da.thehitchhikersguidetothegalaxy-第22部分

按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！


　　Their　names　were　Lunkwill　and　Fook。
　　For　a　few　moments　they　sat　in　respectful　silence；　then；　after　exchanging　a　quiet　glance　with　Fook；　Lunkwill　leaned　forward　and　touched　a　small　black　panel。
　　The　subtlest　of　hums　indicated　that　the　massive　puter　was　now　in　total　active　mode。　After　a　pause　it　spoke　to　them　in　a　voice　rich　resonant　and　deep。
　　It　said：　〃What　is　this　great　task　for　which　I；　Deep　Thought；　the　second　greatest　puter　in　the　Universe　of　Time　and　Space　have　been　called　into　existence？〃
　　Lunkwill　and　Fook　glanced　at　each　other　in　surprise。
　　〃Your　task；　O　puter。。。〃　began　Fook。
　　〃No；　wait　a　minute；　this　isn't　right；〃　said　Lunkwill；　worried。　〃We　distinctly　designed　this　puter　to　be　the　greatest　one　ever　and　we're　not　making　do　with　second　best。　Deep　Thought；〃　he　addressed　the　puter；　〃are　you　not　as　we　designed　you　to　be；　the　greatest　most　powerful　puter　in　all　time？〃
　　〃I　described　myself　as　the　second　greatest；〃　intoned　Deep　Thought；　〃and　such　I　am。〃
　　Another　worried　look　passed　between　the　two　programmers。　Lunkwill　cleared　his　throat。
　　〃There　must　be　some　mistake；〃　he　said；　〃are　you　not　a　greatest　puter　than　the　Milliard　Gargantubrain　which　can　count　all　the　atoms　in　a　star　in　a　millisecond？〃
　　〃The　Milliard　Gargantubrain？〃　said　Deep　Thought　with　unconcealed　contempt。　〃A　mere　abacus　…　mention　it　not。〃
　　〃And　are　you　not；〃　said　Fook　leaning　anxiously　forward；　〃a　greater　analyst　than　the　Googleplex　Star　Thinker　in　the　Seventh　Galaxy　of　Light　and　Ingenuity　which　can　calculate　the　trajectory　of　every　single　dust　particle　throughout　a　five…week　Dangrabad　Beta　sand　blizzard？〃
　　〃A　five…week　sand　blizzard？〃　said　Deep　Thought　haughtily。　〃You　ask　this　of　me　who　have　contemplated　the　very　vectors　of　the　atoms　in　the　Big　Bang　itself？　Molest　me　not　with　this　pocket　calculator　stuff。〃
　　The　two　programmers　sat　in　unfortable　silence　for　a　moment。　Then　Lunkwill　leaned　forward　again。
　　〃But　are　you　not；〃　he　said；　〃a　more　fiendish　disputant　than　the　Great　Hyperlobic　Omni…Cognate　Neutron　Wrangler　of　Ciceronicus　12；　the　Magic　and　Indefatigable？〃
　　〃The　Great　Hyperlobic　Omni…Cognate　Neutron　Wrangler；〃　said　Deep　Thought　thoroughly　rolling　the　r's；　〃could　talk　all　four　legs　off　an　Arcturan　MegaDonkey　…　but　only　I　could　persuade　it　to　go　for　a　walk　afterwards。〃
　　〃Then　what；〃　asked　Fook；　〃is　the　problem？〃
　　〃There　is　no　problem；〃　said　Deep　Thought　with　magnificent　ringing　tones。　〃I　am　simply　the　second　greatest　puter　in　the　Universe　of　Space　and　Time。〃
　　〃But　the　second？〃　insisted　Lunkwill。　〃Why　do　you　keep　saying　the　second？　You're　surely　not　thinking　of　the　Multicorticoid　Perspicutron　Titan　Muller　are　you？　Or　the　Pondermatic？　Or　the。。。〃
　　Contemptuous　lights　flashed　across　the　puter's　console。
　　〃I　spare　not　a　single　unit　of　thought　on　these　cybernetic　simpletons！〃　he　boomed。　〃I　speak　of　none　but　the　puter　that　is　to　e　after　me！〃
　　Fook　was　losing　patience。　He　pushed　his　notebook　aside　and　muttered；　〃I　think　this　is　getting　needlessly　messianic。〃
　　〃You　know　nothing　of　future　time；〃　pronounced　Deep　Thought；　〃and　yet　in　my　teeming　circuitry　I　can　navigate　the　infinite　delta　streams　of　future　probability　and　see　that　there　must　one　day　e　a　puter　whose　merest　operational　parameters　I　am　not　worthy　to　calculate；　but　which　it　will　be　my　fate　eventually　to　design。〃
