da.thehitchhikersguidetothegalaxy-第25部分

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ment　they　bee　fashionable　and　I　get　a　major　award。〃
　　He　turned　it　over　in　his　hands　with　a　shrug　and　tossed　it　aside　carelessly；　but　not　so　carelessly　that　it　didn't　land　on　something　soft。
　　〃In　this　replacement　Earth　we're　building　they've　given　me　Africa　to　do　and　of　course　I'm　doing　it　with　all　fjords　again　because　I　happen　to　like　them；　and　I'm　old　fashioned　enough　to　think　that　they　give　a　lovely　baroque　feel　to　a　continent。　And　they　tell　me　it's　not　equatorial　enough。　Equatorial！〃　He　gave　a　hollow　laugh。　〃What　does　it　matter？　Science　has　achieved　some　wonderful　things　of　course；　but　I'd　far　rather　be　happy　than　right　any　day。〃
　　〃And　are　you？〃
　　〃No。　That's　where　it　all　falls　down　of　course。〃
　　〃Pity；〃　said　Arthur　with　sympathy。　〃It　sounded　like　quite　a　good　lifestyle　otherwise。〃
　　Somewhere　on　the　wall　a　small　white　light　flashed。
　　〃e；〃　said　Slartibartfast；　〃you　are　to　meet　the　mice。　Your　arrival　on　the　planet　has　caused　considerable　excitement。　It　has　already　been　hailed；　so　I　gather；　as　the　third　most　improbable　event　in　the　history　of　the　Universe。〃
　　〃What　were　the　first　two？〃
　　〃Oh；　probably　just　coincidences；〃　said　Slartibartfast　carelessly。　He　opened　the　door　and　stood　waiting　for　Arthur　to　follow。
　　Arthur　glanced　around　him　once　more；　and　then　down　at　himself；　at　the　sweaty　dishevelled　clothes　he　had　been　lying　in　the　mud　in　on　Thursday　morning。
　　〃I　seem　to　be　having　tremendous　difficulty　with　my　lifestyle；〃　he　muttered　to　himself。
　　〃I　beg　your　pardon？〃　said　the　old　man　mildly。
　　〃Oh　nothing；〃　said　Arthur；　〃only　joking。〃
　　
　　
　　　Chapter　31
　　
　　It　is　of　course　well　known　that　careless　talk　costs　lives；　but　the　full　scale　of　the　problem　is　not　always　appreciated。
　　For　instance；　at　the　very　moment　that　Arthur　said　〃I　seem　to　be　having　tremendous　difficulty　with　my　lifestyle；〃　a　freak　wormhole　opened　up　in　the　fabric　of　the　space…time　continuum　and　carried　his　words　far　far　back　in　time　across　almost　infinite　reaches　of　space　to　a　distant　Galaxy　where　strange　and　warlike　beings　were　poised　on　the　brink　of　frightful　interstellar　battle。
　　The　two　opposing　leaders　were　meeting　for　the　last　time。
　　A　dreadful　silence　fell　across　the　conference　table　as　the　mander　of　the　Vl'hurgs；　resplendent　in　his　black　jeweled　battle　shorts；　gazed　levelly　at　the　G'Gugvuntt　leader　squatting　opposite　him　in　a　cloud　of　green　sweet…smelling　steam；　and；　with　a　million　sleek　and　horribly　beweaponed　star　cruisers　poised　to　unleash　electric　death　at　his　single　word　of　mand；　challenged　the　vile　creature　to　take　back　what　it　had　said　about　his　mother。
　　The　creature　stirred　in　his　sickly　broiling　vapour；　and　at　that　very　moment　the　words　I　seem　to　be　having　tremendous　difficulty　with　my　lifestyle　drifted　across　the　conference　table。
　　Unfortunately；　in　the　Vl'hurg　tongue　this　was　the　most　dreadful　insult　imaginable；　and　there　was　nothing　for　it　but　to　wage　terrible　war　for　centuries。
　　Eventually　of　course；　after　their　Galaxy　had　been　decimated　over　a　few　thousand　years；　it　was　realized　that　the　whole　thing　had　been　a　ghastly　mistake；　and　so　the　two　opposing　battle　fleets　settled　their　few　remaining　differences　in　order　to　launch　a　joint　attack　on　our　own　Galaxy　…　now　positively　identified　as　the　source　of　the　offending　remark。
