pzb.lostsouls-第14部分

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　　He　said　the　name　to　himself　and　shivered：　Missing　Mile。　
　　Nothing　crossed　his　dark　room　and　let　himself　into　the　hall。　His　parents　were　out　somewhere…a　consciousness…raising　group；　a　holistic　health　class；　an　expensive　dinner　with　other　people　like　themselves。　Their　bedroom　door　was　ajar；　and　the　room　within　smelled　of　perfumed　soap　and　after…shave。　The　odors　struck　him　as　stinging　and　chemical。　They　said　his　room　smelled　bad。
　　His　fingers　searched　the　bottom　of　the　dresser　drawer；　familiar　by　now；　and　found　the　note　at　once。　Its　presence　in　his　hand　was　forting；　its　ink　faded；　its　edges　soft　and　ragged　from　all　the　times　he　had　held　it　over　the　past　three　years。　He　slipped　it　into　his　pocket。　He　considered　the　collection　of　crystals　on　top　of　the　dresser；　then　picked　up　the　one　he　liked　best；　a　piece　of　rose　quartz。　He　curled　his　hand　around　it。　No；　he　decided；　it　was　too　tainted　with　Mother's　touch；　with　her　antimagic。　After　a　few　minutes　of　hunting　he　found　Mother's　cache　of　emergency　money　in　her　jewelry　box　and　took　that　instead。　A　hundred　dollars。　It　wouldn't　last　until　he　got　where　he　was　going；　but　it　would　help。　After　that　…Well；　after　that　I'll　find　something　else；　he　told　himself。
　　Next　he　used　the　phone。　Jack　wasn't　home；　but　Nothing　called　around　and　found　him　at　Skittle's；　the　pizza　shop　downtown　where　his　friends　hung　out　at　night。　〃Can　you　drive　me　to　Columbia？〃　he　asked。
　　〃Gas　isn't　free；　dude。〃　Jack　was　eighteen；　had　a　fake　ID　that　got　him　served　at　the　liquor　store；　and　considered　himself　the　lord　of　the　local　scene。
　　〃I　can　pay　you。　I　have　to　catch　a　bus。　I'm　getting　the　hell　out　of　here。〃
　　〃Folks　giving　you　too　much　shit；　huh？〃　Jack　didn't　wait　for　an　answer。　〃Okay；　I　can　take　you　tonight。　Five　bucks　for　the　gas　if　you　got　it。　Meet　me　here　at　midnight。〃
　　How　far　could　you　ride　a　Greyhound　for　ninety…five　dollars？　Far　enough　to　start　with。　〃Thanks；　Jack；〃　ha　said。　〃See　you　at　midnight。〃
　　〃Hey；　Laine　wants　to　talk　to　you；〃　Jack　said；　but　Nothing　was　already　hanging　up。
　　Back　in　his　room　he　huddled　under　the　quilt。　It　was　only　nine　o'clock；　he　could　sleep　for　a　couple　of　hours　before　walking　into　town　to　meet　Jack　and　the　others。　But　his　mind　would　not　shut　down。　His　eyes　would　not　stay　closed。　Even　the　whiskey　didn't　help；　he　realized　he　was　maddeningly　sober。
　　He　rolled　over；　hugged　himself；　then　felt　under　his　mattress　and　pulled　out　a　single…edged　razor　blade。　Gently；　lovingly；　he　pulled　the　edge　across　his　wrist。　A　thin　line　of　crimson　welled　up；　beading　and　running；　bright　against　the　pale　tracery　of　old　scars。　Nothing　lay　under　his　charred　quilt　in　his　own　safe　room　for　the　last　time；　and　he　sucked　at　his　own　blood　because　that　was　what　forted　him；　what　he　had　always　done　when　he　grew　too　lonely；　too　hungry　for　something　he　did　not　know。　He　lay　there　with　his　mouth　tight　against　his　wrist；　praying　to　the　juju　in　his　room：　e　with　me。　Stay　with　me　on　the　road　until　I　find　what　I'm　looking　for；　because　now　I'm　going　to　be　more　alone　than　ever。
　　At　last；　when　his　lips　were　stained　red　and　a　thin　pink　line　of　blood　and　spit　trickled　from　the　corner　of　his　mouth；　he　was　able　to　sleep。
　　
　　　Chapter　7
　　
　　I　'm　going　to　be　a　vampire；　Daddy。
