a mortal antipathy-第33部分

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I　see　no　occasion　for　bringing　in　the　question　of　sex。　　I　do　not

think　the　homo　sum　of　Terence　can　be　claimed　for　the　male　sex　as　its

private　property　on　general　any　more　than　on　grammatical　grounds；



I　have　sometimes　thought　of　devoting　myself　to　the　noble　art　of

healing。　　If　I　did　so；　it　would　be　with　the　fixed　purpose　of　giving

my　whole　powers　to　the　service　of　humanity。　　And　if　I　should　carry

out　that　idea；　should　I　refuse　my　care　and　skill　to　a　suffering

fellow…mortal　because　that　mortal　happened　to　be　a　brother；　and　not　a

sister？　　My　whole　nature　protests　against　such　one…sided　humanity！

No！　I　am　blind　to　all　distinctions　when　my　eyes　are　opened　to　any

form　of　suffering；　to　any　spectacle　of　want。



You　may　ask　me　why　I　address　you；　whom　I　know　little　or　nothing　of；

and　to　whom　such　an　advance　may　seem　presumptuous　and　intrusive。　　It

is　because　I　was　deeply　impressed　by　the　paper　which　I　attributed　to

you；that　on　Ocean；　River；　and　Lake；　which　was　read　at　one　of　our

meetings。　　I　say　that　I　was　deeply　impressed；　but　I　do　not　mean　this

as　a　compliment　to　that　paper。　　I　am　not　bandying　compliments　now；

but　thinking　of　better　things　than　praises　or　phrases。　　I　was

interested　in　the　paper；　partly　because　I　recognized　some　of　the

feelings　expressed　in　it　as　my　own；partly　because　there　was　an

undertone　of　sadness　in　all　the　voices　of　nature　as　you　echoed　them

which　made　me　sad　to　hear；　and　which　I　could　not　help　longing　to

cheer　and　enliven。　　I　said　to　myself；　I　should　like　to　hold　communion

with　the　writer　of　that　paper。　　I　have　had　my　lonely　hours　and　days；

as　he　has　had。　　I　have　had　some　of　his　experiences　in　my　intercourse

with　nature。　　And　oh！　if　I　could　draw　him　into　those　better　human

relations　which　await　us　all；　if　we　come　with　the　right　dispositions；

I　should　blush　if　I　stopped　to　inquire　whether　I　violated　any

conventional　rule　or　not。



You　will　understand　me；　I　feel　sure。　　You　believe；　do　you　not？　in　the

insignificance　of　the　barrier　which　divides　the　sisterhood　from　the

brotherhood　of　mankind。　　You　believe；　do　you　not？　that　they　should　be

educated　side　by　side；　that　they　should　share　the　same　pursuits；　due

regard　being　had　to　the　fitness　of　the　particular　individual　for　hard

or　light　work；　as　it　must　always　be；　whether　we　are　dealing　with　the

〃stronger〃　or　the　〃weaker〃　sex。　　I　mark　these　words　because；

notwithstanding　their　common　use；　they　involve　so　much　that　is　not

true。　　Stronger！　　Yes；　to　lift　a　barrel　of　flour；　or　a　barrel　of

cider；though　there　have　been　women　who　could　do　that；　and　though

when　John　Wesley　was　mobbed　in　Staffordshire　a　woman　knocked　down

three　or　four　men；　one　after　another；　until　she　was　at　last

overpowered　and　nearly　murdered。　　Talk　about　the　weaker　sex！　　Go　and

see　Miss　Euthymia　Tower　at　the　gymnasium！　　But　no　matter　about　which

sex　has　the　strongest　muscles。　　Which　has　most　to　suffer；　and　which

has　most　endurance　and　vitality？　　We　go　through　many　ordeals　which

you　are　spared；　but　we　outlast　you　in　mind　and　body。　　I　have　been　led

away　into　one　of　my　accustomed　trains　of　thought；　but　not　so　far　away

from　it　as　you　might　at　first　suppose。



My　brother！　　Are　you　not　ready　to　recognize　in　me　a　friend；　an　equal；