　　Fook　sighed　heavily　and　glanced　across　to　Lunkwill。
　　〃Can　we　get　on　and　ask　the　question？〃　he　said。
　　Lunkwill　motioned　him　to　wait。
　　〃What　puter　is　this　of　which　you　speak？〃　he　asked。
　　〃I　will　speak　of　it　no　further　in　this　present　time；〃　said　Deep　Thought。　〃Now。　Ask　what　else　of　me　you　will　that　I　may　function。　Speak。〃
　　They　shrugged　at　each　other。　Fook　posed　himself。
　　〃O　Deep　Thought　puter；〃　he　said；　〃the　task　we　have　designed　you　to　perform　is　this。　We　want　you　to　tell　us。。。〃　he　paused；　〃。。。　the　Answer！〃
　　〃The　answer？〃　said　Deep　Thought。　〃The　answer　to　what？〃
　　〃Life！〃　urged　Fook。
　　〃The　Universe！〃　said　Lunkwill。
　　〃Everything！〃　they　said　in　chorus。
　　Deep　Thought　paused　for　a　moment's　reflection。
　　〃Tricky；〃　he　said　finally。
　　〃But　can　you　do　it？〃
　　Again；　a　significant　pause。
　　〃Yes；〃　said　Deep　Thought；　〃I　can　do　it。〃
　　〃There　is　an　answer？〃　said　Fook　with　breathless　excitement。〃
　　〃A　simple　answer？〃　added　Lunkwill。
　　〃Yes；〃　said　Deep　Thought。　〃Life；　the　Universe；　and　Everything。　There　is　an　answer。　But；〃　he　added；　〃I'll　have　to　think　about　it。〃
　　A　sudden　motion　destroyed　the　moment：　the　door　flew　open　and　two　angry　men　wearing　the　coarse　faded…blue　robes　and　belts　of　the　Cruxwan　University　burst　into　the　room；　thrusting　aside　the　ineffectual　flunkies　who　tried　to　bar　their　way。
　　〃We　demand　admission！〃　shouted　the　younger　of　the　two　men　elbowing　a　pretty　young　secretary　in　the　throat。
　　〃e　on；〃　shouted　the　older　one；　〃you　can't　keep　us　out！〃　He　pushed　a　junior　programmer　back　through　the　door。
　　〃We　demand　that　you　can't　keep　us　out！〃　bawled　the　younger　one；　though　he　was　now　firmly　inside　the　room　and　no　further　attempts　were　being　made　to　stop　him。
　　〃Who　are　you？〃　said　Lunkwill；　rising　angrily　from　his　seat。　〃What　do　you　want？〃
　　〃I　am　Majikthise！〃　announced　the　older　one。
　　〃And　I　demand　that　I　am　Vroomfondel！〃　shouted　the　younger　one。
　　Majikthise　turned　on　Vroomfondel。　〃It's　alright；〃　he　explained　angrily；　〃you　don't　need　to　demand　that。〃
　　〃Alright！〃　bawled　Vroomfondel　banging　on　an　nearby　desk。　〃I　am　Vroomfondel；　and　that　is　not　a　demand；　that　is　a　solid　fact！　What　we　demand　is　solid　facts！〃
　　〃No　we　don't！〃　exclaimed　Majikthise　in　irritation。　〃That　is　precisely　what　we　don't　demand！〃
　　Scarcely　pausing　for　breath；　Vroomfondel　shouted；　〃We　don't　demand　solid　facts！　What　we　demand　is　a　total　absence　of　solid　facts。　I　demand　that　I　may　or　may　not　be　Vroomfondel！〃
　　〃But　who　the　devil　are　you？〃　exclaimed　an　outraged　Fook。
　　〃We；〃　said　Majikthise；　〃are　Philosophers。〃
　　〃Though　we　may　not　be；〃　said　Vroomfondel　waving　a　warning　finger　at　the　programmers。
　　〃Yes　we　are；〃　insisted　Majikthise。　〃We　are　quite　definitely　here　as　representatives　of　the　Amalgamated　Union　of　Philosophers；　Sages；　Luminaries　and　Other　Thinking　Persons；　and　we　want　this　machine　off；　and　we　want　it　off　now！〃
　　〃What's　the　problem？〃　said　Lunkwill。
　　〃I'll　tell　you　what　the　problem　is　mate；〃　said　Majikthise；　〃demarcation；　that's　the　problem！〃
　　〃We　demand；〃　yelled　Vroomfondel；　〃that　demarcation　may　or　may　not　be　the　problem！〃
　　〃You　just　let　the　machines　get　on　with　the　adding　up；〃　warned　Majikthise；　〃and　we'll　take　care　of　the　eternal　verities　thank　you　very　much。　You　want　to　check　your　legal　position　you　do　mate。　Under　law　the　Quest　for　Ultimate　Truth　is　quite　clearly　the　inalienable　prerogative　of　your　working　thinkers。　Any　bloody　machine　goes　and　actually　finds　it　and　we're　straight　out　of　a　job　aren't　we？　I　mean　what's　the　use　of　our　sitting　up　half　the　night　arguing　that　there　may　or　may　not　be　a　God　if　this　machine　only　goes　and　gives　us　his　bleeding　phone　number　the　next　morning？〃
