again。
　　　　Abstractedly；　Bannor　said；　〃Many　things　were　lost　in　The　Grieve　that　day。〃
　　　　〃　Yes。〃　Foamfollower　blinked　as　if　he　were　trying　to　hold　back　tears；　but　his　eyes　were　dry；　as　parched　as　a　wilderland。　〃Yes…many　things。　Among　them　I　was　the　least。
　　　　〃Ah；　Covenant；　how　can　I　tell　you　of　it？　This　tongue　has　no　words　long　enough　for　the　tale。　No　word　can　enpass　the　love　for　a　lost　homeland；　or　the　anguish　of　diminishing　seed；　or　the　pride…the　pride　in　fidelity…　That　fidelity　was　our　only　reply　to　our　extinction。　We　could　not　have　borne　our　decline　if　we　had　not　taken　pride。
　　　　〃So　my　people…the　Giants…I　also；　in　my　own　way…the　Giants　were　filled　with　horror…with　abhorrence　so　deep　that　it　numbed　the　very　marrow　of　their　bones…when　they　saw　their　pride　riven…torn　from　them　like　rotten　sails　in　the　wind。　They　foundered　at　the　sight。　They　saw　the　portent　of　their　hope　of　Home…the　three　brothers…changed　from　fidelity　to　the　most　potent　ill　by　one　small　stroke　of　the　Despiser's　evil。　Who　in　the　Land　could　hope　to　stand　against　a　Giant…Raver？　Thus　the　Unhomed　became　the　means　to　destroy　that　to　which　they　had　held　themselves　true。　And　in　horror　at　the　naught　of　their　fidelity；　their　folly　practiced　through　long　centuries　of　pride；　they　were　transfixed。　Their　revulsion　left　no　room　in　them　for　thought　or　resistance　or　choice。　Rather　than　behold　the　cost　of　their　failure…rather　than　risk　the　chance　that　more　of　them　would　be　made　Soulcrusher's　servants…they…they　elected　to　be　slain。
　　　　〃I　also…in　my　way；　I　was　horrified　as　well。　But　I　had　already　seen　what　they　had　not；　until　that　moment。　I　had　seen　myself　bee　what　I　hated。　Alone　of　all　my　kindred；　I　was　not　surprised。　It　was　not　the　vision　of　a　Giant…Raver　which　horrified　me。　It　was　my…my　own　people。
　　　　〃Ah！　Stone　and　Sea！　They　appalled　me。　I　stormed　at　them…I　ran　through　The　Grieve　like　a　dark　sea　of　madness；　howling　at　their　abandonment；　raging　to　strike　one　spark　of　resistance　in　the　drenched　tinder　of　their　hearts。　But　they…they　put　away　their　tools；　and　banked　their　fires；　and　made　ready　their　homes　as　if　in　preparation　for　departure…''　Abruptly；　his　suppressed　passion　broke　into　a　cry。　〃My　people！　I　could　not　bear　it！　I　fled　them　with　abjection　crowding　at　my　heart…fled　them　lest　I；　too；　should　fall　into　their　dismay。　Therefore　they　were　slain。　I　who　might　have　fought　the　Raver　deserted　them　in　the　deepest　blackness　of　their　need。〃　Unable　to　contain　himself　any　longer；　he　heaved　to　his　feet。　His　raw；　scourged　voice　rasped　thickly　in　his　throat。　〃I　am　unclean。　I　must…wash。〃
　　　　Holding　himself　stiffly　upright；　he　turned　and　lumbered　away　toward　the　river。
　　　　The　helplessness　of　Covenant's　pain　came　out　as　anger。　His　own　voice　shook　as　he　muttered　to　Banner；　〃If　you　say　one　word　to　blame　him；　I　swear…〃
　　　　Then　he　stopped　himself。　He　had　accused　Bannor　unjustly　too　often　in　the　past；　the　Bloodguard　had　long　ago　earned　better　treatment　than　this　from　him。　But　Bannor　only　shrugged。　〃I　am　a　Haruchai；　〃　he　said。　〃We　also　are　not　immune。　Corruption　wears　many　faces。　Blame　is　a　more　enticing　face　than　others；　but　it　is　none　the　less　a　mask　for　the　Despiser。''
　　　　His　speech　made　Covenant　look　at　him　closely。　Something　came　up　between　them　that　had　never　been　laid　to　rest；　neither　on　Gallows　Howe　nor　in　the　Ramen　covert。　It　wore　the　aspect　of　habitual　Bloodguard　distrust；　but　as　he　met　Banner's　eyes；　Covenant　sensed　that　the　issue　was　a　larger　one。
　　　　Without　inflection；　Bannor　went　on：　〃Hate　and　vengeance　are　also　masks。〃
　　　　Covenant　was　struck　by　how　much　the　Bloodguard　had　aged。　His　mortality　had　accelerated。　His　hair　was　the　same　silver　as　his　eyebrows；　his　skin　had　a　sere　appearance；　as　if　it　had　started　to　wither；　and　his　wrinkles　looked　oddly　fatal；　like　gullies　of　death　in　his　countenance。　Yet　his　steady　dispassion　seemed　as　plete　as　ever。　He　did　not　look　like　a　man　who　had　deserted　his　sworn　loyalty　to　the　Lords。
　　　　〃Ur…Lord；〃　he　said　evenly；　〃what　will　you　do？〃
　　　　〃Do？〃　Covenant　did　his　best　to　match　the　Bloodguard；　though　he　could　not　look　at　Banner's　aging　without　remorse。　〃I　still　have　work　to　do。　I've　got　to　go　to　Foul's　Creche。〃
