gc.thewhiterose-第23部分

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　　　Once　the　flames　rose　I　found　that　the　place　had　been　used　before。　Smoke　had　blackened　the　rocks。　Native　humans；　probably。　They　wander　in　small　bands。　We　have　little　intercourse　with　them。　They　have　no　interest　in　the　world　struggle。
　　　Will　failed　me　sometime　after　the　second　hour。　I　fell　asleep。
　　　The　nightmare　found　me。　And　found　me　unshielded　by　amulets　or　null。
　　　She　came。
　　　It　had　been　years。　Last　time　it　was　to　report　the　final　defeat　of　her　husband　in　the　affair　at　Juniper。
　　　A　golden　cloud；　like　dust　motes　dancing　in　a　sunbeam。　An　all…over　feeling　of　being　awake　while　sleeping。　Calmness　and　fear　together。　An　inability　to　move。　All　the　old　symptoms。
　　　A　beautiful　woman　formed　in　the　cloud；　a　woman　out　of　daydream。　The　sort　you　hope　to　meet　someday；　knowing　there　is　no　chance。　I　cannot　say　what　she　wore；　if　she　wore　anything。　My　universe　consisted　of　her　face　and　the　terror　its　presence　inspired。
　　　Her　smile　was　not　at　all　cold。　Long　ago；　for　some　reason；　she　took　an　interest　in　me。　I　supposed　she　retained　some　residue　of　the　old　affection；　as　one　does　for　a　pet　long　dead。
　　　〃Physician。〃　Breeze　in　the　reeds　beside　the　waters　of　eternity。　The　whisper　of　angels。　But　never　could　she　make　me　forget　the　reality　whence　the　voice　sprang。
　　　Nor　was　she　ever　so　gauche　as　to　tempt　me；　either　with　promises　or　herself。　That；　perhaps；　is　one　reason　I　think　she　felt　a　certain　fondness。　When　she　used　me；　she　gave　it　to　me　straight　going　in。
　　　I　could　not　respond。
　　　〃You　are　safe。　Long　ago；　by　your　standard　of　time；　I　said　I　would　remain　in　touch。　I　have　been　unable。　You　cut　me　off。　I　have　been　trying　for　weeks。〃
　　　The　nightmares　explained。
　　　〃What？〃　I　squeaked　like　Goblin。
　　　〃Join　me　at　Charm。　Be　my　historian。〃
　　　As　always　when　she　touched　me；　I　was　baffled。　She　seemed　to　consider　me　outside　the　struggle　while　yet　a　part　of　it。　On　the　Stair　of　Tear；　on　the　eve　of　the　most　savage　sorcerous　struggle　ever　I　witnessed；　she　came　to　promise　me　I　would　e　to　no　harm。　She　seemed　intrigued　with　my　lesser　role　as　pany　historian。　Back　when；　she　insisted　I　record　events　as　they　happened。　Without　regard　to　pleasing　anyone。　I　had　done　so　within　the　limits　of　my　prejudices。
　　　〃The　heat　in　the　crucible　is　rising；　physician。　Your　White　Rose　is　crafty。　Her　attack　behind　the　Limper　was　a　grand　stroke。　But　insignificant　on　the　broader　canvas。　Don't　you　agree？〃
　　　How　could　I　argue？　I　did　agree。
　　　〃As　your　spies　have　no　doubt　reported；　five　armies　stand　poised　to　cleanse　the　Plain　of　Fear。　It　is　a　strange　and　unpredictable　land。　But　it　will　not　withstand　what　is　being　marshaled。〃
　　　Again　I　could　not　argue；　for　I　believed　her。　I　could　but　do　what　Darling　so　often　spoke　of：　Buy　time。　〃You　may　be　surprised。〃
　　　〃Perhaps。　Surprises　have　been　calculated　into　my　plans。　e　out　of　that　cold　waste；　Croaker。　e　to　the　Tower。　Bee　my　historian。〃
　　　This　was　as　near　temptation　as　ever　she　had　e。　She　spoke　to　a　part　of　me　I　do　not　understand；　a　part　almost　willing　to　betray　rades　of　decades。　If　I　went；　there　was　so　much　I　would　know。　So　many　answers　illuminated。　So　many　curiosities　satisfied。
　　　〃You　escaped　us　at　Queen's　Bridge。〃
　　　Heat　climbed　my　neck。　During　our　years　on　the　run　the　Lady's　forces　had　overtaken　us　several　times。　Queen's　Bridge　was　the　worst。　A　hundred　brothers　had　fallen　there。　And　to　my　shame；　I　left　the　Annals　behind；　buried　in　the　river　bank。　Four　hundred　years　worth　of　pany　history；　abandoned。
