da.thehitchhikersguidetothegalaxy-第19部分

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ce　to　stamp　around　in。
　　Marvin　eyed　him　balefully　for　a　moment；　and　then　turned　himself　off。
　　Zaphod　marched　quickly　down　the　passageway；　nervous　as　hell；　but　trying　to　hide　it　by　striding　purposefully。　He　flung　the　torch　beam　around。　The　walls　were　covered　in　dark　tiles　and　were　cold　to　the　touch；　the　air　thick　with　decay。
　　〃There；　what　did　I　tell　you？〃　he　said。　〃An　inhabited　planet。　Magrathea；〃　and　he　strode　on　through　the　dirt　and　debris　that　littered　the　tile　floor。
　　Trillian　was　reminded　unavoidably　of　the　London　Underground；　though　it　was　less　thoroughly　squalid。
　　At　intervals　along　the　walls　the　tiles　gave　way　to　large　mosaics　…　simple　angular　patterns　in　bright　colours。　Trillian　stopped　and　studied　one　of　them　but　could　not　interpret　any　sense　in　them。　　She　called　to　Zaphod。
　　〃Hey；　have　you　any　idea　what　these　strange　symbols　are？〃
　　〃I　think　they're　just　strange　symbols　of　some　kind；〃　said　Zaphod；　hardly　glancing　back。
　　Trillian　shrugged　and　hurried　after　him。
　　From　time　to　time　a　doorway　led　either　to　the　left　or　right　into　smallish　chambers　which　Ford　discovered　to　be　full　of　derelict　puter　equipment。　He　dragged　Zaphod　into　one　to　have　a　look。　Trillian　followed。
　　〃Look；〃　said　Ford；　〃you　reckon　this　is　Magrathea。。。〃
　　〃Yeah；〃　said　Zaphod；　〃and　we　heard　the　voice；　right？〃
　　〃OK；　so　I've　bought　the　fact　that　it's　Magrathea　…　for　the　moment。　What　you　have　so　far　said　nothing　about　is　how　in　the　Galaxy　you　found　it。　You　didn't　just　look　it　up　in　a　star　atlas；　that's　for　sure。〃
　　〃Research。　Government　archives。　Detective　work。　Few　lucky　guesses。　Easy。〃
　　〃And　then　you　stole　the　Heart　of　Gold　to　e　and　look　for　it　with？〃
　　〃I　stole　it　to　look　for　a　lot　of　things。〃
　　〃A　lot　of　things？〃　said　Ford　in　surprise。　〃Like　what？〃
　　〃I　don't　know。〃
　　〃What？〃
　　〃I　don't　know　what　I'm　looking　for。〃
　　〃Why　not？〃
　　〃Because。。。　because。。。　I　think　it　might　be　because　if　I　knew　I　wouldn't　be　able　to　look　for　them。〃
　　〃What；　are　you　crazy？〃
　　〃It's　a　possibility　I　haven't　ruled　out　yet；〃　said　Zaphod　quietly。　〃I　only　know　as　much　about　myself　as　my　mind　can　work　out　under　its　current　conditions。　And　its　current　conditions　are　not　good。〃
　　For　a　long　time　nobody　said　anything　as　Ford　gazed　at　Zaphod　with　a　mind　suddenly　full　of　worry。
　　〃Listen　old　friend；　if　you　want　to。。。〃　started　Ford　eventually。
　　〃No；　wait。。。　I'll　tell　you　something；〃　said　Zaphod。　〃I　freewheel　a　lot。　I　get　an　idea　to　do　something；　and；　hey；　why　not；　I　do　it。　I　reckon　I'll　bee　President　of　the　Galaxy；　and　it　just　happens；　it's　easy。　I　decide　to　steal　this　ship。　I　decide　to　look　for　Magrathea；　and　it　all　just　happens。　Yeah；　I　work　out　how　it　can　best　be　done；　right；　but　it　always　works　out。　It's　like　having　a　Galacticredit　card　which　keeps　on　working　though　you　never　send　off　the　cheques。　And　then　whenever　I　stop　and　think　…　why　did　I　want　to　do　something？　…　how　did　I　work　out　how　to　do　it？　…　I　get　a　very　strong　desire　just　to　stop　thinking　about　it。　Like　I　have　now。　It's　a　big　effort　to　talk　about　it。〃
　　Zaphod　paused　for　a　while。　For　a　while　there　was　silence。　Then　he　frowned　and　said；　〃Last　night　I　was　worrying　about　this　again。　About　the　fact　that　part　of　my　mind　just　didn't　seem　to　work　properly。　Then　it　occurred　to　me　that　the　way　it　seemed　was　that　someone　else　was　using　my　mind　to　have　good　ideas　with；　without　telling　me　about　it。　I　put　the　two　ideas　together　and　decided　that　maybe　that　somebody　had　locked　off　part　of　my　mind　for　that　purpose；　which　was　why　I　couldn't　use　it。　I　wondered　if　there　was　a　way　I　could　check。
