da.thehitchhikersguidetothegalaxy-第26部分

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gin　to　suspect　that　if　there's　any　real　truth；　it's　that　the　entire　multi…dimensional　infinity　of　the　Universe　is　almost　certainly　being　run　by　a　bunch　of　maniacs。　And　if　it　es　to　a　choice　between　spending　yet　another　ten　million　years　finding　that　out；　and　on　the　other　hand　just　taking　the　money　and　running；　then　I　for　one　could　do　with　the　exercise；〃　said　Frankie。
　　〃But。。。〃　started　Arthur；　hopelessly。
　　〃Hey；　will　you　get　this；　Earthman；〃　interrupted　Zaphod。　〃You　are　a　last　generation　product　of　that　puter　matrix；　right；　and　you　were　there　right　up　to　the　moment　your　planet　got　the　finger；　yeah？〃
　　〃Er。。。〃
　　〃So　your　brain　was　an　organic　part　of　the　penultimate　configuration　of　the　puter　programme；〃　said　Ford；　rather　lucidly　he　thought。
　　〃Right？〃　said　Zaphod。
　　〃Well；〃　said　Arthur　doubtfully。　He　wasn't　aware　of　ever　having　felt　an　organic　part　of　anything。　He　had　always　seen　this　as　one　of　his　problems。
　　〃In　other　words；〃　said　Benji；　steering　his　curious　little　vehicle　right　over　to　Arthur；　〃there's　a　good　chance　that　the　structure　of　the　question　is　encoded　in　the　structure　of　your　brain　…　so　we　want　to　buy　it　off　you。〃
　　〃What；　the　question？〃　said　Arthur。
　　〃Yes；〃　said　Ford　and　Trillian。
　　〃For　lots　of　money；〃　said　Zaphod。
　　〃No；　no；〃　said　Frankie；　〃it's　the　brain　we　want　to　buy。〃
　　〃What！〃
　　〃I　thought　you　said　you　could　just　read　his　brain　electronically；〃　protested　Ford。
　　〃Oh　yes；〃　said　Frankie；　〃but　we'd　have　to　get　it　out　first。　It's　got　to　be　prepared。〃
　　〃Treated；〃　said　Benji。
　　〃Diced。〃
　　〃Thank　you；〃　shouted　Arthur；　tipping　up　his　chair　and　backing　away　from　the　table　in　horror。
　　〃It　could　always　be　replaced；〃　said　Benji　reasonably；　〃if　you　think　it's　important。〃
　　〃Yes；　an　electronic　brain；〃　said　Frankie；　〃a　simple　one　would　suffice。〃
　　〃A　simple　one！〃　wailed　Arthur。
　　〃Yeah；〃　said　Zaphod　with　a　sudden　evil　grin；　〃you'd　just　have　to　program　it　to　say　What？　and　I　don't　understand　and　Where's　the　tea？　…　who'd　know　the　difference？〃
　　〃What？〃　cried　Arthur；　backing　away　still　further。
　　〃See　what　I　mean？〃　said　Zaphod　and　howled　with　pain　because　of　something　that　Trillian　did　at　that　moment。
　　〃I'd　notice　the　difference；〃　said　Arthur。
　　〃No　you　wouldn't；〃　said　Frankie　mouse；　〃you'd　be　programmed　not　to。〃
　　Ford　made　for　the　door。
　　〃Look；　I'm　sorry；　mice　old　lads；〃　he　said。　〃I　don't　think　we've　got　a　deal。〃
　　〃I　rather　think　we　have　to　have　a　deal；〃　said　the　mice　in　chorus；　all　the　charm　vanishing　fro　their　piping　little　voices　in　an　instant。　With　a　tiny　whining　shriek　their　two　glass　transports　lifted　themselves　off　the　table；　and　swung　through　the　air　towards　Arthur；　who　stumbled　further　backwards　into　a　blind　corner；　utterly　unable　to　cope　or　think　of　anything。
　　Trillian　grabbed　him　desperately　by　the　arm　and　tried　to　drag　him　towards　the　door；　which　Ford　and　Zaphod　were　struggling　to　open；　but　Arthur　was　dead　weight　…　he　seemed　hypnotized　by　the　airborne　rodents　swooping　towards　him。
　　She　screamed　at　him；　but　he　just　gaped。
　　With　one　more　yank；　Ford　and　Zaphod　got　the　door　open。　On　the　other　side　of　it　was　a　small　pack　of　rather　ugly　men　who　they　could　only　assume　were　the　heavy　mob　of　Magrathea。　Not　only　were　they　ugly　themselves；　but　the　medical　equipment　they　carried　with　them　was　also　far　from　pretty。　They　charged。
