pzb.lostsouls-第22部分

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fair。　Anyone　might　stop。　Anything　might　happen。
　　He　kissed　the　postcard　and　dropped　it　into　a　mailbox　near　the　bus　station；　then　crossed　the　parking　lot　and　climbed　a　grassy　embankment　to　the　highway。　Among　the　mosaic　of　dirty　gravel　and　shattered　glass　on　the　shoulder　of　the　road；　he　found　a　single　long　bone　as　dry　and　clean　as　a　fossil。　A　chicken　bone；　probably；　that　somebody　had　tossed　out　a　car　window。　But　it　might　be　raccoon　or　cat　or　even…Nothing　shuddered　pleasurably…a　human　bone。　Maybe　someone　had　been　thrown　from　a　wreck；　or　some　hitchhiker　like　himself　had　been　hit　and　killed　here；　and　the　policemen　who　cleaned　up　the　mess　had　overlooked　a　finger　or　two。　Nothing　put　the　bone　in　his　raincoat　pocket　and　closed　his　hand　around　it。　It　nestled　there；　making　a　place　for　itself　next　to　Lost　Souls？
　　An　hour's　worth　of　cars　went　by；　sleek　and　faceless；　windows　rolled　up　against　the　ing　night。　Colors　melted　across　the　sky；　the　sun　died　its　bloody　evening　death。　Out　here；　away　from　the　lights　of　the　diner　and　the　bus　station；　the　sky　was　a　deep　violet　pricked　with　stars　like　glittering　chips　of　ice。　A　night　wind　was　freshening；　and　Nothing　began　to　shiver。　He　had　almost　decided　to　go　back　and　try　to　sleep　in　the　bus　station　when　the　Lincoln　Continental　screeched　to　a　stop　beside　him。
　　The　car　was　unwieldy　and　enormous；　salmon…pink　splotched　with　great　woundlike　patches　of　rust。　A　rope　trailed　from　the　rear　bumper；　unravelling；　its　end　stained　dark。　The　car's　interior；　once　white　maybe；　reeked　of　something　rancid。
　　As　he　got　in；　Nothing　saw　the　green　plastic　Jesus　on　the　dashboard；　but　before　he　could　reconsider　the　driver　leaned　across　him　and　pulled　the　passenger　door　shut。　Nothing　realized　suddenly　what　the　rancid　smell　was：　sour　milk。　It　made　him　think　of　the　dumpsters　behind　the　school　cafeteria　when　they　hadn't　been　dumped　for　a　while。
　　〃Where　you　headed？〃　After　a　moment's　hesitation；　the　driver　added；　〃Son？〃
　　The　green　Jesus　glowed　faintly　in　the　dimming　light。　Nothing　dragged　his　gaze　away　from　it　and　looked　into　the　driver's　face；　but　not　before　he　had　realized　that　the　eyes　of　the　Jesus　were　painted　red。　〃Missing　Mile；〃　he　said。　It　was　the　only　place　he　could　think　of　on　a　second's　notice。　〃North　Carolina。〃
　　The　man　nodded　and　turned　back　to　the　road。　〃Heard　about　the　place。　Maggot's　nest　of　sin；　nightclubs　and　bars；　fast　women。〃　He　scowled　at　the　highway。
　　Nothing　looked　more　closely　at　the　driver。　He　seemed　very　white。　His　face　was　unlined　and　pale；　with　a　kind　of　crazy　exalted　beauty　to　it；　but　the　hair　that　hung　in　it　was　the　color　of　flat；　hard…packed　ice。　The　man's　hands　were　as　spindly　as　two　white　spiders　on　the　steering　wheel；　and　the　pale　wrists　disappeared　into　folds　of　cloth　as　white　as　milk。　Was　he　wearing　robes？