　　Wallace　shut　his　eyes　tight　and　shook　his　head。　〃Begone；　Jessy；〃　he　muttered。　〃Torment　me　no　more。〃　His　hands　came　up　hard　against　the　side　of　the　brick　building　that　housed　Christian's　bar；　and　he　pushed　himself　away　from　the　wall　and　staggered　out　of　the　alley。
　　The　palms　of　his　hands　stung　dully。　He　had　left　some　of　his　skin　on　the　bricks；　and　he　could　feel　dust　and　grime　embedded　in　his　lifelines；　his　heartlines。　The　pain　did　nothing　to　soothe　his　mind；　nothing　to　stop　the　cursed　past　from　rushing　back。　The　streets　and　alleys　and　buildings　around　him　swam　and　grew　dark。　Now　he　could　actually　see　Jessy；　see　her　as　she　had　been　that　day。。。。
　　〃I'm　going　to　be　a　vampire；　Daddy。〃
　　It　was　all　she　had　spoken　of　for　weeks。　Finding　a　vampire　to　bite　her；　turning　into　one；　drinking　the　blood　of　others　（her　lovers；　Wallace　supposed；　the　lovers　he　didn't　know）　and　turning　them　into　vampires　as　well。　Her　things　spoke　of　this　obsession　too。　Jessy　had　always　been　quite　a　reader；　turning　the　pages　of　Charlotte's　Web　and　the　Bobbsey　Twins　books　with　scowling　concentration；　but　now　the　stack　of　books　by　her　bed　was　all　vampire　stories。　Dracula　was　there；　dog…eared　and　heavily　underlined。　Wallace　had　looked　at　the　book　one　night　while　Jessy　was　out　at　one　of　her　haunts。　Some　passages　were　circled　over　and　over；　in　pencil　and　lipstick　and　what　looked　like　blood。
　　Wallace　began　reading；　but　after　a　few　paragraphs　he　was　too　disgusted　to　continue。　He　hadn't　known　the　novel　was　pornographic。　He　touched　the　marks　on　the　page。　They　were　blood。　Jessy's　blood。　She　had　been　cutting　herself　to　get　at　it。　Wallace　found　razor　blades　between　the　pages　of　the　book。　There　were　other　novels　that　looked　just　as　lurid；　and　a　vial　of　some　sort　of　red　dust　that　must　have　e　from　one　of　the　voodoo　shops　in　the　French　Quarter；　though　he'd　told　her　not　to　go　to　those　places。　There　were　all　the　posters　from　the　movies　she　saw；　cruel　eyes　and　gaping；　razor…toothed　mouths　all　bloody；　and　the　walls　and　ceiling　festooned　with　black　lace。。。
　　〃Daddy。〃
　　Wallace　forced　his　eyes　open。　He　was　not　at　home；　standing　in　the　hallway　outside　Jessy's　room。　He　was　weaving　down　Bienville；　breathing　in　the　cool　night　air；　heading　for　the　river。　But　the　past　sucked　him　in　again；　and　it　was　that　day　。。。。
　　Jessy　was　calling　him。　For　ten　years　they　had　been　alone　except　for　each　other；　ever　since　the　day　Wallace　had　found　Lydia　in　her　cooling　red　bathwater　with　her　forearms　slashed　open　from　wrist　to　elbow。　He　was　Jessy's　father；　and　he　had　to　go　to　Jessy　when　she　called。　She　might　need　him。　
　　〃Daddy；〃　she　called　softly。　〃Daddy　。　。　。〃
　　Wallace　looked　at　the　old　sign　on　Jessy's　bedroom　door…a　cartoon　rabbit　in　rainbow…spattered　overalls　paining　the　words　GENIUS　AT　WORK　then　turned　the　knob　and　stepped　out　of　the　dark　hallway　into　brightness。　Jessy's　room　always　caught　the　morning　sunlight。
　　She'd　just　e　out　of　the　shower；　and　her　skin　was　as　pink　and　white　and　dewy　as　spring。　Her　hair　fell　wet　and　straight　along　her　cheeks。　As　he　stared　at　her；　she　let　the　green　towel　fall　from　her　breasts。　Wallace　had　not　seen　his　daughter's　body　since　she　was　a　young　child；　plump　and　androgynous；　with　pink　buttons　for　nipples　and　a　tiny　clean　fold　of　a　sex。　But　now　her　breasts　were　round　and　smooth；　with　a　girlish　heaviness　to　them；　and　Wallace　wondered　how　it　would　be　to　cup　their　weight　in　his　hands；　how　it　would　taste　if　he　took　one　of　those　creamy　strawberry　peaks　in　his　mouth　and　sucked。
　　〃I'm　going　to　he　a　vampire；　Daddy。〃