　　So　…　Arthur　was　about　to　have　his　head　cut　open；　Trillian　was　unable　to　help　him；　and　Ford　and　Zaphod　were　about　to　be　set　upon　by　several　thugs　a　great　deal　heavier　and　more　sharply　armed　than　they　were。
　　All　in　all　it　was　extremely　fortunate　that　at　that　moment　every　alarm　on　the　planet　burst　into　an　earsplitting　din。
　　
　　
　　　Chapter　32
　　
　　〃Emergency！　Emergency！〃　blared　the　klaxons　throughout　Magrathea。　〃Hostile　ship　has　landed　on　planet。　Armed　intruders　in　section　8A。　Defence　stations；　defence　stations！〃
　　The　two　mice　sniffed　irritably　round　the　fragments　of　their　glass　transports　where　they　lay　shattered　on　the　floor。
　　〃Damnation；〃　muttered　Frankie　mouse；　〃all　that　fuss　over　two　pounds　of　Earthling　brain。〃　He　scuttled　round　and　about；　his　pink　eyes　flashing；　his　fine　white　coat　bristling　with　static。
　　〃The　only　thing　we　can　do　now；〃　said　Benji；　crouching　and　stroking　his　whiskers　in　thought；　〃is　to　try　and　fake　a　question；　invent　one　that　will　sound　plausible。〃
　　〃Difficult；〃　said　Frankie。　He　thought。　〃How　about　What's　yellow　and　dangerous？〃
　　Benji　considered　this　for　a　moment。　
　　〃No；　no　good；〃　he　said。　〃Doesn't　fit　the　answer。〃　
　　They　sank　into　silence　for　a　few　seconds。
　　〃Alright；〃　said　Benji。　〃What　do　you　get　if　you　multiply　six　by　seven？〃
　　〃No；　no；　too　literal；　too　factual；〃　said　Frankie；　〃wouldn't　sustain　the　punters'　interest。〃
　　Again　they　thought。
　　Then　Frankie　said：　〃Here's　a　thought。　How　many　roads　must　a　man　walk　down？〃
　　〃Ah；〃　said　Benji。　〃Aha；　now　that　does　sound　promising！〃　He　rolled　the　phrase　around　a　little。　〃Yes；〃　he　said；　〃that's　excellent！　Sounds　very　significant　without　actually　tying　you　down　to　meaning　anything　at　all。　How　many　roads　must　a　man　walk　down？　Forty…two。　Excellent；　excellent；　that'll　fox　'em。　Frankie　baby；　we　are　made！〃
　　They　performed　a　scampering　dance　in　their　excitement。
　　Near　them　on　the　floor　lay　several　rather　ugly　men　who　had　been　hit　about　the　head　with　some　heavy　design　awards。
　　Half　a　mile　away；　four　figures　pounded　up　a　corridor　looking　for　a　way　out。　They　emerged　into　a　wide　open…plan　puter　bay。　They　glanced　about　wildly。　
　　〃Which　way　do　you　reckon　Zaphod？〃　said　Ford。　
　　〃At　a　wild　guess；　I'd　say　down　here；〃　said　Zaphod；　running　off　down　to　the　right　between　a　puter　bank　and　the　wall。　As　the　others　started　after　him　he　was　brought　up　short　by　a　Kill…O…Zap　energy　bolt　that　cracked　through　the　air　inches　in　front　of　him　and　fried　a　small　section　of　adjacent　wall。
　　A　voice　on　a　loud　hailer　said；　〃OK；　Beeblebrox；　hold　it　right　there。　We've　got　you　covered。〃
　　〃Cops！〃　hissed　Zaphod；　and　span　around　in　a　crouch。　〃You　want　to　try　a　guess　at　all；　Ford？〃
　　〃OK；　this　way；〃　said　Ford；　and　the　four　of　them　ran　down　a　gangway　between　two　puter　banks。
　　At　the　end　of　the　gangway　appeared　a　heavily　armoured　and　space…suited　figure　waving　a　vicious　Kill…O…Zap　gun。
　　〃We　don't　want　to　shoot　you；　Beeblebrox！〃　shouted　the　figure。
　　〃Suits　me　fine！〃　shouted　Zaphod　back　and　dived　down　a　wide　gap　between　two　data　process　units。　
　　The　others　swerved　in　behind　him。　
　　〃There　are　two　of　them；〃　said　Trillian。　〃We're　cornered。〃
　　They　squeezed　themselves　down　in　an　angle　between　a　large　puter　data　bank　and　the　wall。
　　They　held　their　breath　and　waited。
　　Suddenly　the　air　exploded　with　energy　bolts　as　both　the　cops　opened　fire　on　them　simultaneously。
