the daughter of an empress-第54部分

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smile。　〃But　Carlo　has　not　filled　the　void　that　Paulo's　absence　has　left　in　my　heart。　At　first　I　thought　he　could；　but　that　was　only　a　short　deception。　Carlo　is　good　and　kind；　always　devoted；　always　ready　to　serve　me。　He　always　conforms　himself　to　my　will；　is　all　subjection；　all　obedience。　But　that　is　terrible；　unbearable！〃　exclaimed　the　almost　weeping　young　maiden。　〃Who；　then；　shall　I　obey；　before　whom　shall　I　tremble；　when　all　obey　me　and　tremble　before　me？　And　yet　Carlo　is　a　man。　No；〃　said　she；　quite　low；　〃were　he　so　I　should　then　obey　him；　and　not　he　me；　then　would　he　give　me　commands；　and　not　I　him！　No；　Carlo　is　no　manPaulo　was　so！　Where　art　thou；　my　friend；　my　father？〃

And　the　young　maiden　yearningly　spread　her　arms　in　the　air；　calling　upon　her　distant　friend　with　tender；　low…whispered　words　and　heartfelt　longings。

But　the　days　slowly　passed；　and　still　no　news　came　from　him。　Natalie　dreamily　and　sadly　sank　deeper　into　herself；　her　cheeks　paled；　her　step　became　less　light　and　elastic。　In　vain　did　her　true　friends；　Marianne　and　Carlo；　exhaust　themselves　in　projects　and　propositions　for　her　distraction　and　amusement。

〃You　should　go　into　the　world　and　amuse　yourself　in　society；　princess；〃　said　Carlo。

〃I　hate　the　world　and　society；〃　said　Natalie。　〃People　are　all　bad；　and　I　abominate　them。　What　had　I　done　to　these　people；　how　had　I　offended　them　even　in　thought；　and　yet　they　would　have　murdered　me　the　very　first　time　I　appeared　among　them？　No；　no；　leave　me　here　in　my　solitude；　where　I　at　least　have　not　to　tremble　for　my　life；　where　I　have　Carlo　to　guard　and　protect　me。〃

The　singer　pressed　the　proffered　hand　to　his　lips。

〃Then　let　us　at　least　make　some　excursions　in　the　environs　of　Rome；〃　said　he。

〃No；〃　said　she；　〃I　should　everywhere　long　to　be　back　in　my　garden。　Nowhere　is　it　so　beautiful　as　here。　Leave　me　my　paradisewhy　would　you　drive　me　from　it？〃

〃Alas！〃　despairingly　exclaimed　Carlo；　〃you　call　yourself　happy　and　satisfied；　why；　then；　are　you　so　sad？〃

〃Am　I　sad？〃　she　asked；　with　surprise。　〃No；　Carlo；　I　am　not　sad！　I　sometimes　dream；　nothing　more！　Let　me　yet　dream！〃

〃You　will　die；〃　thought　Carlo；　and　with　an　effort　he　forced　back　the　cry　of　despair　that　pressed　to　his　lips；　but　his　cheeks　paled；　and　his　whole　form　trembled。

Seeing　it；　Natalie　shook　off　her　apathy；　and　with　a　lively　sympathy　and　tender　friendship　she　inquired　the　cause　of　his　disquiet。　She　was　so　near　him　that　her　breath　fanned　his　cheek；　and　her　locks　touched　his　brow。

〃Ah；　you　would　kill　me；　you　would　craze　me！〃　murmured　he；　sorrowfully；　sinking　down；　powerless；　at　her　feet。

She　looked　wonderingly　at　him。　〃Why　are　you　angry　with　me？〃　she　innocently　said；　〃and　what　have　I　done；　that　you　so　wrongfully　accuse　me？〃

〃What　have　you　done？〃　cried　he；　beside　himself；the　moment　had　overcome　him；　this　moment　had　burst　the　bands　with　which　he　had　bound　his　heart；　and　in　unfettered　freedom；　in　glowing　passion；　his　long…　concealed　secret　forced　its　way　to　his　lips。　He　must　at　length　for　once　speak　of　his　sorrows；　even　if　death　should　follow；　he　must　give　expression　to　his　torment　and　his　love；　even　should　Natalie　banish　him　forever　from　her　presence！

〃What　have　you　done？〃　repeated　he。　〃Ah；　she　does　not　even　know　that　she　is　slowly　murdering　me；　she　does　not　even　know　that　I　love　her！〃

