a girl of the limberlost-第35部分
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who should have been the first confidant and helper; had
been the one to bring disappointment。 Small wonder Elnora
had come to hate her。
Mrs。 Comstock carefully closed and replaced the boxes;
and again stood looking around the room。 This time her
eyes rested on some books she did not remember having
seen before; so she picked up one and found that it was a
moth book。 She glanced over the first pages and was soon
eagerly reading。 When the text reached the classification
of species; she laid it down; took up another and read the
introductory chapters。 By that time her brain was in a
confused jumble of ideas about capturing moths with
differing baits and bright lights。
She went down stairs thinking deeply。 Being unable to
sit still and having nothing else to do she glanced at the
clock and began preparing supper。 The work dragged。
A chicken was snatched up and dressed hurriedly。 A spice
cake sprang into being。 Strawberries that had been
intended for preserves went into shortcake。 Delicious odours
crept from the cabin。 She put many extra touches
on the table and then commenced watching the road。
Everything was ready; but Elnora did not come。 Then began
the anxious process of trying to keep cooked food warm
and not spoil it。 The birds went to bed and dusk came。
Mrs。 Comstock gave up the fire and set the supper
on the table。 Then she went out and sat on the front…door
step watching night creep around her。 She started eagerly
as the gate creaked; but it was only Wesley Sinton coming。
〃Katharine; Margaret and Elnora passed where I was
working this afternoon; and Margaret got out of the
carriage and called me to the fence。 She told me what she
had done。 I've come to say to you that I am sorry。 She has
heard me threaten to do it a good many times; but I
never would have got it done。 I'd give a good deal if I
could undo it; but I can't; so I've come to tell you how
sorry I am。〃
〃You've got something to be sorry for;〃 said Mrs。 Comstock;
〃but likely we ain't thinking of the same thing。 It hurts
me less to know the truth; than to live in ignorance。
If Mag had the sense of a pewee; she'd told me long ago。
That's what hurts me; to think that both of you knew
Robert was not worth an hour of honest grief; yet you'd let
me mourn him all these years and neglect Elnora while I
did it。 If I have anything to forgive you; that is what it is。〃
Wesley removed his hat and sat on a bench。
〃Katharine;〃 he said solemnly; 〃nobody ever knows how
to take you。〃
〃Would it be asking too much to take me for having a few
grains of plain common sense?〃 she inquired。 〃You've known
all this time that Comstock got what he deserved;
when he undertook to sneak in an unused way across a
swamp; with which he was none too familiar。 Now I
should have thought that you'd figure that knowing the
same thing would be the best method to cure me of pining
for him; and slighting my child。〃
〃Heaven only knows we have thought of that; and
talked of it often; but we were both too big cowards。
We didn't dare tell you。〃
〃So you have gone on year after year; watching me
show indifference to Elnora; and yet a little horse…sense
would have pointed out to you that she was my salvation。
Why look at it! Not married quite a year。 All his vows
of love and fidelity made to me before the Almighty
forgotten in a few months; and a dance and a Light Woman so
alluring he had to lie and sneak for them。 What kind of a
prospect is that for a life? I know men and women。
An honourable man is an honourable man; and a liar is a liar;
both are born and not made。 One cannot change to the
other any more than that same old leopard can change
its spots。 After a man tells a woman the first untruth
of that sort; the others come piling thick; fast; and
mountain high。 The desolation they bring in their wake
overshadows anything I have suffered completely。 If he
had lived six months more I should have known him for what
he was born to be。 It was in the blood of him。 His father
and grandfather before him were fiddling; dancing people; but
I was certain of him。 I thought we could leave Ohio and
come out here alone; and I could so love him and interest
him in his work; that he would be a man。 Of all the fool;
fruitless jobs; making anything of a creature that begins
by deceiving her; is the foolest a sane woman ever undertook。
I am more than sorry you and Margaret didn't see your way
clear to tell me long ago。 I'd have found it out in a
few more months if he had lived; and I wouldn't have
borne it a day。 The man who breaks his vows to me once;
doesn't get the second chance。 I give truth and honour。
I have a right to ask it in return。 I am glad I understand
at last。 Now; if Elnora will forgive me; we will take a new
start and see what we can make out of what is left of life。
