ss.iftomorrowcomes-第17部分

按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！


ose…colored　housecoat　appeared　in　the　doorway。
　
　She　said；　〃Good　morning。〃
　
　〃Good　morning。〃
　
　The　woman　started　to　sit；　changed　her　mind；　and　stood。　Sue　Ellen　Brannigan　was　a　pleasant…faced　blonde　in　her　middle　thirties；　with　a　vague；　distracted　manner。　She　was　thin　and　hyper；　never　quite　sure　how　to　treat　the　convict　servants。　Should　she　thank　them　for　doing　their　jobs；　or　just　give　them　orders？　Should　she　be　friendly；　or　treat　them　like　prisoners？　Sue　Ellen　still　had　not　gotten　used　to　the　idea　of　living　in　the　midst　of　drug　addicts　and　thieves　and　killers。
　
　〃I'm　Mrs。　Brannigan；〃　she　rattled　on。　〃Amy　is　almost　five　years　old；　and　you　know　how　active　they　are　at　that　age。　I'm　afraid　she　has　to　be　watched　all　the　time。〃　She　glanced　at　Tracy's　left　hand。　There　was　no　wedding　ring　there；　but　these　days；　of　course；　that　meant　nothing。　Particularly　with　the　lower　classes；　Sue　Ellen　thought。　She　paused　and　asked　delicately；　〃Do　you　have　children？〃
　
　Tracy　thought　of　her　unborn　baby。　〃No。〃
　
　〃I　see。〃　Sue　Ellen　was　confused　by　this　young　woman。　She　was　not　at　all　what　she　had　expected。　There　was　something　almost　elegant　about　her。　〃I'll　bring　Amy　in。〃　She　hurried　out　of　the　room。
　
　Tracy　looked　around。　It　was　a　fairly　large　cottage；　neat　and　attractively　furnished。　It　seemed　to　Tracy　that　it　had　been　years　since　she　had　been　in　anyone's　home。　That　was　all　part　of　the　other　world；　the　world　outside。
　
　Sue　Ellen　came　back　into　the　room　holding　the　hand　of　a　young　girl。　〃Amy；　this　is…〃　Did　one　call　a　prisoner　by　her　first　or　last　name？　She　promised。　〃This　is　Tracy　Whitney。〃
　
　〃Hi；〃　Amy　said。　She　had　her　mother's　thinness　and　deepset；　intelligent　hazel　eyes。　She　was　not　a　pretty　child；　but　there　was　an　open　friendliness　about　her　that　was　touching。
　
　I　won't　let　her　touch　me。
　
　〃Are　you　going　to　be　my　new　nanny？〃
　
　〃Well；　I'm　going　to　help　your　mother　look　after　you。〃
　
　〃Judy　went　out　on　parole；　did　you　know　that？　Are　you　going　out　on　parole；　too？〃
　
　No；　Tracy　thought。　She　said；　〃I'm　going　to　be　here　for　a　long　while；　Amy。〃
　
　〃That's　good；〃　Sue　Ellen　said　brightly。　She　colored　in　embarrassment　and　bit　her　lip。　〃I　mean…〃　She　whirled　around　the　kitchen　and　started　explaining　Tracy's　duties　to　her。　〃You'll　have　your　meals　with　Amy。　You　can　prepare　breakfast　for　her　and　play　with　her　in　the　morning。　The　cook　will　make　lunch　here。　After　lunch；　Amy　has　a　nap；　and　in　the　afternoon　she　likes　walking　around　the　grounds　of　the　farm。　I　think　it's　so　good　for　a　child　to　see　growing　things；　don't　you？〃
　
　〃Yes。〃
　
　The　farm　was　on　the　other　side　of　the　main　prison；　and　the　twenty　acres；　planted　with　vegetables　and　fruit　trees；　were　tended　by　trusties。　There　was　a　large　artificial　lake　used　for　irrigation；　surrounded　by　a　stone　wall　that　rose　above　it。
　
　**********
　
　The　next　five　days　were　almost　like　a　new　life　for　Tracy。　Under　different　circumstances；　she　would　have　enjoyed　getting　away　from　the　bleak　prison　walls；　free　to　walk　around　the　farm　and　breathe　the　fresh　country　air；　but　all　she　could　think　about　was　escaping。　When　she　was　not　on　duty　with　Amy；　she　was　required　to　report　back　to　the　prison。　Each　night　Tracy　was　locked　in　her　cell；　but　in　the　daytime　she　had　the　illusion　of　freedom。　After　breakfast　in　the　prison　kitchen；　she　walked　over　to　the　warden's　cottage　and　made　breakfast　for　Amy。　Tracy　had　learned　a　good　deal　about　cooking　from　Charles；　and　she　was　tempted　by　the　varieties　of　foodstuffs　on　the　warden's　shelves；　but　Amy　preferred　a　simple　breakfast　of　oatmeal　or　cereal　with　fruit。　Afterward；　Tracy　would　play　games　with　the　little　girl　or　read　to　her。　Without　thinking。　Tracy　began　teaching　Amy　the　games　her　mother　had　played　with　her。
