da.thehitchhikersguidetothegalaxy-第23部分

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mbing　wall。
　　
　　
　　　Chapter　27
　　
　　Slartibartfast's　study　was　a　total　mess；　like　the　results　of　an　explosion　in　a　public　library。　The　old　man　frowned　as　they　stepped　in。
　　〃Terribly　unfortunate；〃　he　said；　〃a　diode　blew　in　one　of　the　life…support　puters。　When　we　tried　to　revive　our　cleaning　staff　we　discovered　they'd　been　dead　for　nearly　thirty　thousand　years。　Who's　going　to　clear　away　the　bodies；　that's　what　I　want　to　know。　Look　why　don't　you　sit　yourself　down　over　there　and　let　me　plug　you　in？〃
　　He　gestured　Arthur　towards　a　chair　which　looked　as　if　it　had　been　made　out　of　the　rib　cage　of　a　stegosaurus。
　　〃It　was　made　out　of　the　rib　cage　of　a　stegosaurus；〃　explained　the　old　man　as　he　pottered　about　fishing　bits　of　wire　out　from　under　tottering　piles　of　paper　and　drawing　instruments。　〃Here；〃　he　said；　〃hold　these；〃　and　passed　a　couple　of　stripped　wire　end　to　Arthur。
　　The　instant　he　took　hold　of　them　a　bird　flew　straight　through　him。
　　He　was　suspended　in　mid…air　and　totally　invisible　to　himself。　Beneath　him　was　a　pretty　treelined　city　square；　and　all　around　it　as　far　as　the　eye　could　see　were　white　concrete　buildings　of　airy　spacious　design　but　somewhat　the　worse　for　wear　…　many　were　cracked　and　stained　with　rain。　Today　however　the　sun　was　shining；　a　fresh　breeze　danced　lightly　through　the　trees；　and　the　odd　sensation　that　all　the　buildings　were　quietly　humming　was　probably　caused　by　the　fact　that　the　square　and　all　the　streets　around　it　were　thronged　with　cheerful　excited　people。　Somewhere　a　band　was　playing；　brightly　coloured　flags　were　fluttering　in　the　breeze　and　the　spirit　of　carnival　was　in　the　air。
　　Arthur　felt　extraordinarily　lonely　stuck　up　in　the　air　above　it　all　without　so　much　as　a　body　to　his　name；　but　before　he　had　time　to　reflect　on　this　a　voice　rang　out　across　the　square　and　called　for　everyone's　attention。
　　A　man　standing　on　a　brightly　dressed　dais　before　the　building　which　clearly　dominated　the　square　was　addressing　the　crowd　over　a　T'annoy。
　　〃O　people　waiting　in　the　Shadow　of　Deep　Thought！〃　he　cried　out。　〃Honoured　Descendants　of　Vroomfondel　and　Majikthise；　the　Greatest　and　Most　Truly　Interesting　Pundits　the　Universe　has　ever　known。。。　The　Time　of　Waiting　is　over！〃
　　Wild　cheers　broke　out　amongst　the　crowd。　Flags；　streamers　and　wolf　whistles　sailed　through　the　air。　The　narrower　streets　looked　rather　like　centipedes　rolled　over　on　their　backs　and　frantically　waving　their　legs　in　the　air。
　　〃Seven　and　a　half　million　years　our　race　has　waited　for　this　Great　and　Hopefully　Enlightening　Day！〃　cried　the　cheer　leader。　〃The　Day　of　the　Answer！〃
　　Hurrahs　burst　from　the　ecstatic　crowd。
　　〃Never　again；〃　cried　the　man；　〃never　again　will　we　wake　up　in　the　morning　and　think　Who　am　I？　What　is　my　purpose　in　life？　Does　it　really；　cosmically　speaking；　matter　if　I　don't　get　up　and　go　to　work？　For　today　we　will　finally　learn　once　and　for　all　the　plain　and　simple　answer　to　all　these　nagging　little　problems　of　Life；　the　Universe　and　Everything！〃
　　As　the　crowd　erupted　once　again；　Arthur　found　himself　gliding　through　the　air　and　down　towards　one　of　the　large　stately　windows　on　the　first　floor　of　the　building　behind　the　dais　from　which　the　speaker　was　addressing　the　crowd。