　　〃Hey；　they're　shooting　at　us；〃　said　Arthur；　crouching　in　a　tight　ball；　〃I　thought　they　said　they　didn't　want　to　do　that。〃　
　　〃Yeah；　I　thought　they　said　that；〃　agreed　Ford。　
　　Zaphod　stuck　a　head　up　for　a　dangerous　moment。　
　　〃Hey；〃　he　said；　〃I　thought　you　said　you　didn't　want　to　shoot　us！〃　and　ducked　again。　
　　They　waited。　
　　After　a　moment　a　voice　replied；　〃It　isn't　easy　being　a　cop！〃　
　　〃What　did　he　say？〃　whispered　Ford　in　astonishment。　
　　〃He　said　it　isn't　easy　being　a　cop。〃　
　　〃Well　surely　that's　his　problem　isn't　it？〃
　　〃I'd　have　thought　so。〃　
　　Ford　shouted　out；　〃Hey　listen！　I　think　we've　got　enough　problems　on　our　own　having　you　shooting　at　us；　so　if　you　could　avoid　laying　your　problems　on　us　as　well；　I　think　we'd　all　find　it　easier　to　cope！〃　
　　Another　pause；　and　then　the　loud　hailer　again。　
　　〃Now　see　here；　guy；〃　said　the　voice　on　the　loud　hailer；　〃you're　not　dealing　with　any　dumb　two…bit　trigger…pumping　morons　with　low　hairlines；　little　piggy　eyes　and　no　conversation；　we're　a　couple　of　intelligent　caring　guys　that　you'd　probably　quite　like　if　you　met　us　socially！　I　don't　go　around　gratuitously　shooting　people　and　then　bragging　about　it　afterwards　in　seedy　space…rangers　bars；　like　some　cops　I　could　mention！　I　go　around　shooting　people　gratuitously　and　then　I　agonize　about　it　afterwards　for　hours　to　my　girlfriend！〃
　　〃And　I　write　novels！〃　chimed　in　the　other　cop。　〃Though　I　haven't　had　any　of　them　published　yet；　so　I　better　warn　you；　I'm　in　a　meeeean　mood！〃
　　Ford's　eyes　popped　halfway　out　of　their　sockets。　〃Who　are　these　guys？〃　he　said。
　　〃Dunno；〃　said　Zaphod；　〃I　think　I　preferred　it　when　they　were　shooting。〃
　　〃So　are　you　going　to　e　quietly；〃　shouted　one　of　the　cops　again；　〃or　are　you　going　to　let　us　blast　you　out？〃
　　〃Which　would　you　prefer？〃　shouted　Ford。
　　A　millisecond　later　the　air　about　them　started　to　fry　again；　as　bolt　after　bolt　of　Kill…O…Zap　hurled　itself　into　the　puter　bank　in　front　of　them。
　　The　fusillade　continued　for　several　seconds　at　unbearable　intensity。
　　When　it　stopped；　there　were　a　few　seconds　of　near　quietness　ad　the　echoes　died　away。
　　〃You　still　there？〃　called　one　of　the　cops。
　　〃Yes；〃　they　called　back。
　　〃We　didn't　enjoy　doing　that　at　all；〃　shouted　the　other　cop。
　　〃We　could　tell；〃　shouted　Ford。
　　〃Now；　listen　to　this；　Beeblebrox；　and　you　better　listen　good！〃
　　〃Why？〃　shouted　Back　Zaphod。
　　〃Because；〃　shouted　the　cop；　〃it's　going　to　be　very　intelligent；　and　quite　interesting　and　humane！　Now　either　you　all　give　yourselves　up　now　and　let　us　beat　you　up　a　bit；　though　not　very　much　of　course　because　we　are　firmly　opposed　to　needless　violence；　or　we　blow　up　this　entire　planet　and　possibly　one　or　two　others　we　noticed　on　our　way　out　here！〃
　　〃But　that's　crazy！〃　cried　Trillian。　〃You　wouldn't　do　that！〃
　　〃Oh　yes　we　would；〃　shouted　the　cop；　〃wouldn't　we？〃　he　asked　the　other　one。
　　〃Oh　yes；　we'd　have　to；　no　question；〃　the　other　one　called　back。
　　〃But　why？〃　demanded　Trillian。
　　〃Because　there　are　some　things　you　have　to　do　even　if　you　are　an　enlightened　liberal　cop　who　knows　all　about　sensitivity　and　everything！〃
　　〃I　just　don't　believe　these　guys；〃　muttered　Ford；　shaking　his　head。
　　One　cop　shouted　to　the　other；　〃Shall　we　shoot　them　again　for　a　bit？〃　
　　〃Yeah；　why　not？〃　
　　They　let　fly　another　electric　barrage。
　　The　heat　and　noise　was　quite　fantastic。　Slowly；　the　puter　bank　was　beginn