　
　Amy　loved　puppets。　Tracy　tried　to　copy　Shari　Lewis's　Lamb　Chop　for　her　from　one　of　the　warden's　old　socks；　but　it　turned　out　looking　like　a　cross　between　a　fox　and　a　duck。　〃I　think　it's　beautiful；〃　Amy　said　loyally。
　
　Tracy　made　the　puppet　speak　with　different　accents：　French；　Italian；　German；　and　the　one　Amy　adored　the　most；　Paulita's　Mexican　lilt。　Tracy　would　watch　the　pleasure　oft　the　child's　face　and　think；　I　won't　bee　involved。　She's　just　my　means　of　getting　out　of　this　place。
　
　After　Amy's　afternoon　nap；　the　two　of　them　would　take　long　walks；　and　Tracy　saw　to　it　that　they　covered　areas　of　the　prison　grounds　she　had　not　seen　before。　She　carefully　observed　every　exit　and　entrance　and　how　the　guard　towers　were　manned　and　noted　when　the　shifts　changed。　It　became　obvious　to　her　that　none　of　the　escape　plans　she　had　discussed　with　Ernestine　would　work。
　
　〃Has　anyone　ever　tried　to　escape　by　hiding　in　one　of　the　service　trucks　that　deliver　things　to　the　prison？　I've　seen　milk　trucks　and　food…〃
　
　〃Forget　it；〃　Ernestine　said　flatly。　〃Every　vehicle　in'　in　and　goin'　out　of　the　gate　is　searched。〃
　
　**********
　
　At　breakfast　one　morning；　Amy　said；　〃I　love　you；　Tracy。　Will　you　be　my　mother？〃
　
　The　words　sent　a　pang　through　Tracy。　〃One　mother　is　enough。　You　don't　need　two。〃
　
　〃Yes；　I　do。　My　friend　Sally　Ann's　father　got　married　again；　and　Sally　Ann　has　two　mothers。〃
　
　〃You're　not　Sally　Ann；〃　Tracy　said　curtly。　〃Finish　your　breakfast。〃
　
　Amy　was　looking　at　her　with　hurt　eyes。　〃I'm　not　hungry　anymore。〃
　
　〃All　right。　I'll　read　to　you；　then。〃
　
　As　Tracy　started　to　read；　she　felt　Amy's　soft　little　hand　on　hers。
　
　〃Can　I　sit　on　your　lap？〃
　
　〃No。〃　Get　your　affection　from　your　own　family；　Tracy　thought。　You　don't　belong　to　me。　Nothing　belongs　to　me。
　
　**********
　
　The　easy　days　away　from　the　routine　of　the　prison　somehow　made　the　nights　worse。　Tracy　loathed　returning　to　her　cell；　hated　being　caged　in　like　an　animal。　She　was　still　unable　to　get　used　to　the　screams　that　came　from　nearby　cells　in　the　uncaring　darkness。　She　would　grit　her　teeth　until　her　jaws　ached。　One　night　at　a　time；　she　promised　herself。　I　can　stand　one　night　at　a　time。
　
　She　slept　little；　for　her　mind　was　busy　planning。　Step　one　was　to　escape。　Step　two　was　to　deal　with　Joe　Romano；　Perry　Pope；　Judge　Henry　Lawrence；　and　Anthony　Orsatti。　Step　three　was　Charles。　But　that　was　too　painful　even　to　think　about　yet。　I'll　handle　that　when　the　time　es；　she　told　herself。
　
　**********
　
　It　was　being　impossible　to　stay　out　of　the　way　of　Big　Bertha。　Tracy　was　sure　the　huge　Swede　was　having　her　spied　upon。　If　Tracy　went　to　the　recreation　room；　Big　Bertha　would　show　up　a　few　minutes　later；　and　when　Tracy　went　out　to　the　yard；　Big　Bertha　would　appear　shortly　afterward。
　
　One　day　Big　Bertha　walked　up　to　Tracy　and　said；　〃You're　looking　beautiful　today；　littbarn。　I　can't　wait　for　us　to　get　together。〃
　
　〃Stay　away　from　me；〃　Tracy　warned。
　
