da.thehitchhikersguidetothegalaxy-第16部分

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s　sceptical　reaction。　Magrathea！
　　〃In　a　few　seconds；〃　he　continued；　〃we　should　see。。。　there！〃
　　The　moment　carried　itself。　Even　the　most　seasoned　star　tramp　can't　help　but　shiver　at　the　spectacular　drama　of　a　sunrise　seen　from　space；　but　a　binary　sunrise　is　one　of　the　marvels　of　the　Galaxy。
　　Out　of　the　utter　blackness　stabbed　a　sudden　point　of　blinding　light。　It　crept　up　by　slight　degrees　and　spread　sideways　in　a　thin　crescent　blade；　and　within　seconds　two　suns　were　visible；　furnaces　of　light；　searing　the　black　edge　of　the　horizon　with　white　fire。　Fierce　shafts　of　colour　streaked　through　the　thin　atmosphere　beneath　them。
　　〃The　fires　of　dawn。。。　！〃　breathed　Zaphod。　〃The　twin　suns　of　Soulianis　and　Rahm。。。　！〃
　　〃Or　whatever；〃　said　Ford　quietly。
　　〃Soulianis　and　Rahm！〃　insisted　Zaphod。　The　suns　blazed　into　the　pitch　of　space　and　a　low　ghostly　music　floated　through　the　bridge：　Marvin　was　humming　ironically　because　he　hated　humans　so　much。
　　As　Ford　gazed　at　the　spectacle　of　light　before　them　excitement　burnt　inside　him；　but　only　the　excitement　of　seeing　a　strange　new　planet；　it　was　enough　for　him　to　see　it　as　it　was。　It　faintly　irritated　him　that　Zaphod　had　to　impose　some　ludicrous　fantasy　on　to　the　scene　to　make　it　work　for　him。　All　this　Magrathea　nonsense　seemed　juvenile。　Isn't　it　enough　to　see　that　a　garden　is　beautiful　without　having　to　believe　that　there　are　fairies　at　the　bottom　of　it　too？
　　All　this　Magrathea　business　seemed　totally　inprehensible　to　Arthur。　He　edged　up　to　Trillian　and　asked　her　what　was　going　on。
　　〃I　only　know　what　Zaphod's　told　me；〃　she　whispered。　〃Apparently　Magrathea　is　some　kind　of　legend　from　way　back　which　no　one　seriously　believes　in。　Bit　like　Atlantis　on　Earth；　except　that　the　legends　say　the　Magratheans　used　to　manufacture　planets。〃
　　Arthur　blinked　at　the　screens　and　felt　he　was　missing　something　important。　Suddenly　he　realized　what　it　was。
　　〃Is　there　any　tea　on　this　spaceship？〃　he　asked。　More　of　the　planet　was　unfolding　beneath　them　as　the　Heart　of　Gold　streaked　along　its　orbital　path。　The　suns　now　stood　high　in　the　black　sky；　the　pyrotechnics　of　dawn　were　over；　and　the　surface　of　the　planet　appeared　bleak　and　forbidding　in　the　mon　light　of　day　…　grey；　dusty　and　only　dimly　contoured。　It　looked　dead　and　cold　as　a　crypt。　From　time　to　time　promising　features　would　appear　on　the　distant　horizon　…　ravines；　maybe　mountains；　maybe　even　cities　…　but　as　they　approached　the　lines　would　soften　and　blur　into　anonymity　and　nothing　would　transpire。　The　planet's　surface　was　blurred　by　time；　by　the　slow　movement　of　the　thin　stagnant　air　that　had　crept　across　it　for　century　upon　century。
　　Clearly；　it　was　very　very　old。　A　moment　of　doubt　came　to　Ford　as　he　watched　the　grey　landscape　move　beneath　them。　The　immensity　of　time　worried　him；　he　could　feel　it　as　a　presence。　He　cleared　his　throat。
　　〃Well；　even　supposing　it　is。。。〃
　　〃It　is；〃　said　Zaphod。
　　〃Which　it　isn't；〃　continued　Ford。　〃What　do　you　want　with　it　anyway？　There's　nothing　there。〃
　　〃Not　on　the　surface；〃　said　Zaphod。　〃Alright；　just　supposing　there's　something。　I　take　it　you're　not　here　for　the　sheer　industrial　archaeology　of　it　all。　What　are　you　after？〃
　　One　of　Zaphod's　heads　looked　away。　The　other　one　looked　round　to　see　what　the　first　was　looking　at；　but　it　wasn't　looking　at　anything　very　much。
