da.thehitchhikersguidetothegalaxy-第18部分

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a　lot　of　it。　Hey！　What's　this　thing？　This。。。　let's　call　it　a　tail　…　yeah；　tail。　Hey！　I　can　can　really　thrash　it　about　pretty　good　can't　I？　Wow！　Wow！　That　feels　great！　Doesn't　seem　to　achieve　very　much　but　I'll　probably　find　out　what　it's　for　later　on。　Now　…　have　I　built　up　any　coherent　picture　of　things　yet？
　　No。
　　Never　mind；　hey；　this　is　really　exciting；　so　much　to　find　out　about；　so　much　to　look　forward　to；　I'm　quite　dizzy　with　anticipation。。。
　　Or　is　it　the　wind？
　　There　really　is　a　lot　of　that　now　isn't　it？
　　And　wow！　Hey！　What's　this　thing　suddenly　ing　towards　me　very　fast？　Very　very　fast。　So　big　and　flat　and　round；　it　needs　a　big　wide　sounding　name　like。。。　ow。。。　ound。。。　round。。。　ground！
　　That's　it！　That's　a　good　name　…　ground！
　　I　wonder　if　it　will　be　friends　with　me？
　　And　the　rest；　after　a　sudden　wet　thud；　was　silence。
　　Curiously　enough；　the　only　thing　that　went　through　the　mind　of　the　bowl　of　petunias　as　it　fell　was　Oh　no；　not　again。　Many　people　have　speculated　that　if　we　knew　exactly　why　the　bowl　of　petunias　had　thought　that　we　would　know　a　lot　more　about　the　nature　of　the　universe　than　we　do　now。
　　
　　
　　　Chapter　19
　　
　　〃Are　we　taking　this　robot　with　us？〃　said　Ford；　looking　with　distaste　at　Marvin　who　was　standing　in　an　awkward　hunched　posture　in　the　corner　under　a　small　palm　tree。
　　Zaphod　glanced　away　from　the　mirror　screens　which　presented　a　panoramic　view　of　the　blighted　landscape　on　which　the　Heart　of　Gold　had　now　landed。
　　〃Oh；　the　Paranoid　Android；〃　he　said。　〃Yeah；　we'll　take　him。〃
　　〃But　what　are　supposed　to　do　with　a　manically　depressed　robot？〃
　　〃You　think　you've　got　problems；〃　said　Marvin　as　if　he　was　addressing　a　newly　occupied　coffin；　〃what　are　you　supposed　to　do　if　you　are　a　manically　depressed　robot？　No；　don't　bother　to　answer　that；　I'm　fifty　thousand　times　more　intelligent　than　you　and　even　I　don't　know　the　answer。　It　gives　me　a　headache　just　trying　to　think　down　to　your　level。〃
　　Trillian　burst　in　through　the　door　from　her　cabin。
　　〃My　white　mice　have　escaped！〃　she　said。
　　An　expression　of　deep　worry　and　concern　failed　to　cross　either　of　Zaphod's　faces。
　　〃Nuts　to　your　white　mice；〃　he　said。
　　Trillian　glared　an　upset　glare　at　him；　and　disappeared　again。
　　It　is　possible　that　her　remark　would　have　manded　greater　attention　had　it　been　generally　realized　that　human　beings　were　only　the　third　most　intelligent　life　form　present　on　the　planet　Earth；　instead　of　（as　was　generally　thought　by　most　independent　observers）　the　second。
　　〃Good　afternoon　boys。〃
　　The　voice　was　oddly　familiar；　but　oddly　different。　It　had　a　matriarchal　twang。　It　announced　itself　to　the　crew　as　they　arrived　at　the　airlock　hatchway　that　would　let　them　out　on　the　planet　surface。
　　They　looked　at　each　other　in　puzzlement。
　　〃It's　the　puter；〃　explained　Zaphod。　〃I　discovered　it　had　an　emergency　back…up　personality　that　I　thought　might　work　out　better。〃
　　〃Now　this　is　going　to　be　your　first　day　out　on　a　strange　new　planet；〃　continued　Eddie's　new　voice；　〃so　I　want　you　all　wrapped　up　snug　and　warm；　and　no　playing　with　any　naughty　bug…eyed　monsters。〃
　　Zaphod　tapped　impatiently　on　the　hatch。
　　〃I'm　sorry；〃　he　said；　〃I　think　we　might　be　better　off　with　a　slide　rule。〃
　　　
　　〃Right！〃　snapped　the　puter。　〃Who　said　that？〃