a　sister；　who　can　speak　to　you　as　if　she　had　been　reared　under　the

same　roof？　　And　is　not　the　sky　that　covers　us　one　roof；　which　makes

us　all　one　family？　　You　are　lonely；　you　must　be　longing　for　some

human　fellowship。　　Take　me　into　your　confidence。　　What　is　there　that

you　can　tell　me　to　which　I　cannot　respond　with　sympathy？　　What

saddest　note　in　your　spiritual　dirges　which　will　not　find　its　chord

in　mine？



I　long　to　know　what　influence　has　cast　its　shadow　over　your

existence。　　I　myself　have　known　what　it　is　to　carry　a　brain　that

never　rests　in　a　body　that　is　always　tired。　　I　have　defied　its

infirmities；　and　forced　it　to　do　my　bidding。　　You　have　no　such

hindrance；　if　we　may　judge　by　your　aspect　and　habits。　　You　deal　with

horses　like　a　Homeric　hero。　　No　wild　Indian　could　handle　his　bark

canoe　more　dexterously　or　more　vigorously　than　we　have　seen　you

handling　yours。　　There　must　be　some　reason　for　your　seclusion　which

curiosity　has　not　reached；　and　into　which　it　is　not　the　province　of

curiosity　to　inquire。　　But　in　the　irresistible　desire　which　I　have　to

bring　you　into　kindly　relations　with　those　around　you；　I　must　run　the

risk　of　giving　offence　that　I　may　know　in　what　direction　to　look　for

those　restorative　influences　which　the　sympathy　of　a　friend　and

sister　can　offer　to　a　brother　in　need　of　some　kindly　impulse　to

change　the　course　of　a　life　which　is　not；　which　cannot　be；　in

accordance　with　his　true　nature。



I　have　thought　that　there　may　be　something　in　the　conditions　with

which　you　are　here　surrounded　which　is　repugnant　to　your　feelings；

something　which　can　be　avoided　only　by　keeping　yourself　apart　from

the　people　whose　acquaintance　you　would　naturally　have　formed。　　There

can　hardly　be　anything　in　the　place　itself；　or　you　would　not　have

voluntarily　sought　it　as　a　residence；　even　for　a　single　season。

there　might　be　individuals　here　whom　you　would　not　care　to　meet；

there　must　be　such；　but　you　cannot　have　a　personal　aversion　to

everybody。　　I　have　heard　of　cases　in　which　certain　sights　and　sounds；

which　have　no　particular　significance　for　most　persons；　produced

feelings　of　distress　or　aversion　that　made；　them　unbearable　to　the

subjects　of　the　constitutional　dislike。　　It　has　occurred　to　me　that

possibly　you　might　have　some　such　natural　aversion　to　the　sounds　of

the　street；　or　such　as　are　heard　in　most　houses；　especially　where　a

piano　is　kept；　as　it　is　in　fact　in　almost　all　of　those　in　the

village。　　Or　it　might　be；　I　imagined；　that　some　color　in　the　dresses

of　women　or　the　furniture　of　our　rooms　affected　you　unpleasantly。　　I

know　that　instances　of　such　antipathy　have　been　recorded；　and　they

would　account　for　the　seclusion　of　those　who　are　subject　to　it。



If　there　is　any　removable　condition　which　interferes　with　your　free

entrance　into　and　enjoyment　of　the　social　life　around　you；　tell　me；　I

beg　of　you；　tell　me　what　it　is；　and　it　shall　be　eliminated。　　Think　it

not　strange；　O　my　brother；　that　I　thus　venture　to　introduce　myself

into　the　hidden　chambers　of　your　life。　　I　will　never　suffer　myself　to

be　frightened　from　the　carrying　out　of　any　thought　which　promises　to

be　of　use　to　a　fellow…mortal　by　a　fear　lest　it　should　be　considered

〃unfeminine。〃　　I　can　bear　to　be　considered　unfeminine；　but　I　cannot

endure　to　think　of　myself　as　inhuman。　　Can　I　help　you；　my　brother'？



