rh.theassassinsapprentice-第18部分

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　　　　　　　e　late　fall　of　that　year；　on　the　very　cusp　of　winter's　tooth；　I　was　given　my　most　difficult　assignment。　Chade　had　summoned　me　up　to　his　chambers　almost　as　soon　as　I　had　blown　out　my　night　candle。　We　were　sharing　sweetmeats　and　a　bit　of　spiced　wine；　sitting　in　front　of　Chade's　hearth。　He　had　been　lavishly　praising　my　latest　escapade；　one　that　required　me　turning　inside　out　every　shirt　hung　to　dry　on　the　laundry　courtyard's　drying　lines　without　getting　caught。　It　had　been　a　difficult　task；　the　hardest　part　of　which　had　been　to　refrain　from　laughing　aloud　and　betraying　my　hiding　place　within　a　dyeing　vat　when　two　of　the　younger　laundry　lads　had　declared　my　prank　the　work　of　water　sprites　and　refused　to　do　any　more　washing　that　day。　Chade；　as　usual；　knew　of　the　whole　scenario　even　before　I　reported　to　him。　He　delighted　me　by　letting　me　know　that　Master　Lew　of　the　launderers　had　decreed　that　Sinjon's　wort　was　to　be　hung　at　every　corner　of　the　courtyard　and　garlanded　about　every　well　to　ward　off　sprites　from　tomorrow's　work。
　　　　　　　〃You've　a　gift　for　this；　boy。〃　Chade　chuckled　and　tousled　my　hair。　〃I　almost　think　there's　no　task　I　could　set　you　that　you　couldn't　do。〃
　　　　　　　He　was　sitting　in　his　straight…backed　chair　before　the　fire；　and　I　was　on　the　floor　beside　him；　leaning　my　back　against　one　of　his　legs。　He　patted　me　the　way　Burrich　might　pat　a　young　bird　dog　that　had　done　well；　and　then　leaned　forward　to　say　softly；　〃But　I've　a　challenge　for　you。〃
　　　　　　　〃What　is　it？〃　I　demanded　eagerly。
　　　　　　　〃It　won't　be　easy；　even　for　one　with　as　light　a　touch　as　yours；〃　he　warned　me。
　　　　　　　〃Try　me！〃　I　challenged　him　in　return。
　　　　　　　〃Oh；　in　another　month　or　two；　perhaps；　when　you've　had　a　bit　more　teaching。　I've　a　game　to　teach　you　tonight；　one　that　will　sharpen　your　eye　and　your　memory。〃　He　reached　into　a　pouch　and　drew　out　a　handful　of　something。　He　opened　his　hand　briefly　in　front　of　me：　colored　stones。　The　hand　closed。　〃Were　there　any　yellow　ones？〃
　　　　　　　〃Yes。　Chade；　what　is　the　challenge？〃
　　　　　　　〃How　many？〃
　　　　　　　〃Two　that　I　could　see。　Chade；　I　bet　I　could　do　it　now。〃
　　　　　　　〃Could　there　have　been　more　than　two？〃
　　　　　　　〃Possibly；　if　some　were　concealed　pletely　under　the　top　layer。　I　don't　think　it　likely。　Chade；　what　is　the　challenge？〃
　　　　　　　He　opened　his　bony　old　hand；　stirred　the　stones　with　his　long　forefinger。　〃Right　you　were。　Only　two　yellow　ones。　Shall　we　go　again？〃
　　　　　　　〃Chade；　I　can　do　it。〃
　　　　　　　〃You　think　so；　do　you？　Look　again；　here's　the　stones。　One；　two；　three；　and　gone　again。　Were　there　any　red　ones？〃
　　　　　　　〃Yes。　Chade；　what　is　the　task？〃
　　　　　　　〃Were　there　more　red　ones　than　blue？　To　bring　me　something　personal　from　the　King's　night　table。〃
　　　　　　　〃What？〃
　　　　　　　〃Were　there　more　red　stones　than　blue　ones？〃
　　　　　　　〃No；　I　mean；　what　was　the　task？〃
　　　　　　　〃Wrong；　boy！〃　Chade　announced　it　merrily。　He　opened　his　fist。　〃See；　three　red　and　three　blue。　Exactly　the　same。　You'll　have　to　look　quicker　than　that　if　you're　to　meet　my　challenge。〃
　　　　　　　〃And　seven　green。　I　knew　that；　Chade。　But　。。。　you　want　me　to　steal　from　the　King？〃　I　still　couldn't　believe　I　had　heard　it。
　　　　　　　〃Not　steal；　just　borrow。　As　you　did　Mistress　Hasty's　shears。　There's　no　harm　in　a　prank　like　that；　is　there？〃
　　　　　　　〃None　except　that　I'd　be　whipped　if　I　were　caught。　Or　worse。