　　〃Will　you　open　the　exit　hatch　please；　puter？〃　said　Zaphod　trying　not　to　get　angry。
　　〃Not　until　whoever　said　that　owns　up；〃　urged　the　puter；　stamping　a　few　synapses　closed。
　　〃Oh　God；〃　muttered　Ford；　slumped　against　a　bulkhead　and　started　to　count　to　ten。　He　was　desperately　worried　that　one　day　sentient　life　forms　would　forget　how　to　do　this。　Only　by　counting　could　humans　demonstrate　their　independence　of　puters。
　　〃e　on；〃　said　Eddie　sternly。
　　〃puter。。。〃　began　Zaphod。。。
　　〃I'm　waiting；〃　interrupted　Eddie。　〃I　can　wait　all　day　if　necessary。。。〃
　　〃puter。。。〃　said　Zaphod　again；　who　had　been　trying　to　think　of　some　subtle　piece　of　reasoning　to　put　the　puter　down　with；　and　had　decided　not　to　bother　peting　with　it　on　its　own　ground；　〃if　you　don't　open　that　exit　hatch　this　moment　I　shall　zap　straight　off　to　your　major　data　banks　and　reprogram　you　with　a　very　large　axe；　got　that？〃
　　Eddie；　shocked；　paused　and　considered　this。　Ford　carried　on　counting　quietly。　This　is　about　the　most　aggressive　thing　you　can　do　to　a　puter；　the　equivalent　of　going　up　to　a　human　being　and　saying　Blood。。。　blood。。。　blood。。。　blood。。。
　　Finally　Eddie　said　quietly；　〃I　can　see　this　relationship　is　something　we're　all　going　to　have　to　work　at；〃　and　the　hatchway　opened。
　　An　icy　wind　ripped　into　them；　they　hugged　themselves　warmly　and　stepped　down　the　ramp　on　to　the　barren　dust　of　Magrathea。
　　〃It'll　all　end　in　tears；　I　know　it；〃　shouted　Eddie　after　them　and　closed　the　hatchway　again。
　　A　few　minutes　later　he　opened　and　closed　the　hatchway　again　in　response　to　a　mand　that　caught　him　entirely　by　surprise。
　　
　　
　　　Chapter　20
　　
　　Five　figures　wandered　slowly　over　the　blighted　land。　Bits　of　it　were　dullish　grey；　bits　of　it　dullish　brown；　the　rest　of　it　rather　less　interesting　to　look　at。　It　was　like　a　dried…out　marsh；　now　barren　of　all　vegetation　and　covered　with　a　layer　of　dust　about　an　inch　thick。　It　was　very　cold。
　　Zaphod　was　clearly　rather　depressed　about　it。　He　stalked　off　by　himself　and　was　soon　lost　to　sight　behind　a　slight　rise　in　the　ground。
　　The　wind　stung　Arthur's　eyes　and　ears；　and　the　stale　thin　air　clasped　his　throat。　However；　the　thing　stung　most　was　his　mind。
　　〃It's　fantastic。。。〃　he　said；　and　his　own　voice　rattled　his　ears。　Sound　carried　badly　in　this　thin　atmosphere。
　　〃Desolate　hole　if　you　ask　me；〃　said　Ford。　〃I　could　have　more　fun　in　a　cat　litter。〃　He　felt　a　mounting　irritation。　Of　all　the　planets　in　all　the　star　systems　of　all　the　Galaxy　…　didn't　he　just　have　to　turn　up　at　a　dump　like　this　after　fifteen　years　of　being　a　castaway？　Not　even　a　hot　dog　stand　in　evidence。　He　stooped　down　and　picked　up　a　cold　clot　of　earth；　but　there　was　nothing　underneath　it　worth　crossing　thousands　of　light　years　to　look　at。
　　〃No；〃　insisted　Arthur；　〃don't　you　understand；　this　is　the　first　time　I've　actually　stood　on　the　surface　of　another　planet。。。　a　whole　alien　world。。。！　Pity　it's　such　a　dump　though。〃
　　Trillian　hugged　herself；　shivered　and　frowned。　She　could　have　sworn　she　saw　a　slight　and　unexpected　movement　out　of　the　corner　of　her　eye；　but　when　she　glanced　in　that　direction　all　she　could　see　was　the　ship；　still　and　silent；　a　hundred　yards　or　so　behind　them。
　　She　was　relieved　when　a　second　or　so　later　they　caught　sight　of　Zaphod　standing　on　top　of　the　ridge　of　ground　and　waving　to　them　to　e　and　join　him。
　　He　seemed　to　be　excited；　but　they　couldn't　clearly　hear　what　he　was　saying　because　of　the　thinnish　atmosphere　and　the　wind。
