cb.imajica2-第59部分

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　〃I'm　a　little　biased；　I'm　afraid；〃　she　said　dryly。　〃It　tried　to　kill　me。〃
　〃Gentle　said　that　wasn't　Pie's　nature。〃
　〃No？〃
　〃He　told　me　he　ordered　it　to　live　its　life　as　an　assassin　or　a　whore。　It's　all　his　fault；　he　said。　He　blames　himself　for　everything。〃
　〃Does　he　blame　himself　or　does　he。just　take　responsibility？〃　she　said。　〃There's　a　difference。〃
　〃I　don't　know；〃　Clem　said；　unwilling　to　be　drawn　on　such　niceties。　〃He's　certainly　lost　without　Pie。〃
　She　kept　her　counsel　here；　wanting　to　say　that　she　too　：　was　lost；　that　she　too　pined；　but　not　trusting　even　Clem　with　this　admission。
　〃He　told　me　Pie's　spirit　is　still　alive；　like　Tay's；〃　Clem　was　saying。　〃And　when　this　is　all　over…〃
　〃He　says　a　lot　of　things；〃　Jude　cut　in；　weary　of　hearing　Gentle's　wisdoms　repeated。　；　〃And　you　don't　believe　him？〃
　〃What　do　I　know？〃　she　said；　flinty　now。　〃I　don't　belong　？　in　this　Gospel。　I'm　not　his　lover；　and　I　won't　be　his　disciple。〃
　A　sound　behind　them；　and　they　turned　to　find　Gentle　standing　in　the　hallway；　the　brightness　bouncing　up　from　the　step　like　footlights。　There　was　sweat　on　his　face；　and　his　shirt　was　stuck　to　his　chest。　Clem　rose　with　guilty　speed；　his　heel　catching　his　bottle。　It　rolled　down　two　steps；　spilling　frothy　beer　as　it　went；　before　Jude　caught　it。
　〃It's　hot　up　there；〃　Gentle　said。
　〃And　it's　not　getting　any　cooler；〃　Clem　observed。
　〃Can　I　have　a　word？〃
　Jude　knew　he　wanted　to　speak　out　of　her　earshot；　but　Clem　was　either　too　guileless　to　realize　this；　which　she　doubted；　or　unwilling　to　play　his　game。　He　stayed　on　the　step；　obliging　Gentle　to　e　to　the　door。
　〃When　Monday　gets　back；〃　he　said；　〃I'd　like　you　to　go　to　the　estate　and　bring　back　the　stones　in　the　Retreat。　I'm　going　to　perform　the　Reconciliation　upstairs；　where　I've　got　my　memories　to　help　me。〃
　〃Why　are　you　sending　Clem？〃　Jude　said；　not　rising　or　even　turning。　〃I　know　the　way；　he　doesn't。　I　know　what　the　stones　look　like；　he　doesn't。〃
　〃I　think　you'd　be　better　off　here；〃　Gentle　replied。
　Now　she　turned。　〃What　for？〃　she　said。　〃I'm　no　use　to　anyone。　Unless　you　simply　want　to　keep　an　eye　on　me。〃
　〃Not　at　all。〃
　〃Then　let　me　go；〃　she　said。　〃I'll　take　Monday　to　help　me。　Clem　and　Tay　can　stay　here。　They're　your　angels；　aren't　they？〃
　〃If　that's　the　way　you'd　prefer　it；〃　he　said；　〃I　don't　mind。〃
　〃I'll　e　back；　don't　worry；〃　she　said　derisively；　raising　her　beer　bottle。　〃If　it's　only　to　toast　the　miracle。〃
　
　A　little　while　after　this　conversation；　with　the　blue　tide　of　dusk　rising　in　the　street　and　lifting　the　day　to　the　rooftops；　Gentle　left　off　his　debates　with　Pie　and　went　to　sit　with　Celestine。　Her　room　was　more　meditative　than　the　one　he'd　left；　where　the　memories　of　Pie　had　bee　so　easy　to　conjure　it　was　sometimes　hard　to　believe　the　mystif　wasn't　there　in　the　flesh。　Clem　had　lit　candles　beside　the　mattress　upon　which　Celestine　was　sleeping；　and　their　light　showed　Gentle　a　woman　so　deeply　asleep　that　no　dreams　troubled　her。　Though　she　was　far　from　emaciated；　her　features　were　stark；　as　though　her　flesh　was　halfway　to　being　bone。　He　studied　her　for　a　time；　wondering　if　his　own　face　would　one　day　possess　such　severity；　then　he　returned　to　the　wall　at　the　bottom　of　the　bed　and　sat　on　his　haunches　there；　listening　to　the　slow　cadence　of　her　breath。