　　　　　　　〃And　you're　afraid　you'd　be　caught。　See；　I　told　you　it　had　best　wait　a　month　or　two；　until　your　skills　were　better。〃
　　　　　　　〃It's　not　the　punishment。　It's　that　if　I　were　caught　。。。　the　King　and　I　。。。　we　made　a　bargain　。。。　。〃　My　words　dwindled　away。　I　stared　at　him　in　confusion。　Chade's　instruction　was　a　part　of　the　bargain　Shrewd　and　I　had　made。　Each　time　we　met；　before　he　began　instructing　me；　he　formally　reminded　me　of　that　bargain。　I　had　given　to　Chade　as　well　as　the　King　my　word　that　I　would　be　loyal。　Surely　he　could　see　that　if　I　acted　against　the　King；　I'd　be　breaking　my　part　of　the　bargain。
　　　　　　　〃It's　a　game；　boy；〃　Chade　said　patiently。　〃That's　all。　Just　a　bit　of　mischief。　It's　not　really　so　serious　as　you　seem　to　think　it。　The　only　reason　I'm　choosing　it　as　a　task　is　that　the　King's　room　and　his　things　are　so　closely　watched。　Anyone　can　make　off　with　a　seamstress's　shears。　We're　talking　about　a　real　bit　of　stealth　now；　to　enter　the　King's　own　chambers　and　take　something　that　belongs　to　him。　If　you　could　do　that；　I'd　believe　I'd　spent　my　time　well　in　teaching　you。　I'd　feel　you　appreciated　what　I'd　taught　you。〃
　　　　　　　〃You　know　I　appreciate　what　you　teach　me；〃　I　said　quickly。　That　wasn't　it　at　all。　Chade　seemed　to　be　pletely　missing　my　point。　〃I'd　feel　。。。　disloyal。　Like　I　was　using　what　you'd　taught　me　to　trick　the　King。　Almost　as　if　I　were　laughing　at　him。〃
　　　　　　　〃Ah！〃　Chade　leaned　back　in　his　chair；　a　smile　on　his　face。　〃Don't　let　that　bother　you；　boy。　King　Shrewd　can　appreciate　a　good　jest　when　he's　shown　one。　Whatever　you　take；　I'll　return　myself　to　him。　It　will　be　a　sign　to　him　of　how　well　I've　taught　you　and　how　well　you've　learned。　Take　something　simple　if　it　worries　you　so；　it　needn't　be　the　crown　off　his　head　or　the　ring　from　his　finger！　Just　his　hairbrush；　or　any　bit　of　paper　that's　about　…　even　　his　glove　or　belt　would　do。　Nothing　of　any　great　value。　Just　a　token。〃
　　　　　　　I　thought　I　should　pause　to　think；　but　I　knew　I　didn't　need　to。　〃I　can't　do　it。　I　mean；　I　won't　do　it。　Not　from　King　Shrewd。　Name　any　other；　anyone　else's　room；　and　I'll　do　it。　Remember　when　I　took　Regal's　scroll？　You'll　see；　I　can　creep　in　anywhere　and…　〃　
　　　　　　　〃Boy？〃　Chade's　voice　came　slowly；　puzzled。　〃Don't　you　trust　me？　I　tell　you　it's　all　right。　It's　just　a　challenge　we're　talking　about；　not　high　treason。　And　this　time；　if　you're　caught；　I　promise　I'll　step　right　in　and　explain　it　all。　You　won't　be　punished。〃
　　　　　　　〃That's　not　it；〃　I　said　frantically。　I　could　sense　Chade's　growing　puzzlement　over　my　refusal。　I　scrabbled　within　myself　to　find　a　way　to　explain　to　him。　〃I　promised　to　be　loyal　to　Shrewd。　And　this…〃
　　　　　　　〃There's　nothing　disloyal　about　this！〃　Chade　snapped。　I　looked　up　to　see　angry　glints　in　his　eyes。　Startled；　I　drew　back　from　him。　I'd　never　seen　him　glare　so。　〃What　are　you　saying；　boy？　That　I'm　asking　you　to　betray　your　king？　Don't　be　an　idiot。　This　is　just　a　simple　little　test；　my　way　of　measuring　you　and　showing　Shrewd　himself　what　you've　learned；　and　you　balk　at　it。　And　try　to　cover　your　cowardice　by　prattling　about　loyalty。　Boy；　you　shame　me。　I　thought　you　had　more　backbone　than　this；　or　I'd　never　have　begun　teaching　you。〃
　　　　　　　〃Chade！〃　I　began　in　horror。　His　words　had　left　me　reeling。　He　pulled　away　from　me；　and　I　felt　my　small　world　rocking　around　me　as　his　voice　went　on　coldly。
