rasalvatore.attackoftheclones-第42部分

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　only　a　single　hut　still　standing。
　
　He　put　his　lightsaber　away　and　walked　back　to　that　hut；　where　he　gently　and　reverently　scooped　his　mother's　body　into　his　arms。
　
　Chapter　Twenty…One
　
　〃There！〃　Padme　announced；　as　she　hoisted　C…3PO　back　out　of　the　oil　bath。
　
　She　had　to　fight　hard　to　keep　from　giggling；　for　she　had　inadvertently　lowered　the　droid　too　far；　and　now　he　was　waving　his　arms　about　crazily；　yelling　that　he　was　blind。
　
　Padme　yanked　him　over　to　the　side　and　found　a　cloth　to　wipe　the　excess　oil　off　of　his　face。　That　done；　she　set　the　droid　down　on　the　floor　and　unhitched　him。
　〃Better？〃　she　asked。
　〃Oh；　much　better；　Miss　Padme。〃　C…3PO　waved　his　arms　about　and　seemed　quite　pleased。
　〃No　itches？〃　Padme　asked；　inspecting　her　work。
　〃No　itches；〃　C…3PO　confirmed。
　〃Well；　good；〃　she　said　with　a　smile。　But　her　smile　faltered　as　she　realized　that　she　was　done。　She　had　used　her　work　with　the　droid　to　shield　her　from　her　fears　over　the　last　hours…she　had　hardly　even　realized　that　the　sun　had　risen…and　now　those　fears　for　Anakin　were　already　ing　back　to　her。
　
　She　was　running　out　of　places　to　hide。　〃Oh；　Miss　Padme；　thank　you！　Thank　you！〃　said　C…3PO。　He　came　forward；　his　arms　outstretched　to　hug　her；　but　then　he　moved　back　suddenly；　seeming　to　remember　himself　and　his　sudden　lack　of　protocol。
　〃Thank　you；〃　he　said　again；　with　a　little　more　dignity。　〃Thank　you　very　much。〃　　　Owen　Lars　entered　the　garage　area。　〃Well；　there　you　are；〃　he　said　to　Padme。
　〃We've　been　looking　all　over　for　you。〃
　〃I　was　out　here　all　the　time；　giving　Threepio　a　much…needed　bath。〃
　〃Well；　Padme；〃　Owen　said；　and　when　she　turned　to　regard　him；　Padme　saw　that　he　was　grinning　widely。　〃I'm　returning　this　droid　to　Anakin。　I　know　that's　what　my　mom　would　want。〃
　
　Padme　smiled　and　nodded。
　〃He's　back！　He's　back！〃　came　Beru's　call　from　outside　the　garage。　Smiles　gone；　Padme　and　Owen　turned　and　rushed　out。
　
　They　caught　up　with　Beru　outside；　and　Cliegg　soon　joined　them；　his　hoverchair　banging　and　clunking　against　furniture　and　doorways　as　he　glided　out　of　the　house。　〃Where？　〃Padme　asked。　Beru　pointed　across　the　desert。　Squinting　and　shielding　her　eyes　from　the　glare　of　the　suns；　Padme　finally　marked　the　black　dot　that　was　Anakin；　rushing　toward　them。　As　the　speck　grew　into　a　distinguishable　form；　she　realized　that　he　was　not　alone；　that　there　was　someone　tied　over　the　back　of　the　speeder。
　〃Oh；　Shmi；〃　Cliegg　Lars　said　breathlessly。　He　was　trembling　visibly。　Beru　sniffled　and　struggled　to　keep　from　sobbing。　Owen　stood　beside　her；　his　hand　draped　across　her　shoulders；　and　when　Padme　looked　over　at　them；　she　noticed　a　tear　sliding　down　Owen's　cheek。
　
　Anakin　crossed　into　the　pound　a　few　moments　later；　pulling　up　short　of　the　stunned　group。　Without　a　word；　he　dismounted　and　moved　to　unstrap　his　dead　mother；　lifting　her　and　cradling　her　in　his　arms。　He　walked　up　to　Cliegg　and　paused　there　for　a　bit；　two　men　sharing　a　moment　of　grief。
　
　Then；　still　without　speaking；　Anakin　walked　past　the　man　and　into　the　house。
　
　All　that　time；　the　thing　that　struck　Padme　the　most　was　the　look　upon　Anakin's　face；　an　expression　unlike　anything　she　had　ever　seen　on　the　Padawan：　part　rage；　part　grief；　part　guilt；　and　part　resignation；　even　defeat。　She　knew　that　Anakin　would　need　her；　and　soon。
　