　　〃Well；〃　said　Zaphod　airily；　〃it's　partly　the　curiosity；　partly　a　sense　of　adventure；　but　mostly　I　think　it's　the　fame　and　the　money。。。〃
　　Ford　glanced　at　him　sharply。　He　got　a　very　strong　impression　that　Zaphod　hadn't　the　faintest　idea　why　he　was　there　at　all。
　　〃You　know　I　don't　like　the　look　of　that　planet　at　all；〃　said　Trillian　shivering。
　　〃Ah；　take　no　notice；〃　said　Zaphod；　〃with　half　the　wealth　of　the　former　Galactic　Empire　stored　on　it　somewhere　it　can　afford　to　look　frumpy。〃
　　Bullshit；　thought　Ford。　Even　supposing　this　was　the　home　of　some　ancient　civilization　now　gone　to　dust；　even　supposing　a　number　of　exceedingly　unlikely　things；　there　was　no　way　that　vast　treasures　of　wealth　were　going　to　be　stored　there　in　any　form　that　would　still　have　meaning　now。　He　shrugged。
　　〃I　think　it's　just　a　dead　planet；〃　he　said。
　　〃The　suspense　is　killing　me；〃　said　Arthur　testily。
　　Stress　and　nervous　tension　are　now　serious　social　problems　in　all　parts　of　the　Galaxy；　and　it　is　in　order　that　this　situation　should　not　in　any　way　be　exacerbated　that　the　following　facts　will　now　be　revealed　in　advance。
　　The　planet　in　question　is　in　fact　the　legendary　Magrathea。　The　deadly　missile　attack　shortly　to　be　launched　by　an　ancient　automatic　defence　system　will　result　merely　in　the　breakage　of　three　coffee　cups　and　a　micecage；　the　bruising　of　somebody's　upper　arm；　and　the　untimely　creation　and　sudden　demise　of　a　bowl　of　petunias　and　an　innocent　sperm　whale。
　　In　order　that　some　sense　of　mystery　should　still　be　preserved；　no　revelation　will　yet　be　made　concerning　whose　upper　arm　sustained　the　bruise。　This　fact　may　safely　be　made　the　subject　of　suspense　since　it　is　of　no　significance　whatsoever。
　　
　　
　　　Chapter　17
　　
　　After　a　fairly　shaky　start　to　the　day；　Arthur's　mind　was　beginning　to　reassemble　itself　from　the　shellshocked　fragments　the　previous　day　had　left　him　with。　He　had　found　a　Nutri…Matic　machine　which　had　provided　him　with　a　plastic　cup　filled　with　a　liquid　that　was　almost；　but　not　quite；　entirely　unlike　tea。　The　way　it　functioned　was　very　interesting。　When　the　Drink　button　was　pressed　it　made　an　instant　but　highly　detailed　examination　of　the　subject's　taste　buds；　a　spectroscopic　analysis　of　the　subject's　metabolism　and　then　sent　tiny　experimental　signals　down　the　neural　pathways　to　the　taste　centres　of　the　subject's　brain　to　see　what　was　likely　to　go　down　well。　However；　no　one　knew　quite　why　it　did　this　because　it　invariably　delivered　a　cupful　of　liquid　that　was　almost；　but　not　quite；　entirely　unlike　tea。　The　Nutri…Matic　was　designed　and　manufactured　by　the　Sirius　Cybernetics　Corporation　whose　plaints　department　now　covers　all　the　major　land　masses　of　the　first　three　planets　in　the　Sirius　Tau　Star　system。
　　Arthur　drank　the　liquid　and　found　it　reviving。　He　glanced　up　at　the　screens　again　and　watched　a　few　more　hundred　miles　of　barren　greyness　slide　past。　It　suddenly　occurred　to　him　to　ask　a　question　which　had　been　bothering　him。
　　〃Is　it　safe？〃　he　said。
　　〃Magrathea's　been　dead　for　five　million　years；〃　said　Zaphod；　〃of　course　it's　safe。　Even　the　ghosts　will　have　settled　down　and　raised　families　by　now。〃　At　which　point　a　strange　and　inexplicable　sound　thrilled　suddenly　through　the　bridge　…　a　noise　as　of　a　distant　fanfare；　a　hollow；　reedy；　insubstantial　sound。　It　preceded　a　voice　that　was　equally　hollow；　reedy　and　insubstantial。　The　voice　said　〃Greetings　to　you。。。〃
