rz.thegunsofavalon-第14部分

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it　had　fully　returned；　so　her　speech　was　open　as　to　people　and　things。　Then　Random　showed　up；　fleeing　from　something　…〃
　〃Fleeing？　From　what？　Why？〃
　〃From　some　strange　creatures　out　of　Shadow。　I　never　found　out　why。〃
　〃Interesting；〃　he　said；　and　I　had　to　agree。　I　had　thought　of　it　often；　back　in　my　cell；　wondering　just　why　Random　had　entered；　stage　left；　pursued　by　Furies；　in　the　first　place。　From　the　moment　we　met　until　the　moment　we　parted；　we　had　been　in　some　sort　of　peril；　I　had　been　preoccupied　with　my　own　troubles　and　he　had　volunteered　nothing　concerning　his　abrupt　appearance。　It　had　crossed　my　mind；　of　course；　at　the　time　of　his　arrival；　but　I　was　uncertain　as　to　whether　it　was　something　of　which　I　might　be　expected　to　have　knowledge；　and　I　let　it　go　at　that。　Events　then　submerged　it　until　later　in　my　cell　and　again　the　present　moment。　Interesting？　Indeed。　Also；　troubling。
　〃I　managed　to　take　in　Random　as　to　my　condition；〃　I　continued。　〃He　believed　I　was　seeking　the　throne；　when　all　that　I　was　consciously　seeking　was　my　memory。　He　agreed　to　help　me　return　to　Amber；　and　he　succeeded　in　getting　me　back。　Well；　almost；〃　I　corrected。　〃We　wound　up　in　Rebma。　By　then；　I　had　told　Random　my　true　condition；　and　he　proposed　my　walking　the　Pattern　again　as　a　means　of　restoring　it　fully。　The　opportunity　was　there；　and　I　took　it。　It　proved　effective；　and　I　used　the　power　of　the　Pattern　to　transport　myself　into　Amber。〃　He　smiled。
　〃At　this　point。　Random　must　have　been　a　very　unhappy　man；〃　he　said。
　〃He　was　not　exactly　singing　with　glee；〃　I　said。　〃He　had　accepted　Moire's　judgment；　that　he　wed　a　woman　of　her　choosing　…　a　blind　girl　named　Vialle　…　and　remain　there　with　her　for　at　least　a　year。　I　left　him　behind；　and　I　later　learned　that　he　had　done　this　thing。　Deirdre　was　also　there。　We　had　encountered　her　along　the　way；　in　flight　from　Amber；　and　the　three　of　us　had　entered　Rebma　together。　She　remained　behind；　also。〃
　I　finished　my　wine　and　Benedict　nodded　toward　the　bottle。　It　was　almost　empty；　though；　so　he　fetched　a　fresh　bottle　from　his　chest　and　we　filled　our　cups。　I　took　a　long　swallow。　It　was　better　wine　than　the　previous。　Must　have　been　his　private　stock。
　〃In　the　palace；〃　I　went　on；　〃I　made　my　way　to　the　library；　where　I　obtained　a　pack　of　the　Tarots。　This　was　my　main　reason　for　venturing　there。　I　was　surprised　by　Eric　before　I　could　do　much　else　and　we　fought；　there　in　the　library。　I　succeeded　in　wounding　him　and　believe　I　could　have　finished　him；　save　that　reinforcements　arrived　and　I　was　forced　to　flee。　I　contacted　Bleys　then；　who　gave　me　passage　to　him　in　Shadow。　You　may　have　heard　the　rest　from　your　own　sources。　How　Bleys　and　I　threw　in　together；　assaulted　Amber；　lost。　He　fell　from　the　face　of　Kolvir。　I　tossed　him　my　Tarots　and　he　caught　them。　I　understand　that　his　body　was　never　found。　But　it　was　a　long　way　down　…　though　I　believe　the　tide　was　high　by　then。　I　do　not　know　whether　he　died　that　day　or　not。〃
　〃Neither　do　I；〃　said　Benedict。
　〃So　I　was　imprisoned　and　Eric　was　crowned。　I　was　prevailed　upon　to　assist　in　the　coronation；　despite　a　small　demurrer　on　my　part。　I　did　succeed　in　crowning　myself　before　that　bastard　…　genealogically　speaking　…　had　it　back　and　placed　it　on　his　own　head。　Then　he　had　me　blinded　and　sent　to　the　dungeons。〃
　He　leaned　forward　and　studied　my　face。　〃Yes；〃　he　said；　〃I　had　heard　that。　How　was　it　done？〃