　　For　thousands　more　years　the　mighty　ships　tore　across　the　empty　wastes　of　space　and　finally　dived　screaming　on　to　the　first　planet　they　came　across　…　which　happened　to　be　the　Earth　…　where　due　to　a　terrible　miscalculation　of　scale　the　entire　battle　fleet　was　accidentally　swallowed　by　a　small　dog。
　　Those　who　study　the　plex　interplay　of　cause　and　effect　in　the　history　of　the　Universe　say　that　this　sort　of　thing　is　going　on　all　the　time；　but　that　we　are　powerless　to　prevent　it。
　　〃It's　just　life；〃　they　say。
　　A　short　aircar　trip　brought　Arthur　and　the　old　Magrathean　to　a　doorway。　They　left　the　car　and　went　through　the　door　into　a　waiting　room　full　of　glass…topped　tables　and　perspex　awards。　Almost　immediately；　a　light　flashed　above　the　door　at　the　other　side　of　the　room　and　they　entered。
　　〃Arthur！　You're　safe！〃　a　voice　cried。
　　〃Am　I？〃　said　Arthur；　rather　startled。　〃Oh　good。〃
　　The　lighting　was　rather　subdued　and　it　took　him　a　moment　or　so　to　see　Ford；　Trillian　and　Zaphod　sitting　round　a　large　table　beautifully　decked　out　with　exotic　dishes；　strange　sweetmeats　and　bizarre　fruits。　They　were　stuffing　their　faces。
　　〃What　happened　to　you？〃　demanded　Arthur。
　　〃Well；〃　said　Zaphod；　attacking　a　boneful　of　grilled　muscle；　〃our　guests　here　have　been　gassing　us　and　zapping　our　minds　and　being　generally　weird　and　have　now　given　us　a　rather　nice　meal　to　make　it　up　to　us。　Here；〃　he　said　hoiking　out　a　lump　of　evil　smelling　meat　from　a　bowl；　〃have　some　Vegan　Rhino's　cutlet。　It's　delicious　if　you　happen　to　like　that　sort　of　thing。〃
　　〃Hosts？〃　said　Arthur。　〃What　hosts？　I　don't　see　any。。。〃
　　A　small　voice　said；　〃Wele　to　lunch；　Earth　creature。〃
　　Arthur　glanced　around　and　suddenly　yelped。
　　〃Ugh！〃　he　said。　〃There　are　mice　on　the　table！〃
　　There　was　an　awkward　silence　as　everyone　looked　pointedly　at　Arthur。
　　He　was　busy　staring　at　two　white　mice　sitting　in　what　looked　like　whisky　glasses　on　the　table。　He　heard　the　silence　and　glanced　around　at　everyone。
　　〃Oh！〃　he　said；　with　sudden　realization。　〃Oh；　I'm　sorry；　I　wasn't　quite　prepared　for。。。〃
　　〃Let　me　introduce　you；〃　said　Trillian。　〃Arthur　this　is　Benji　mouse。〃
　　〃Hi；〃　said　one　of　the　mice。　His　whiskers　stroked　what　must　have　been　a　touch　sensitive　panel　on　the　inside　of　the　whisky…glass　like　affair；　and　it　moved　forward　slightly。
　　〃And　this　is　Frankie　mouse。〃
　　The　other　mouse　said；　〃Pleased　to　meet　you；〃　and　did　likewise。
　　Arthur　gaped。
　　〃But　aren't　they。。。〃
　　〃Yes；〃　said　Trillian；　〃they　are　the　mice　I　brought　with　me　from　the　Earth。〃
　　She　looked　him　in　the　eye　and　Arthur　thought　he　detected　the　tiniest　resigned　shrug。
　　〃Could　you　pass　me　that　bowl　of　grated　Arcturan　Megadonkey？〃　she　said。
　　Slartibartfast　coughed　politely。
　　〃Er；　excuse　me；〃　he　said。
　　〃Yes；　thank　you　Slartibartfast；〃　said　Benji　mouse　sharply；　〃you　may　go。〃
　　〃What？　Oh。。。　er；　very　well；〃　said　the　old　man；　slightly　taken　aback；　〃I'll　just　go　and　get　on　with　some　of　my　fjords　then。〃
　　〃Ah；　well　in　fact　that　won't　be　necessary；〃　said　Frankie　mouse。　〃It　looks　very　much　as　if　we　won't　be　needing　the　new　Earth　any　longer。〃　He　swivelled　his　pink　little　eyes。　〃Not　now　that　we　have　found　a　native　of　the　planet　who　was　there　seconds　before　it　was　destroyed。〃
　　〃What？〃　cried　Slartibartfast；　aghast。　〃You　can't　mean　that！　I've　got　a　thousand　glaciers　poised　and　ready　to　roll　over　Africa！〃
　　〃Well　perhaps　you　can　take　a　quick　skiing　holiday　before　you　dismantle　them；〃　said　Frankie；　acidly。
