the daughter of an empress-第40部分

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s　time　God　permitted　Himself　to　be　found　by　me；　I　heard　his　voice；　saying：　'Go　and　repent；　and　thy　sins　shall　be　forgiven　thee！　Shake　off　the　sinfulness　that　weighs　upon　thy　head；　and　peace　will　return　to　thy　bosom。'　I　heard　this　voice　of　God；　and　wept　with　repentant　sorrow。　I　vowed　to　obey　and　reconcile　myself　to　God　by　renouncing　my　love　and　never　again　seeing　its　object！　It　was　a　great　sacrifice；　but　God　demanded　it；　and　I　obeyed！〃

〃That　is；　this　sickness　had　restored　you　from　intoxication　to　sobriety；　you　were　tired　of　your　mistress！〃

〃I　had；　perhaps；　never　loved　her　more　warmly；　more　intensely；　than　in　those　dreadful　hours　when　I　was　struggling　with　my　poor　tortured　heart　and　imploring　God　for　strength　to　renounce　her　and　separate　myself　from　her　forever。　But　God　was　merciful　and　aided　my　weakness　with　His　own　strength。　Letters　came　from　her；　and　I　had　the　cruel　courage　to　read　them；　I　had　condemned　myself　to　do　it　as　an　expiation；　and　while　I　read　her　soft　complainings；　her　love…sorrows；　I　felt　in　my　heart　the　same　sorrows；　the　same　disconsolate　wretchedness；　tears　streamed　from　my　eyes；　and　I　flayed　my　breast　with　my　nails　in　utter　despair！　Ah；　at　such　moments　how　often　did　I　forget　God　and　my　repentance；　how　often　did　I　press　those　letters　to　my　lips　and　call　my　beloved　by　the　tenderest　names；　my　whole　soul；　my　whole　being　flew　to　her；　and；　forgetting　all；　all；　I　wanted　to　rush　to　her　presence；　fall　down　at　her　feet；　and　be　blessed　only　through　her；　even　if　my　eternal　salvation　was　thereby　lost！　But　what　was　it；　what　then　restrained　my　feet；　what　suddenly　arrested　those　words　of　insane　passion　upon　my　lips　and　irresistibly　drew　me　down　upon　my　knees　to　pray？　It　was　God；　who　then　announced　Himself　to　meGod；　who　called　me　to　HimselfGod；　who　finally　gave　me　strength　to　understand　my　love　and　always　leave　her　letters　unanswered　until　they　finally　ceased　to　comeuntil　her　complaints；　which；　however；　had　consoled　me；　were　no　longer　heard！　The　sacrifice　was　made；　God　accepted　it；　my　sin　was　expiated；　and　I　was　glad；　for　my　heart　was　forever　broken；　and　never；　since　then；　has　a　smile　of　happiness　played　upon　my　lips。　But　in　my　soul　has　it　become　tranquil　and　serene；　God　dwells　there；　and　within　me　is　a　peace　known　only　to　those　who　have　struggled　and　overcome；　who　have　expiated　their　sins　with　a　free　will　and　flayed　breast。〃

〃And　your　beloved；　what　became　of　her？〃　asked　the　cardinal。　〃Did　she　pardon　your　treason；　and　console　herself　in　the　arms　of　another？〃

〃In　the　arms　of　death！〃　said　Ganganelli；　with　a　low　voice。　〃My　silence　and　my　apparent　forgetfulness　of　her　broke　her　heart；　she　died　of　grief；　but　she　died　like　a　saint；　and　her　last　words　were：　'May　God　forgive　him；　as　I　do！　I　curse　him　not；　but　bless　him；　rather；　for　through　him　am　I　released　from　the　burden　of　this　life；　and　all　sorrow　is　overcome！'　She　therefore　died　in　the　belief　of　my　unfaithfulness；　she　did；　indeed；　pardon　me；　but　yet　she　believed　me　a　faithless　betrayer！　And　the　consciousness　of　this　was　to　me　a　new　torment　and　a　penance　which　I　shall　suffer　forever　and　ever！　This　is　the　story　of　my　love；〃　continued　Ganganelli；　after　a　short　silence。　〃I　have　truly　related　it　to　you　as　it　is。　May　you；　my　son；　learn　from　it　that；　when　we　wish　to　do　right；　we　can　always　succeed；　in　spite　of　our　own　hearts　and　sinful　natures；　and　that　with　God's　help　we　can　overcome　all　and　suffer　all。　You　see　that　I　have　loved；　and　nevertheless　had　strength　to　renounce。　But　it　was　God　who　gave　me　this　strength；　God　alone！　Turn　you；　also；　to　God；　pray　to　Him　to　destroy　in　you　your　sinful　love；　and；　if　you　implore　Him　with　the　right　words；　and　with　the　right　fervor；　then　will　God　be　near　you　with　His　strength；　and　in　the　pains　of　renunciation　will　He　purify　your　soul；　preparing　it　for　virtue　and　all　that　is　good！〃

