rz.signoftheunicorn-第20部分

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kness。　I　turned　my　head。　I　did　not　see　anyone　else　in　the　room　with　me。　But　something　peculiar　had　occurred　and　I　could　not　quite　place　it。　I　closed　my　eyes　and　let　my　head　fall　back　to　the　mattress　once　more。　Something　was　wrong；　yet　at　the　same　time　right。。。
　The　mattress。。。　Yes；　I　was　lying　on　my　bed。　I　doubted　my　ability　to　have　gotten　there　unassisted。　But　it　would　be　absurd　to　knife　me　and　them　help　me　to　bed。
　My　bed。。。　It　was　my　bed；　yet　it　was　not。
　I　squeezed　my　eyes　tight。　I　gritted　my　teeth。　I　did　not　understand。　I　knew　that　my　thinking　could　not　be　normal　there　on　the　fringes　of　shock；　my　blood　pooling　in　my　guts　and　then　leaking　out。　I　tried　to　force　myself　to　think　clearly。　It　was　not　easy。
　My　bed。　Before　you　are　fully　aware　of　anything　else；　you　are　aware　whether　you　are　awakening　in　your　own　bed。　And　I　was；　but　…　
　I　fought　down　an　enormous　impulse　to　sneeze；　because　I　felt　it　would　tear　me　apart。　I　pressed　my　nostrils　and　breathed　in　short　gasps　through　my　mouth。　The　taste；　smell　and　feel　of　dust　was　all　about　me。
　The　nasal　assault　subsided　and　I　opened　my　eyes。　I　knew　then　where　I　was。　I　did　not　understand　the　why　and　how　of　it；　but　I　had　e　once　more　to　a　place　I　had　never　expected　to　see　again。　I　lowered　my　right　hand；　used　it　to　raise　myself。
　It　was　my　bedroom　in　my　house。　The　old　one。　The　place　which　had　been　mine　back　when　I　was　Carl　Corey。　I　had　been　returned　to　Shadow；　to　that　world　heavy　with　dust。　The　bed　had　not　been　made　up　since　the　last　time　I　had　slept　in　it；　over　half　a　decade　before。　I　knew　the　state　of　the　house　fully；　having　looked　in　on　it　only　a　few　weeks　earlier。
　I　pushed　myself　further；　managed　to　slide　my　feet　out　over　the　edge　of　the　bed　and　down。　Then　I　doubled　up　again　and　sat　there。　It　was　bad。
　While　I　felt　temporarily　safe　from　further　assault；　I　knew　that　I　required　more　than　safety　just　then。　I　had　to　have　help；　and　I　was　in　no　position　to　help　myself。　I　was　not　even　certain　how　much　longer　I　might　remain　conscious。　So　I　had　to　get　down　and　get　out。　The　phone　would　be　dead；　the　nearest　house　was　not　too　close　by。　I　would　have　to　get　down　to　the　road；　at　least。　I　reflected　grimly　that　one　of　my　reasons　for　locating　where　I　had　was　that　it　was　not　a　well…traveled　road。　I　enjoy　my　solitude；　at　least　some　of　the　time。
　With　my　right　hand　I　drew　up　the　nearest　pillow　and　slipped　off　its　case。　I　turned　it　inside　out；　tried　to　fold　it；　gave　up；　wadded　it；　slipped　it　beneath　my　shirt；　and　pressed　it　against　my　wound。　Then　I　sat　there；　just　holding　it　in　place。　It　had　been　a　major　exertion　and　I　found　it　painful　to　take　too　deep　a　breath。
　After　a　time；　though；　I　drew　the　second　pillow　to　me；　held　it　across　my　knees　and　let　it　slip　out　of　its　case。
　I　wanted　the　pillowslip　to　wave　at　a　passing　motorist；　for　my　garments；　as　usual；　were　dark。　Before　I　could　draw　it　through　my　belt；　though；　I　was　confounded　by　the　behavior　of　the　pillow　itself。　It　had　not　yet　reached　the　floor。　I　had　released　it；　nothing　was　supporting　it；　and　it　was　moving。　But　it　was　moving　quite　slowly；　descending　with　a　dreamlike　deliberation。
