el.the miko-第27部分

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　He　laughed。　〃I'm　a　maverick　in　every　way。〃
　She　watched　him　for　a　time。　He　was　fairly　young；　perhaps　just　forty。　His　hair　was　thick　and　long　enough　to　reach　his　collar。　Streaked　blond；　brushed　straight　back；　it　could　just　as　easily　belong　to　a　surfer　from　Redondo　Beach。　He　had　a　good　hard　face　with　the　hint　of　crow's　feet　at　the　corners　of　his　intelligent；　wide　set　blue…green　eyes。　He　had　the　kind　of　nose　that　made　you　think　of　Mercedes；　pink　gins；　and　polo　along　the　carefully　manicured　greensward　of　the　Connecticut　shore。　He　should　have　had　a　cable…knit　sweater　spread　on　his　back。　But　his　manner　belied　all　that。
　〃I　can　see　the　wheels　turning　in　there；〃　he　said　as　they　were　served　the　first　course　of　fresh　bluepoint　oysters。　He　grinned　again；　a　sunny；　somehow　reassuring　expression　that　showed　good　white　teeth。　〃I　wasn't　born　into　money。　I　worked　hard　to　get　where　I　am　today。〃
　But　she　found　that　she　had　little　appetite；　because　she　knew　that　she　was　going　to　take　him　up　on　his　offer。　Dreams　like　this　one　rarely　came　along　in　life。　Though　the　idea　turned　her　edgy；　she　had　learned　early　to　grab　them　before　they　slipped　irretrievably　by。
　In　fact；　she　had　been　so　keyed　up　about　the　job　that　she　had　asked　Rick　if　she　could　start　on　the　following　day。　Friday；　instead　of　waiting　through　the　weekend。　With　Nicholas　just　gone　she　had　had　no　plans；　and　three　idle　days；　waiting；　was　too　much　for　her　patience。　So　it　was　that　she　had　shown　up　just　past　eight…a　full　hour　before　she　had　to…at　Madison　Avenue　and　Fifty…fourth　Street。　The　offices　of　Millar；　Soames　&　Robberts　were　three　glittering　twenty…first…century　floors　of　the　sleekest　furnishings　money　could　buy；　with　floor…to…ceiling　windows　in　every　executive　office；　and　mechanical　and　production　departments　that　would　surely　make　her　work　a　snap…she　had　been　so　used　to　doing　everything　herself。　Now；　as　Rick　had　said　to　her　over　lunch；　she　could　concentrate　on　ideas；　allowing　others　to　plete　her　sketches。
　Rick　himself　introduced　Justine　to　Min；　her　secretary。　She　was　no　more　than　twenty　and；　with　the　patch　of　green　in　her　dark　hail；　seemed　to　be　the　agency's　concession　to　the　post…punk　era。　But　Justine　soon　found　out　that　beneath　the　wild　hair　was　a　sharp　brain　that　understood　all　the　convoluted　workings　of　the　organization。
　Justine's　office　was　a　floor　below　Mary　Kate's　and；　because　Mary　Kate　was　a　vice　president；　it　was　somewhat　smaller　than　her　friend's。　But　it　was　light　and　airy。　A　fresh…looking　coleus　with　a　pink　satin　GOOD　LUCK　ribbon　tacked　to　it　sat　on　a　desk　otherwise　empty　save　for　a　phone。　The　office　was　sparsely　furnished　with；　it　seemed；　an　agglomeration　of　cast…offs。
　Rick　apologized　for　the　state　of　the　office；　saying　that　the　pany　was　in　the　midst　of　reorganizing　departments　and　that　Min　would　bring　her　a　stack　of　furnishing　and　accessory　catalogs　〃so　that　things　can　get　straightened　out　in　a　couple　of　weeks。〃
　She　thanked　Rick　for　the　plant　and；　putting　it　beside　the　window；　sat　behind　her　new　desk。　Her　first　call　was　to　Nicholas；　in　her　excitement　forgetting　that　it　was　the　middle　of　the　night　in　Tokyo。　The　hotel　balked　at　putting　the　call　through；　the　officious　operator　asking　if　it　was　an　emergency。　When　she　explained　to　her　what　the　local　time　was；　Justine　settled　for　leaving　a　message；　not　knowing　of　course　that　he　was　out　wandering　through　Jan　Jan。