　　He　experienced　a　moment's　panic　as　he　sailed　straight　through　towards　the　window；　which　passed　when　a　second　or　so　later　he　found　he　had　gone　right　through　the　solid　glass　without　apparently　touching　it。
　　No　one　in　the　room　remarked　on　his　peculiar　arrival；　which　is　hardly　surprising　as　he　wasn't　there。　He　began　to　realize　that　the　whole　experience　was　merely　a　recorded　projection　which　knocked　six…track　seventy…millimetre　into　a　cocked　hat。　
　　The　room　was　much　as　Slartibartfast　had　described　it。　In　seven　and　a　half　million　years　it　had　been　well　looked　after　and　cleaned　regularly　every　century　or　so。　The　ultra…mahagony　desk　was　worn　at　the　edges；　the　carpet　a　little　faded　now；　but　the　large　puter　terminal　sat　in　sparkling　glory　on　the　desk's　leather　top；　as　bright　as　if　it　had　been　constructed　yesterday。
　　Two　severely　dressed　men　sat　respectfully　before　the　terminal　and　waited。
　　〃The　time　is　nearly　upon　us；〃　said　one；　and　Arthur　was　surprised　to　see　a　word　suddenly　materialize　in　thin　air　just　by　the　man's　neck。　The　word　was　Loonquawl；　and　it　flashed　a　couple　of　times　and　the　disappeared　again。　Before　Arthur　was　able　to　assimilate　this　the　other　man　spoke　and　the　word　Phouchg　appeared　by　his　neck。
　　〃Seventy…five　thousand　generations　ago；　our　ancestors　set　this　program　in　motion；〃　the　second　man　said；　〃and　in　all　that　time　we　will　be　the　first　to　hear　the　puter　speak。〃
　　〃An　awesome　prospect；　Phouchg；〃　agreed　the　first　man；　and　Arthur　suddenly　realized　that　he　was　watching　a　recording　with　subtitles。
　　〃We　are　the　ones　who　will　hear；〃　said　Phouchg；　〃the　answer　to　the　great　question　of　Life。。。！〃
　　〃The　Universe。。。！〃　said　Loonquawl。
　　〃And　Everything。。。！〃
　　〃Shhh；〃　said　Loonquawl　with　a　slight　gesture；　〃I　think　Deep　Thought　is　preparing　to　speak！〃
　　There　was　a　moment's　expectant　pause　whilst　panels　slowly　came　to　life　on　the　front　of　the　console。　Lights　flashed　on　and　off　experimentally　and　settled　down　into　a　businesslike　pattern。　A　soft　low　hum　came　from　the　munication　channel。
　　〃Good　morning；〃　said　Deep　Thought　at　last。
　　〃Er。。。　Good　morning；　O　Deep　Thought；〃　said　Loonquawl　nervously；　〃do　you　have。。。　er；　that　is。。。〃
　　〃An　answer　for　you？〃　interrupted　Deep　Thought　majestically。　〃Yes。　I　have。〃
　　The　two　men　shivered　with　expectancy。　Their　waiting　had　not　been　in　vain。
　　〃There　really　is　one？〃　breathed　Phouchg。
　　〃There　really　is　one；〃　confirmed　Deep　Thought。
　　〃To　Everything？　To　the　great　Question　of　Life；　the　Universe　and　Everything？〃
　　〃Yes。〃
　　Both　of　the　men　had　been　trained　for　this　moment；　their　lives　had　been　a　preparation　for　it；　they　had　been　selected　at　birth　as　those　who　would　witness　the　answer；　but　even　so　they　found　themselves　gasping　and　squirming　like　excited　children。
　　〃And　you're　ready　to　give　it　to　us？〃　urged　Loonquawl。
　　〃I　am。〃
　　〃Now？〃
　　〃Now；〃　said　Deep　Thought。
　　They　both　licked　their　dry　lips。
　　〃Though　I　don't　think；〃　added　Deep　Thought；　〃that　you're　going　to　like　it。〃
　　〃Doesn't　matter！〃　said　Phouchg。　〃We　must　know　it！　Now！〃
　　〃Now？〃　inquired　Deep　Thought。
　　〃Yes！　Now。。。〃
　　〃Alright；〃　said　the　puter　and　settled　into　silence　again。　The　two　men　fidgeted。　The　tension　was　unbearable。
　　〃You're　really　not　going　to　like　it；〃　observed　Deep　Thought。
　　〃Tell　us！〃
　　〃Alright；〃　said　Deep　Thought。　〃The　Answer　to　the　Great　Question。。。〃
　　〃Yes。。。！〃
　　〃Of　Life；　the　Universe　and　Everything。。。〃　said　Deep　Thought。
　　〃Yes。。。！〃