　His　mind　was　reeling　with　all　that　he'd　learned；　or　recollected；　in　the　room　above。　Like　so　much　of　the　magic　he'd　bee　acquainted　with；　the　working　of　the　Reconciliation　was　not　a　great　ceremonial。　Whereas　most　of　the　dominant　religions　of　the　Fifth　wallowed　in　ritual　in　order　to　blind　their　flocks　to　the　paucity　of　their　understanding…the　liturgies　and　requiems；　charts　and　sacraments　all　created　to　amplify　those　tiny　grains　of　prehension　the　holy　men　actually　possessed…such　theatrics　were　redundant　when　the　ministers　had　truth　in　their　grasp；　and　with　the　help　of　memory　he　might　yet　bee　one　such　minister。
　The　principle　of　the　Reconciliation　was　not　very　difficult　to　grasp；　he'd　discovered。　Every　two　hundred　years；　it　seemed；　the　In　Ovo　produced　a　kind　of　blossom：　a　five…petaled　lotus　which　floated　for　a　brief　time　in　those　lethal　waters；　immune　to　either　their　poison　or　their　inhabitants。　This　sanctuary　was　called　by　a　variety　of　names　but　most　simply；　and　most　often；　the　Ana。　In　it；　the　Maestros　would　gather；　carrying　there　analogues　of　the　Dominions　they　each　represented。　Once　the　pieces　were　assembled；　the　process　had　its　own　momentum。　The　analogues　would　fuse　and；　empowered　by　the　Ana；　burgeon；　driving　the　In　Ovo　back　and　opening　the　way　between　the　Reconciled　Dominions　and　the　Fifth。
　〃The　flow　of　things　is　towards　success；〃　the　mystif　had　said；　speaking　from　a　better　time。　〃It's　the　natural　instinct　of　every　broken　thing　to　make　itself　whole。　And　the　Imajica　is　broken　until　it's　Reconciled。〃
　〃Then　why　have　there　been　so　many　failures？〃　Gentle　had　asked。
　〃There　haven't　been　that　many；〃　Pie　had　replied。　〃And　they　were　always　destroyed　by　outside　forces。　Christos　was　brought　down　by　politics。　Pineo　was　destroyed　by　the　Vatican。　Always　people　from　the　outside；　destroying　the　Maestro's　best　intentions。　We　don't　have　such　enemies。〃
　Ironic　words；　with　hindsight。　Gentle　could　not　afford　such　placency　again；　not　with　Sartori　still　alive　and　the　chilling　image　of　Pie's　last　frantic　appearance　at　the　Erasure　still　in　his　head。
　It　was　no　use　dwelling　on　it。　He　put　the　sight　away　as　best　he　could；　settling　his　gaze　on　Celestine　instead。　It　was　difficult　to　think　of　her　as　his　mother。　Maybe；　among　the　innumerable　memories　he'd　garnered　in　this　house；　there　was　some　faint　recollection　of　being　a　babe　in　these　arms；　of　putting　his　toothless　mouth　to　these　breasts　and　being　nourished　there。　But　if　it　was　there；　it　escaped　him。　Perhaps　there　were　simply　too　many　years；　and　lives；　and　women；　between　now　and　that　cradling。　He　could　find　it　in　him　to　be　grateful　for　the　life　she'd　given　him；　but　it　was　hard　to　feel　much　more　than　that。
　After　a　time　the　vigil　began　to　depress　him。　She　was　too　like　a　corpse；　lying　there；　and　he　too　much　a　dutiful　but　loveless　mourner。　He　got　up　to　go；　but　before　he　quit　the　room　he　halted　at　her　bedside　and　stooped　to　touch　her　cheek。　He'd　not　laid　his　flesh　to　hers　in　twenty…three　or　…　four　decades；　and　perhaps；　after　this；　he　wouldn't　do　so　again。　She　wasn't　chilly；　as　he'd　expected　her　to　be；　but　warm；　and　he　kept　his　hand　upon　her　longer　than　he'd　intended。
　Somewhere　in　the　depths　of　her　slumber　she　felt　his　touch　and　seemed　to　rise　into　a　dream　of　him。　Her　austerity　softened；　and　her　pale　lips　said；　〃Child？〃
　He　wasn't　sure　whether　to　answer；　but　in　the　moment　of　hesitation　she　spoke　again；　the　same　question。　This　time　he　replied。
　〃Yes；　Mama？〃　he　said。
　〃Will　you　remember　what　I　told　you？〃
