gc.thewhiterose-第39部分

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y。　But　it's　not　impossible　that　human　beings　are　incapable　of　interpreting　a　power　so　much　greater　than　themselves。　Maybe　religions　are　twisted　and　perverted　shadows　of　truth。　Maybe　there　are　forces　which　shape　the　world。　I　myself　have　never　understood　why；　in　a　universe　so　vast；　a　god　would　care　about　something　so　trivial　as　worship　or　human　destiny。〃
　　　〃When　I　was　a　child　。　。　。　my　sisters　and　I　had　a　teacher。〃
　　　Did　I　pay　attention？　You　bet　your　sweet　ass　I　did。　I　was　ears　from　my　toenails　to　the　top　of　my　pointy　head。　〃A　teacher？〃
　　　〃Yes。　He　argued　that　we　are　the　gods；　that　we　create　our　own　destiny。　That　what　we　are　determines　what　will　bee　of　us。　In　a　peasantlike　vernacular；　we　all　paint　ourselves　into　corners　from　which　there　is　no　escape　simply　by　being　ourselves　and　interacting　with　other　selves。〃
　　　〃Interesting。〃
　　　〃Well。　Yes。　There　is　a　god　of　sorts；　Croaker。　Do　you　know？　Not　a　mover　and　shaker；　though。　Simply　a　negator。　An　ender　of　tales。　He　has　a　hunger　than　cannot　be　sated。　The　universe　itself　will　slide　down　his　maw。〃
　　　〃Death？〃
　　　〃I　do　not　want　to　die；　Croaker。　All　that　I　am　shrieks　against　the　unrighteousness　of　death。　All　that　I　am；　was；　and　probably　will　be；　is　shaped　by　my　passion　to　evade　the　end　of　me。〃　She　laughed　quietly；　but　there　was　a　thread　of　hysteria　there。　She　gestured；　indicating　the　shadowed　killing　ground　below。　〃I　would　have　built　a　world　in　which　I　was　safe。　And　the　cornerstone　of　my　citadel　would　have　been　death。〃
　　　The　end　of　the　dream　was　drawing　close。　I　could　not　imagine　a　world　without　me　in　it；　either。　And　the　inner　me　was　outraged。　Is　outraged。　I　have　no　trouble　imagining　someone　being　obsessed　with　escaping　death。　〃I　understand。〃
　　　〃Maybe。　We're　all　equals　at　the　dark　gate；　no？　The　sands　run　for　us　all。　Life　is　but　a　flicker　shouting　into　the　jaws　of　eternity。　But　it　seems　so　damned　unfair！〃
　　　Old　Father　Tree　entered　my　thoughts。　He　would　perish　in　time。　Yes。　Death　is　insatiable　and　cruel。
　　　〃Have　you　reflected？〃　she　asked。
　　　〃I　think　so。　I'm　no　necromancer。　But　I've　seen　roads　I　don't　want　to　walk。〃
　　　〃Yes。　You're　free　to　go；　Croaker。〃
　　　Shock。　Even　my　heels　tingled　with　disbelief。　〃Say　what？〃
　　　〃You're　free。　The　Tower　gate　is　open。　You　need　but　walk　out　it。　But　you're　also　free　to　remain；　to　reenter　the　lists　in　the　struggle　that　envelopes　us　all。〃
　　　There　was　almost　no　light　left　except　for　some　sun　hitting　very　high　clouds。　Against　the　deep　indigo　in　the　east　a　squadron　of　bright　pinpricks　moved　westward。　They　seemed　headed　toward　the　Tower。
　　　I　gabbled　something　that　made　no　sense。
　　　〃Will　she；　nihil　she；　the　Lady　of　Charm　is　at　war　with　her　husband　once　more；〃　she　said。　〃And　till　that　struggle　is　lost　or　won；　there　is　no　other。　You　see　the　Taken　returning。　The　armies　of　the　east　are　marching　toward　the　Barrowland。　Those　beyond　the　Plain　have　been　ordered　to　withdraw　to　garrisons　farther　east。　Your　deaf　child　is　in　no　danger　unless　she　es　looking　for　it。　There　is　an　armistice。　Perhaps　eternally。〃　Weak　smile。　〃If　there　is　no　Lady；　there　is　no　one　for　the　White　Rose　to　battle。〃
　　　She　left　me　then；　in　total　confusion；　and　went　to　greet　her　champions。　The　carpets　came　down　out　of　the　darkness；　settling　like　autumn　leaves。　I　moved　a　little　nearer　till　my　personal　guardian　indicated　that　my　relationship　with　the　Lady　was　insufficiently　close　to　permit　eavesdropping。