　〃Hot　irons；〃　I　said；　wincing　involuntarily　and　repressing　an　impulse　to　clutch　at　my　eyes。　〃I　passed　out　partway　through　the　ordeal。〃
　〃Was　there　actual　contact　with　the　eyeballs？〃
　〃Yes〃　I　said。　〃I　think　so。〃
　〃And　how　long　did　the　regeneration　take？〃
　〃It　was　close　to　four　years　before　I　could　see　again；〃　I　said；　〃and　my　vision　is　just　getting　back　to　normal　now。　So　…　about　five　years　altogether；　I　would　say。〃
　He　leaned　back；　sighed；　and　smiled　faintly。
　〃Good；〃　he　said。　〃You　give　me　some　small　hope。　Others　of　us　have　lost　portions　of　their　anatomy　and　experienced　regeneration　also；　of　course；　but　I　never　lost　anything　significant　…　until　now。〃
　〃Oh　yes；〃　I　said。　〃It　is　a　most　impressive　record。　I　reviewed　it　regularly　for　years。　A　collection　of　bits　and　pieces；　many　of　them　forgotten　I　daresay；　but　by　the　principals　and　myself：　fingertips；　toes；　ear　lobes。　I　would　say　that　there　is　hope　for　your　arm。　Not　for　a　long　while；　of　course。
　〃It　is　a　good　thing　that　you　are　ambidextrous；〃　I　added。
　His　smile　went　on　and　off　and　he　took　a　drink　of　wine。　No；　he　was　not　ready　to　tell　me　what　had　happened　to　him。
　I　took　another　sip　of　my　own。　I　did　not　want　to　tell　him　about　Dworkin。　I　had　wanted　to　save　Dworkin　as　something　of　an　ace　in　the　hole。　None　of　us　understood　the　man's　full　power；　and　he　was　obviously　mad。　But　he　could　be　manipulated。　Even　Dad　had　apparently　e　to　fear　him　after　a　time；　and　had　had　him　locked　away。　What　was　it　that　he　had　told　me　back　in　my　cell？　That　Dad　had　had　him　confined　after　he　had　announced　his　discovery　of　a　means　for　destroying　all　of　Amber。　If　this　was　not　just　the　rambling　of　a　psychotic　and　was　the　real　reason　for　his　being　where　he　was；　then　Dad　had　been　far　more　generous　that　I　would　have　been。　The　man　was　too　dangerous　to　let　live。　On　the　other　hand；　though；　Dad　had　been　trying　to　cure　him　of　his　condition。　Dworkin　had　spoken　of　doctors；　men　he　had　frightened　away　or　destroyed　when　he　had　turned　his　powers　against　them。　Most　of　my　memories　of　him　were　of　a　wise；　kindly　old　man；　quite　devoted　to　Dad　and　the　rest　of　the　family。　It　would　be　difficult　readily　to　destroy　someone　like　that　if　there　was　some　hope。　He　had　been　confined　to　what　should　have　been　inescapable　quarters。　Yet　when　he　had　grown　bored　one　day；　he　had　simply　walked　out。　No　man　can　walk　through　Shadow　in　Amber；　the　very　absence　of　Shadow；　so　he　had　done　something　I　did　not　understand；　something　involving　the　principle　behind　the　Trumps；　and　had　left　his　quarters。　Before　he　returned　to　them；　I　managed　to　persuade　him　to　provide　me　with　a　similar　exit　from　my　own　cell；　one　that　transported　me　to　the　lighthouse　of　Cabra；　where　I　recovered　somewhat；　then　set　out　upon　the　voyage　that　took　me　to　Lorraine。　Most　likely　he　was　still　undetected。　As　I　understood　it；　our　family　had　always　possessed　special　powers；　but　it　was　he　who　analyzed　them　and　formalized　their　functions　by　means　of　the　Pattern　and　the　Tarots。　He　had　often　tried　to　discuss　the　matter；　but　it　had　seemed　awfully　abstract　and　boring　to　most　of　us。　We　are　a　very　pragmatic　family；　damn　it！　Brand　was　the　only　one　who　seemed　to　have　had　any　interest　in　the　subject。　And　Fiona。　I　had　almost　forgotten。　Sometimes　Fiona　would　listen。　And　Dad。　Dad　knew　an　awful　lot　of　things　that　he　never　discussed。　He　never　had　much　time　for　us；　and　there　were　so　many　things　about　him　that　we　did　not　know。　But　he　was　probably　as　well　versed　as　Dworkin　in　whatever　principles　were　involved。　