da.thehitchhikersguidetothegalaxy-第17部分

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　　〃Hey　this　is　terrific！〃　he　said。　〃Someone　down　there　is　trying　to　kill　us！〃
　　〃Terrific；〃　said　Arthur。
　　〃But　don't　you　see　what　this　means？〃
　　〃Yes。　We're　going　to　die。〃
　　〃Yes；　but　apart　from　that。〃
　　〃Apart　from　that？〃
　　〃It　means　we　must　be　on　to　something！〃
　　〃How　soon　can　we　get　off　it？〃
　　Second　by　second　the　image　of　the　missiles　on　the　screen　became　larger。　They　had　swung　round　now　on　to　a　direct　homing　course　so　that　all　that　could　be　seen　of　them　now　was　the　warheads；　head　on。
　　〃As　a　matter　of　interest；〃　said　Trillian；　〃what　are　we　going　to　do？〃
　　〃Just　keep　cool；〃　said　Zaphod。
　　〃Is　that　all？〃　shouted　Arthur。
　　〃No；　we're　also　going　to。。。　er。。。　take　evasive　action！〃　said
　　Zaphod　with　a　sudden　access　of　panic。　〃puter；　what　evasive　action　can　we　take？〃
　　〃Er；　none　I'm　afraid；　guys；〃　said　the　puter。
　　〃。。。　or　something；〃　said　Zaphod；　〃。。。　er。。。〃　he　said。
　　〃There　seems　to　be　something　jamming　my　guidance　system；〃　explained　the　puter　brightly；　〃impact　minus　forty…five　seconds。　Please　call　me　Eddie　if　it　will　help　you　to　relax。〃
　　Zaphod　tried　to　run　in　several　equally　decisive　directions　simultaneously。　〃Right！〃　he　said。　〃Er。。。　we've　got　to　get　manual　control　of　this　ship。〃
　　〃Can　you　fly　her？〃　asked　Ford　pleasantly。
　　〃No；　can　you？〃
　　〃No。〃
　　〃Trillian；　can　you？〃
　　〃No。〃
　　〃Fine；〃　said　Zaphod；　relaxing。　〃We'll　do　it　together。〃
　　〃I　can't　either；〃　said　Arthur；　who　felt　it　was　time　he　began　to　assert　himself。
　　　
　　〃I'd　guessed　that；〃　said　Zaphod。　〃OK　puter；　I　want　full　manual　control　now。〃
　　〃You　got　it；〃　said　the　puter。
　　Several　large　desk　panels　slid　open　and　banks　of　control　consoles　sprang　up　out　of　them；　showering　the　crew　with　bits　of　expanded　polystyrene　packaging　and　balls　of　rolled…up　cellophane：　these　controls　had　never　been　used　before。
　　Zaphod　stared　at　them　wildly。
　　〃OK；　Ford；〃　he　said；　〃full　retro　thrust　and　ten　degrees　starboard。　Or　something。。。〃
　　〃Good　luck　guys；〃　chirped　the　puter；　〃impact　minus　thirty　seconds。。。〃
　　Ford　leapt　to　the　controls　…　only　a　few　of　them　made　any　immediate　sense　to　him　so　he　pulled　those。　The　ship　shook　and　screamed　as　its　guidance　rocked　jets　tried　to　push　it　every　which　way　simultaneously。　He　released　half　of　them　and　the　ship　span　round　in　a　tight　arc　and　headed　back　the　way　it　had　e；　straight　towards　the　oning　missiles。
　　Air　cushions　ballooned　out　of　the　walls　in　an　instant　as　everyone　was　thrown　against　them。　For　a　few　seconds　the　inertial　forces　held　them　flattened　and　squirming　for　breath；　unable　to　move。　Zaphod　struggled　and　pushed　in　manic　desperation　and　finally　managed　a　savage　kick　at　a　small　lever　that　formed　part　of　the　guidance　system。
　　The　lever　snapped　off。　The　ship　twisted　sharply　and　rocketed　upwards。　The　crew　were　hurled　violently　back　across　the　cabin。　Ford's　copy　of　The　Hitch　Hiker's　Guide　to　the　Galaxy　smashed　into　another　section　of　the　control　console　with　the　bined　result　that　the　guide　started　to　explain　to　anyone　who　cared　to　listen　about　the　best　ways　of　smuggling　Antarean　parakeet　glands　out　of　Antares　（an　Antarean　parakeet　gland　stuck　on　a　small　stick　is　a　revolting　but　much　sought　after　cocktail　delicacy　and　very　large　sums　of　money　are　often　paid　for　them　by　very　rich　idiots　who　want　to　impress　other　very　rich　idiots）；　and　the　ship　suddenly　dropped　out　of　the　sky　like　a　stone。