　　　The　wind　grew　more　chill；　blowing　out　of　the　north。　And　I　wondered　if　it　might　not　be　autumn　for　us　all。
　　　
　　　Chapter　Forty：　MAKING　UP　MY　MIND
　　　
　　　She　never　once　demanded　anything。　Even　her　hints　were　so　oblique　they　left　everything　to　me　to　work　out。　Two　days　after　our　evening　on　the　ramparts　I　asked　the　Colonel　if　I　might　see　her。　He　said　he　would　ask。　I　suspect　he　was　under　instructions。　Otherwise　there　would　have　been　arguments。
　　　Another　day　passed　before　he　came　to　say　the　Lady　had　time　for　me。
　　　I　closed　my　inkwell；　cleaned　my　quill；　and　rose。　〃Thank　you。〃　He　looked　at　me　oddly。　〃Is　something　wrong？〃
　　　〃No。　Just　。　。　。　〃
　　　I　understood。　〃I　don't　know　either。　I'm　sure　she　has　some　special　use　for　me。〃
　　　That　brightened　the　Colonel's　day。　That　he　could　prehend。
　　　The　usual　routine。　This　time　I　entered　her　demesne　as　she　stood　at　a　window　opening　on　a　world　of　wet　gloom。　Grey　rain；　choppy　brown　water；　and　hulking　to　the　left；　shapes　barely　discernible；　trees　clinging　precariously　to　a　high　river　bank。　Cold　and　misery　leaked　out　of　that　portraiture。　It　had　a　too　familiar　smell。
　　　〃The　Great　Tragic　River；〃　she　said。　〃In　full　flood。　But　it's　always　in　flood；　isn't　it？〃　She　beckoned。　I　followed。　Since　my　last　visit　a　large　table　had　been　added。　Atop　it　was　a　miniature　of　the　Barrowland；　a　representation　so　good　it　was　spooky。　You　almost　expected　to　see　little　Guards　scurrying　around　the　pound。
　　　〃You　see？〃　she　asked。
　　　〃No。　Though　I've　been　there　twice；　I'm　not　familiar　with　much　but　the　town　and　the　pound。　What　am　I　supposed　to　see？〃
　　　〃The　river。　Your　friend　Raven　evidently　recognized　its　import。〃　With　one　delicate　finger　she　sketched　a　loop　well　to　the　east　of　the　river's　course；　which　curved　into　the　ridge　where　we　had　camped。
　　　〃At　the　time　of　my　triumph　in　Juniper　the　river's　bed　lay　here。　A　year　later　the　weather　turned。　The　river　flooded　continuously。　And　crept　this　way。　Today　it's　devouring　this　ridge。　I　examined　it　myself。　The　ridge　is　entirely　earthen；　without　bones　of　stone。　It　won't　last。　Once　it　goes；　the　river　will　cut　into　the　Barrowland。　All　the　spells　of　the　White　Rose　won't　keep　it　from　opening　the　Great　Barrow。　Each　fetish　swept　away　will　make　it　that　much　easier　for　my　husband　to　rise。〃
　　　I　grunted。　〃Against　Nature　there　is　no　defense。〃
　　　〃There　is。　If　one　foresees。　The　White　Rose　did　not。　I　did　not　when　I　attempted　to　bind　him　more　securely。　Now　it's　too　late。　So。　You　wanted　to　speak　to　me？〃
　　　〃Yes。　I　have　to　leave　the　Tower。〃
　　　〃So。　You　didn't　have　to　e　to　me　about　that。　You're　free　to　stay　or　go。〃
　　　〃I'm　going　because　there're　things　I　have　to　do。　As　you　well　know。　If　I　walk；　I'll　probably　get　them　done　too　late。　It's　a　long　hike　to　the　Plain。　Not　to　mention　risky。　I　want　to　beg　transportation。〃
　　　She　smiled；　and　this　smile　was　genuine；　radiant；　subtly　different　from　previous　smiles。　〃Good。　I　thought　you　would　see　where　the　future　lies。　How　soon　can　you　be　ready？〃
　　　〃Five　minutes。　There　is　one　question。　Raven。〃
　　　〃Raven　has　been　hospitalized　at　the　pound　at　the　Barrowland。　Nothing　can　be　done　for　him　right　now。　Every　effort　will　be　made　when　an　opportunity　arises。　Sufficient？〃
　　　I　could　not　argue；　of　course。
　　　〃Good。　Transport　will　be　available。　You　will　have　a　unique　chauffeur。　The　Lady　herself。〃
　　　〃I　。　。　。　〃
　　　〃I；　too；　have　been　thinking。　My　best　next　step　is　to　meet　your　White　Rose。　I'm　going　with　you。〃