〃And　do　you　call　that　virtue？〃　asked　the　cardinal。　〃May　Heaven　preserve　me　from　so　cruel　a　virtue！　Do　you　call　it　serving　God　when　this　virtue　makes　you　the　murderer　of　your　beloved；　and；　more　savage　than　a　wild　beast；　deaf　to　the　amorous　complaints　of　a　woman　whom　you　had　led　into　love　and　sin；　whose　virtue　you　sacrificed　to　your　lust；　and　whom　you　afterward　deserted　because；　as　you　say；　God　called　to　yourself；　but　really　only；　because　satiated；　you　no　longer　desired　her。　Your　faithfulness　cunningly　clothes　itself　in　the　mantle　of　godliness；　nothing　further。　No；　no；　holy　father　of　Christendom；　I　envy　you　not　this　virtue　which　has　made　you　the　murderer　of　God's　noblest　work。　That　is　a　sacrilege　committed　in　the　holy　temple　of　nature。　Go　your　way；　and　think　yourself　great　in　your　bloodthirsty；　murderous　virtue！　You　will　not　convert　me　to　it。　Let　me　still　remain　a　sinner　it　at　least　will　not　lead　me　to　murder　the　woman　I　love；　and　provide　for　her　torment　and　suffering；　instead　of　the　promised　pleasure。　Believe　me；　Corilla　has　never　yet　cursed　me；　nor　have　her　fine　eyes　ever　shed　a　tear　of　sorrow　on　my　account。　You　have　made　your　beloved　an　unwilling　saint　and　martyrpossibly　that　may　have　been　very　sublime；　and　the　angels　may　have　wept　or　rejoiced　over　it。　I　have　lavished　upon　my　beloved　ones　nothing　but　earthly　happiness。　I　have　not　made　them　saints；　but　only　happy　children　of　this　world；　and　even　when　they　have　ceased　to　love　me；　they　have　always　continued　to　call　me　their　friend；　and　blessed　me　for　making　them　rich　and　happy。　You　have　set　of　crown　of　thorns　upon　the　head　of　your　beloved；　I　would　bind　a　laurel…crown　upon　the　beautiful　brow　of　my　Corilla；　which　will　not　wound　her　head；　and　will　not　cause　her　to　die　of　grief。　You　are　not　willing　to　aid　me　in　this；　my　work？　You　refuse　me　this　laurel…　wreath　because　you　have　only　martyr…crowns　to　dispose　of？　Very　well；　holy　father　of　Christendom；　I　will　nevertheless　compel　you　to　comply　with　my　wishes；　and　you　shall　have　no　peace　in　your　holy　city　from　my　mad　tricks　until　you　promise　me　to　crown　the　great　improvisatrice　in　the　capitol。　Until　then；　/addio/；　holy　father　of　Christendom。　You　will　not　see　me　again　in　the　Vatican　or　Quirinal；　but　all　Rome　shall　ring　with　news　of　me！〃

With　a　slight　salutation；　and　without　waiting　for　an　answer　from　the　pope；　the　cardinal　departed　with　hasty　steps；　and　soon　his　herculean　form　disappeared　in　the　shadow　of　the　pine　and　olive　trees。　But　his　loud　and　scornful　laugh　long　resounded　in　the　distance。



THE　POPE'S　RECREATION　HOUR

The　pope　followed　his　retreating　form　with　a　glance　of　sadness　and　a　shake　of　the　head。