　I　thought　of　the　fall　of　the　key　as　I　had　dropped　it　outside　my　room。　I　thought　of　my　unintended　quickness　on　mounting　the　stair　with　Random。　I　thought　of　Fiona's　words　and　of　the　Jewel　of　Judgment；　which　still　hung　about　my　neck　now　pulsating　in　time　with　the　throbbing　of　my　side。　It　might　have　saved　my　life；　at　least　for　the　moment；　yes；　it　probably　had；　if　Fiona's　notions　were　correct。　It　had　probably　given　me　a　moment　or　so　more　than　would　otherwise　have　been　my　due　when　the　assailant　struck；　letting　me　turn；　letting　me　swing　my　arm。　It　might；　somehow；　even　have　been　responsible　for　my　sudden　transportation。　But　I　would　have　to　think　about　such　things　at　another　time；　should　I　succeed　in　maintaining　a　meaningful　relationship　with　the　future。　For　now；　the　jewel　had　to　go　…　in　case　Fiona's　fears　concerning　it　were　also　correct　…　and　I　had　to　get　moving。
　I　tucked　away　the　second　pillow　cover；　then　tried　to　stand；　holding　on　to　the　footboard。　No　good！　Dizziness　and　too　much　pain。　I　lowered　myself　to　the　floor；　afraid　of　passing　out　on　the　way　down。　I　made　it。　I　rested。　Then　I　began　to　move；　a　slow　crawl。
　The　front　door；　as　I　recalled；　was　now　nailed　shut。　All　right。　Out　the　back；　then。
　I　made　it　to　the　bedroom　and　halted；　leaning　against　its　frame。　As　I　rested　there　I　removed　the　Jewel　of　Judgment　from　my　neck　and　wrapped　its　chain　about　my　wrist。　I　had　to　cache　it　someplace；　and　the　safe　in　my　study　was　too　far　out　of　the　way。　Besides；　I　believed　that　I　was　leaving　a　trail　of　blood。　Anyone　finding　and　following　it　might　well　be　curious　enough　to　investigate　and　spring　the　small　thing。　And　I　lacked　the　time　and　the　energy。。。
　I　made　my　way　out；　around；　and　through。　I　had　to　rise　and　exert　myself　to　get　the　back　door　open。　I　made　the　mistake　of　not　resting　first。
　When　I　regained　consciousness；　I　was　lying　across　the　threshold。　The　night　was　raw　and　clouds　filled　much　of　the　sky。　A　mean　wind　rattled　branches　above　the　patio。　I　felt　several　drops　of　moisture　on　the　back　of　my　outflung　hand。
　I　pushed　up　and　crawled　out。　The　snow　was　about　two　inches　deep。　The　icy　air　helped　to　revive　me。　With　something　near　panic；　I　realized　just　how　foggy　my　mind　had　been　during　much　of　my　course　from　the　bedroom。　It　was　possible　that　I　might　go　under　at　any　time。
　I　started　immediately　for　the　far　corner　of　the　house；　deviating　only　to　reach　the　post　heap；　tear　my　way　into　it；　drop　the　jewel；　and　reposition　the　clump　of　dead　grasses　I　had　broken　loose。　I　brushed　snow　over　it　and　continued　on。
　Once　I　made　it　about　the　corner；　I　was　shielded　from　the　wind　and　headed　down　a　slight　incline。　I　reached　the　front　of　the　house　and　rested　once　more。　A　car　had　just　passed　and　I　watched　its　taillights　dwindle。　It　was　the　only　vehicle　in　sight。
　Icy　crystals　stung　my　face　as　I　moved　again。　My　knees　were　wet　and　burning　cold。　The　front　yard　sloped；　gently　at　first；　then　dropped　sharply　toward　the　road。　There　was　a　dip　about　a　hundred　yards　to　the　right；　where　motorists　generally　hit　their　brakes。　It　seemed　that　this　might　give　me　a　few　moments　more　in　the　headlights　of　anyone　ing　from　that　direction…one　of　those　small　assurances　the　mind　always　seeks　when　things　get　serious；　an　aspirin　for　the　emotions。　With　three　rest　stops；　I　made　it　down　to　the　roadside；　then　over　to　the　big　rock　that　bore　my　house　number。　I　sat　on　it　and　leaned　back　against　the　icy　embankment。　I　hauled　out　the　second　pillow　case　and　draped　it　across　my　knees。