　　〃Is。。。〃　said　Deep　Thought；　and　paused。
　　〃Yes。。。！〃
　　〃Is。。。〃
　　〃Yes。。。！！！。。。？〃
　　〃Forty…two；〃　said　Deep　Thought；　with　infinite　majesty　and　calm。
　　
　　
　　　Chapter　28
　　
　　It　was　a　long　time　before　anyone　spoke。
　　Out　of　the　corner　of　his　eye　Phouchg　could　see　the　sea　of　tense　expectant　faces　down　in　the　square　outside。
　　〃We're　going　to　get　lynched　aren't　we？〃　he　whispered。
　　〃It　was　a　tough　assignment；〃　said　Deep　Thought　mildly。
　　〃Forty…two！〃　yelled　Loonquawl。　〃Is　that　all　you've　got　to　show　for　seven　and　a　half　million　years'　work？〃
　　〃I　checked　it　very　thoroughly；〃　said　the　puter；　〃and　that　quite　definitely　is　the　answer。　I　think　the　problem；　to　be　quite　honest　with　you；　is　that　you've　never　actually　known　what　the　question　is。〃
　　〃But　it　was　the　Great　Question！　The　Ultimate　Question　of　Life；　the　Universe　and　Everything！〃　howled　Loonquawl。　
　　〃Yes；〃　said　Deep　Thought　with　the　air　of　one　who　suffers　fools　gladly；　〃but　what　actually　is　it？〃
　　A　slow　stupefied　silence　crept　over　the　men　as　they　stared　at　the　puter　and　then　at　each　other。
　　〃Well；　you　know；　it's　just　Everything。。。　Everything。。。〃　offered　Phouchg　weakly。
　　〃Exactly！〃　said　Deep　Thought。　〃So　once　you　do　know　what　the　question　actually　is；　you'll　know　what　the　answer　means。〃
　　〃Oh　terrific；〃　muttered　Phouchg　flinging　aside　his　notebook　and　wiping　away　a　tiny　tear。
　　〃Look；　alright；　alright；〃　said　Loonquawl；　〃can　you　just　please　tell　us　the　Question？〃
　　〃The　Ultimate　Question？〃
　　〃Yes！〃
　　〃Of　Life；　the　Universe；　and　Everything？〃
　　〃Yes！〃
　　Deep　Thought　pondered　this　for　a　moment。
　　〃Tricky；〃　he　said。
　　〃But　can　you　do　it？〃　cried　Loonquawl。
　　Deep　Thought　pondered　this　for　another　long　moment。
　　Finally：　〃No；〃　he　said　firmly。
　　Both　men　collapsed　on　to　their　chairs　in　despair。
　　〃But　I'll　tell　you　who　can；〃　said　Deep　Thought。
　　They　both　looked　up　sharply。
　　〃Who？〃
　　〃Tell　us！〃
　　Suddenly　Arthur　began　to　feel　his　apparently　non…existent　scalp　begin　to　crawl　as　he　found　himself　moving　slowly　but　inexorably　forward　towards　the　console；　but　it　was　only　a　dramatic　zoom　on　the　part　of　whoever　had　made　the　recording　he　assumed。
　　〃I　speak　of　none　other　than　the　puter　that　is　to　e　after　me；〃　intoned　Deep　Thought；　his　voice　regaining　its　accustomed　declamatory　tones。　〃A　puter　whose　merest　operational　parameters　I　am　not　worthy　to　calculate　…　and　yet　I　will　design　it　for　you。　A　puter　which　can　calculate　the　Question　to　the　Ultimate　Answer；　a　puter　of　such　infinite　and　subtle　plexity　that　organic　life　itself　shall　form　part　of　its　operational　matrix。　And　you　yourselves　shall　take　on　new　forms　and　go　down　into　the　puter　to　navigate　its　ten…million…year　program！　Yes！　I　shall　design　this　puter　for　you。　And　I　shall　name　it　also　unto　you。　And　it　shall　be　called。。。　The　Earth。〃
　　Phouchg　gaped　at　Deep　Thought。
　　〃What　a　dull　name；〃　he　said　and　great　incisions　appeared　down　the　length　of　his　body。　Loonquawl　too　suddenly　sustained　horrific　gashed　from　nowhere。　The　puter　console　blotched　and　cracked；　the　walls　flickered　and　crumbled　and　the　room　crashed　upwards　into　its　own　ceiling。。。
　　Slartibartfast　was　standing　in　front　of　Arthur　holding　the　two　wires。
　　〃End　of　the　tape；〃　he　explained。
　　
　　
　　　Chapter　29
　　
　　〃Zaphod！　Wake　up！〃
　　〃Mmmmmwwwwwerrrrr？〃
　　〃Hey　e　on；　wake　up。〃
　　〃Just　let　me　stick　to　what　I'm　good　at；　yeah？〃　muttered　Zaphod　and　rolled　away　from　the　voice　back　to　sleep。
　　〃