lhamilton.thekillingdance-第64部分

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　I　stared　into　his　dark　blue　eyes。　They　were　lovely；　but　they　were　just　eyes。　I　shook　my　head。　〃I　can't。〃
　〃You　must　let　me　inside　your　mind；　as　you　let　me　inside　your　body。〃　He　spasmed　inside　of　me；　and　it　was　hard　to　think。
　〃I　don't　know　how；〃　I　said。
　〃Love　me；　Anita；　love　me。〃
　I　stared　down　at　him　and　did。　〃I　do　love　you。〃
　〃Then　let　me　in；　ma　petite。　Let　me　love　you。〃
　I　felt　it　like　a　drape　being　pulled　away。　I　felt　his　eyes；　and　they　were　suddenly　drowning　deep；　an　endless　midnight　blue　ocean　that　somehow　managed　to　burn。　I　was　aware　of　my　body。　I　could　feel　Jean…Claude　inside　my　body。　I　could　feel　him　like　a　brush　of　silk　inside　my　mind。
　The　orgasm　hit　me　unexpectedly；　opened　my　mind　to　him　more　than　I'd　planned。　Flung　me　wide　open　and　falling　into　his　eyes。　He　cried　out　underneath　me；　and　I　realized　I　could　still　feel　my　body；　feel　my　hands　on　his　chest；　feel　my　pelvis　riding　him。　I　opened　my　eyes　and　for　a　dizzying　second　I　saw　his　face　go　slack；　that　moment　of　total　abandon。
　I　collapsed　on　top　of　him；　trailing　my　hands　down　his　arms；　feeling　his　heart　pound　against　my　chest。　We　lay　quietly　for　a　few　moments；　resting；　holding　each　other；　then　I　slid　off　him；　curling　beside　him。
　〃You　can't　hold　me　with　your　eyes　anymore。　Even　if　I　let　you；　I　can　still　break　the　hold　at　any　time。〃
　〃Yes；　ma　petite。〃
　〃Does　that　bother　you？〃
　He　lifted　a　lock　of　my　hair；　running　it　between　his　fingers。　〃Let　us　say　it　does　not　bother　me　as　much　as　it　might　have　a　few　hours　ago。〃
　I　raised　up　on　one　elbow　so　I　could　see　his　face。　〃Meaning　what？　That　now　that　I've　had　sex　with　you；　I'm　not　dangerous？〃
　He　stared　up　at　me。　I　couldn't　read　his　eyes。　〃You　will　always　be　dangerous；　ma　petite。〃　He　raised　upward；　bending　at　the　waist；　bringing　his　lips　against　mine　in　a　gentle　kiss。　He　moved　back　from　me　just　enough　to　speak；　propping　himself　on　one　arm。　〃There　was　a　time　when　you　would　have　taken　my　heart　with　stake　or　gun。〃　He　took　my　hand　in　his　and　raised　it　towards　his　mouth。　〃Now　you　have　taken　it　with　these　delicate　hands　and　the　scent　of　your　body。〃　He　kissed　the　back　of　my　hand　ever　so　gently。　He　lay　back；　drawing　me　with　him。　〃e；　ma　petite；　enjoy　your　conquest。〃
　I　held　my　face　back；　avoiding　a　kiss。　〃You　aren't　conquered；〃　I　said。
　〃Nor；　ma　petite；　are　you。〃　He　ran　his　hands　up　my　back。　〃I　am　beginning　to　realize　that　you　will　never　be　conquered；　and　that　is　the　greatest　aphrodisiac　of　all。〃
　〃A　challenge　forever；〃　I　said。
　〃For　all　eternity；〃　he　whispered。　I　let　him　draw　me　down　into　a　kiss；　and　part　of　me　was　still　not　sure　if　I'd　done　a　good　thing　or　a　bad　thing。　But　just　for　tonight；　I　didn't　care。
　
　
　40
　
　I　woke　surrounded　by　bloodred　sheets；　naked；　and　alone。　Jean…Claude　had　kissed　me　good…bye　and　gone　to　his　coffin。　I　didn't　argue。　If　I'd　awakened　to　him　cold　and　dead　beside　me　。　。　。　Let's　just　say　I'd　had　all　the　shock　I　could　handle　from　my　boyfriends　for　awhile。
　Boyfriend。　That　was　a　word　for　someone　who　walked　you　to　your　class。　It　didn't　seem　the　right　word　after　last　night。　I　lay　there；　clutching　the　raw　silk　sheets　to　my　chest。　I　could　smell　Jean…Claude's　cologne　on　the　sheets；　on　my　skin；　but　more　than　that；　I　could　smell　him。　I　cuddled　that　scent　to　me；　rolled　in　it。　He　said　he　loved　me　and　for　a　time　last　night；　I　believed　him。　In　the　light　of　day；　I　wasn't　so　sure。　How　stupid　was　it　to　half…believe　the　vampire　loved　me？　Not　nearly　as　stupid　as　half…loving　him。　But　I　still　loved　Richard。　One　night　of　great　sex　didn't　change　that。　I　think　I　had　hoped　it　would。　Lust　may　die　that　easily；　but　love　doesn't。　True　love　is　a　much　harder　beast　to　kill。