　I　waited。　I　knew　that　my　mind　was　fuzzy。　I　believe　that　I　drifted　into　and　out　of　consciousness　a　number　of　times。　Whenever　I　caught　myself　at　it；　I　attempted　to　impose　some　version　of　order　on　my　thoughts；　to　assess　what　had　happened　in　the　light　of　everything　else　that　had　just　happened；　to　seek　other　safety　measures。　The　former　effort　proved　too　much；　however。　It　was　simply　too　difficult　to　think　beyond　the　level　of　responding　to　circumstance。　With　a　sort　of　numb　enlightenment；　though；　it　occurred　to　me　that　I　was　still　in　possession　of　my　Trumps。　I　could　contact　someone　in　Amber；　have　him　transport　me　back。
　But　who？　I　was　not　so　far　gone　that　I　failed　to　realize　I　might　be　contacting　the　one　responsible　for　my　condition。　Would　it　be　better　to　gamble　that　way；　or　to　take　my　chances　here？　Still；　Random　or　Gerard　…　
　I　thought　that　I　heard　a　car。　Faint；　distant。。。　The　wind　and　my　pulsebeat　were　peting　with　perception；　though。　I　turned　my　head。　I　concentrated。
　There。。。　Again。　Yes。　It　was　an　engine。　I　got　ready　to　wave　the　cloth。
　Even　then；　my　mind　kept　straying。　And　one　thought　that　flitted　through　was　that　I　might　already　be　unable　to　muster　sufficient　concentration　to　manipulate　the　Trumps。
　The　sound　grew　louder。　I　raised　the　cloth。　Moments　later；　the　farthest　visible　point　along　the　road　to　my　right　was　touched　with　light。　Shortly　after；　I　saw　the　car　at　the　top　of　the　rise。　I　lost　sight　of　it　once　more　as　it　descended　the　hill。　Then　it　climbed　again　and　came　on；　snowflakes　flashing　through　its　headbeams。
　I　began　waving　as　it　approached　the　dip。　The　lights　caught　me　as　it　came　up　out　of　it；　and　the　driver　could　not　have　missed　seeing　me。　He　went　by；　though；　a　man　in　a　late　model　sedan；　a　woman　in　the　passenger　seat。　The　woman　turned　and　looked　at　me；　but　the　driver　did　not　even　slow　down。
　A　couple　of　minutes　later　another　car　came　by；　a　bit　older；　a　woman　driving；　no　visible　passengers。　It　did　slow　down；　but　only　for　a　moment。　She　must　not　have　liked　my　looks。　She　stepped　on　the　gas　and　was　gone　in　an　instant。
　I　sagged　back　and　rested。　A　prince　of　Amber　can　hardly　invoke　the　brotherhood　of　man　for　purposes　of　moral　condemnation。　At　least　not　with　a　straight　face；　and　it　hurt　too　much　to　laugh　just　then。
　Without　strength；　concentration；　and　some　ability　to　move；　my　power　over　Shadow　was　useless。　I　would　use　it　first；　I　decided；　to　get　to　some　warm　place。。。　I　wondered　whether　I　could　make　it　back　up　the　hill；　to　the　post　heap。　I　had　not　thought　of　trying　to　use　the　jewel　to　alter　the　weather。　Probably　I　was　too　weak　for　that　too；　though。　Probably　the　effort　would　kill　me。　Still。。。
　I　shook　my　head。　I　was　drifting　off；　more　than　half　a　dream。　I　had　to　stay　awake。　Was　that　another　car？　Maybe。　I　tried　to　raise　the　cloth　and　dropped　it。　When　I　leaned　forward　to　retrieve　it；　I　just　had　to　rest　my　head　on　my　knees　for　a　moment。　Deirdre。。。　I　would　call　my　dear　sister。　If　anyone　would　help　me；　Deirdre　would。　I　would　get　out　her　Trump　and　call　her。　In　a　minute。　If　only　she　weren't　my　sister。。。　I　had　to　rest。　I　am　a　knave；　not　a　fool。　Perhaps；　sometimes；　when　I　rest；　I　am　even　sorry　for　things。　Some　things。　If　only　it　were　warmer。。。　But　it　wasn't　too　bad；　bent　over　this　way。。。　Was　that　a　car？　I　wanted　to　raise　my　head　but　found　that　I　could　not。　It　would　not　make　that　much　difference　in　being　seen；　though；　I　decided。
　I　felt　light　on　my　eyelids　and　I　heard　the　engine。　Now　it　was　neither　advancing　nor　retreating。　Just　a　steady　cycling　of　growls。　Then　I　heard　a　shout。　Then　the　click…pause…chunk　of　a　car　door　opening　and　closing。　I　felt　that　I　could　open　my　eyes　but　I　did　not　want　to。　I　was　afraid　that　I　would　look　only　on　the