　The　amazon　grinned。　〃Or　what？　Your　black　bitch　is　gettin'　out。　I'm　arrangin'　to　have　you　transferred　to　my　cell。〃
　
　Tracy　stared　at　her。
　
　Big　Bertha　nodded。　〃I　can　do　it；　honey。　Believe　it。〃
　
　Tracy　knew　then　her　time　was　running　out。　She　had　to　escape　before　Ernestine　was　released。
　
　**********
　
　Amy's　favorite　walk　was　through　the　meadow；　rainbowed　with　colorful　wildflowers。　The　huge　artificial　lake　was　nearby；　surrounded　by　a　low　concrete　wall　with　a　long　drop　to　the　deep　water。
　
　〃Let's　go　swimming；〃　Amy　pleaded。　〃Please；　let's；　Tracy？〃
　
　〃It's　not　for　swimming；〃　Tracy　said。　〃They　use　the　water　for　irrigation。〃　The　sight　of　the　cold；　forbidding…looking　lake　made　her　shiver。
　
　Her　father　was　carrying　her　into　the　ocean　on　his　shoulders；　and　when　she　cried　out；　her　father　said；　Don't　be　a　baby；　Tracy；　and　he　dropped　her　into　the　cold　water；　and　when　the　water　closed　over　her　head　she　panicked　and　began　to　choke。。。。
　
　**********
　
　When　the　news　came；　it　was　a　shock；　even　though　Tracy　had　expected　it。
　
　〃I'm　gettin'　outta　here　a　week　from　Sattiday；〃　Ernestine　said。
　
　The　words　sent　a　cold　chill　through　Tracy。　She　had　not　told　Ernestine　about　her　conversation　with　Big　Bertha。　Ernestine　would　not　be　here　to　help　her。　Big　Bertha　probably　had　enough　influence　to　have　Tracy　transferred　to　her　cell。　The　only　way　Tracy　could　avoid　it　would　be　to　talk　to　the　warden；　and　she　knew　that　if　she　did　that；　she　was　as　good　as　dead。　Every　convict　in　the　prison　would　turn　on　her。　You　gotta　fight；　fuck；　or　hit　the　fence。　Well；　she　was　going　to　hit　the　fence。
　
　She　and　Ernestine　went　over　the　escape　possibilities　again。　None　of　them　was　satisfactory。
　
　〃You　ain't　got　no　car；　and　you　ain't　got　no　one　on　the　outside　to　he'p　you。　You're　gonna　get　caught；　sure　as　hell；　and　then　you'll　be　worse　off。　You'd　be　better　doin'　cool　time　and　flnishin'　out　your　gig。〃
　
　But　Tracy　knew　there　would　be　no　cool　time。　Not　with　Big　Bertha　after　her。　The　thought　of　what　the　giant　bull…dyke　had　in　mind　for　her　made　her　physically　ill。
　
　**********
　
　It　was　Saturday　morning；　seven　days　before　Ernestine's　release。　Sue　Ellen　Brannigan　had　taken　Amy　into　New　Orleans　for　the　weekend；　and　Tracy　was　at　work　in　the　prison　kitchen。
　
　〃How's　the　nursemaid　job　goin'？〃　Ernestine　asked。
　
　〃All　right。〃
　
　〃I　seen　that　little　girl。　She　seems　real　sweet。〃
　
　〃She's　okay。〃　Her　tone　was　indifferent。
　
　〃I'll　sure　be　glad　to　get　outta　here。　I'll　tell　you　one　thing；　I　ain't　never　in'　back　to　this　joint。　If　there's　anythin'　Al　or　me　kin　do　for　you　on　the　outside…〃
　
　〃ing　through；〃　a　male　voice　called　out。
　
　Tracy　turned。　A　laundryman　was　pushing　a　huge　cart　piled　to　the　top　with　soiled　uniforms　and　linens。　Tracy　watched；　puzzled；　as　he　headed　for　the　exit。
　
　〃What　I　was　sayin'　was　if　me　and　Al　can　do　anythin'　for　you…　you　know…　send　you　things　or…〃
　
　〃Ernie；　what's　a　laundry　truck　doing　here？　The　prison　has　its　own　laundry。〃
　
　〃Oh；　that's　for　the　guards；〃　Ernestine　laughed。　〃They　used　to　send　their　uniforms　to　the　prison　laundry；　but　all　the　buttons　managed　to　get　ripped　off；　sleeves　were　torn；　obscene　notes　were　sewn　inside；　shirts　were　shrunk；　and　the　material　got　mysteriously　slashed。　Ain't　that　a　fuckin'　shame；　Miss　Scarlett？　Now　the　guards　gotta　send　their　stuff　to　an　outside　laundry。〃　Ernestine　laughed　her　Butterfly　McQueen　imitation。
　
　Tracy　was　no　longer　listening