rz.thegunsofavalon-第25部分

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　Good　enough。　I　tugged　gently　on　the　reins　and　the　horses　got　the　idea　and　halted。　I　put　on　the　brake；　as　we　were　still　on　an　incline；　and　located　a　water　bottle。
　〃Here！〃　said　Ganelon；　as　I　drank。　〃Leave　a　drop　for　me！〃　I　passed　the　bottle　back　to　him。
　〃You　are　taking　over　now；〃　I　told　him。　〃I　have　to　get　some　sleep。〃
　He　drank　for　half　a　minute；　then　let　out　an　explosive　exhalation。
　〃Right；〃　he　said；　swinging　himself　over　the　edge　of　the　wagon　and　down。　〃But　bide　a　moment。　Nature　summons。〃
　He　stepped　off　the　road；　and　I　crawled　back　onto　the　bed　of　the　wagon　and　stretched　out　where　he　had　lain；　folding　my　cloak　into　a　pillow。
　Moments　later；　I　heard　him　climb　onto　the　driver's　seat；　and　there　was　a　jolt　as　he　released　the　brake。　I　heard　him　cluck　his　tongue　and　snap　the　reins　lightly。
　〃Is　it　morning？〃　he　called　back　to　me。
　〃Yes。〃
　〃God！　I've　slept　all　day　and　all　night！〃
　I　chuckled。
　〃No。　I　did　a　little　shadow…shifting；〃　I　said。　〃You　only　slept　six　or　seven　hours。〃
　〃I　don't　understand。　But　never　mind；　I　believe　you。　Where　are　we　now？〃
　〃Still　heading　northeast；〃　I　said；　〃around　twenty　miles　out　of　the　city　and　maybe　a　dozen　or　so　from　Benedict's　place。　We　have　moved　through　Shadow；　also。〃
　〃What　am　I　to　do　now？〃
　〃Just　keep　following　the　road。　We　need　the　distance。〃
　〃Could　Benedict　still　reach　us？〃
　〃I　think　so。　That's　why　we　can't　give　the　horses　their　rest　yet。〃
　〃All　right。　Is　there　anything　special　I　should　be　alert　for？〃
　〃No。〃
　〃When　should　I　raise　you？〃
　〃Never。〃
　He　was　silent　then；　and　as　I　waited　for　my　consciousness　to　be　consumed；　I　thought　of　Dara；　of　course。　I　had　been　thinking　of　her　on　and　off　all　day。
　The　thing　had　been　quite　unpremeditated　on　my　part。　I　had　not　even　thought　of　her　as　a　woman　until　she　came　into　my　arms　and　revised　my　thinking　on　the　subject。　A　moment　later；　and　my　spinal　nerves　took　over；　reducing　much　of　what　passes　for　cerebration　down　to　its　basics；　as　Freud　had　once　said　to　me。　I　could　not　blame　it　on　the　alcohol；　as　I　had　not　had　that　much　and　it　had　not　affected　me　especially。　Why　did　I　want　to　blame　it　on　anything？　Because　I　felt　somewhat　guilty；　that　was　why。　She　was　too　distant　a　relation　for　me　to　really　think　of　her　as　one。　That　was　not　it。　I　did　not　feel　I　had　taken　unfair　advantage　of　her；　for　she　had　known　what　she　was　doing　when　she　came　looking　for　me。　It　was　the　circumstances　that　made　me　question　my　own　motives；　even　in　the　midst　of　things。　I　had　wanted　to　do　more　than　simply　win　her　confidence　and　a　measure　of　friendship　when　I　had　first　spoken　with　her　and　taken　her　on　that　walk　into　Shadow。　I　was　trying　to　alienate　some　of　her　loyalty；　trust；　and　affection　from　Benedict　and　transfer　it　to　myself。　I　had　wanted　her　on　my　side；　as　a　possible　ally　in　what　might　bee　an　enemy　camp。　I　had　hoped　to　be　able　to　use　her；　should　the　need　arise　when　the　going　got　rough。　All　this　was　true。　But　I　did　not　want　to　believe　that　I　had　had　her　as　I　did　just　to　further　this　end。　I　suspected　there　was　some　truth　to　it；　though；　and　it　made　me　feel　unfortable　and　more　than　a　little　ignoble。　Why？　I　had　done　plenty　of　things　in　my　time　that　many　would　consider　much　worse；　and　I　was　not　especially　troubled　by　these。　I　wrestled　with　it；　not　liking　to　admit　it　but　already　knowing　the　answer。　I　cared　for　the　girl。　It　was　as　simple　as　that。　