　　　　　　　〃Best　you　get　back　to　your　bed；　little　boy。　Think　exactly　how　you've　insulted　me　tonight。　To　insinuate　I'd　somehow　be　disloyal　to　our　king。　Crawl　down　the　stairs；　you　little　craven。　And　the　next　time　I　summon　you　。。。　Hah；　if　I　summon　you　again；　e　prepared　to　obey　me。　Or　don't　e　at　all。　Now　go。〃
　　　　　　　Never　had　Chade　spoken　to　me　so　before。　I　could　not　recall　that　he　had　even　raised　his　voice　to　me。　I　stared；　almost　without　prehension；　at　the　thin　pock…scarred　arm　that　protruded　from　the　sleeve　of　his　robe；　at　the　long　finger　that　pointed　so　disdainfully　toward　the　door　and　the　stairs。　As　I　rose　I　felt　physically　sick。　I　reeled；　and　had　to　catch　hold　of　a　chair　as　I　passed。　But　I　went；　doing　as　he　told　me；　unable　to　think　of　anything　else　to　do。　Chade；　who　had　bee　the　central　pillar　of　my　world；　who　had　made　me　believe　I　was　something　of　value；　was　taking　it　all　away。　Not　just　his　approval；　but　our　time　together；　my　sense　that　I　was　going　to　be　something　in　my　lifetime。
　　　　　　　I　stumbled　and　staggered　down　the　stairs。　Never　had　they　seemed　so　long　or　so　cold。　The　bottom　door　grated　shut　behind　me；　and　I　was　left　in　total　darkness。　I　groped　my　way　to　my　bed；　but　my　blankets　could　not　warm　me；　nor　did　I　find　any　trace　of　sleep　that　night。　I　tossed　in　agony。　The　worst　part　was　that　I　could　find　no　indecision　in　myself。　I　could　not　do　the　thing　Chade　asked　of　me。　Therefore；　I　would　lose　him。　Without　his　instruction；　I　would　be　of　no　value　to　the　King。　But　that　was　not　the　agony。　The　agony　was　simply　the　loss　of　Chade　from　my　life：　I　could　not　remember　how　I　had　managed　before　when　I　had　been　so　alone。　To　return　to　the　drudgery　of　living　day　to　day；　going　from　task　to　task　seemed　impossible。
　　　　　　　I　tried　desperately　to　think　of　something　to　do。　But　there　seemed　no　answer。　I　could　go　to　Shrewd　himself；　show　my　pin　and　be　admitted；　and　tell　him　of　my　dilemma。　But　what　would　he　say？　Would　he　see　me　as　a　silly　little　boy？　Would　he　say　I　should　have　obeyed　Chade？　Worse；　would　he　say　I　was　right　to　disobey　Chade　and　be　angry　with　Chade？　These　were　very　difficult　questions　for　a　boy's　mind；　and　I　found　no　answers　that　helped　me。
　　　　　　　When　morning　finally　came；　I　dragged　myself　from　my　bed　and　reported　to　Burrich　as　usual。　I　went　about　my　tasks　in　a　gray　listlessness　that　first　brought　me　scoldings　and　then　an　inquiry　as　to　the　state　of　my　belly。　I　told　him　simply　that　I　had　not　slept　well；　and　he　let　me　off　without　the　threatened　tonic。　I　did　no　better　at　weapons。　My　state　of　distraction　was　such　that　I　let　a　much　younger　boy　deliver　a　stout　clout　to　my　skull。　Hod　scolded　us　both　for　recklessness　and　told　me　to　sit　down　for　a　bit。
　　　　　　　My　head　was　pounding　and　my　legs　were　shaky　when　I　returned　to　the　keep。　I　went　to　my　room；　for　I　had　no　stomach　for　the　noon　meal　or　the　loud　conversations　that　went　with　it。　I　lay　on　my　bed；　intending　to　close　my　eyes　for　just　a　moment；　but　fell　into　a　deep　sleep。　I　awoke　halfway　through　the　afternoon　and　thought　of　the　scoldings　I　would　face　for　missing　my　afternoon　lessons。　But　it　wasn't　enough　to　rouse　me　and　I　dropped　off；　only　to　be　awakened　at　suppertime　by　a　serving　girl　who　had　e　to　inquire　after　me　at　Burrich's　behest。　I　staved　her　off　by　telling　her　I　had　a　sour　gut　and　was　going　to　fast　until　it　cleared。　After　she　left；　I　drowsed　but　did　not　sleep。　I　couldn't。　Night　deepened　in　my　unlit　room；　and　I　heard　the　rest　of　the　keep　go　off　to　rest。　In　darkness　and　stillness；　I　lay　waiting　for　a　summons　I　would　not　dare　answer。　What　if　the　door　opened？　I　could　not　go　to　Chade；　for　I　could　not　obey　him。　W