　　〃I　went　to　the　ship's　medical　bay　and　plugged　myself　into　the　encephalographic　screen。　I　went　through　every　major　screening　test　on　both　my　heads　…　all　the　tests　I　had　to　go　through　under　government　medical　officers　before　my　nomination　for　Presidency　could　be　properly　ratified。　They　showed　up　nothing。　Nothing　unexpected　at　least。　They　showed　that　I　was　clever；　imaginative；　irresponsible；　untrustworthy；　extrovert；　nothing　you　couldn't　have　guessed。　And　no　other　anomalies。　So　I　started　inventing　further　tests；　pletely　at　random。　Nothing。　Then　I　tried　superimposing　the　results　from　one　head　on　top　of　the　results　from　the　other　head。　Still　nothing。　Finally　I　got　silly；　because　I'd　given　it　all　up　as　nothing　more　than　an　attack　of　paranoia。　Last　thing　I　did　before　I　packed　it　in　was　take　the　superimposed　picture　and　look　at　it　through　a　green　filter。　You　remember　I　was　always　superstitious　about　the　color　green　when　I　was　a　kid？　I　always　wanted　to　be　a　pilot　on　one　of　the　trading　scouts？〃
　　Ford　nodded。
　　〃And　there　it　was；〃　said　Zaphod；　〃clear　as　day。　A　whole　section　in　the　middle　of　both　brains　that　related　only　to　each　other　and　not　to　anything　else　around　them。　Some　bastard　had　cauterized　all　the　synapses　and　electronically　traumatised　those　two　lumps　of　cerebellum。〃
　　Ford　stared　at　him；　aghast。　Trillian　had　turned　white。
　　〃Somebody　did　that　to　you？〃　whispered　Ford。
　　〃Yeah。〃
　　〃But　have　you　any　idea　who？　Or　why？〃
　　〃Why？　I　can　only　guess。　But　I　do　know　who　the　bastard　was。〃
　　〃You　know？　How　do　you　know？〃
　　〃Because　they　left　their　initials　burnt　into　the　cauterized　synapses。　They　left　them　there　for　me　to　see。〃
　　Ford　stared　at　him　in　horror　and　felt　his　skin　begin　to　crawl。
　　〃Initials？　Burnt　into　your　brain？〃
　　〃Yeah。〃
　　〃Well；　what　were　they；　for　God's　sake？〃
　　Zaphod　looked　at　him　in　silence　again　for　a　moment。　Then　he　looked　away。
　　〃Z。B。；〃　he　said。
　　At　that　moment　a　steel　shutter　slammed　down　behind　them　and　gas　started　to　pour　into　the　chamber。
　　〃I'll　tell　you　about　it　later；〃　choked　Zaphod　as　all　three　passed　out。
　　
　　
　　　Chapter　21
　　
　　On　the　surface　of　Magrathea　Arthur　wandered　about　moodily。
　　Ford　had　thoughtfully　left　him　his　copy　of　The　Hitch　Hiker's　Guide　to　the　Galaxy。　to　while　away　the　time　with。　He　pushed　a　few　buttons　at　random。
　　The　Hitch　Hiker's　Guide　to　the　Galaxy　is　a　very　unevenly　edited　book　and　contains　many　passages　that　simply　seemed　to　its　editors　like　a　good　idea　at　the　time。
　　One　of　these　（the　one　Arthur　now　came　across）　supposedly　relates　the　experiences　of　one　Veet　Voojagig；　a　quiet　young　student　at　the　University　of　Maximegalon；　who　pursued　a　brilliant　academic　career　studying　ancient　philology；　transformational　ethics　and　the　wave　harmonic　theory　of　historical　perception；　and　then；　after　a　night　of　drinking　Pan　Galactic　Gargle　Blasters　with　Zaphod　Beeblebrox；　became　increasingly　obsessed　with　the　problem　of　what　had　happened　to　all　the　biros　he'd　bought　over　the　past　few　years。