〃Am　I　not　to　know？〃　she　reproachfully　asked。　〃Would　you；　indeed；　have　saved　my　life　had　you　not　loved　me？　Carlo　I　am　indebted　to　you　for　my　life；　and　you　say　I　murder　you！〃

〃Yes；〃　he　frowardly　exclaimed；　〃you　murder　me！　Slowly；　day　by　day；　hour　by　hour；　am　I　consumed　by　this　frightful　internal　fire　that　is　destroying　me。　Ah；　you　know　not　that　you　are　killing　me。　And　have　you　not　destroyed　my　youthful　strength；　and　from　a　man　converted　me　into　an　old；　trembling；　and　complaining　woman？　Is　it　not　for　your　sake　that　I　have　fled　the　world；　leaving　behind　me　all　it　offered　of　fame　and　wealth　and　honor？　Is　it　not　your　fault　that　I　have　ceased　to　be　a　free　man；　to　have　a　will　of　my　own；　and　have　become　a　slave　crawling　at　your　feet？　Ah；　woe　is　me；　that　I　ever　came　to　know　you！　You　are　an　enchantress；　you　have　made　me　your　hound；　and；　whining；　I　lie　in　the　dust　before　you；　satisfied　when　you　touch　me　with　your　foot。〃

At　first；　Natalie　had　listened　to　him　with　terror　and　astonishment；　then　an　expression　of　noble　pride　was　to　be　read　upon　her　features；　a　glowing　flush　flitted　over　her　delicate　cheeks；　and　with　flashing　eyes　and　a　heaving　bosom　she　sprang　up　from　her　seat。　Proud　as　a　queen　she　rose　erect；　the　blood　of　her　ancestors　awoke　in　her；　she　at　this　moment　felt　herself　free　as　an　empress；　as　proud；　as　secureand；　stretching　her　arm　toward　the　outlet　of　the　garden；　she　said　in　a　determined　tone：　〃Go；　Signor　Carlo！　Leave　me；　I　tell　you！　We　have　no　longer　any　thing　in　common　with　each　other！〃

Carlo　seemed　as　if　awakened　from　a　delirium。　Breathless；　with　widely…　opened　eyes；　trembling　and　anxious；　he　stared　at　the　angry　maiden。　He　knew　nothing　of　what　he　had　said；　he　comprehended　not　her　anger；　only　his　infinite　suffering；　he　was　conscious　only　of　his　long…suppressed；　long…concealed　secret　love。　And；　grasping　Natalie's　hands　with　an　imploring　expression；　he　constrained　the　young　maiden；　almost　against　her　will；　to　remain　and　reseat　herself　upon　the　grassy　bank　before　which　he　knelt。

As　he　looked　up　to　her　with　those　glowing；　passionate　glances；　a　maiden　fear　and　trembling　for　the　first　time　came　over　her；　an　anxiety　and　timidity　inexplicable　to　herself！　Her　delicate；　transparent　cheeks　paled；　tears　filled　her　eyes；　and；　folding　her　hands　with　a　childishly　supplicating　expression；　she　said　in　a　low；　tremulous　tone：　〃My　God；　my　God！　Have　mercy　upon　me！　I　am　a　wholly　abandoned；　solitary　orphan！　Rescue　me　yet　from　this　trouble　and　distress；　from　this　terrible　loneliness！〃

〃Fear　nothing；　my　charming　angel；〃　whispered　Carlo；　〃I　will　be　gentle　as　a　lamb；　and　patient；　very　patient　in　my　sorrow；　I　have　sworn　it　and　will　keep　my　oath！　But　you　must　hear　me！　You　must；　only　this　one　time；　allow　me　to　express　in　words　my　love　and　my　sorrow；　my　misery　and　my　ecstasy。　Will　you　allow　me　this；　my　lily；　my　beautiful　swan？〃

He　would　have　again　grasped　her　hand；　but　she　withdrew　it　with　a　proud；　angry　glance。

〃Speak　on；〃　said　she；　wearily　leaning　her　hand　against　the　myrtle…　bush。　〃Speak　on；　I　will　listen　to　you！〃

And　he　spoke　to　her　of　his　love；　he　informed　her　of　his　former　life；　his　poverty；　his　want；　his　connection　with　Corilla；　whom　he　had　quitted　in　order　to　devote　himself　wholly　to　her；　to　obey；　serve；　and　worship　her　all　his　life；　and；　if　necessary；　to　die　for　her！　〃But　you；〃　he　despairingly　said；　〃you　know　not　love！　Your　heart　is　cold　for　earthly　love；　like　the　angels　in　heaven；　you　love　only　the　good　and　the　sublime；　you　love　mankind　collectively；　but　not　the　individual。　Ah；　Natalie；　you　have　the　heart　of　an　angel；　but　not　the　heart　of　a　woman！〃