　But　she　had　no　idea　of　what　she　might　do　for　him。
　
　There　wasn't　much　talking　in　the　Lars　homestead　the　rest　of　that　day。　Everyone　just　went　about　their　chores；　any　chores；　obviously　trying　to　avoid　the　outpouring　of　grief　that　they　all　knew　would　inevitably　e。
　
　At　work　preparing　a　meal　for　Anakin；　Padme　was　surprised　when　Beru　came　up　to　help　her；　and　even　more　surprised　when　the　woman　started　some　small　talk　with　her。
　〃What's　it　like　there？〃　Beru　asked。
　
　Padme　looked　at　her　curiously。　〃I'm　sorry？〃
　〃On　Naboo。　What's　it　like？〃
　
　Padme　could　hardly　even　register　the　question；　for　her　thoughts　remained　with　Anakin。　It　took　her　a　long　time　to　respond；　but　finally　she　managed　to　say；　〃Oh；　it's　very　。　。　。　very　green。　You　know；　with　lots　of　water；　and　trees　and　plants　everywhere。　It's　not　like　here　at　all。〃　She　turned　away　as　soon　as　she　finished；　and　knew　she　was　being　a　bit　rude。　But　all　she　wanted　was　to　be　with　Anakin；　and　so　she　started　loading　the　food　tray。
　〃I　think　I　like　it　here　better；〃　Beru　remarked。
　〃Maybe　you'll　e　and　see　it　someday；〃　Padme　said；　more　to　be　polite　than　anything　else。
　
　But　Beru　answered　seriously。　〃I　don't　think　so。　I　don't　like　to　travel。〃　Padme　picked　up　the　tray　and　turned　to　go。　〃Thanks；　Beru；〃　she　said　with　as　much　of　a　smile　as　she　could　muster。
　
　She　found　Anakin　standing　at　a　workbench　in　the　garage；　working　on　a　part　from　the　speeder　bike。
　〃I　brought　you　something　to　eat。〃
　
　Anakin　glanced　at　her；　but　immediately　went　back　to　his　work。　She　noted　that　he　was　exaggerating　every　movement；　obviously　frustrated；　obviously　distracted　from　the　task　at　hand。　〃The　shifter　broke；〃　he　explained；　too　intently。　〃Life　seems　so　much　simpler　when　you're　fixing　things。　I'm　good　at　fixing　things。　I　always　was。　But　I。。。〃
　
　Finally　he　slammed　down　the　wrench　he　was　using　and　just　stood　there；　head　bowed。
　
　Padme　recognized　that　he　was　on　the　verge　of　collapse。
　〃Why　did　she　have　to　die？〃　he　mouthed　quietly。　Padme　slid　the　tray　down　on　the　workbench　and　moved　behind　him；　putting　her　arms　about　his　waist　and　resting　her　head　fortingly　on　his　back。
　〃Why　couldn't　I　save　her？〃　Anakin　asked。　〃I　know　I　could　have！〃
　〃Annie；　you　tried。〃　She　squeezed　him　a　bit　tighter。　〃Sometimes　there　are　things　no　one　can　fix。　You're　not　all…powerful。〃
　
　He　stiffened　at　her　words　and　pulled　away　from　her　suddenly…and　angrily；　she　realized。　〃But　I　should　be！〃　he　growled；　and　then　he　looked　at　her；　his　face　a　mask　of　grim　determination。　〃And　someday　I　will　be！〃
　〃Anakin；　don't　say　such　things；〃　Padme　replied　fearfully；　but　he　didn't　even　seem　to　hear　her。
　〃I'll　be　the　most　powerful　Jedi　ever！〃　he　railed　on。　〃I　promise　you！　I　will　even　learn　to　stop　people　from　dying！〃
　〃Anakin…〃
　〃It's　all　Obi…Wan's　fault！〃　He　stormed　across　the　room　and　slammed　his　fist　onto　the　workbench　again；　nearly　dislodging　the　plate　of　food。　〃He　put　me　out　of　the　way。〃
　〃To　guard　me；〃　she　said　quietly。
　〃I　should　have　been　out　with　him；　hunting　the　assassins！　I'd　have　had　them　a　long　time　ago；　and　would've　gotten　here　in　time　and　my　mother　would　still　be　alive！〃
　〃You　can't　know…〃
　〃He's　jealous　of　me；〃　Anakin　rambled　on；　paying　no　attention　to　her　at　all。　He　wasn't　talking　to　her；　she　realized；　but　was　just　playing　it　all　out　verbally　for　himself。　She　could　hardly　believe　what　she　was　hearing。　〃He　put　me　out　of　the　way　because　he　knows　that　I'm　already　more　powerful　than　he　is。　He's　holding　me　back！〃