　But　as　she　cradled　the　receiver；　she　experienced　a　sharp　pang　of　sadness。　She　had　never　felt　more　acutely　Nicholas'　absence　or　her　desire　for　him　to　return。　She　had　fought　with　desperation　the　fear　and　anxiety　welling　up　inside　her　when　he　had　told　her　he　was　going　to　work　for　her　father。　Were　her　feelings　irrational　or　real？　When　it　came　to　her　father；　she　knew　that　she　felt　trapped　by　her　emotions。　The　shape　of　her　life　had　been　dictated　by　Raphael　Tomkin。　As　a　woman　in　her　twenties；　she　had　had　love　affairs　abruptly　severed　without　her　knowing；　as　a　teenager；　she　had　seen　the　devastation　his　harshness　and　self…involvement　had　wreaked　on　her　mother；　as　a　child；　she　had　been　rendered　fatherless　by　his　business　affairs。
　Even　though　Nicholas'　new　job　was　temporary；　she　had　been　terrified　that　it　would　turn　out　to　be　a　permanent　position。　She　knew　only　too　well　how　persuasive　her　father　could　be　when　he　set　his　mind　to　it。　She　had　been　terrified　too　of　his　going　away。　So　soon　after　the　terrible　nightmare　with　Saigo；　who　through　Justine　herself　had　almost　succeeded　in　killing　Nicholas；　she　felt　that　being　alone　was　a　kind　of　exquisite　agony。
　She　knew　that　whatever　it　was　Saigo　had　done　to　her　had　scarred　her　for　life；　despite　all　Nicholas'　efforts　to　exorcise　that　particular　devil　from　her。　True；　she　was　free　from　Saigo's　arcane　grip　over　her；　but　she　could　never　be　free　of　the　memories。
　In　the　deepest　shoals　of　night；　when　Nicholas　lay　peacefully　sleeping　beside　her；　she　would　awake　with　a　shivery　start；　into　a　nightmare。
　I　almost　murdered　him；　she　found　herself　repeating　to　herself　as　if　there　were　a　stranger　alive　inside　her　body　to　whom　she　must　make　sense　of　this。　How　could　I？　Another　repeating　riff；　an　agonizing　counterpoint。　I'm　not　even　capable　of　killing　a　fish；　let　alone　another　human　being；　my　own　love。
　That；　of　course；　might　have　been　her　salvation：　the　conviction　that　she　could　not　kill　and　therefore　was　not　responsible。　But　the　nightmare　continued　to　stalk　her。　Had　not　Nicholas　stopped　her；　she　would　most　assuredly　have　killed　him。　Just　as　Saigo　had　programmed　her　to。　She　was　not　concerned　with　responsibility。　Only　with　a　guilt　greater　than　any　she　had　ever　known。
　But；　oh；　she　ached　for　him　even　as　she　feared　for　him　every　moment　he　was　in　Japan；　every　moment　he　was　with　her　father。　For　she　knew　intimately　all　the　myriad　ways　Raphael　Tomkin　had　of　getting　what　he　wanted。　He　could　be　bullheaded　or　subtle；　as　the　occasion　warranted。　He　could　get　you　even　when　you　were　certain　he　wouldn't。
　She　shuddered　now　within　the　confines　of　her　new　office。　Oh；　Nicholas；　she　thought。　If　only　I　had　…been　able　to　make　you　see　what　he's　like。　I　don't　want　him　to　steal　you　away　from　me。
　Because　the　thought　of　Nicholas　permanently　wedded　to　Tomkin　Industries　was　more　than　she　could　bear。　She　wanted　her　father　out　of　her　life；　had　struggled　all　through　her　formative　years　for　just　such　an　objective；　even　going　so　far　as　to　change　her　last　name　to　Tobin。　And　she　knew　that　if　there　was　a　chance　that　he　would　e　back　into　her　life　she　would　move　heaven　and　earth　to　prevent　it。
　Angry　now　as　well　as　lonely；　she　dialed　Mary　Kate's　extension。　If　Nicholas　had　phoned　at　this　moment；　she　would　have　spat　at　him　for　putting　her　in　such　an　impossible　position；　for　making　her　fear　for　him　and　them　both。
