sk.misery-第2部分

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and　attempted　to　poke　them　up　her　nostrils；　they　might　go　less　than　an　eighth　of　an　inch　before　encountering　a　solid　（if　slightly　yielding）　obstruction；　that　even　her　gray　cardigan　and　frumpy　house　skirts　and　faded　outside…work　jeans　were　part　of　that　solid　fibrous　unchannelled　body。　So　his　feeling　that　she　was　like　an　idol　in　a　perfervid　novel　was　not　really　surprising　at　all。　Like　an　idol；　she　gave　only　one　thing：　a　feeling　of　unease　deepening　steadily　toward　terror。　Like　an　idol；　she　took　everything　else。
　No；　wait；　that　wasn't　quite　fair。　She　did　give　something　else。　She　gave　him　the　pills　that　brought　the　tide　in　over　the　pilings。
　The　pills　were　the　tide；　Annie　Wilkes　was　the　lunar　presence　which　pulled　them　into　his　mouth　like　jetsam　on　a　wave。　She　brought　him　two　every　six　hours；　first　announcing　her　presence　only　as　a　pair　of　fingers　poking　into　his　mouth　（and　soon　enough　he　learned　to　suck　eagerly　at　those　poking　fingers　in　spite　of　the　bitter　taste）；　later　appearing　in　her　cardigan　sweater　and　one　of　her　half…dozen　skirts；　usually　with　a　paperback　copy　of　one　of　his　novels　tucked　under　her　arm。　At　night　she　appeared　to　him　in　a　fuzzy　pink　robe；　her　face　shiny　with　some　sort　of　cream　（he　could　have　named　the　main　ingredient　easily　enough　even　though　he　had　never　seen　the　bottle　from　which　she　tipped　it；　the　sheepy　smell　of　the　lanolin　was　strong　and　proclamatory）；　shaking　him　out　of　his　frowzy；　dream…thick　sleep　with　the　pills　nestled　in　her　hand　and　the　poxy　moon　nestled　in　the　window　over　one　of　her　solid　shoulders。
　After　awhile　…　after　his　alarm　had　bee　too　great　to　be　ignored　…　he　was　able　to　find　out　what　she　was　feeding　him。　It　was　a　pain…killer　with　a　heavy　codeine　base　called　Novril。　The　reason　she　had　to　bring　him　the　bedpan　so　infrequently　was　not　only　because　he　was　on　a　diet　consisting　entirely　of　liquids　and　gelatines　（earlier；　when　he　was　in　the　cloud；　she　had　fed　him　intravenously）；　but　also　because　Novril　had　a　tendency　to　cause　constipation　in　patients　taking　it。　Another　side…effect；　a　rather　more　serious　one；　was　respiratory　depression　in　sensitive　patients。　Paul　was　not　particularly　sensitive；　even　though　he　had　been　a　heavy　smoker　for　nearly　eighteen　years；　but　his　breathing　had　stopped　nonetheless　on　at　least　one　occasion　（there　might　have　been　others；　in　the　haze；　that　he　did　not　remember）。　That　was　the　time　she　gave　him　mouth…to…mouth。　It　might　have　just　been　one　of　those　things　which　happened；　but　he　later　came　to　suspect　she　had　nearly　killed　him　with　an　accidental　overdose。　She　didn't　know　as　much　about　what　she　was　doing　as　she　believed　she　did。　That　was　only　one　of　the　things　about　Annie　that　scared　him。
　He　discovered　three　things　almost　simultaneously；　about　ten　days　after　having　emerged　from　the　dark　cloud。　The　first　was　that　Annie　Wilkes　had　a　great　deal　of　Novril　（she　had　in　fact；　a　great　many　drugs　of　all　kinds）。　The　second　was　that　he　was　hooked　on　Novril。　The　third　was　that　Annie　Wilkes　was　dangerously　crazy。
　
　
　5
　
　The　darkness　had　prologued　the　pain　and　the　storm…cloud；　he　began　to　remember　what　had　prologued　the　darkness　as　she　told　him　what　had　happened　to　him。　This　was　shortly；　after　he　had　asked　the　traditional　when…the…sleeper…wakes　question　and　she　had　told　him　he　was　in　the　little　town　of　Sidewinder；　Colorado。　In　addition　she　told　him　that　she　had　read　each　of　his　eight　novels　at　least　twice；　and　had　read　her　very　favorites；　the　Misery　novels；　four；　five；　maybe　six　times。　She　only　wished　he　would　write　them　faster。　She　said　she　had　hardly　been　able　to　believe　that　her　patient　was　really　that　Paul　Sheldon　even　after　checking　the　ID　in　his　wallet。