　　　There　was　just　so　much　that　could　be　carried　away。　The　papers　down　in　the　Hole　were　critical　to　our　future。　I　took　them　instead　of　the　Annals。　But　I　suffer　frequent　bouts　of　guilt。　I　must　answer　the　shades　of　brethren　who　have　gone　before。　Those　Annals　are　the　Black　pany。　While　they　exist；　the　pany　lives。
　　　〃We　escaped　and　escaped；　and　will　continue　to　escape。　It　is　fated。〃
　　　She　smiled；　amused。　〃I　have　read　your　Annals；　Croaker。　New　and　old。〃
　　　I　began　throwing　wood　onto　the　embers　of　my　fire。　I　was　not　dreaming。　〃You　have　them？〃　Till　that　moment　I　had　silenced　guilt　with　promises　to　recover　them。
　　　〃They　were　found　after　the　battle。　They　came　to　me。　I　was　pleased。　You　are　honest；　as　historians　go。〃
　　　〃Thank　you。　I　try。〃
　　　〃e　to　Charm。　There　is　a　place　for　you　in　the　Tower。　You　can　see　the　grand　canvas　from　here。〃
　　　〃I　can't。〃
　　　〃I　cannot　shield　you　there。　If　you　stay；　you　must　face　what　befalls　your　Rebel　friends。　The　Limper　mands　that　campaign。　I　will　not　interfere。　He　is　not　what　he　was。　You　hurt　him。　And　he　had　to　be　hurt　more　to　be　saved。　He　has　not　forgiven　you　that；　Croaker。〃
　　　〃I　know。〃　How　many　times　had　she　used　my　name？　In　all　our　contacts　previously；　over　years；　she　had　used　it　but　once。
　　　〃Don't　let　him　take　you。〃
　　　A　slight；　twisted　bit　of　humor　rose　from　somewhere　inside　me。　〃You　are　a　failure。　Lady。〃
　　　She　was　taken　aback。
　　　〃Fool　that　I　am；　I　recorded　my　romances　in　the　Annals。　You　read　them。　You　know　I　never　characterized　you　as　black。　Not。　I　think；　as　I　would　characterize　your　husband。　I　suspect　an　unconsciously　sensed　truth　lies　beneath　the　silliness　of　those　romances。〃
　　　〃Indeed？〃
　　　〃I　don't　think　you　are　black。　I　think　you're　just　trying。　I　think　that；　for　all　the　wickedness　you've　done；　part　of　the　child　that　was　remains　untainted。　A　spark　remains；　and　you　can't　extinguish　it。〃
　　　Unchallenged；　I　became　more　daring。　〃I　think　you've　selected　me　as　a　symbolic　sop　to　that　spark。　I　am　a　reclamation　project　meant　to　satisfy　a　hidden　streak　of　decency；　the　way　my　friend　Raven　reclaimed　a　child　who　became　the　White　Rose。　You　read　the　Annals。　You　know　to　what　depths　Raven　sank　once　he　concentrated　all　decency　in　one　cup。　Better；　perhaps；　that　he　had　had　none　at　all。　Juniper　might　still　exist。　So　might　he。〃
　　　〃Juniper　was　a　boil　overdue　for　lancing。　I　am　not　e　to　be　mocked；　physician。　I　will　not　be　made　to　look　weak　even　before　an　audience　of　one。〃
　　　I　started　to　protest。
　　　〃For　I　know　that　this；　too；　will　end　up　in　your　Annals。〃
　　　She　knew　me。　But　then；　she　had　had　me　before　the　Eye。
　　　〃e　to　the　Tower；　Croaker。　I　demand　no　oath。〃
　　　〃Lady　。　。　。　〃
　　　〃Even　the　Taken　bind　themselves　with　deadly　oaths。　You　may　remain　free。　Just　do　what　you　do。　Heal；　and　record　the　truth。　What　you　would　do　anywhere。　You　have　value　not　to　be　wasted　out　there。〃
　　　Now　there　was　a　sentiment　with　which　I　could　agree　wholeheartedly。　I　would　take　it　back　and　rub　some　people's　noses　in　it。　〃Say　what？〃
　　　She　started　to　speak。　I　raised　a　warning　hand。　I　had　spoken　to　myself；　not　to　her。　Was　that　a　footfall？　Yes。　Something　big　ing。　Something　moving　slowly；　wearily。
　　　She　sensed　it；　too。　An　eye　blink　and　she　was　gone；　her　departure　sucking　something　from　my　mind；　so　that　once　more　I　was　not　certain　I　had　not　dreamed　everything；　for　all　that　every　word　remained　immutably　inscribed　on　the　stone　of　my　mind。
