cspector.worldwithoutend-第16部分

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　And　so　we　stood　there；　in　that　bare　and　barren　place；　divided　by　worlds　and　walls　and　the　past　that　could　never　be　undone。
　
　She　floats　in　a　warm　embrace。　Hands　touch　her。　Stroke　her。　Caress　her　until　she　trembles。　Opening　her　eyes；　she　sees　a　faceless　man。　This　doesn't　frighten　her…it's　what　she　wants。　To　fall　into　the　fort　of　anonymity。
　
　Safe　and　nameless。
　
　
　
　〃How　are　you　going　to　contact　Thais？〃　Caimbeui　asked。
　〃A　summoning；〃　I　said。　〃His　nature　is　such　that　he　won't　be　able　to　resist。　I　wish　it　hadn't　e　to　this；　but　we　haven't　spoken　in　so　many　years。　Since　that　terrible　time　after　Wounded　Knee。〃
　〃Why　didn't　you　just　call　him　up　while　we　were　in　Tir　na　nog？〃
　〃Too　many　enemies　there；〃　I　said。　〃And　Ala…chin　doesn't　know　about　Thais。　At　least　not　as　far　as　I　know。'I　would　keep　it　that　way。　There　are　some　things　she　should　never　know。　And　I　want　him　to　be　on　my　ground。　Not　his；　not　someone　else's。〃
　
　A　wave　of　exhaustion　swept　over　me。　Suddenly；　I　wanted　nothing　more　than　to　go　and　sleep　for　the　rest　of　my　natural　life。　But　I　didn't　have　that　choice。　There　was　too　much　at　stake。　I　got　up　and　walked　back　into　the　house。
　
　Caimbeui　drew　the　drapes　as　I　turned　off　all　but　one　light。　Though　it　made　little　difference　to　my　casting；　I　preferred　less　light。　That　way　I　could　con…centrale　on　what　was　happening　with　the　spell　rather　than　my　surroundings。
　
　〃This　would　be　a　lot　simpler　if　you　let　me　help；〃　said　Caimbeui。
　
　The　edges　of　the　room　faded　back　into　shadows。　The　few　pieces　of　furniture　still　covered　in　sheets　looked　ghostly　against　the　far　walls。　The　night　noises　were　muffled　by　the　drapes。　Occasionally；　I　could　still　hear　the　drone　of　a　low…flying　Lone　Star　Security　chopper。
　
　〃Are　you　ready？〃　I　asked。　I　wasn't　sure　which　of　us　I　was　asking。
　
　Caimbeui　nodded　and　stepped　back　into　the　shadows。　I　knew　if　anything　untoward　happened；　he　would　take　care　of　me。
　
　Taking　a　deep　breath　and　closing　my　eyes；　I　let　myself　relax　and　block　everything　out　but　the　spell　I　was　about　to　perform。
　
　I　saw　Thais　in　my　mind。　As　he　was　when　he　was　born；　then　later　when　I　finally　met　him　again。　Grown　up　and　changed　into　something　so　like　me；　and　so　like　his　father；　that　I　wept　until　he　made　me　stop　with　his　voice　and　eyes。
　
　That　was　Thais's　gift；　after　all。
　
　As　I　pictured　him　in　my　mind；　I　let　myself　slip　into　astral　space。　There　was　the　usual　nauseating　tug　as　1　slipped　between　the　veils。　The　ribbons　flowed　around　me　and　into　me　until　I　couldn't　tell　the　difference　between　them　and　myself。　I　was　filled　with　the　power。　Exhilarating　and　fierce。　This　was　what　I　was　bom　to。　I　never　doubted　myself　here。　Here　I　knew　who　and　what　I　was。
　
　The　veils　parted　as　I　remembered　my　task。　I　reached　out　my　will；　calling　Thais　to　me。　manding　him　to　e　to　my　summons。
　
　Time　passed　interminably　slow。　Then　sped　to　light。
　
　I　float　then　fall。
　
　The　universe　is　around　me。　Inside　me。　I　am　the　universe：　waiting　and　watching。
　
　Across　worlds　I　e。　Through　the　blazing　heat　of　a　thousand　suns。　From　the　Void。　Into　the　darkness。
　
　From　the　darkness；　I　pull　light。
　
　My　child。
　
　Some　things　you　cannot　resist。　The　bond　between　a　mother　and　child。
　
　The　brilliance　of　Thais　blinds　me　as　I　pull　him　closer　and　closer。
　
　e　to　me；　child。
　
　And　he　cannot　refuse。