　　It　was　of　course　more　or　less　at　this　moment　that　one　of　the　crew　sustained　a　nasty　bruise　to　the　upper　arm。　This　should　be　emphasized　because；　as　had　already　been　revealed；　they　escape　otherwise　pletely　unharmed　and　the　deadly　nuclear　missiles　do　not　eventually　hit　the　ship。　The　safety　of　the　crew　is　absolutely　assured。
　　〃Impact　minus　twenty　seconds；　guys。。。〃　said　the　puter。
　　〃Then　turn　the　bloody　engines　back　on！〃　bawled　Zaphod。
　　〃OK；　sure　thing；　guys；〃　said　the　puter。　With　a　subtle　roar　the　engines　cut　back　in；　the　ship　smoothly　flattened　out　of　its　dive　and　headed　back　towards　the　missiles　again。
　　The　puter　started　to　sing。
　　〃When　you　walk　through　the　storm。。。〃　it　whined　nasally；　〃hold　your　head　up　high。。。〃
　　Zaphod　screamed　at　it　to　shut　up；　but　his　voice　was　lost　in　the　din　of　what　they　quite　naturally　assumed　was　approaching　destruction。
　　〃And　don't。。。　be　afraid。。。　of　the　dark！〃　Eddie　wailed。
　　The　ship；　in　flattening　out　had　in　fact　flattened　out　upside　down　and　lying　on　the　ceiling　as　they　were　it　was　now　totally　impossible　for　any　of　the　crew　to　reach　the　guidance　systems。
　　〃At　the　end　of　the　storm。。。〃　crooned　Eddie。
　　The　two　missiles　loomed　massively　on　the　screens　as　they　thundered　towards　the　ship。
　　〃。。。　is　a　golden　sky。。。〃
　　But　by　an　extraordinarily　lucky　chance　they　had　not　yet　fully　corrected　their　flight　paths　to　that　of　the　erratically　weaving　ship；　and　they　passed　right　under　it。
　　〃And　the　sweet　silver　songs　of　the　lark。。。　Revised　impact　time　fifteen　seconds　fellas。。。　Walk　on　through　the　wind。。。〃
　　The　missiles　banked　round　in　a　screeching　arc　and　plunged　back　into　pursuit。
　　〃This　is　it；〃　said　Arthur　watching　them。　〃We　are　now　quite　definitely　going　to　die　aren't　we？〃
　　〃I　wish　you'd　stop　saying　that；〃　shouted　Ford。
　　〃Well　we　are　aren't　we？〃
　　〃Yes。〃
　　〃Walk　on　through　the　rain。。。〃　sang　Eddie。
　　A　thought　struck　Arthur。　He　struggled　to　his　feet。
　　〃Why　doesn't　anyone　turn　on　this　Improbability　Drive　thing？〃　he　said。　〃We　could　probably　reach　that。〃
　　〃What　are　you　crazy？〃　said　Zaphod。　〃Without　proper　programming　anything　could　happen。〃
　　〃Does　that　matter　at　this　stage？〃　shouted　Arthur。
　　〃Though　your　dreams　be　tossed　and　blown。。。〃　sand　Eddie。
　　Arthur　scrambled　up　on　to　one　end　of　the　excitingly　chunky　pieces　of　moulded　contouring　where　the　curve　of　the　wall　met　the　ceiling。
　　〃Walk　on；　walk　on；　with　hope　in　your　heart。。。〃
　　〃Does　anyone　know　why　Arthur　can't　turn　on　the　Improbability　Drive？〃　shouted　Trillian。
　　〃And　you'll　never　walk　alone。。。　Impact　minus　five　seconds；　it's　been　great　knowing　you　guys；　God　bless。。。　You'll　ne。。。　ver。。。　walk。。。　alone！〃
　　〃I　said；〃　yelled　Trillian；　〃does　anyone　know。。。〃
　　The　next　thing　that　happened　was　a　mid…mangling　explosion　of　noise　and　light。
　　
　　
　　　Chapter　18
　　
　　And　the　next　thing　that　happened　after　that　was　that　the　Heart　of　Gold　continued　on　its　way　perfectly　normally　with　a　rather　fetchingly　redesigned　interior。　It　was　somewhat　larger；　and　done　out　in　delicate　pastel　shades　of　green　and　blue。　In　the　centre　a　spiral　staircase；　leading　nowhere　in　particular；　stood　in　a　spray　of　ferns　and　yellow　flowers　and　next　to　it　a　stone　sundial　pedestal　housed　the　main　puter　terminal。　Cunningly　deployed　lighting　and　mirrors　created　the　illusion　of　standing　in　a　conservatory　overlooking　a　wide　stretch　of　exquisitely　manicured　garden。　