〃He　is　past　help；〃　murmured　he；　〃he　runs　to　his　ruin；　and　the　voice　of　warning　is　unheeded。　But　how；　if　he　should　happen　to　be　right？　How；　if　he　with　his　worldly　wisdom　and　his　theory　of　earthly　happiness；　should　be　more　conformable　to　the　will　of　God　than　we　with　our　virtue　and　our　doctrine　of　renunciation？　Ah；　yes；　the　world　is　so　beautiful；　it　seems　made　entirely　for　pleasure　and　enjoyment；　and　yet　men　wander　through　it　with　tearful　eyes；　disregarding　its　beauty；　and　refusing　to　share　its　pleasures。　All；　except　man；　is　free　on　earth。　He　alone　lies　in　constraining　bands；　and　his　heart　bleeds　while　all　creation　rejoices。　No；　no；　that　cannot　be；　every　individual　does　what　he　can　to　render　mankind　free　and　happy；　and　I　also　will　do　my　part。　God　has　laid　great　power　in　my　hand；　and　I　will　use　it　so　long　as　it　is　mine。〃

Thus　speaking；　the　pope　left　the　garden；　and　hastened　up　to　his　study。

〃Signor　Galiandro；〃　said　he；　to　his　private　secretary；　〃did　you　not　speak　to　me　to…day　of　several　petitions　received；　in　which　people　begged　for　dispensations　from　monk　and　cloister　vows？〃

Signor　Galiandro　smilingly　rummaged　among　a　mass　of　papers　that　covered　the　pope's　writing…table。

〃In　the　last　four　weeks　some　fifty　such　petitions　have　been　received。　Since　your　holiness　has　released　several　monks　and　nuns　from　their　vows；　all　these　pious　brides　of　Christ　and　these　consecrated　priests　seem　to　have　tired　of　their　cloister　life；　and　long　to　be　out　in　the　world　again。〃

〃Whoever　does　not　freely　and　willingly　remain　in　the　house　of　the　Lord；　we　will　not　retain　them；〃　said　Ganganelli。　〃Compelled　service　of　the　Lord　is　no　service；　and　the　prayer　of　the　lips　without　the　concurrence　of　the　heart　is　null！　Give　me　all　these　petitions　that　I　may　grant　them！　The　love　of　the　world　is　awakened　in　these　monks　and　nuns；　and　we　will　give　back　to　the　world　what　belongs　to　the　world。　With　their　resisting　and　struggling　hearts　they　will　make　but　bad　priests　and　nuns；　perhaps　it　will　be　better　for　them　to　become　founders　of　families。　And　they　who　honestly　do　their　duty；　equally　serve　God；　whether　they　are　in　a　cloister　or　in　the　bosoms　of　their　families。〃

The　pope　seated　himself　at　his　writing…table；　and　after　having　carefully　examined　all　the　petitions　for　dispensations；　signed　his　consent；　and　smilingly　handed　them　back　to　his　secretary。

〃I　hope　we　have　here　made　some　people　happy；〃　said　he；　rising；　〃and　therefore　it　may；　perhaps；　be　allowed　us　also　to　be　happy　in　our　own　way　for　a　quarter　of　an　hour。〃

He　lightly　touched　the　silver　bell　suspended　over　his　writing…table；　and　at　the　immediately　opened　door　appeared　the　pleasant　and　well…　nourished　face　of　brother　Lorenzo；　the　Franciscan　monk；　who　performed　the　whole　service　of　the　pope。

〃Lorenzo；〃　said　Ganganelli；　with　a　smile；　〃let　us　go　down　into　the　poultry…yard。　You　must　show　me　the　young　chickens　of　which　you　told　me　yesterday。　And　hear；　would　it　be　asking　too　much　to　beg　of　you　to　bring　my　dinner　into　the　garden？〃

〃I　would　that　you　could　ask　too　much；〃　said　brother　Lorenzo；　waddling　after　his　master；　who　was　descending　the　stairs　leading　to　the　court…　yard。　〃I　really　wish；　your　holiness；　that　it　were　asking　too　much；　for　then　your　dinner　would　be　at　least　a　little　more　desirable　and　heavier　to　transport！　Was　such　a　thing　ever　heard　of？　the　father　of　Christianity　keeps　a　table　like　that　of　the　poorest　begging　monk；　and　is　satisfied　with　milk；　fruit；　bread；　and　vegetables；　while　the　fattest　of　capons　and　ducks　are　crammed　in　vain　for　him；　and　his　cellar　is　replete　with　the　most　generous　wines。〃

〃Well；　well；　scold　not；〃　said　Ganganelli；　smiling；　〃have　we　not　for　years　felt　ourselves　well　in　the　Franciscan　cloister；　it　never　once　occurring　to　us　to　wish　ourselves　better　off！　Why　should　I　now　quit　the　habits　of　years　and　accust