If she won't; then it will be my time to learn what suffering
really means。〃
〃But she will;〃 said Wesley。 〃She must! She can't
help it when things are explained。〃
〃I notice she isn't hurrying any about coming home。
Do you know where she is or what she is doing?〃
〃I do not。 But likely she will be along soon。 I must
go help Billy with the night work。 Good…bye; Katharine。
Thank the Lord you have come to yourself at last!〃
They shook hands and Wesley went down the road while
Mrs。 Comstock entered the cabin。 She could not swallow food。
She stood in the back door watching the sky for moths;
but they did not seem to be very numerous。 Her spirits
sank and she breathed unevenly。 Then she heard the
front screen。 She reached the middle door as Elnora
touched the foot of the stairs。
〃Hurry; and get ready; Elnora;〃 she said。 〃Your supper
is almost spoiled now。〃
Elnora closed the stair door behind her; and for the first
time in her life; threw the heavy lever which barred out
anyone from down stairs。 Mrs。 Comstock heard the thud;
and knew what it meant。 She reeled slightly and caught
the doorpost for support。 For a few minutes she clung
there; then sank to the nearest chair。 After a long time
she arose and stumbling half blindly; she put the food in
the cupboard and covered the table。 She took the lamp
in one hand; the butter in the other; and started to the
spring house。 Something brushed close by her face; and she
looked just in time to see a winged creature rise above the
cabin and sail away。
〃That was a night bird;〃 she muttered。 As she stopped
to set the butter in the water; came another thought。
〃Perhaps it was a moth!〃 Mrs。 Comstock dropped the
butter and hurried out with the lamp; she held it high
above her head and waited until her arms ached。
Small insects of night gathered; and at last a little
dusty miller; but nothing came of any size。
〃I must go where they are; if I get them;〃 muttered
Mrs。 Comstock。
She went to the barn after the stout pair of high boots
she used in feeding stock in deep snow。 Throwing these
beside the back door she climbed to the loft over the spring
house; and hunted an old lard oil lantern and one of first
manufacture for oil。 Both these she cleaned and filled。
She listened until everything up stairs had been still for
over half an hour。 By that time it was past eleven o'clock。
Then she took the lantern from the kitchen; the two old
ones; a handful of matches; a ball of twine; and went from
the cabin; softly closing the door。
Sitting on the back steps; she put on the boots; and then
stood gazing into the perfumed June night; first in the
direction of the woods on her land; then toward the Limberlost。
Its outline was so dark and forbidding she shuddered
and went down the garden; following the path toward the
woods; but as she neared the pool her knees wavered and
her courage fled。 The knowledge that in her soul she was
now glad Robert Comstock was at the bottom of it made a
coward of her; who fearlessly had mourned him there;
nights untold。 She could not go on。 She skirted the
back of the garden; crossed a field; and came out on
the road。 Soon she reached the Limberlost。 She hunted
until she found the old trail; then followed it stumbling
over logs and through clinging vines and grasses。
The heavy boots clumped on her feet; overhanging branches
whipped her face and pulled her hair。 But her eyes were
on the sky as she went straining into the night; hoping to
find signs of a living creature on wing。
By and by she began to see the wavering flight of something
she thought near the right size。 She had no idea
where she was; but she stopped; lighted a lantern and
hung it as high as she could reach。 A little distance away
she placed the second and then the third。 The objects
came nearer and sick with disappointment she saw that
they were bats。 Crouching in the damp swamp grasses;
without a thought of snakes or venomous insects; she
waited; her eyes roving from lantern to lantern。 Once she
thought a creature of high flight dropped near the lard oil
light; so she arose breathlessly waiting; but either it
passed or it was an illusion。 She glanced at the old lantern;
then at the new; and was on her feet in an instant creeping close。
Something large as a small bird was fluttering around。
Mrs。 Comstock began to perspire; while her hand shook wildly。
Closer she crept and just as she reached for it; something
similar swept past and both flew away together。
Mrs。 Comstock set her teeth and stood shivering。 For a
long time the locusts rasped; the whip…poor…wills cried and
a steady hum of night life throbbed in her ears。 Away in
the sky she saw something coming when it was no larger
than a falling leaf。 Straight toward the light it flew。
Mrs。 Comstock began to pray aloud。
〃This way; O Lord! Make it come this way! Please!
O Lord; send it lower!〃