　〃Where　is　my　wallet；　by　the　way？〃　he　asked。
　〃I've　kept　it　safe　for　you；〃　she　said。　Her　smile　suddenly　collapsed　into　a　narrow　watchfulness　he　didn't　like　much　…　it　was　like　discovering　a　deep　crevasse　almost　obscured　by　summer　flowers　in　the　midst　of　a　smiling；　jocund　meadow。　〃Did　you　think　I'd　steal　something　out　of　it？〃
　〃No；　of　course　not。　It's　just　that　…　〃　It's　just　that　the　rest　of　my　life　is　in　it；　he　thought。　My　life　outside　this　room。　Outside　the　pain。　Outside　the　way　time　seems　to　stretch　out　like　the　long　pink　string　of　bubble…gum　a　kid　pulls　out　of　his　mouth　when　he's　bored。　Because　that's　how　it　is　in　the　last　hour　or　so　before　the　pills　e。
　〃Just　what；　Mister　Man？〃　she　persisted；　and　he　saw　with　alarm　that　the　narrow　look　was　growing　blacker　and　blacker。　The　crevasse　was　spreading；　as　if　an　earthquake　was　going　on　behind　her　brow。　He　could　hear　the　steady；　keen　whine　of　the　wind　outside；　and　he　had　a　sudden　image　of　her　picking　him　up　and　throwing　him　over　her　solid　shoulder；　where　he　would　lie　like　a　burlap　sack　slung　over　a　stone　wall；　and　taking　him　outside；　and　heaving　him　into　a　snowdrift。　He　would　freeze　to　death；　but　before　he　did；　his　legs　would　throb　and　scream。
　〃It's　just　that　my　father　always　told　me　to　keep　my　eye　on　my　wallet；〃　he　said；　astonished　by　how　easily　this　lie　came　out。　His　father　had　made　a　career　out　of　not　noticing　Paul　any　more　than　he　absolutely　had　to；　and　had；　so　far　as　Paul　could　remember；　offered　him　only　a　single　piece　of　advice　in　his　entire　life。　On　Paul's　fourteenth　birthday　his　father　had　given　him　a　Red　Devil　condom　in　a　foil　envelope。　〃Put　that　in　your　wallet；〃　Roger　Sheldon　said；　〃and　if　you　ever　get　excited　while　you're　making　out　at　the　drive…in；　take　a　second　between　excited　enough　to　want　to　and　too　excited　to　care　and　slip　that　on。　Too　many　bastards　in　the　world　already；　and　I　don't　want　to　see　you　going　in　the　Army　at　sixteen。〃　Now　Paul　went　on：　〃I　guess　he　told　me　to　keep　my　eye　on　my　wallet　so　many　times　that　it's　stuck　inside　for　good。　If　I　offended　you；　I'm　truly　sorry。〃　She　relaxed。　Smiled。　The　crevasse　closed。　Summer　flowers　nodded　cheerfully　once　again。　He　thought　of　pushing　his　hand　through　that　smile　and　encountering　nothing　but　flexible　darkness。　〃No　offense　taken。　It's　in　a　safe　place。　Wait　…　I've　got　something　for　you。〃　She　left　and　returned　with　a　steaming　bowl　of　soup。　There　were　vegetables　floating　in　it。　He　was　not　able　to　eat　much　but　he　ate　more　than　he　thought　at　first　he　could。　She　seemed　pleased。　It　was　while　he　ate　the　soup　that　she　told　him　what　had　happened；　and　he　remembered　it　all　as　she　told　him　and　he　supposed　it　was　good　to　know　how　you　happened　to　end　up　with　your　legs　shattered；　but　the　manner　by　which　he　was　ing　to　this　knowledge　was　disquieting　…　it　was　as　if　he　was　a　character　in　a　story　or　a　play；　a　character　whose　history　is　not　recounted　like　history　but　created　like　fiction。
　She　had　gone　into　Sidewinder　in　the　four…wheel　drive　to　get　feed　for　the　livestock　and　a　few　groceries　。　。　。　also　to　check　out　the　paperbacks　at　Wilson's　Drug　Center　…　that　had　been　the　Wednesday　that　was　almost　two　weeks　ago　now；　and　the　new　paperbacks　always　came　in　on　Tuesday。