　Justine　was　told　that　her　friend　was　in　a　meeting；　so　again　she　left　a　message；　hoping　they　could　have　lunch　and　celebrate。　Then　she　asked　Min　to　e　in。　Together　they　began　working　out　logistics；　departmental　and　otherwise；　so　that　Justine　could　get　on　with　her　first　projects　for　Millar；　Soames　&　Robberts。　*　*　*
　It　took　all　of　Nicholas'　training　to　cover　his　true　feelings。　The　shock　had　been　so　great；　so　totally　unexpected　that　he　had　taken　that　one　lurching　step　backward；　losing　for　an　instant　his　centrism；　exhibiting　a　certain　paleness　of　plexion；　a　momentary　flaring　of　the　nostrils　as　animal　instinct　threatened　ascendancy；　he　was　certain　no　one　had　noticed。　His　face　closed　down　like　a　steel　trap　as　the　soft　mix　of　voices　from　all　around　him　faded。。。。
　And　he　was　back　in　New　York；　his　long　dai…katana　drawn；　its　gleaming　blade　arching　away　toward　Saigo。　He　took　a　step　forward　and　his　cousin　said；　〃You　believe　that　Yukio　is　alive；　somewhere；　and　thinking　every　so　often　of　the　old　days　with　you。　But；　oh　no；　this　is　not　so！〃　He　laughed　as　they　continued　to　circle　each　other　with　murderous　intent。　He　looked　into　Nicholas'　eyes　as　he　said；　〃She　lies　at　the　bottom　of　the　Straits　of　Shimonoseki；　cousin；　precisely　where　I　dumped　her。
　〃She　loved　you；　you　know。　With　every　breath　she　breathed；　with　every　word　she　spoke。　And　at　last　it　drove　me　out　of　my　mind。　She　was　the　only　woman　for　me。。。　without　her　there　were　only　men。〃　His　eyes　blazed　like　coals；　red…rimmed　and　mad。　He　was　bleeding　heavily。
　〃You　made　me　kill　her；　Nicholas！〃　he　blurted　out　in　sudden　accusation。
　For　months　Nicholas　had　lived　with　that　pain；　a　black　cyst　of　torment　he　rarely　let　out　into　the　light　of　day。　And　now　to　see。。。　It　was　not　as　if　Akiko　Ofuda　looked　like　Yukio：　a　family　resemblance；　a　sister　even。　Her　face　was　Yukio's。　And　as　for　her　figure；　well；　certainly　there　were　differences。　But　Nicholas　had　last　seen　Yukio　in　the　winter　of　1963　on　that　long；　terrible　journey　south　to　Kumamoto　and　Saigo。　And　when　he　had　returned　at　last　to　Tokyo；　alone　and　confused；　everything　had　changed。　Satsugai；　Saigo's　father；　had　been　murdered。　Then　the　Colonel；　Nicholas'　father；　died。　Shortly　thereafter；　Cheong；　his　mother；　had　mitted　seppuku　with　her　sister…in…law；　Itami；　as　second。
　Now；　staring　hard　at　Akiko　Ofuda；　Nicholas　wondered　wildly　whether　Saigo　had　lied　that　one　last　time。　Was　it　possible？　He　was　a　master　of　twisted　truths。　He　had　been　dying　when　he　told　Nicholas。　What　would　that　have　made　him　do？　Lie　or　tell　the　truth　at　last？　Whatever　would　hurt　Nicholas　the　most。　Truth　or　fiction？　Nicholas　could　not　tell。
　Yet　how　Akiko　had　stared　at　him　from　the　moment　he　was　close　enough　for　her　to　see　him。　Though　there　were　more　than　a　hundred　people　at　the　affair；　her　eyes　had　locked　on　his。　She　had　created　the　aura　of　mystery；　hiding　her　face　until　he　was　quite　close。　She　had　used　her　fan　deliberately。　Why？　If　she　were　not　Yukio；　why　would　she　have　any　interest　in　him？　And　yet　to　turn　up　here　as　Sato's　soon…to…be…wife。。。　The　wild　coincidence　did　not　escape　him。　Nicholas；　quite　rightly；　did　not　trust　in　coincidences　as　a　force　of　nature。
　All　through　the　ceremony；　as　the　traditional　sake　cup　was　being　passed　from　Sato　to　Akiko；　Nicholas'　mind　was　preoccupied　by　the　bizarre　puzzle。　But　the　more　he　thought；　the　more　he　seemed　to　bee　entangled　in　a　mare's　nest　of　questions　without　answers。　It　was　clear　to　him　that　he　would　get　nowhere　until　he　could　speak　to　Akiko　herself。　And　yet　his　mind　would　not　stop　turning　over　the　possibilities：　was　she