　
　He　finished　by　picking　up　his　wrench　and　throwing　it　across　the　garage；　where　it　smashed　against　a　far　wall　and　clattered　down　among　some　spare　parts。
　〃Anakin；　what's　wrong？〃　she　cried　at　him。
　
　Her　volume　and　tone　finally　got　his　attention。　〃I　just　told　you！〃
　〃No！〃　Padme　yelled　back　at　him。　〃No。　What's　really　wrong？〃　Anakin　just　stared　at　her；　and　she　knew　that　she　was　on　to　something。
　〃I　know　it　hurts；　Anakin。　But　this　is　more　than　that。　What's　really　wrong？〃
　
　He　just　stared　at　her。
　〃Annie？〃
　
　His　body　seemed　to　shrink　then；　and　slump　forward　just　a　bit。　〃I　。。。　I　killed　them；〃　he　admitted；　and　if　Padme　hadn't　run　to　him　and　grabbed　him　close；　he　would　have　fallen　over。　〃I　killed　them　all；〃　he　admitted。
　〃They're　dead。　Every　single　one　of　them。〃
　
　He　looked　at　her　then；　and　it　seemed　to　her　as　if　he　had　suddenly　returned　to　her　from　somewhere　far；　far　away。
　〃You　did　battle　。　。　。〃　she　started　to　reason。
　
　He　ignored　her。　〃Not　just　the　men；〃　he　went　on。　〃And　the　men　are　the　only　fighters　among　the　Tuskens。　No；　not　just　them。　The　women　and　the　children；　too。〃　His　face　contorted；　as　if　he　was　teetering　between　anger　and　guilt。
　〃They're　like　animals！〃　he　said　suddenly。　〃And　I　slaughtered　them　like　animals！　I　hate　them！〃
　
　Padme　sat　back　a　bit；　too　stunned　to　respond。　She　knew　that　Anakin　needed　her　to　say　something　or　do　something；　but　she　was　paralyzed。　He　wasn't　even　looking　at　her…he　was　just　staring　off　into　the　distance。　But　then　he　lowered　his　head　and　began　to　sob；　his　lean；　strong　shoulders　shaking。　Padme　pulled　him　in　and　hugged　him　close；　never　wanting　to　let　go。　She　still　didn't　know　what　to　say。
　〃Why　do　I　hate　them？〃　Anakin　asked　her。
　〃Do　you　hate　them；　or　do　you　hate　what　they　did　to　your　mother？〃
　〃I　hate　them！〃　he　insisted。
　〃And　they　earned　your　anger；　Anakin。〃
　
　He　looked　up　at　her；　his　eyes　wet　with　tears。　〃But　it　was　more　than　that；〃　he　started　to　say；　and　then　he　shook　his　head　and　buried　his　face　against　the　softness　of　her　breast。
　
　A　moment　later；　he　looked　back　up；　his　expression　showing　that　he　was　determined　to　explain。　〃I　didn't　。。。　I　couldn't。。。〃　He　held　one　hand　up　outstretched；　then　clenched　it　into　a　fist。　〃I　couldn't　control　myself；〃　he　admitted。　〃I　。。。　I　don't　want　to　hate　them…I　know　that　there　is　no　place　for　hatred。　But　I　just　can't　forgive　them！〃
　〃To　be　angry　is　to　be　human；〃　Padme　assured　him。
　〃To　control　your　anger　is　to　be　a　Jedi；〃　Anakin　was　quick　to　reply；　and　he　pulled　away　from　her　and　stood　up；　turning　to　face　the　open　door　and　the　desert　beyond。
　
　Padme　was　right　there　beside　him；　draping　her　arms　about　him。　〃Shhh；〃　she　said　softly。　She　kissed　him　gently　on　the　cheek。　〃You're　human。〃
　〃No；　I'm　a　Jedi。　I　know　I'm　better　than　this。〃　He　looked　at　her　directly；　shaking　his　head。　〃I'm　sorry。　I'm　so　sorry。〃
　〃You're　like　everybody　else；〃　Padme　said。　She　tried　to　draw　closer；　but　Anakin　held　himself　back　from　her。
　
　He　couldn't　hold　the　pose　of　defiance　for　long；　though；　before　he　broke　down　again　in　sobs。
　
　Padme　was　there　to　hold　him　and　rock　him　and　tell　him　that　everything　would　be　all　right。
　
　　Obi…Wan　Kenobi　slumped　back　in　the　seat　of　his　starfighter；　shaking　his　head　in　frustration。　It　had　taken　him　a　long　while　to　extract　himself　safely　from　the　factory　city；　and　when　he　had　at　last　found　his　starfighter；　he　had　thought　the　adventure　ov