　　　I　shuffled　brush　onto　my　fire；　backed　into　a　crack　behind　the　dagger　that　was　the　only　weapon　I'd　had　sense　enough　to　bring。
　　　It　came　closer。　Then　paused。　Then　came　on。　My　heartbeat　increased。　Something　thrust　into　the　firelight。
　　　〃Toadkiller　Dog！　What　the　hell；　hey？　What're　you　doing？　e　on　in　out　of　the　cold；　boy。〃　The　words　tumbled　out；　bearing　fear　away。　〃Boy；　will　Tracker　be　glad　to　see　you。　What　happened　to　you？〃
　　　He　came　forward　cautiously；　looking　twice　as　mangy　as　ever。　He　dropped　onto　his　belly；　rested　his　chin　on　forepaws；　closed　one　eye。
　　　〃I　don't　have　any　food。　I'm　sort　of　lost　myself。　You're　damned　lucky；　know　that？　Making　it　this　far。　The　plain　is　a　bad　place　to　be　on　your　own。〃
　　　Right　then　that　old　mongrel　looked　like　he　agreed。　Body　language；　if　you　will。　He　had　survived；　but　it　had　not　been　easy。
　　　I　told　him；　〃Sun　es　up；　we'll　head　back。　Goblin　and　One…Eye　got　lost；　it's　their　own　tough　luck。〃
　　　After　Toadkiller　Dog's　arrival　I　rested　better。　I　guess　the　old　alliance　is　imprinted　on　people；　too。　I　was　confident　he　would　warn　me　if　trouble　beckoned。
　　　e　morning　we　found　the　creek　and　headed　for　the　Hole。　I　stopped；　as　I　often　do；　to　approach　Old　Father　Tree　for　a　little　one…sided　conversation　about　what　he　had　seen　during　his　long　sentinelship。　The　dog　would　not　e　anywhere　near。　Weird。　But　so　what？　Weird　is　the　order　of　the　day　on　the　Plain。
　　　I　found　One…Eye　and　Goblin　snoring；　sleeping　in。　They　had　returned　to　the　Hole　only　minutes　after　my　departure　in　search　of　them。　Bastards。　I　would　redress　the　balance　when　the　chance　came。
　　　I　drove　them　crazy　by　not　mentioning　my　night　out。
　　　〃Did　it　work？〃　I　demanded。　Down　the　tunnel　Tracker　was　having　a　noisy　reunion　with　his　mutt。
　　　〃Sort　of；〃　Goblin　said。　He　was　not　enthusiastic。
　　　〃Sort　of？　What's　sort　of！　Does　it　work　or　doesn't　it？〃
　　　〃Well；　what　we　got　is　a　problem。　Mainly；　we　can　keep　the　Taken　from　locating　you。　From　getting　a　fix　on　you；　so　to　speak。〃
　　　Obfuscation　is　a　sure　sign　of　trouble　with　this　guy。　〃But？　But　me　the　but；　Goblin。〃
　　　〃If　you　go　outside　the　null；　there's　no　hiding　the　fact　that　you　are　out。〃
　　　〃Great。　Real　great。　What　good　are　you　guys；　anyway？〃
　　　〃It's　not　that　bad；〃　One…Eye　said。　〃You　wouldn't　attract　any　attention　unless　they　find　out　you're　out　from　some　other　source。　I　mean；　they　wouldn't　be　watching　for　you；　would　they？　No　reason　to。　So　it's　just　as　good　as　if　we　got　it　to　do　everything　we　wanted。〃
　　　〃Crap！　You　better　start　praying　that　next　letter　es　through。　Because　if　I　go　out　and　get　my　ass　killed；　guess　who's　going　to　haunt　whom　forever？〃
　　　〃Darling　wouldn't　send　you　out。〃
　　　〃Bet？　She'll　go　through　three　or　four　days　of　soul…searching。　But　she'll　send　me。　Because　that　last　letter　will　give　us　the　key。〃
　　　Sudden　fear。　Had　the　Lady　probed　my　mind？
　　　〃What's　the　matter；　Croaker？〃
　　　I　was　saved　a　lie　by　Tracker's　advent。　He　bounced　in　and　pumped　my　hand　like　a　mad　fool。　〃Thank　you；　Croaker。　Thanks　for　bringing　him　home。〃　Out　he　went。
　　　〃What　the　hell　was　that？〃　Goblin　asked。
　　　〃I　brought　his　dog　home。〃
　　　〃Weird。〃
　　　One…Eye　chortled。　〃The　pot　calling　the　kettle　black。〃
　　　〃Yeah？　Lizard　snot。　Want　me　to　tell　you　about　weird？〃
　　　〃Stow　it；〃　I　said。　〃If　I　get　sent　out　of　here　I　want　this　stuff　in　perfect　order。　I　just　wish　we　had　people　who　could　read　this　junk。〃
　　　〃Maybe　I　can　help。〃　Tracker　was　back。　The　big　dumb　lout。　A　devil　with　a　swo