It　was　different　from　the　friendship　I　had　felt　for　Lorraine；　with　its　element　of　world…weary　understanding　between　two　veterans　about　it；　or　the　air　of　casual　sensuality　that　had　existed　briefly　between　Moire　and　myself　back　before　I　had　taken　the　Pattern　for　the　second　time。　It　was　quite　different。　I　had　known　her　so　briefly　that　it　was　most　illogical。　I　was　a　man　with　centuries　behind　me。　Yet。。。　I　had　not　felt　this　way　in　centuries。　I　had　forgotten　the　feeling；　until　now。　I　did　not　want　to　be　in　love　with　her。　Not　now。　Later；　perhaps。　Better　yet；　not　at　all。　She　was　all　wrong　for　me。　She　was　a　child。　Everything　that　she　would　want　to　do；　everything　that　she　would　find　new　and　fascinating；　I　had　already　done。　No；　it　was　all　wrong。　I　had　no　business　falling　in　love　with　her。　I　should　not　let　myself。。。
　Ganelon　hummed　some　bawdy　tune；　badly。　The　wagon　jounced　and　creaked；　took　a　turn　uphill。　The　sun　fell　upon　my　face；　and　I　covered　my　eyes　with　my　forearm。　Somewhere　thereabout；　oblivion　fixed　its　grip　and　squeezed。
　
　***
　
　When　I　awoke；　it　was　past　noon　and　I　was　feeling　grimy。　I　took　a　long　drink　of　water；　poured　some　in　the　palm　of　my　hand；　and　rubbed　it　in　my　eyes。　I　bed　my　hair　with　my　fingers。　I　took　a　look　at　our　surroundings。
　There　was　greenery　about　us；　small　stands　of　trees　and　open　spaces　where　tall　grasses　grew。　It　was　still　a　dirt　road　that　we　traveled；　hard…packed　and　fairly　smooth。　The　sky　was　clear；　but　for　a　few　small　clouds；　and　shade　alternated　with　sunlight　fairly　regularly。　There　was　a　light　breeze。
　〃Back　among　the　living。　Good！〃　said　Ganelon；　as　I　climbed　over　the　front　wall　and　took　a　seat　beside　him。
　〃The　horses　are　getting　tired；　Corwin；　and　I'd　like　to　stretch　my　legs　a　bit；〃　he　said。　〃I'm　also　getting　very　hungry。　Aren't　you？〃
　〃Yes。　Pull　off　into　that　shady　place　to　the　left　and　we'll　stop　awhile。〃
　〃I　would　like　to　go　on　a　bit　farther　than　that；〃　he　said。
　〃For　any　special　reason？〃
　〃Yes。　I　want　to　show　you　something。〃
　〃Go　ahead。〃
　We　clopped　along　for　perhaps　a　half　a　mile；　then　came　to　a　bend　in　the　road　that　took　us　in　a　more　northerly　direction。　Before　very　long　we　came　to　a　hill；　and　when　we　had　mounted　it　there　was　another　hill；　leading　even　higher。
　〃How　much　farther　do　you　want　to　go？〃　I　said。
　〃Let's　take　this　next　hill；〃　he　replied。　〃We　might　be　able　to　see　it　from　up　there。〃
　〃All　right。〃
　The　horses　strained　against　the　steepness　of　that　second　hill；　and　I　got　out　and　pushed　from　behind。　When　we　finally　reached　the　top；　I　felt　even　grimier　from　the　mixture　of　sweat　and　dust；　but　I　was　fully　awake　once　more。　Ganelon　reined　in　the　horses　and　put　on　the　brake。　He　climbed　back　in　the　wagon　and　up　onto　a　crate　then。　He　stood；　facing　to　the　left；　and　shaded　his　eyes。
　〃e　up　here；　Corwin；〃　he　called。
　I　climbed　over　the　tailgate　and　he　squatted　and　extended　a　hand。　I　took　it；　and　he　helped　me　up　onto　the　crate；　where　I　stood　beside　him。　He　pointed；　and　I　followed　the　gesture。
　Perhaps　three…quarters　of　a　mile　distant；　running　from　left　to　right　for　as　far　as　I　could　see；　was　a　wide；　black　band。　We　were　several　hundred　yards　higher　than　the　thing　and　had　a　decent　view　of；　I　would　say；　half　a　mile　of　its　length。　It　was　several　hundred　feet　across；　and　though　it　curved　and　turned　twice　that　I　could　see；　its　width　appeared　to　remain　constant。　There　were　trees　within　it；　and　they　were　totally　black。　There　seemed　to　be　some　movement。　I　could　not　say　what　it　was。　Perhaps　it　was　only　the　wind　rippling　the　black　grasses　near　its　edge。　But　there　was　also　a　definite　sensation　of　flowing　within　it；　like　currents　in　a　flat；　dark　river。