　There　was　a　soft　knock　on　the　door。　I　had　to　reach　under　two　red　pillows　before　I　came　out　with　the　Firestar。　I　held　it　at　my　side　and　said；　〃e　in。〃
　A　man　entered　the　room。　He　was　tall；　muscular；　with　hair　shaved　on　either　side；　the　back　left　in　a　long　ponytail。
　I　pointed　the　gun　at　him　and　clutched　the　sheets　to　my　chest。　〃I　don't　know　you。〃
　His　eyes　went　wide；　his　voice　shook；　〃I'm　Ernie；　I'm　supposed　to　ask　if　you　want　breakfast。〃
　〃No；〃　I　said。　〃Now；　get　out。〃
　He　nodded；　eyes　on　the　gun。　He　hesitated　in　the　doorway；　even　staring　down　the　barrel　of　a　gun。　I　made　a　guess。
　〃What　did　Jean…Claude　tell　you　to　do？〃　It　was　amazing　how　many　people　were　more　afraid　of　Jean…Claude　than　of　me。　I　pointed　the　gun　at　the　ceiling。
　〃He　said　I　was　to　be　at　your　disposal；　anything　you　want。　He　said　I　was　to　make　that　very　clear　to　you。〃
　〃It's　clear。　Now；　get　out。〃
　He　still　hesitated。
　I'd　had　enough。　〃Ernie；　I　am　sitting　here　naked　in　a　bed；　and　I　don't　know　you。　Get　out　or　I'm　going　to　shoot　you　on　principle。〃　I　aimed　the　gun　at　him　for　dramatic　emphasis。
　Ernie　ran　for　it；　leaving　the　door　open。　Great。　Now　I　had　the　choice　of　walking　to　the　door　naked　and　closing　it；　or　draping　a　king…size　sheet　around　me　and　stumbling　to　the　door　and　closing　it。　Sheet。　I　was　sitting　on　the　edge　of　the　bed；　with　the　sheet　in　front　of　me　and　most　of　my　backside　not　covered；　gun　still　clutched　in　one　hand；　when　Richard　appeared　in　the　doorway。
　He　was　dressed　in　jeans；　white　T…shirt；　jeans　jacket；　and　white　tennis　shoes。　His　hair　foamed　around　his　face　in　a　mass　of　golden　brown　waves。　A　claw　had　caught　him　across　the　face；　leaving　angry　red　welts　that　chased　across　the　entire　left　side　of　his　face。　The　injury　looked　days　old。　It　had　to　have　happened　after　I　left　last　night。
　He　had　my　leather　coat　in　one　hand　and　the　Browning　in　the　other。　He　just　stood　there　in　the　doorway。
　I　sat　on　the　bed。　Neither　of　us　said　anything。　I　wasn't　slick　and　sophisticated　enough　for　this。　What　do　you　say　to　boyfriend　A　when　he　finds　you　naked　in　the　bed　of　boyfriend　B？　Especially　if　boyfriend　A　turned　into　a　monster　the　night　before　and　ate　someone。　I　bet　Miss　Manners　didn't　cover　this　at　all。
　〃You　slept　with　him；　didn't　you？〃　His　voice　was　low；　almost　soft；　as　if　he　was　trying　very　hard　not　to　yell。
　My　gut　tightened。　I　was　not　ready　for　this　fight。　I　was　armed；　but　I　was　naked。　I　would　have　traded　the　gun　for　clothes　in　a　hot　second。
　〃I　would　say　it's　not　what　it　looks　like；　but　it　is。〃　My　attempt　at　humor　did　not　work。
　He　strode　into　the　room　like　an　approaching　storm；　his　anger　riding　before　him　in　a　crackling　wave。　The　power　poured　over　me　and　I　wanted　to　scream。
　〃Stop　leaking　all　over　me。〃
　It　stopped　him；　almost　literally　in　midmotion。　〃What　are　you　talking　about？〃
　〃Your　power；　aura；　it's　raining　all　over　me。　Stop　it。〃
　〃Why？　Does　it　feel　good？　Until　you　panicked　last　night；　it　felt　good；　didn't　it？〃
　I　shoved　the　Firestar　under　the　pillow　and　stood；　clutching　the　sheet　to　me。　〃Yeah；　it　felt　good　until　you　shapeshifted　on　top　of　me。　I　was　covered　in　that　clear　gunk；　thick　with　it。〃　The　memory　was　new　enough　that　I　shuddered　and　looked　away　from　him。