　　As　they　approached　the　ridge　of　higher　ground　they　became　aware　that　it　seemed　to　be　circular　…　a　crater　about　a　hundred　and　fifty　yards　wide。　Round　the　outside　of　the　crater　the　sloping　ground　was　spattered　with　black　and　red　lumps。　They　stopped　and　looked　at　a　piece。　It　was　wet。　It　was　rubbery。
　　With　horror　they　suddenly　realized　that　it　was　fresh　whalemeat。
　　At　the　top　of　the　crater's　lip　they　met　Zaphod。
　　〃Look；〃　he　said；　pointing　into　the　crater。
　　In　the　centre　lay　the　exploded　carcass　of　a　lonely　sperm　whale　that　hadn't　lived　long　enough　to　be　disappointed　with　its　lot。　The　silence　was　only　disturbed　by　the　slight　involuntary　spasms　of　Trillian's　throat。
　　〃I　suppose　there's　no　point　in　trying　to　bury　it？〃　murmured　Arthur；　and　then　wished　he　hadn't。
　　〃e；〃　said　Zaphod　and　started　back　down　into　the　crater。
　　〃What；　down　there？〃　said　Trillian　with　severe　distaste。
　　〃Yeah；〃　said　Zaphod；　〃e　on；　I've　got　something　to　show　you。〃
　　〃We　can　see　it；〃　said　Trillian。
　　〃Not　that；〃　said　Zaphod；　〃something　else。　e　on。〃
　　They　all　hesitated。
　　〃e　on；〃　insisted　Zaphod；　〃I've　found　a　way　in。〃
　　〃In？〃　said　Arthur　in　horror。
　　〃Into　the　interior　of　the　planet！　An　underground　passage。　The　force　of　the　whale's　impact　cracked　it　open；　and　that's　where　we　have　to　go。　Where　no　man　has　trod　these　five　million　years；　into　the　very　depths　of　time　itself。。。〃
　　Marvin　started　his　ironical　humming　again。　Zaphod　hit　him　and　he　shut　up。　With　little　shudders　of　disgust　they　all　followed　Zaphod　down　the　incline　into　the　crater；　trying　very　hard　not　to　look　at　its　unfortunate　creator。
　　〃Life；〃　said　Marvin　dolefully；　〃loathe　it　or　ignore　it；　you　can't　like　it。〃
　　The　ground　had　caved　in　where　the　whale　had　hit　it　revealing　a　network　of　galleries　and　passages；　now　largely　obstructed　by　collapsed　rubble　and　entrails。　Zaphod　had　made　a　start　clearing　a　way　into　one　of　them；　but　Marvin　was　able　to　do　it　rather　faster。　Dank　air　wafted　out　of　its　dark　recesses；　and　as　Zaphod　shone　a　torch　into　it；　little　was　visible　in　the　dusty　gloom。
　　〃According　to　the　legends；〃　he　said；　〃the　Magratheans　lived　most　of　their　lives　underground。〃
　　〃Why's　that？〃　said　Arthur。　〃Did　the　surface　bee　too　polluted　or　overpopulated？〃
　　〃No；　I　don't　think　so；〃　said　Zaphod。　〃I　think　they　just　didn't　like　it　very　much。〃
　　〃Are　you　sure　you　know　what　you're　doing？〃　said　Trillian　peering　nervously　into　the　darkness。　〃We've　been　attacked　once　already　you　know。〃
　　〃Look　kid；　I　promise　you　the　live　population　of　this　planet　is　nil　plus　the　four　of　us；　so　e　on；　let's　get　on　in　there。　Er；　hey　Earthman。。。〃
　　〃Arthur；〃　said　Arthur。
　　〃Yeah　could　you　just　sort　of　keep　this　robot　with　you　and　guard　this　end　of　the　passageway。　OK？〃
　　〃Guard？〃　said　Arthur。　〃What　from？　You　just　said　there's　no　one　here。〃
　　〃Yeah；　well；　just　for　safety；　OK？〃　said　Zaphod。
　　〃Whose？　Yours　or　mine？〃
　　〃Good　lad。　OK；　here　we　go。〃
　　Zaphod　scrambled　down　into　the　passage；　followed　by　Trillian　and　Ford。
　　〃Well　I　hope　you　all　have　a　really　miserable　time；〃　plained　Arthur。
　　〃Don't　worry；〃　Marvin　assured　him；　〃they　will。〃
　　In　a　few　seconds　they　had　disappeared　from　view。　Arthur　stamped　around　in　a　huff；　and　then　decided　that　a　whale's　graveyard　is　not　on　the　whole　a　good　place　to　stamp　around　in。
　　Marvin　eyed　him　balefully　for　a　moment；　and　then　turned　himself　off。