Around　the　periphery　of　the　conservatory　area　stood　marble…topped　tables　on　intricately　beautiful　wrought…iron　legs。　As　you　gazed　into　the　polished　surface　of　the　marble　the　vague　forms　of　instruments　became　visible；　and　as　you　touched　them　the　instruments　materialized　instantly　under　your　hands。　Looked　at　from　the　correct　angles　the　mirrors　appeared　to　reflect　all　the　required　data　readouts；　though　it　was　far　from　clear　where　they　were　reflected　from。　It　was　in　fact　sensationally　beautiful。
　　Relaxing　in　a　wickerwork　sun　chair；　Zaphod　Beeblebrox　said；　〃What　the　hell　happened？〃
　　〃Well　I　was　just　saying；〃　said　Arthur　lounging　by　a　small　fish　pool；　〃there's　this　Improbability　Drive　switch　over　here。。。〃　he　waved　at　where　it　had　been。　There　was　a　potted　plant　there　now。
　　〃But　where　are　we？〃　said　Ford　who　was　sitting　on　the　spiral　staircase；　a　nicely　chilled　Pan　Galactic　Gargle　Blaster　in　his　hand。
　　〃Exactly　where　we　were；　I　think。。。〃　said　Trillian；　as　all　about　them　the　mirrors　showed　them　an　image　of　the　blighted　landscape　of　Magrathea　which　still　scooted　along　beneath　them。
　　Zaphod　leapt　out　of　his　seat。
　　〃Then　what's　happened　to　the　missiles？〃　he　said。
　　A　new　and　astounding　image　appeared　in　the　mirrors。
　　〃They　would　appear；〃　said　Ford　doubtfully；　〃to　have　turned　into　a　bowl　of　petunias　and　a　very　surprised　looking　whale。。。〃
　　〃At　an　Improbability　Factor；〃　cut　in　Eddie；　who　hadn't　changed　a　bit；　〃of　eight　million　seven　hundred　and　sixty…seven　thousand　one　hundred　and　twenty…eight　to　one　against。〃
　　Zaphod　stared　at　Arthur。
　　〃Did　you　think　of　that；　Earthman？〃　he　demanded。
　　〃Well；〃　said　Arthur；　〃all　I　did　was。。。〃
　　〃That's　very　good　thinking　you　know。　Turn　on　the　Improbability　Drive　for　a　second　without　first　activating　the　proofing　screens。　Hey　kid　you　just　saved　our　lives；　you　know　that？〃
　　〃Oh；〃　said　Arthur；　〃well；　it　was　nothing　really。。。〃
　　〃Was　it？〃　said　Zaphod。　〃Oh　well；　forget　it　then。　OK；　puter；　take　us　in　to　land。〃
　　〃But。。。〃
　　〃I　said　forget　it。〃
　　Another　thing　that　got　forgotten　was　the　fact　that　against　all　probability　a　sperm　whale　had　suddenly　been　called　into　existence　several　miles　above　the　surface　of　an　alien　planet。
　　And　since　this　is　not　a　naturally　tenable　position　for　a　whale；　this　poor　innocent　creature　had　very　little　time　to　e　to　terms　with　its　identity　as　a　whale　before　it　then　had　to　e　to　terms　with　not　being　a　whale　any　more。
　　This　is　a　plete　record　of　its　thoughts　from　the　moment　it　began　its　life　till　the　moment　it　ended　it。
　　Ah。。。　！　What's　happening？　it　thought。　Er；　excuse　me；　who　am　I？　Hello？　Why　am　I　here？　What's　my　purpose　in　life？　What　do　I　mean　by　who　am　I？　Calm　down；　get　a　grip　now。。。　oh！　this　is　an　interesting　sensation；　what　is　it？　It's　a　sort　of。。。　yawning；　tingling　sensation　in　my。。。　my。。。　well　I　suppose　I'd　better　start　finding　names　for　things　if　I　want　to　make　any　headway　in　what　for　the　sake　of　what　I　shall　call　an　argument　I　shall　call　the　world；　so　let's　call　it　my　stomach。
　　Good。　Ooooh；　it's　getting　quite　strong。　And　hey；　what's　about　this　whistling　roaring　sound　going　past　what　I'm　suddenly　going　to　call　my　head？　Perhaps　I　can　call　that。。。　wind！　Is　that　a　good　name？　It'll　do。。。　perhaps　I　can　find　a　better　name　for　it　later　when　I've　found　out　what　it's　for。　It　must　be　something　very　important　because　there　certainly　seems　to　be　a　hell　of　a　lot　of　it。　He