　〃So　you　fucked　Jean…Claude。　Oh；　that　makes　perfect　sense。〃
　I　looked　at　him　and　felt　an　answering　anger。　If　he　wanted　to　fight；　he'd　e　to　the　right　place。　I　held　up　my　right　hand。　It　was　covered　in　a　wonderful　multicolored　bruise。　〃You　did　this　when　you　knocked　my　gun　away。〃
　〃There'd　been　enough　killing；　Anita。　No　one　else　had　to　die。〃
　〃Do　you　really　think　that　Raina　is　just　going　to　let　you　take　over？　No　way。　She'll　see　you　dead　first。〃
　He　shook　his　head；　his　face　set　in　stubborn　lines。　〃I　am　Ulfric　now。　I'm　in　control。　She'll　do　what　I　say。〃
　〃Nobody　bosses　Raina；　not　for　long。　Has　she　offered　to　fuck　you　yet？〃
　〃Yes；〃　he　said。
　The　way　he　said　it　stopped　me；　brought　my　breath　up　short。　〃Did　you；　after　I　left？〃
　〃It　would　serve　you　right　if　I　had。〃
　I　couldn't　meet　his　eyes　on　that　one。　〃If　you　make　her　lupa；　she'll　let　it　go。　She　just　doesn't　want　to　lose　her　power　base。〃　I　forced　myself　to　look　up；　to　meet　his　eyes。
　〃I　don't　want　Raina。〃　Something　passed　over　his　face　so　raw；　that　it　brought　tears　to　my　eyes。　〃I　want　you。〃
　〃You　can't　want　me　now；　not　after　last　night。〃
　〃Is　that　why　you　slept　with　Jean…Claude？　Did　you　think　it　would　keep　you　safe　from　me？〃
　〃I　wasn't　thinking　that　clearly；〃　I　said。
　He　laid　the　coat　and　the　gun　on　the　bed。　He　gripped　the　end　of　the　bed。　The　wood　groaned　under　the　strength　of　his　hands。　He　jerked　back　from　it　as　if　he　hadn't　meant　to　do　it。　〃You　slept　with　him　in　this　bed。　Right　here。〃　He　put　his　hand　over　his　eyes　as　if　he　was　trying　to　erase　an　image　inside　his　head。
　He　screamed　wordlessly。
　I　took　a　step　towards　him；　hand　out；　and　stopped。　How　could　I　fort　him？　What　could　I　say　to　make　this　better？　Not　a　damn　thing。
　He　jerked　at　the　bottom　sheet；　tugging　it　until　it　came　loose。　He　grabbed　the　top　mattress　and　pulled　it　off　the　bed。　He　grabbed　the　bottom　of　the　bed　and　lifted。
　I　screamed；　〃Richard！〃
　The　bed　was　antique　solid　oak；　and　he　tossed　it　on　its　side　like　it　was　a　toy。　He　pulled　the　bottom　sheet　off。　The　silk　tore　with　a　sound　like　skin　peeling　back。　He　was　on　his　knees　with　the　butchered　silk　in　his　hands。　He　held　his　hands　out　to　me　and　the　sheets　fell　away　like　blood。
　Richard　got　to　his　feet；　a　little　unsteady。　He　caught　himself　against　the　bed　and　took　a　step　towards　me。　The　Firestar　and　the　Browning　were　somewhere　on　the　floor　in　the　welter　of　red　silk　and　tossed　mattress。
　I　backed　away　until　I　hit　the　corner；　and　I　had　nowhere　else　to　go。　I　was　still　clutching　the　sheet　around　me　like　it　was　some　kind　of　protection。
　I　held　out　a　hand　towards　Richard；　as　if　that　would　help。　〃What　do　you　want　from　me；　Richard？　What　do　you　want　me　to　say？　I'm　sorry。　I　am　sorry　that　I　hurt　you。　I'm　sorry　that　I　can't　handle　what　I　saw　last　night。　I'm　sorry。〃
　He　stalked　towards　me；　not　saying　anything；　hands　balled　into　fists。　I　realized　that　I　was　afraid　of　Richard。　That　I　wasn't　sure　what　he'd　do　when　he　reached　me；　and　I　wasn't　armed。　Part　of　me　felt　like　I　deserved　to　be　hit　at　least　once；　that　I　owed　that　to　him。　But　after　seeing　what　he'd　done　to　the　bed；　I　wasn't　sure　I'd　survive　it。
　Richard　grabbed　the　front　of　the　sheet；　balling　it　in　his　fist；　jerking　me　against　him。　He　used　the　sheet　to　raise　me　to　tiptoe。　He　kissed　me。　For　a　second　I　froze。　Hitting；　yelling；　that　I'd　expected；　but　not　this。
　His　mouth　bruised　against　my　lips；　forcing　my　mouth　open。　The　moment　I　felt