　　He　could　not　find　his　voice。　There　was　no　spit　in　his　mouth。　〃Put　your　clothes　on；　Jessy。〃　It　was　a　dry　whisper；　weak　and　useless。
　　〃I'm　going　to　bite　people；　Daddy。　I'm　going　to　feed　on　them。　I　need　blood。　Hot　。　。　。　rich　。　。　。　red　blood。　I　need　your　blood；　Daddy。　I'm　hungry。　Your　Jessy's　hungry。　e　to　me。〃
　　He　did　not　know　how　he　got　to　the　bed。　Surely　if　she　had　not　cajoled　so；　if　she　were　not　his　daughter；　his　only　joy；　if　he　had　not　always　tried　to　give　her　everything　she　asked　for。。。surely　if　he　had　lain　with　some　other　woman　in　the　ten　years　since　Lydia　was　gone。。。surely　then；　if　the　ache　in　his　groin　had　not　e　bursting　forth；　he　would　not　have　let　her　lay　him　out　and　undo　his　trousers　and　straddle　him；　slipping　around　him　as　smooth　and　tight　as　sea　anemones。　Surely　he　would　not　have　groaned　and　squeezed　her　heavy　soft　breasts　between　his　fingers　and　thrust　up　and　up　into　his　daughter's　wet…velvet　heaven　until　she　bent　over　him　and　he　felt　a　metallic　sting　as　of　a　razor　blade　beneath　his　jaw。　Jessy　fastened　her　lips　there。　He　felt　her　throat　working　as　she　swallowed。　Then　a　black　and　crimson　mist　began　to　drift　into　the　edges　of　his　vision。
　　He　awoke　tangled　in　Jessy's　rumpled　sheets　that　smelled　of　girl…skin。　There　was　a　nick　on　his　throat；　no　worse　than　a　bad　shaving　cut；　smeared　with　dried　blood　and　spit。　He　did　not　wash　it。　Jessy　was　gone。
　　After　a　few　nights　he　began　to　look　for　her　in　all　the　places　she　had　mentioned。　All　the　nighttime　haunts；　the　dark　bars　and　clubs　in　the　French　Quarter。　He　did　not　know　what　he　would　say　if　he　saw　Jessy。　He　had　begun　to　feel　as　if　the　thing　that　had　happened　were　his　fault；　as　if　he　had　seduced　her。　As　if　he　had　forced　himself　into　her。　He　did　not　know　whether　he　would　be　able　to　meet　his　daughter's　eyes。　But　that　did　not　matter；　for　he　never　saw　Jessy　again。
　　More　and　more　often　during　his　search；　he　found　himself　drawn　to　the　place　called　Christian's；　the　dark　bar　with　the　stained…glass　windows　that　threw　colored　shadows　onto　the　sidewalk。　It　was　a　little　place　way　down　Chartres；　away　from　the　life　of　the　Quarter。　He　came　here　because　he　knew　Jessy　had　liked　the　place；　and　he　decided　he　might　as　well　have　a　drink　or　two　or　three。　He　watched　the　bartender。　Christian　moved　behind　the　bar；　mixing　drinks　with　detached　expertise；　answering　his　customers'　chatter　politely　if　rather　coldly。　Unless　someone　spoke　to　Christian；　he　was　silent。
　　When　Wallace　watched　Christian；　studied　the　impossibly　tall；　gaunt；　pale　figure　always　dressed　in　black；　the　idea　of　Jessy's　vampires　no　longer　seemed　quite　so　preposterous。　Something　about　Christian　frightened　him。　Wallace　thought　of　himself　as　a　religious　man；　but　when　he　was　in　that　chilly　presence；　God's　warmth　seemed　to　shrivel　inside　him。　One　night　their　eyes　met　across　the　bar；　and　Wallace　felt　his　spine　turn　to　ice。　The　coldness　in　Christian's　eyes…that　awful；　empty　coldness；　like　winds　blowing　across　barren　plains…was　more　convincing　than　all　Jessy's　talk；　her　books　and　movies；　her　fevered　drinking　of　blood。
　　Wallace　could　not　forget　those　eyes。　When　he'd　seen　them　again　tonight；　he　had　felt　the　same　icy　hand；　the　same　helpless　fury。　Wallace　believed　in　vampires　now。
　　Tonight；　though；　he　would　not　be　helpless。　Fifteen　years　ago　he　had　been　afraid。　His　fear　no　longer　mattered；　not　now。　The　finger　of　God　had　touched　him；　a　fearful；　excruciating　touch　that　wrenched　his　insides　and　sometimes　drew　thin　dirty　blood　from