　　Someone　from　the　dead　planet　was　talking　to　them。
　　〃puter！〃　shouted　Zaphod。
　　〃Hi　there！〃
　　〃What　the　photon　is　it？〃
　　〃Oh；　just　some　five…million…year…old　tape　that's　being　broadcast　at　us。〃
　　〃A　what？　A　recording？〃
　　〃Shush！〃　said　Ford。　〃It's　carrying　on。〃
　　The　voice　was　old；　courteous；　almost　charming；　but　was　underscored　with　quite　unmistakable　menace。
　　〃This　is　a　recorded　announcement；〃　it　said；　〃as　I'm　afraid　we're　all　out　at　the　moment。　The　mercial　council　of　Magrathea　thanks　you　for　your　esteemed　visit。。。〃
　　（〃A　voice　from　ancient　Magrathea！〃　shouted　Zaphod。　〃OK；　OK；〃　said　Ford。）
　　〃。。。　but　regrets；〃　continued　the　voice；　〃that　the　entire　planet　is　temporarily　closed　for　business。　Thank　you。　If　you　would　care　to　leave　your　name　and　the　address　of　a　planet　where　you　can　be　contacted；　kindly　speak　when　you　hear　the　tone。〃
　　A　short　buzz　followed；　then　silence。
　　〃They　want　to　get　rid　of　us；〃　said　Trillian　nervously。　〃What　do　we　do？〃
　　〃It's　just　a　recording；〃　said　Zaphod。　〃We　keep　going。　Got　that；　puter？〃
　　〃I　got　it；〃　said　the　puter　and　gave　the　ship　an　extra　kick　of　speed。
　　They　waited。
　　After　a　second　or　so　came　the　fanfare　once　again；　and　then　the　voice。
　　〃We　would　like　to　assure　you　that　as　soon　as　our　business　is　resumed　announcements　will　be　made　in　all　fashionable　magazines　and　colour　supplements；　when　our　clients　will　once　again　be　able　to　select　from　all　that's　best　in　contemporary　geography。〃　The　menace　in　the　voice　took　on　a　sharper　edge。　〃Meanwhile　we　thank　our　clients　for　their　kind　interest　and　would　ask　them　to　leave。　Now。〃
　　Arthur　looked　round　the　nervous　faces　of　his　panions。
　　〃Well；　I　suppose　we'd　better　be　going　then；　hadn't　we？〃　he　suggested。
　　〃Shhh！〃　said　Zaphod。　〃There's　absolutely　nothing　to　be　worried　about。〃
　　〃Then　why's　everyone　so　tense？〃
　　〃They're　just　interested！〃　shouted　Zaphod。　〃puter；　start　a　descent　into　the　atmosphere　and　prepare　for　landing。〃
　　This　time　the　fanfare　was　quite　perfunctory；　the　voice　distinctly　cold。
　　〃It　is　most　gratifying；〃　it　said；　〃that　your　enthusiasm　for　our　planet　continues　unabated；　and　so　we　would　like　to　assure　you　that　the　guided　missiles　currently　converging　with　your　ship　are　part　of　a　special　service　we　extend　to　all　of　our　most　enthusiastic　clients；　and　the　fully　armed　nuclear　warheads　are　of　course　merely　a　courtesy　detail。　We　look　forward　to　your　custom　in　future　lives。。。　thank　you。〃
　　The　voice　snapped　off。
　　〃Oh；〃　said　Trillian。
　　〃Er。。。〃　said　Arthur。
　　〃Well？〃　said　Ford。
　　〃Look；〃　said　Zaphod；　〃will　you　get　it　into　your　heads？　That's　just　a　recorded　message。　It's　millions　of　years　old。　It　doesn't　apply　to　us；　get　it？〃
　　〃What；〃　said　Trillian　quietly；　〃about　the　missiles？〃
　　〃Missiles？　Don't　make　me　laugh。〃
　　Ford　tapped　Zaphod　on　the　shoulder　and　pointed　at　the　rear　screen。　Clear　in　the　distance　behind　them　two　silver　darts　were　climbing　through　the　atmosphere　towards　the　ship。　A　quick　change　of　magnification　brought　them　into　close　focus　…　two　massively　real　rockets　thundering　through　the　sky。　The　suddenness　of　it　was　shocking。
　　〃I　think　they're　going　to　have　a　very　good　try　at　applying　to　us；〃　said　Ford。
　　Zaphod　stared　at　them　in　astonishment。
　　〃Hey　this　is　terrific！〃　he　said。　〃Someone　down　there　is　trying　to　kill　us！〃
　　〃Terrific；〃　said　Arthur。
　　〃But　don't　you　see　what　this　means？〃
　　〃Yes。　We're　going　to　die。〃