Their　main　difference　was　one　of　application。　Dworkin　was　an　artist。　I　do　not　really　know　what　Dad　was。　He　never　encouraged　intimacy；　though　he　was　not　an　unkind　father。　Whenever　he　took　note　of　us；　he　was　quite　lavish　with　gifts　and　diversions。　But　he　left　our　upbringing　to　various　members　of　his　court。　He　tolerated　us；　I　feel；　as　occasionally　inevitable　consequences　of　passion。　Actually；　I　am　quite　surprised　that　the　family　is　not　much　larger。　The　thirteen　of　us；　plus　two　brothers　and　a　sister　I　knew　who　were　now　dead；　represent　close　to　fifteen　hundred　years　of　parental　production。　There　had　been　a　few　others　also；　of　whom　I　had　heard；　long　before　us；　who　had　not　survived。　Not　a　tremendous　batting　average　for　so　lusty　a　liege；　but　then　none　of　us　had　proved　excessively　fertile　either。　As　soon　as　we　were　able　to　fend　for　ourselves　and　walk　in　Shadow；　Dad　had　encouraged　us　to　do　so；　find　places　where　we　would　be　happy　and　settle　there。　This　was　my　connection　with　the　Avalon　which　is　no　more。　So　far　as　I　knew；　Dad's　own　origins　were　known　only　to　himself。　I　had　never　encountered　anyone　whose　memory　stretched　back　to　a　time　when　there　had　been　no　Oberon。　Strange？　Not　to　know　where　one's　own　father　es　from；　when　one　has　had　centuries　in　which　to　exercise　one's　curiosity？　Yes。　But　he　was　secretive；　powerful；　shrewd　…　traits　we　all　possess　to　some　degree。　He　wanted　us　well　situated　and　satisfied；　I　feel　…　but　never　so　endowed　as　to　present　a　threat　to　his　own　reign。　There　was　in　him；　I　guessed；　an　element　of　uneasiness；　a　not　unjustifiable　sense　of　caution　with　respect　to　our　learning　too　much　concerning　himself　and　times　long　gone　by。　I　do　not　believe　that　he　had　ever　truly　envisioned　a　time　when　he　would　not　rule　in　Amber。　He　occasionally　spoke；　jokingly　or　grumblingly；　of　abdication。　But　I　always　felt　this　to　be　a　calculated　thing；　to　see　what　responses　it　would　provoke。　He　must　have　realized　the　state　of　affairs　his　passing　would　produce；　but　refused　to　believe　that　the　situation　would　ever　occur。　And　no　one　of　us　really　knew　all　of　his　duties　and　responsibilities；　his　secret　mitments。　As　distasteful　as　I　found　the　admission；　I　was　ing　to　feel　that　none　of　us　was　really　fit　to　take　the　throne。　I　would　have　liked　to　blame　Dad　for　this　inadequacy；　but　unfortunately　I　had　known　Freud　too　long　not　to　feel　self…conscious　about　it。　Also；　I　was　now　beginning　to　wonder　about　the　validity　of　any　of　our　claims。　If　there　had　been　no　abdication　and　he　did　indeed　still　live；　then　the　best　of　us　could　really　hope　to　do　was　sit　in　regency。　I　would　not　look　forward　…　especially　from　the　throne　…　to　his　returning　and　finding　things　otherwise。　Let's　face　it；　I　was　afraid　of　him；　and　not　without　cause。　Only　a　fool　does　not　fear　a　genuine　power　that　he　does　not　understand。　But　whether　the　title　be　king　or　regent；　my　claim　on　it　was　stronger　than　Eric's　and　I　was　still　determined　to　have　it。　If　a　power　out　of　Dad's　dark　past；　which　none　of　us　really　understood；　could　serve　to　secure　it；　and　if　Dworkin　did　represent　such　a　power；　then　he　must　remain　hidden　until　he　could　be　employed　on　my　behalf。
　Even；　I　asked　myself；　if　the　power　he　represented　was　the　power　to　destroy　Amber　itself；　and　with　it　to　shatter　the　shadow　worlds　and　capsize　all　of　existence　as　I　understood　it？
　Especially　then；　I　answered　myself。　For　who　else　could　be　trusted　with　such　power？　We　are　indeed　a　very