The　young　maiden　had　half　dreamingly　listened　to　him；　her　hand　leaned　back　and　her　glance　directed　toward　the　heavens。　She　now　smiled；　and；　with　an　inimitable　grace；　laying　her　hand　upon　her　bosom；　said　in　a　very　low　tone：　〃And　yet　I　feel　that　a　woman's　heart　is　beating　there。　But　it　sleeps！　Who　will　one　day　come　to　awaken　it？〃

Carlo　did　not　understand　these　low　whispered　words；　he　understood　only　his　own　passion；　his　own　consuming　glow。　And　anew　he　commenced　his　love…plainings；　described　to　her　the　torments　and　fierce　joys　of　an　unreturned　love；　which　is　yet　too　strong　and　overpowering　to　be　suppressed。　And　Natalie　listened　to　him　with　a　dreamy　thoughtfulness。　His　words　sounded　in　her　ears　like　a　wonderful　song　from　a　strange；　distant　world　which　she　knew　not；　but　the　description　of　which　filled　her　heart　with　a　sweet　longing；　and　she　could　have　wept；　without　knowing　whether　it　was　for　sorrow　or　joy。

〃Thus；　Natalie；〃　at　length　said　Carlo；　entirely　exhausted　and　pale　with　emotion〃thus　I　love　you。　You　must　sometime　have　learned　it；　and　have　known　that　even　angels　cannot　mingle　with　mortals　unloved　and　unpunished。　I　should　finally　have　been　compelled　to　tell　you　that　you　might　torture　no　longer；　in　cruel　ignorance；　that　you；　learning　to　understand　your　own　heart；　might　tell　me　whether　I　have　to　hope；　or　only　to　fear！〃

〃Poor　Carlo！〃　murmured　Natalie。　〃You　love　me；　but　I　do　not　love　you！　This　has　even　now　become　clear　to　me；　and　while　you　have　so　glowingly　described　the　passion；　I　have　for　the　first　time　comprehended　that　I　yet　know　nothing　of　that　love；　and　that　I　can　never　learn　it　of　you！　This　is　a　misfortune；　Carlo；　but　as　we　cannot　change；　we　must　submit　to　it。〃

Carlo　drooped　his　head　and　sighed。　He　had　no　answer　to　make；　and　only　murmuringly　repeated　her　words：　〃Yes；　we　must　submit　to　it！〃

〃And　why　can　we　not？〃　she　almost　cheerfully　asked；　with　that　childlike　innocence　which　never　once　comprehended　the　sorrow　she　was　preparing　for　Carlo〃why　can　we　not　joyfully　submit？　We　both　love；　only　in　a　different　manner。　Let　each　preserve　and　persevere　in　his　own　manner；　and　then　all　may　yet　be　well！〃

〃And　it　shall　be　well！〃　exclaimed　Carlo；　with　animation。　〃You　cannot　love　me　as　I　love　you；　but　I　can　devote　my　whole　life　to　you；　and　that　will　I　do！　At　home；　in　my　charming　Naples；　a　beautiful　custom　is　prevalent。　When　one　loves；　he　is　adopted　as　a　/vapo/；　a　protector；　who　follows　the　steps　of　the　one　he　loves；　who　watches　before　her　door　when　she　sleeps；　who　secretly　lurks　at　a　distance　behind　her　when　she　leaves　her　house；　who　observes　every　passer…by　in　order　to　preserve　her　from　every　murderous　or　other　inimical　attack；　or　in　case　of　need　to　hasten　to　her　assistance。　Such　a　/vapo/　protects　her　against　the　jealousy　of　her　husband　or　the　vengeance　of　a　dismissed　lover。　Natalie；　as　I　cannot　be　your　lover；　I　will　be　your　/vapo/。　Will　you　accept　my　services？〃

Giving　him　her　hand；　she　smilingly　said；　〃I　will。〃

Carlo　pressed　that　hand　to　his　lips；　and　bedewed　it　with　a　warm　tear。

〃Well；　then；　I　swear　myself　your　/vapo/；〃　said　he；　with　deep　emotion。　〃Wherever　you　may　be；　I　shall　be　near　you；　I　shall　always　follow　to　warn　and　to　protect　you；　should　you　be　in　danger；　call　me　and　you　will　find　me　at　your　side；　whether　by　night　or　by　day；　I　shall　always　watch　over　you　and　sleep　at　the　threshold　of　your　do