　〃I　was　actually　thinking　of　you；〃　she　said；　spooning　soup　into　his　mouth　and　then　professionally　wiping　away　a　dribble；　from　the　er　with　a　napkin。　〃That's　what　makes　it　such　a　remarkable　coincidence；　don't　you　see？　I　was　hoping　Misery's　Child　would　finally　be　out　in　paperback；　but　no　such　luck。〃　A　storm　had　been　on　the　way；　she　said；　but　until　noon　that　day　the　weather　forecasters　had　been　confidently　claiming　it　would　veer　south；　toward　New　Mexico　and　the　Sangre　di　Cristos。
　〃Yes；〃　he　said；　remembering　as　he　said　it：　〃They　said　it　would　turn。　That's　why　I　went　in　the　first　place。〃　He　tried　to　shift　his　legs。　The　result　was　an　awful　bolt　of　pain；　and　he　groaned。
　〃Don't　do　that；〃　she　said。　〃If　you　get　those　legs　of　yours　talking；　Paul；　they　won't　shut　up　。　。　。　and　I　can't　give　you　any　more　pills　for　two　hours。　I'm　giving　you　too　much　as　it　is。〃　Why　aren't　I　in　the　hospital？　This　was　clearly　the　question　that　wanted　asking；　but　he　wasn't　sure　it　was　a　question　either　of　them　wanted　asked。　Not　yet；　anyway。
　When　I　got　to　the　feed　store；　Tony　Roberts　told　me　I　better　step　on　it　if　I　was　going　to　get　back　here　before　the　storm　hit；　and　I　said　…　〃
　〃How　far　are　we　from　this　town？〃　he　asked。
　〃A　ways；〃　she　said　vaguely；　looking　off　toward　the　window。　There　was　a　queer　interval　of　silence；　and　Paul　was　frightened　by　what　he　saw　on　her　face；　because　what　he　saw　was　nothing；　the　black　nothing　of　a　crevasse　folded　into　an　alpine　meadow；　a　blackness　where　no　flowers　grew　and　into　which　the　drop　might　be　long。　It　was　the　face　of　a　woman　who　has　e　momentarily　untethered　from　all　of　the　vital　positions　and　landmarks　of　her　life；　a　woman　who　has　forgotten　not　only　the　memory　she　was　in　the　process　of　recounting　but　memory　itself。　He　had　once　toured　a　mental　asylum　…　this　was　years　ago；　when　he　had　been　researching　Misery；　the　first　of　the　four　books　which　had　been　his　main　source　of　ine　over　the　last　eight　years　…　and　he　had　seen　this　look　。　。　。　or；　more　precisely；　this　unlook。　The　word　which　defined　it　was　catatonia；　but　what　frightened　him　had　no　such　precise　word　…　it　was；　rather；　a　vague　parison：　in　that　moment　he　thought　that　her　thoughts　had　bee　much　as　he　had　imagined　her　physical　self：　solid；　fibrous；　unchannelled；　with　no　places　of　hiatus。
　Then；　slowly；　her　face　cleared。　Thoughts　seemed　to　flow　back　into　it。　Then　he　realized　flowing　was　just　a　tiny　bit　wrong。　She　wasn't　filling　up；　like　a　pond　or　a　tidal　pool；　she　was　warming　up。　Yes　。　。　。　she　is　warming　up；　like　some　small　electrical　gadget。　A　toaster；　or　maybe　a　heating　pad。
　〃I　said　to　Tony；　〃That　storm　is　going　south。〃〃　She　spoke　slowly　at　first；　almost　groggily；　but　then　her　words　began　to　catch　up　to　normal　cadence　and　to　fill　with　normal　conversational　brightness。　But　now　he　was　alerted。　Everything　she　said　was　a　little　strange；　a　little　offbeat。　Listening　to　Annie　was　like　listening　to　a　song　played　in　the　wrong　key。
　〃But　he　said；　〃It　changed　its　mind。〃
　〃'Oh　poop！〃　I　said。　〃I　better　get　on　my　horse　and　ride。〃
　〃〃I'd　stay　in　town　if　you　can；　Miz　Wilkes；〃　he　said。　〃Now　they're　saying　on　the　radio　that　it's　going　to　be　a　proper　jeezer　and　nobody　is　prepared。〃
　〃But　of　course　I　had　to　get　back　…　there's　no　one　to　feed　the　animals　but　me。　The　nearest　people　are　the　Roydmans；　and　they　are　miles　from　here。　Besides；　the　Roydmans　don't　like　me。〃　She　cast　an　eye　shrewdly　on　him　as　she　said　this　las