　〃What　is　it？〃　I　said。
　〃I　thought　perhaps　you　could　tell　me；〃　Ganelon　replied。　〃I　had　thought　it　a　part　of　your　shadow…sorceries。〃
　I　shook　my　head　slowly。
　〃I　was　quite　drowsy；　but　I　would　remember　if　I　had　arranged　for　anything　that　strange　to　occur。　How　did　you　know　it　was　there？〃
　〃We　skirted　it　several　times　as　you　slept；　then　edged　away　again。　I　did　not　like　the　feeling　at　all。　It　was　a　very　familiar　one。　Does　it　not　remind　you　of　something？〃
　〃Yes。　Yes；　it　does。　Unfortunately。〃
　He　nodded。
　〃It's　like　that　damned　Circle　back　in　Lorraine。　That's　what　it's　like。〃
　〃The　black　road。。。〃　I　said。
　〃What？〃
　〃The　black　road；〃　I　repeated。　〃I　did　not　know　what　she　was　referring　to　when　she　mentioned　it；　but　now　I　begin　to　understand。　This　is　not　good　at　all。〃
　〃Another　ill　omen？〃
　〃I　am　afraid　so。〃
　He　cursed；　then；　〃Will　it　cause　us　any　immediate　trouble？〃　he　asked。
　〃I　don't　believe　so；　but　I　am　not　certain。〃
　He　climbed　down　from　the　crate　and　I　followed。
　〃Let's　find　some　forage　for　the　horses　then；〃　he　said；　〃and　tend　to　our　own　bellies　as　well。〃
　〃Yes。〃
　We　moved　forward　and　he　took　the　reins。　We　found　a　good　spot　at　the　foot　of　the　hill。
　We　tarried　there　for　the　better　part　of　an　hour；　talking　mainly　of　Avalon。　We　did　not　speak　again　of　the　black　road；　though　I　thought　of　it　quite　a　bit。　I　had　to　get　a　closer　look　at　the　thing；　of　course。
　When　we　were　ready　to　move　on；　I　took　the　reins　again。　The　horses；　somewhat　refreshed；　moved　out　at　a　good　pace。
　Ganelon　sat　beside　me　on　the　left；　still　in　a　talkative　mood。　I　was　only　just　then　beginning　to　realize　how　much　this　strange　homeing　had　meant　to　him。　He　had　revisited　many　of　his　old　haunts　from　the　days　of　his　outlawry；　as　well　as　four　battlefields　where　he　had　distinguished　himself　greatly　after　he　had　achieved　respectability。　I　was　in　many　ways　moved　by　his　reminiscences。　An　unusual　mixture　of　gold　and　clay；　this　man。　He　should　have　been　an　Amberite。
　The　miles　slid　by　quickly　and　we　were　drawing　near　to　the　black　road　again　when　I　felt　a　familiar　mental　jab。　I　passed　the　reins　to　Ganelon。
　〃Take　them！〃　I　said。　〃Drive！〃
　〃What　is　it？〃
　〃Later！　Just　drive！〃
　〃Should　I　hurry？〃
　〃No。　Keep　it　normal。　Don't　say　anything　for　a　while。〃
　I　closed　my　eyes　and　rested　my　head　in　my　hands；　emptying　my　mind　and　building　a　wall　around　the　emptiness。　No　one　home。　Out　to　lunch。　No　solicitors。　This　property　is　vacant。　Do　not　disturb。　Trespassers　will　be　prosecuted。　Beware　of　dog。　Falling　rock。　Slippery　when　wet。　To　be　razed　for　urban　renewal。。。
　It　eased；　then　came　on　again；　hard；　and　I　blocked　it　again。　There　followed　a　third　wave。　I　stopped　that　one；　too。
　Then　it　was　gone。
　I　sighed；　massaged　my　eyeballs。
　〃It's　all　right　now；〃　I　said。
　〃What　happened？〃
　〃Someone　tried　to　reach　me　by　a　very　special　means。　It　was　almost　certainly　Benedict。　He　must　just　now　have　found　out　any　of　a　number　of　things　that　could　make　him　want　to　stop　us。　I'll　take　the　reins　again　now。　I　fear　he　will　be　on　our　trail　soon。〃
　Ganelon　handed　them　over。
　〃What　are　our　chances　of　escaping　him？〃
　〃Pretty　fair　now。　I'd　say；　that　we've　got　more　distance　behind　us。　I　am　going　to　shuffle　some　more　shadows　as　soon　as　my　head　stops　spinning。〃