　
　Then　we　are　falling。　Falling　through　space　and　time。　Back　to　earth。
　
　〃What　do　you　want？〃
　
　Thais　was　standing　in　the　center　of　the　room。　A　circle　of　blue　energy　surrounded　him。　I　waved　it　away　and　he　relaxed　visibly。
　
　〃Was　that　really　necessary？〃　he　asked。
　〃Would　you　have　e　if　I　asked？〃
　
　He　shook　his　head。　〃You　abandoned　me　long　ago。　Why　should　I　do　you　any　favors　now？〃
　
　I　had　hoped　that　old　hurt　had　passed。　But　no；　I　was　not　to　be　forgiven　any　of　my　sins。　Thais　was　still　a　child　in　so　many　ways。　I　had　protected　him　too　well。
　
　〃Very　well；　Thais；　consider　it　a　demand　then；〃　I　said　wearily。　〃I　haven't　the　energy　to　fight　with　you　about　this　now。　There　are　other；　more　important；　matters　at　hand。〃
　
　Thais　slid　along　the　floor　and　pulled　himself　up　onto　the　couch　with　his　powerful　arms。　His　thick；　snake…like　tail　wrapped　around　his　torso　once；　then　hung　down　off　the　edge　of　his　seat　onto　the　floor。
　
　〃What　does　the　Great　and　Powerful　Aina　want　of　me　today？　Perhaps　I　should　go　to　the　Wicked　Witch　of　the　West　and　retrieve　her　broom。　Maybe　I'll　throw　water　on　her　and　watch　as　she　melts　into　brown　sugar。　Or　there　is　always　popping　down　a　rabbit　hole。。。　Which　will　it　be？〃
　
　〃Mind　your　manners；　junior；〃　said　Caimbeul。　〃That's　your　mother　you're　addressing。〃
　
　Both　Thais　and　I　turned　toward　him；　openmouthed。　He　shrugged。
　
　〃I　think　you've　coddled　him；　Aina；〃　said　Caimbeul。　〃You've　always　protected　him　from。。。　the　world。〃
　〃Coddled？〃　Thais　said。　〃You　call　being　bom　a　monster　coddled？　Look　at　me。　Why　did　she　make　me？　It　was　her　selfishness。。。〃
　〃Oh；　grow　up；〃　snapped　Caimbeul。　〃This　isn't　about　you。。。。〃
　〃Thank　you；〃　I　interjected。　〃But　why　don't　you　let　me　get　on　with　it？〃
　〃Very　well；　but…〃
　
　I　held　my　hand　up　and　Caimbeul　fell　silent。　A　tight　expression　set　on　his　face　and　I　knew　he　was　angry。　It　made　me　feel　very　warm　inside。
　
　I　turned　to　Thais。
　
　〃Ysrthgrathe　is　back；〃　I　said。
　
　Thais　didn't　say　anything。
　
　〃Has　he　contacted　you？〃　I　asked。
　〃Why　would　I　tell　you　if　he　had？〃　he　asked。
　〃Thais；　he's　a　liar。　He　spreads　his　misery　that　way。　I　know　you　want　to　believe。。。　only　the　best。〃
　〃You　don't　know　what　I　want；〃　Thais　said。　〃Why　should　I　trust　you　more　than　him？〃
　〃You　know　what　he　is；〃　I　said。　〃I've　never　kept　that　from　you。　There　is　more　at　stake　here　than　your　grudge　against　me。　If　he　is　back；　then　the　world　is　at　risk。〃
　Thais　rolled　his　eyes。
　〃It's　always　so　dramatic　with　you；　Mother；〃　he　said。　His　voice　was　that　of　a　smirky；　sarcastic　fifteen…year…old。　〃How　is　it　that　you're　always　on　hand　to　save　the　country；　the　planet；　the　universe？　Don't　you　ever　get　tired？〃
　〃Yes；　Thais；　I　get　very　tired。　I　am　intensely　weary　right　now。〃
　
　His　tail　twitched　and　tapped　against　the　floor。　The　scales　that　covered　his　skin　were　iridescent　and　gleamed　in　the　low　light。　I　wondered　what　happened　when　he　had　to　shed　his　skin。　So　many　little　details　about　his　life　I　didn't　know。
　
　〃Very　well；〃　Thais　said。　〃I'll　tell　you。　He　is　here；　on　this　plane。　He　contacted　me　a　few　days　ago。　But　he　didn't　e　to　me　in　person…I　had　a　dream。　It　was　so　vivid；　unlike　any　other　dream　I've　ever　had。
　
　〃He　explained。。。　everything。　He　told　me　why　you　hated　him。　Told　me　the　truth。〃
　
　Caimbeui　made　an　ugly　noise　and　I　looked　over　at　him。　A　frown　pulled　at　his　mouth　and　he　gave　me　a　Why…the…frag…don't…you…just…shut…the…little…wackweed…up？　look。　I　doubted　he'd　ever　had　children。　I　couldn't　expect　him　to　understand。