Believe　me　your　most　sincere　well…wisher；



LURIDA　VINCENT。





Euthymia　had　carried　off　this　letter　and　read　it　by　herself。　　As　she

finished　it；　her　feelings　found　expression　in　an　old　phrase　of　her

grandmother's；　which　came　up　of　itself；　as　such　survivals　of　early

days　are　apt　to　do；　on　great　occasions。



〃Well；　I　never！〃



Then　she　loosened　some　button　or　string　that　was　too　tight；　and　went

to　the　window　for　a　breath　of　outdoor　air。　　Then　she　began　at　the

beginning　and　read　the　whole　letter　all　over　again。



What　should　she　do　about　it？　　She　could　not　let　this　young　girl　send

a　letter　like　that　to　a　stranger　of　whose　character　little　was　known

except　by　inference；to　a　young　man；　who　would　consider　it　a　most

extraordinary　advance　on　the　part　of　the　sender。　　She　would　have

liked　to　tear　it　into　a　thousand　pieces；　but　she　had　no　right　to

treat　it　in　that　way。　　Lurida　meant　to　send　it　the　next　morning；　and

in　the　mean　time　Euthymia　had　the　night　to　think　over　what　she　should

do　about　it。



There　is　nothing　like　the　pillow　for　an　oracle。　　There　is　no　voice

like　that　which　breaks　the　silenceof　the　stagnant　hours　of　the

night　with　its　sudden　suggestions　and　luminous　counsels。　　When

Euthymia　awoke　in　the　morning；　her　course　of　action　was　as　clear

before　her　as　if　it　bad　been　dictated　by　her　guardian　angel。　　She

went　straight　over　to　the　home　of　Lurida；　who　was　just　dressed　for

breakfast。



She　was　naturally　a　little　surprised　at　this　early　visit。　　She　was

struck　with　the　excited　look　of　Euthymia；　being　herself　quite　calm；

and　contemplating　her　project　with　entire　complacency。



Euthymia　began；　in　tones　that　expressed　deep　anxiety。



〃I　have　read　your　letter；　my　dear；　and　admired　its　spirit　and　force。

It　is　a　fine　letter；　and　does　you　great　credit　as　an　expression　of

the　truest　human　feeling。　　But　it　must　not　be　sent　to　Mr。　Kirkwood。

If　you　were　sixty　years　old；　perhaps　if　you　were　fifty；　it　might　be

admissible　to　send　it。　　But　if　you　were　forty；　I　should　question　its

propriety；　if　you　were　thirty；　I　should　veto　it；　and　you　are　but　a

little　more　than　twenty。　　How　do　you　know　that　this　stranger　will　not

show　your　letter　to　anybody　or　everybody？　　How　do　you　know　that　he

will　not　send　it　to　one　of　the　gossiping　journals　like　the　'Household

Inquisitor'？　　But　supposing　he　keeps　it　to　himself；　which　is　more

than　you　have　a　right　to　expect；　what　opinion　is　he　likely　to　form　of

a　young　lady　who　invades　his　privacy　with　such　freedom？　　Ten　to　one

he　will　think　curiosity　is　at　the　bottom　of　it；and；come；　don't　be

angry　at　me　for　suggesting　it；may　there　not　be　a　little　of　that

same　motive　mingled　with　the　others？　　No；　don't　interrupt　me　quite

yet；　you　do　want　to　know　whether　your　hypothesis　is　correct。　　You　are

full　of　the　best　and　kindest　feelings　in　the　world；　but　your　desire

for　knowledge　is　the　ferment　under　them　just　now；　perhaps　more　than

you　know。〃



Lurida's　pale　cheeks　flushed　and　whitened　more　than　once　while　her

friend　was　speaking。　　She　loved　her　too　sincerely　and　respected　her

intelligence　too　much　to　take　offence　at　her　advice；　but　she　could

not　give　up　her　humane　and　sisterly　intentions　merely　from　the　fear

of　some　awkward　consequences　to　herself。　　She　had　persuaded　herself

that　she　was　playing　the　part　of　a　Protestant　sister　of　charity；　and

that　the　fact　of　he