　　　　〃For　what　purpose？〃
　　　　〃I've　got　to　stop　him。〃
　　　　〃High　Lord　Elena　also　strove　to　stop　him。　You　have　seen　the　oute。〃
　　　　〃Yes。〃　Covenant　did　full　justice　to　Banner's　statement。　But　he　did　not　falter。　〃I've　got　to　find　a　better　answer　than　she　did。〃
　　　　〃Do　you　make　this　choice　out　of　hate？〃
　　　　He　met　the　question　squarely。　〃I　don't　know。〃
　　　　〃Then　why　do　you　go？〃
　　　　〃Because　I　must。〃　That　must　carried　the　weight　of　an　irrefusable　necessity。　The　escape　he　had　envisioned　when　he　had　left　Morinmoss　did　not　suffice。　The　Land's　need　held　him　like　a　harness。　〃I've　done　so　many　things　wrong。　I've　got　to　try　to　make　them　right。〃
　　　　Bannor　considered　this　for　a　moment；　then　asked　bluntly；　〃Do　you　know　then　how　to　make　use　of　the　wild　magic？〃
　　　　〃No；〃　Covenant　answered。　〃Yes。〃　He　hesitated；　not　because　he　doubted　his　reply；　but　because　he　was　reluctant　to　say　it　aloud。　But　his　sense　of　what　was　unresolved　between　him　and　Bannor　had　bee　clearer；　something　more　than　distrust　was　at　stake。　〃I　don't　know　how　to　call　it　up；　do　anything　with　it。　But　I　know　how　to　trigger　it。〃　He　remembered　vividly　how　Bannor　had　pelled　him　to　help　High　Lord　Prothall　summon　the　Fire…Lions　of　Mount　Thunder。　〃If　I　can　get　to　the　Illearth　Stone…I　can　do　something。〃
　　　　The　Bloodguard's　voice　was　hard。　〃The　Stone　corrupts。〃
　　　　〃I　know。〃　He　understood　Banner's　point　vividly。　〃I　know。　That's　why　I　have　to　get　to　it。　That's　what　this　is　all　about…everything。　That's　why　Foul　has　been　manipulating　me。　That's　why　Elena…why　Elena　did　what　she　did。　That's　why　Mhoram　trusted　me。〃
　　　　Bannor　did　not　relent。　〃Will　it　be　another　Desecration？〃
　　　　Covenant　had　to　steady　himself　before　he　could　reply。　〃I　hope　not。　I　don't　want　it　to　be。〃
　　　　In　answer；　the　Bloodguard　got　to　his　feet。　Looking　soberly　down　at　the　Unbeliever；　he　said；　〃Ur…Lord　Covenant；　I　will　not　acpany　you　for　this　purpose。〃
　　　　〃Not？〃　Covenant　protested。　In　the　back　of　his　mind；　he　had　been　counting　on　Banner's　panionship。
　　　　〃No。　I　no　longer　serve　Lords。〃
　　　　More　harshly　than　he　intended；　Covenant　rasped；　〃So　you've　decided　to　turn　your　back？〃
　　　　〃No。''　Bannor　denied　the　charge　flatly。　〃What　help　I　can；　I　will　give。　All　the　Bloodguard　knowledge　of　the　Spoiled　Plains；　of　Kurash　Qwellinir　and　Hotash　Slay；　I　will　share　with　you。　But　Ridjeck　Thome；　Corruption's　seat…there　I　will　not　go。　The　deepest　wish　of　the　Bloodguard　was　to　fight　the　Despiser　in　his　home；　pure　service　against　Corruption。　This　desire　misled。　I　have　put　aside　such　things。　My　proper　place　now　is　with　the　Ranyhyn　and　their　Ramen；　in　the　exile　of　the　mountains。〃
　　　　Covenant　seemed　to　hear　an　anguish　behind　the　inflectionless　tone　of　the　speech…an　anguish　that　hurt　him　in　the　same　way　that　this　man　always　hurt　him。　〃Ah；　Bannor；〃　he　sighed。　〃Are　you　so　ashamed　of　what　you　were？〃
　　　　Bannor　cocked　a　white　eyebrow　at　the　question；　as　if　it　came　close　to　the　truth。　〃I　am　not　shamed；〃　he　said　distinctly。　〃But　I　am　saddened　that　so　many　centuries　were　required　to　teach　us　the　limits　of　our　worth。　We　went　too　far；　in　pride　and　folly。　Mortal　men　should　not　give　up　wives　and　sleep　and　death　for　any　service…lest　the　face　of　failure　bee　too　abhorrent　to　be　endured。〃　He　paused　almost　as　if　he　were　hesitating；　then　concluded；　〃Have　you　forgotten　that　High　Lord　Elena　carved　our　faces　as　one　in　her　last　marrowmeld　work？〃
　　　　〃No。〃　Bannor　had　moved　him。　His　response　was　both　an　assertion　and　a　promise。　〃I　will　never　forget。〃
　　　　Bannor　nodded　slowly。　Then　he　said；　〃I；　too；　must　wash；〃　and　strode　away　toward　the　river　without　a　backward　glance。
　　　　Covenant　watched　him　go　for　a　moment；　then　leaned　his　head　back　against　the　warmth　of　the　Colossus　and　closed　his　sore　eyes。　He　knew　that　he　should　not　delay　his　departure　any　longer；　that　he　increased　his　risks　every　moment　he　remained　where　he　was。　Lord　Foul　was　certain　to　know　what　had　happened；　he　would　feel　the　sudden　destruction　of　the　Staff；　and　would　search　until　he　found　the　explanation；　perhaps　by　pelling　Elena　once　more　out　of　her　death　to　answer　his　questions。　Then　preparations　would　be　made　against　the　Unbeli