　What　now？　he　wondered。　〃I'm　。。。　not　certain；〃　he　told　her。'Til　try。〃
　〃Shall　I　tell　you　again？　I　want　you　to　remember；　child。〃
　〃Yes；　Mama；〃　he　said。　〃That　would　be　good。　Tell　me　again。〃
　She　smiled　an　infinitesimal　smile　and　began　to　repeat　a　story　she'd　apparently　told　many　times。
　〃There　was　a　woman　once；　called　Nisi　Nirvana。。。。〃
　She'd　no　sooner　started；　however；　than　the　dream　she　was　having　lost　its　claim　on　her；　and　she　began　to　slip　back　into　a　deeper　place；　her　voice　losing　power　as　she　went。
　〃Don't　stop；　Mama；〃　Gentle　prompted。　〃I　want　to　hear。　There　was　a　woman　。。。〃
　〃Yes。。。〃
　〃；。。　called　Nisi　Nirvana。〃
　〃Yes。　And　she　went　to　a　city　full　of　iniquities；　where　no　ghost　was　holy　and　no　flesh　was　whole。　And　something　there　did　a　great　hurt　to　her。。。。〃
　Her　voice　was　getting　stronger　again；　but　the　smile；　even　that　tiniest　hint；　had　gone。
　〃What　hurt　was　this；　Mama？〃
　〃You　needn't　know　the　hurt；　child。　You'll　learn　about　it　one　day；　and　on　that　day　you'll　wish　you　could　forget　it。　Just　understand　that　it's　a　hurt　only　men　can　do　to　women。〃
　〃And　who　did　this　hurt　to　her？〃　Gentle　asked。
　〃I　told　you；　child；　a　man。〃
　〃But　what　man？〃
　〃His　name　doesn't　matter。　What　matters　is　that　she　escaped　him；　and　came　back　into　her　own　city；　and　knew　she　must　make　a　good　thing　from　this　bad　that　had　been　done　to　her。　And　do　you　know　what　that　good　thing　was？〃
　〃No；　Mama。〃
　〃It　was　a　little　baby。　A　perfect　little　baby。　And　she　loved　it　so　much　it　grew　big　after　a　time；　and　she　knew　it　would　be　leaving　her；　so　she　said；　'I　have　a　story　to　tell　you　before　you　go。'　And　do　you　know　what　the　story　was？　I　want　you　to　remember；　child。〃
　〃Tell　me。〃
　〃There　was　a　woman　called　Nisi　Nirvana。　And　she　went　into　a　city　of　iniquities…〃
　〃That's　the　same　story；　Mama。〃
　〃…where　no　ghost　was　holy…〃
　〃You　haven't　finished　the　first　story。　You've　just　begun　again。〃
　〃…and　no　flesh　was　whole。　And　something　there…〃
　〃Stop；　Mama；〃　Gentle　said。　〃Stop。〃
　〃…did　a　great　hurt　to　her。。。。〃
　Distressed　by　this　loop；　Gentle　took　his　hand　from　his　mother's　cheek。　She　didn't　halt　her　recitation；　however；　at　least　not　at　first。　The　story　went　on　exactly　as　it　had　before：　the　escape　from　the　city；　the　good　thing　made　from　the　bad；　the　baby；　the　perfect　little　baby。　But　with　the　hand　no　longer　on　her　cheek　Celestine　was　sinking　back　into　unthinking　slumber；　her　voice　steadily　growing　more　indistinct。　Gentle　got　up　and　backed　away　to　the　door；　as　the　whispered　wheel　came　full　circle　again。
　〃So　she　said：　I　have　a　story　to　tell　you　before　you　go。〃
　Gentle　reached　behind　him　and　opened　the　door；　his　eyes　fixed　on　his　mother　as　the　words　slurred。
　〃And　do　you　know　what　the　story　was？〃　she　said。　〃I　want。。。　you　。。。　to　。。。　remember。。。　child。〃
　He　went　on　watching　her　as　he　slipped　out　into　the　hallway。　The　last　sounds　he　heard　would　have　been　nonsense　to　any　ear　other　than　this；　but　he'd　heard　this　story　often　enough　now　to　know　that　she　was　beginning　again　as　she'd　dropped　into　dreamlessness。
　〃There　was　a　woman　once　。。。〃
　On　that；　he　closed　the　door。　For　some　inexplicable　reason；　he　was　shaking；　and　had　to　stand　at　the　threshold　for　several　seconds　before　he　could　control　the　tremor。　When　he　turned；　he　found　Clem　at　the　bottom　of　the　stairs；　sorting　through　a　selection　of　candles。
　〃Is　she　still　asleep？〃　he　asked　as　Gentle　approached。
　〃Yes；　Has　she　talked　to　you　at　all；　Clem？〃
　〃Very　little。　Why？〃
　〃I've　just　been　list