　　　After　gulping　quarts　of　air；　I　managed；　〃They'd　jump　all　over　you。〃
　　　〃Not　if　they　don't　know　me。　They　wouldn't；　unless　they　were　told。〃
　　　Well；　no　one　was　likely　to　recognize　her。　I　am　unique　in　having　met　her　and　lived　to　brag　on　it。　But　。　。　。　　Gods；　the　heaps　and　bales　of　buts。　〃If　you　entered　the　null；　all　your　spells　would　fall　apart。〃
　　　〃No。　New　spells　wouldn't　work。　Spells　in　place　would　be　safe。〃
　　　I　did　not　understand　and　said　so。
　　　〃A　simple　glamor　will　fade　on　entering　the　null。　It　is　being　actively　maintained。　A　spell　which　changes　and　leaves　changed；　but　which　isn't　active　on　entering　the　null；　won't　be　affected。〃
　　　Something　off　in　the　badlands　of　my　mind　tickled　me。　I　could　not　run　it　down。　〃If　you　turned　into　a　frog　and　hopped　in　there；　you'd　stay　a　frog？〃
　　　〃If　the　transformation　was　actual　and　not　just　an　illusion。〃
　　　〃I　see。〃　I　hung　a　red　flag　on　that；　told　me　to　worry　it　later。
　　　〃I　will　bee　a　panion　acquired　along　the　way。　Say；　someone　who　can　help　with　your　documents。〃
　　　There　had　to　be　levels　of　deceit。　Or　something。　I　could　not　imagine　her　putting　her　life　into　my　hands。　I　do　believe　I　gawked。
　　　She　nodded。　〃You　begin　to　understand。〃
　　　〃You　trust　me　too　much。〃
　　　〃I　know　you　better　than　you　know　yourself。　You're　an　honorable　man；　by　your　own　lights；　with　enough　cynicism　to　believe　there　can　be　a　lesser　of　two　evils。　You　have　been　under　the　Eye。〃　I　shuddered。　She　did　not　apologize。　We　both　knew　an　apology　would　be　false。
　　　〃Well？〃　she　asked。
　　　〃I'm　not　sure　why　you　want　to　do　this。　It　makes　no　sense。〃
　　　〃There　is　a　new　situation　in　the　world。　Once　there　were　only　two　poles；　your　peasant　girl　and　I；　with　a　line　of　conflict　drawn　between。　But　that　which　stirs　in　the　north　adds　another　point。　It　can　be　seen　as　a　lengthening　of　the　line；　with　my　point　near　the　middle；　or　as　a　triangle。　The　point　that　is　my　husband　intends　destroying　both　your　White　Rose　and　myself。　I　submit　that　she　and　I　ought　to　eliminate　the　greater　danger　before　。　。　。　〃
　　　〃Enough。　I　see。　But　I　don't　see　Darling　being　that　pragmatic。　There's　a　lot　of　hatred　in　her。〃
　　　〃Perhaps。　But　it's　worth　a　try。　Will　you　help？〃
　　　Having　been　within　a　stone's　throw　of　the　old　darkness　and　seen　the　ghosts　a…stalk　on　the　Barrowland；　yes；　I　would　do　most　anything　to　keep　that　dread　spook　from　shedding　his　grave。　But　how；　how；　how　trust　her！
　　　She　did　that　trick　they　all　have；　of　seeming　to　read　my　mind。　〃You　will　have　me　within　the　null。〃
　　　〃Right。　I'll　need　to　think　some　more。〃
　　　〃Take　your　time。　I　can't　leave　for　some　time。〃　I　suspect　she　wanted　to　establish　safeguards　against　a　palace　revolution。
　　　
　　　Chapter　Forty…One：　A　TOWN　CALLED　HORSE
　　　
　　　Fourteen　days　passed　before　we　took　air　for　Horse；　a　modest　town　lying　between　the　Windy　Country　and　the　Plain　of　Fear；　about　a　hundred　miles　west　of　the　latter。　Horse　is　a　caravan　stage　for　those　traders　mad　enough　to　traipse　through　those　two　wildernesses。　Of　late；　the　city　has　been　the　logistical　headquarters　for　Whisper's　operations。　What　skeleton　forces　were　not　on　the　road　to　the　Barrowland　were　in　garrison　there。
　　　Damned　northbound　fools　were　going　to　get　wet。
　　　We　drifted　in　after　an　eventless　passage；　me　with　eyes　agog。　Despite　the　removal　of　vast　armies；　Whisper's　base　was　an　anthive　swirling　around　newly　created　carpets。
　　　They　came　in　a　dozen　varieties。　In　one　field　I　saw　a　W　formation　of　five　monsters；　each　a　hundred　yards　long　a