　　〃Skiing　holiday！〃　cried　the　old　man。　〃Those　glaciers　are　works　of　art！　Elegantly　sculptured　contours；　soaring　pinnacles　of　ice；　deep　majestic　ravines！　It　would　be　sacrilege　to　go　skiing　on　high　art！〃
　　〃Thank　you　Slartibartfast；〃　said　Benji　firmly。　〃That　will　be　all。〃
　　〃Yes　sir；〃　said　the　old　man　coldly；　〃thank　you　very　much。　Well；　goodbye　Earthman；〃　he　said　to　Arthur；　〃hope　the　lifestyle　es　together。〃
　　With　a　brief　nod　to　the　rest　of　the　pany　he　turned　and　walked　sadly　out　of　the　room。
　　Arthur　stared　after　him　not　knowing　what　to　say。
　　〃Now；〃　said　Benji　mouse；　〃to　business。〃
　　Ford　and　Zaphod　clinked　their　glasses　together。
　　〃To　business！〃　they　said。
　　〃I　beg　your　pardon？〃　said　Benji。
　　Ford　looked　round。
　　〃Sorry；　I　thought　you　were　proposing　a　toast；〃　he　said。
　　The　two　mice　scuttled　impatiently　around　in　their　glass　transports。　Finally　they　posed　themselves；　and　Benji　moved　forward　to　address　Arthur。
　　〃Now；　Earth　creature；〃　he　said；　〃the　situation　we　have　in　effect　is　this。　We　have；　as　you　know；　been　more　or　less　running　your　planet　for　the　last　ten　million　years　in　order　to　find　this　wretched　thing　called　the　Ultimate　Question。〃
　　〃Why？〃　said　Arthur；　sharply。
　　〃No　…　we　already　thought　of　that　one；〃　said　Frankie　interrupting；　〃but　it　doesn't　fit　the　answer。　Why？　…　Forty…Two。。。　you　see；　it　doesn't　work。〃
　　〃No；〃　said　Arthur；　〃I　mean　why　have　you　been　doing　it？〃
　　〃Oh；　I　see；〃　said　Frankie。　〃Well；　eventually　just　habit　I　think；　to　be　brutally　honest。　And　this　is　more　or　less　the　point　…　we're　sick　to　the　teeth　with　the　whole　thing；　and　the　prospect　of　doing　it　all　over　again　on　account　of　those　whinnet…ridden　Vogons　quite　frankly　gives　me　the　screaming　heeby　jeebies；　you　know　what　I　mean？　It　was　by　the　merest　lucky　chance　that　Benji　and　I　finished　our　particular　job　and　left　the　planet　early　for　a　quick　holiday；　and　have　since　manipulated　our　way　back　to　Magrathea　by　the　good　offices　of　your　friends。〃
　　〃Magrathea　is　a　gateway　back　to　our　own　dimension；〃　put　in　Benji。
　　〃Since　when；〃　continued　his　murine　colleague；　〃we　have　had　an　offer　of　a　quite　enormously　fat　contract　to　do　the　5D　chat　show　and　lecture　circuit　back　in　our　own　dimensional　neck　of　the　woods；　and　we're　very　much　inclined　to　take　it。〃
　　〃I　would；　wouldn't　you　Ford？〃　said　Zaphod　promptingly。
　　〃Oh　yes；〃　said　Ford；　〃jump　at　it；　like　a　shot。〃
　　Arthur　glanced　at　them；　wondering　what　all　this　was　leading　up　to。
　　〃But　we've　got　to　have　a　product　you　see；〃　said　Frankie；　〃I　mean　ideally　we　still　need　the　Ultimate　Question　in　some　form　or　other。〃
　　Zaphod　leaned　forward　to　Arthur。
　　〃You　see；〃　he　said；　〃if　they're　just　sitting　there　in　the　studio　looking　very　relaxed　and；　you　know；　just　mentioning　that　they　happen　to　know　the　Answer　to　Life；　the　Universe　and　Everything；　and　then　eventually　have　to　admit　that　in　fact　it's　Forty…two；　then　the　show's　probably　quite　short。　No　follow…up；　you　see。〃
　　〃We　have　to　have　something　that　sounds　good；〃　said　Benji。
　　〃Something　that　sounds　good？〃　exclaimed　Arthur。　〃An　Ultimate　Question　that　sounds　good？　From　a　couple　of　mice？〃
　　The　mice　bristled。
　　〃Well；　I　mean；　yes　idealism；　yes　the　dignity　of　pure　research；　yes　the　pursuit　of　truth　in　all　its　forms；　but　there　es　a　point　I'm　afraid　where　you　begin　to　suspect　that　if　there's　any　real　truth；　it's　that　the　entire　multi…dimensional　infinity　of　th