　
　Thais　had　uncoiled　himself　from　the　couch　and　was　slithering　along　the　floor　to　the　doors　leading　outside。
　
　〃Where　are　you　going？〃　I　asked。
　〃Outside　for　some　fresh　air；〃　he　replied。
　
　I　followed　him。　The　temperature　had　dropped　more　than　I　expected。　I　rubbed　my　arms　as　gooseflesh　broke　out。　We　stayed　there　for　a　long　time；　wrapped　in　night　sounds。
　
　〃Thais；〃　I　said　at　last。　〃I　know　I've　been　a　disappointment　to　you。　All　those　years　apart；　then　later；　when　things　turned　bad　for　all　of　us。　But。。。〃
　
　〃Shut　up；〃　he　said；　turning　violently　toward　me。　〃Just　stop　talking。　How　do　you　think　I　felt　when　he　came　to　me？　How　could　I　deny　him？　You've　cursed　me　with　him。〃
　
　He　began　to　weep　then。　Terrible　wracking　sobs　that　shook　his　frame。　I　wanted　to　go　and　embrace　him；　but　I　was　afraid　to。　Afraid　that　he　would　reject　me　again。　Oh；　what　agony　it　was　to　hear　him　in　pain。　I　wondered　how　Caimbeui　could　resist　the　sound　of　it；　for　it　tore　me　inside。　Like　I'd　swallowed　glass。
　
　I　forced　myself　to　wait　and　watch　until　his　tears　began　to　dry　and　he　seemed　more　in　control　of　himself。
　
　〃Thais；〃　I　said。　〃I　am　so　sorry。　I　never　wanted　you　to　have　to　face　this。　I　tried　to　protect　you。〃
　〃I　know；〃　he　said。　His　voice　was　shaky　and　rough。　〃But　you　haven't　been　very　good　at　that。　Have　you？〃
　
　And　how　could　I　answer　that？　But　I　suspect　he　didn't　mean　me　to。
　
　I　don't　know　how　long　we　stood　there　in　the　chilling　night　air。　The　stars　frosted　the　sky　in　diamond…hard　brightness。　Then；　later；　I　noticed　that　the　black　sky　was　turning　purple…gray。
　
　〃What　did　he　say？〃　I　asked　at　last。　I　felt　drained　and　exhausted。　So　empty　that　it　didn't　matter　what　he　told　me。
　
　〃He　said　you　would　e　for　me。　He　told　me　that　you　would　try　to　stop　him　and　it　would　do　you　no　good。〃　Thais's　voice　sounded　weary。　I　wondered　how　I　could　help　him；　but　then　I　realized　there　was　nothing　I　could　do　for　him　now。　That　there　are　some　things　a　parent　cannot　do　for　her　child。
　
　〃Did　he　tell　you　if　there　were　any　other　of　the　Enemy　here？〃　I　asked。
　〃No；〃　Thais　said。　〃But　I　didn't　sense　any　others。　I　have　always　been　sensitive　to　that　sort　of　thing。　
　Your　friend；〃　he　said；　giving　a　jerk　of　his　head　toward　the　house。　〃He　managed　to　stop　something　from　happening　a　while　ago。　But　the　world　has　more　than　one　point　of　entry。　They　are　there　waiting。　Waiting　for　the　moment　when　they　can　return。〃
　
　〃Did　he　say　anything　else？〃　I　asked。　〃Anything　at　all　might　be　important。〃
　〃Only　that　he's　been　waiting　for　you　to　e　to　him。〃
　
　The　sky　was　light　now；　moon　hanging　low　against　the　horizon；　looking　strange　and　out　of　place　so　near　the　sunrise。　We　stood　there　in　silence　as　the　night　fled　from　the　day。
　
　Aina　sits　before　an　old　woman　who　has　black　witchy…hair　and　who　wears　gypsy　colors。　The　air　here　is　thick　with　incense　and　patchouli。
　
　〃Cut　the　cards；〃　the　woman　says。　Aina　does　so；　feeling　the　coolness　of　the　deck　beneath　her　fingers。
　The　reading　begins。
　The　cards　lie　face　down…hidden　and　hiding　their　meanings。　The　first　is　turned　up。　The　old　woman　gasps。
　The　Devil。
　In　a　moment；　he's　crossed　by　the　Moon　and　crowned　by　the　Tower。
　Aina　shoves　away　from　the　table；　unwilling　to　see　what　es　next。
　〃But　you　don't　know　how　it　ends；　〃　the　old　woman　says。
　〃Why　should　I　want　to　kn