　　〃That's　right！〃　shouted　Vroomfondel；　〃we　demand　rigidly　defined　areas　of　doubt　and　uncertainty！〃
　　Suddenly　a　stentorian　voice　boomed　across　the　room。
　　〃Might　I　make　an　observation　at　this　point？〃　inquired　Deep　Thought。
　　〃We'll　go　on　strike！〃　yelled　Vroomfondel。
　　〃That's　right！〃　agreed　Majikthise。　〃You'll　have　a　national　Philosopher's　strike　on　your　hands！〃
　　The　hum　level　in　the　room　suddenly　increased　as　several　ancillary　bass　driver　units；　mounted　in　sedately　carved　and　varnished　cabinet　speakers　around　the　room；　cut　in　to　give　Deep　Thought's　voice　a　little　more　power。
　　〃All　I　wanted　to　say；〃　bellowed　the　puter；　〃is　that　my　circuits　are　now　irrevocably　mitted　to　calculating　the　answer　to　the　Ultimate　Question　of　Life；　the　Universe；　and　Everything…〃　he　paused　and　satisfied　himself　that　he　now　had　everyone's　attention；　before　continuing　more　quietly；　〃but　the　programme　will　take　me　a　little　while　to　run。〃
　　Fook　glanced　impatiently　at　his　watch。
　　〃How　long？〃　he　said。
　　〃Seven　and　a　half　million　years；〃　said　Deep　Thought。
　　Lunkwill　and　Fook　blinked　at　each　other。
　　〃Seven　and　a　half　million　years。。。！〃　they　cried　in　chorus。
　　〃Yes；〃　declaimed　Deep　Thought；　〃I　said　I'd　have　to　think　about　it；　didn't　I？　And　it　occurs　to　me　that　running　a　programme　like　this　is　bound　to　create　an　enormous　amount　of　popular　publicity　for　the　whole　area　of　philosophy　in　general。　Everyone's　going　to　have　their　own　theories　about　what　answer　I'm　eventually　to　e　up　with；　and　who　better　to　capitalize　on　that　media　market　than　you　yourself？　So　long　as　you　can　keep　disagreeing　with　each　other　violently　enough　and　slagging　each　other　off　in　the　popular　press；　you　can　keep　yourself　on　the　gravy　train　for　life。　How　does　that　sound？〃
　　The　two　philosophers　gaped　at　him。
　　〃Bloody　hell；〃　said　Majikthise；　〃now　that　is　what　I　call　thinking。　Here　Vroomfondel；　why　do　we　never　think　of　things　like　that？〃
　　〃Dunno；〃　said　Vroomfondel　in　an　awed　whisper；　〃think　our　brains　must　be　too　highly　trained　Majikthise。〃
　　So　saying；　they　turned　on　their　heels　and　walked　out　of　the　door　and　into　a　lifestyle　beyond　their　wildest　dreams。
　　
　　
　　　Chapter　26
　　
　　〃Yes；　very　salutary；〃　said　Arthur；　after　Slartibartfast　had　related　the　salient　points　of　the　story　to　him；　〃but　I　don't　understand　what　all　this　has　got　to　do　with　the　Earth　and　mice　and　things。〃
　　〃That　is　but　the　first　half　of　the　story　Earthman；〃　said　the　old　man。　〃If　you　would　care　to　discover　what　happened　seven　and　a　half　millions　later；　on　the　great　day　of　the　Answer；　allow　me　to　invite　you　to　my　study　where　you　can　experience　the　events　yourself　on　our　Sens…O…Tape　records。　That　is　unless　you　would　care　to　take　a　quick　stroll　on　the　surface　of　New　Earth。　It's　only　half　pleted　I'm　afraid　…　we　haven't　even　finished　burying　the　artificial　dinosaur　skeletons　in　the　crust　yet；　then　we　have　the　Tertiary　and　Quarternary　Periods　of　the　Cenozoic　Era　to　lay　down；　and。。。〃
　　〃No　thank　you；〃　said　Arthur；　〃it　wouldn't　be　quite　the　same。〃
　　〃No；〃　said　Slartibartfast；　〃it　won't　be；〃　and　he　turned　the　aircar　round　and　headed　back　towards　the　mind…numbing　wall。