　　There　followed　a　long　period　of　painstaking　research　during　which　he　visited　all　the　major　centres　of　biro　loss　throughout　the　galaxy　and　eventually　came　up　with　a　quaint　little　theory　which　quite　caught　the　public　imagination　at　the　time。　Somewhere　in　the　cosmos；　he　said；　along　with　all　the　planets　inhabited　by　humanoids；　reptiloids；　fishoids；　walking　treeoids　and　superintelligent　shades　of　the　colour　blue；　there　was　also　a　planet　entirely　given　over　to　biro　life　forms。　And　it　was　to　this　planet　that　unattended　biros　would　make　their　way；　slipping　away　quietly　through　wormholes　in　space　to　a　world　where　they　knew　they　could　enjoy　a　uniquely　biroid　lifestyle；　responding　to　highly　biro…oriented　stimuli；　and　generally　leading　the　biro　equivalent　of　the　good　life。
　　And　as　theories　go　this　was　all　very　fine　and　pleasant　until　Veet　Voojagig　suddenly　claimed　to　have　found　this　planet；　and　to　have　worked　there　for　a　while　driving　a　limousine　for　a　family　of　cheap　green　retractables；　whereupon　he　was　taken　away；　locked　up；　wrote　a　book；　and　was　finally　sent　into　tax　exile；　which　is　the　usual　fate　reserved　for　those　who　are　determined　to　make　a　fool　of　themselves　in　public。
　　When　one　day　an　expedition　was　sent　to　the　spatial　coordinates　that　Voojagig　had　claimed　for　this　planet　they　discovered　only　a　small　asteroid　inhabited　by　a　solitary　old　man　who　claimed　repeatedly　that　nothing　was　true；　though　he　was　later　discovered　to　be　lying。
　　There　did；　however；　remain　the　question　of　both　the　mysterious　60；000　Altairan　dollars　paid　yearly　into　his　Brantisvogan　bank　account；　and　of　course　Zaphod　Beeblebrox's　highly　profitable　second…hand　biro　business。
　　Arthur　read　this；　and　put　the　book　down。　The　robot　still　sat　there；　pletely　inert。　Arthur　got　up　and　walked　to　the　top　of　the　crater。　He　walked　around　the　crater。　He　watched　two　suns　set　magnificently　over　Magrathea。
　　He　went　back　down　into　the　crater。　He　woke　the　robot　up　because　even　a　manically　depressed　robot　is　better　to　talk　to　than　nobody。
　　〃Night's　falling；〃　he　said。　〃Look　robot；　the　stars　are　ing　out。〃
　　From　the　heart　of　a　dark　nebula　it　is　possible　to　see　very　few　stars；　and　only　very　faintly；　but　they　were　there　to　be　seen。
　　The　robot　obediently　looked　at　them；　then　looked　back。
　　〃I　know；〃　he　said。　〃Wretched　isn't　it？〃
　　〃But　that　sunset！　I've　never　seen　anything　like　it　in　my　wildest　dreams。。。　the　two　suns！　It　was　like　mountains　of　fire　boiling　into　space。〃
　　〃I've　seen　it；〃　said　Marvin。　〃It's　rubbish。〃
　　〃We　only　ever　had　the　one　sun　at　home；〃　persevered　Arthur；　〃I　came　from　a　planet　called　Earth　you　know。〃
　　〃I　know；〃　said　Marvin；　〃you　keep　going　on　about　it。　It　sounds　awful。〃
　　〃Ah　no；　it　was　a　beautiful　place。〃
　　〃Did　it　have　oceans？〃
　　〃Oh　yes；〃　said　Arthur　with　a　sigh；　〃great　wide　rolling　blue　oceans。。。〃
　　〃Can't　bear　oceans；〃　said　Marvin。
　　〃Tell　me；〃　inquired　Arthur；　〃do　you　get　on　well　with　other　robots？〃
　　〃Hate　them；〃　said　Marvin。　〃Where　are　you　going？〃　Arthur　couldn't　bear　any　more。　He　had　got　up　again。　〃I　think　I'll　just　take　another　walk；〃　he　said。　〃Don't　blame　you；〃　said　Marvin　and　counted　five　hundred　and　ninety…seven　thousand　million　sheep　before　falling　asleep　again　a　second　later。
　　Arthur　slapped　his　arms　about　himself　to　try　and　get　his　circulation　a　little　more　enthusiastic　about　its　job。　He　trudged　back　up　the　wall　of　the　crater。
　　Because　the　atmosphere　was　so　thin　and　because　there　was　no　moon；　nightfall　was　very　rapid　and　it　was　by　now　very　dark。　Because　of　this；　Arthur　practically　walked　into　the　old　man　before　he　noticed　him。