　　The　white　hands　skittered　on　the　wheel。　〃Have　you　been　saved？〃
　　〃Shit；〃　said　Nothing　softly。
　　〃What　was　that？〃
　　Nothing　looked　out　the　window　at　a　graying　landscape。　Born…agains　made　him　into　a　smartass。　〃Yeah。　I　was　saved　once；　at　a　party。　I　was　almost　sober；　and　my　friend　gave　me　another　drink。〃
　　One　of　the　hands　shot　off　the　wheel。　Nothing　flinched；　thinking　he　was　about　to　get　smacked；　but　the　hand　only　crawled　through　the　clutter　on　the　front　seat　and　came　up　with　a　smeary　purple…inked　tract　clutched　in　its　fingers。　Saved　by　the　Blood　of　the　Lamb。
　　The　man　dropped　the　tract　ill　Nothing's　lap。　A　long　white　finger　touched　Nothing's　leg　through　a　rip　in　his　jeans。　〃You　read　that；〃　he　said。
　　〃Yeah；　sure。　I　will。〃　Nothing　started　to　stuff　the　tract　into　his　backpack。
　　〃Now。〃　The　voice　was　ice…edged。　Nothing　thought　of　frozen　milk；　of　shattering　crystal。　〃You　read　me　them　words　now。　Sing　it　loud　and　clear。〃
　　〃No　way。　Fuck　that。〃　Nothing　pushed　himself　back　against　the　door。　〃Let　me　out。〃
　　〃I　could　tell　you　were　a　sinner　from　the　minute　you　climbed　in。　Christ　shows　them　to　me；　and　it's　my　duty　to　save　them。　I　got　to　do　it。　I　got　to　do　it。〃　The　driver's　voice　sounded　almost　frightened　now。　〃You　got　to　read；　it's　my　duty　to　make　you。〃
　　The　needle　of　the　speedometer　was　jittering；　climbing。　Sixty。　Eighty。　The　Lincoln　slipped　on　the　shoulder；　sprayed　gravel；　righted　itself。
　　Nothing　unfolded　the　tract。　The　last　fiery　sliver　of　sun　was　just　slipping　down　behind　the　pines。　The　tiny　violet　letters　squirmed　and　blurred　before　his　eyes。　〃I　can't　read　it；〃　he　said。　〃Too　dark。〃
　　The　driver　touched　a　button。　Dull　light　flooded　the　car。　The　man　glanced　sideways　at　him；　and　Nothing　saw　that　the　irises　of　his　eyes　were　red。　No；　not　red。　Pink。　Bright　jewel…pink。　Nothing　was　so　intrigued　that　he　forgot　to　be　afraid。　〃Can　you　see？〃　he　asked。
　　A　kind　of　radiance　suffused　the　man's　face；　lighting　up　that　crazy　horrible　beauty；　making　it　glow。　〃My　affliction；〃　he　said。　'They　call　me　albino。　I　call　it　the　hand　of　Jesus　upon　me。　I　am　stricken；　and　I　walk　with　Him。〃
　　〃They're；　pretty；〃　said　Nothing。　〃I　wouldn't　mind　having　pink　eyes。
　　The　radiance　disappeared。　The　speedometer　trembled　up　to　ninety…five。　〃God…given　affliction　ain't　pretty。　You　go　on。　You　got　to　read。〃
　　Nothing　picked　up　the　tract　again。　As　he　shifted　in　his　seat；　his　foot　crushed　something　on　the　floor。　Now　he　could　see　where　the　sour　smell　came　from：　dozens　of　empty　milk　cartons　littered　the　floorboards；　some　fresh；　some　faded　with　age。　Missing　children　smiled　sunnily　up　at　him；　refusing　to　acknowledge　that　now　they　were　probably　just　scattered　bones　in　a　culvert　somewhere。
　　Nothing　took　a　deep　breath　and　opened　the　tract。　The　paper　felt　slick　and　cheap　between　his　fingers。　〃What　is　eternal　life？〃　he　began。
　　〃Go　on；〃　the　driver　told　him。　His　breathing　had　begun　to　quicken。
　　
　　An　hour　later　it　was　full　dark　outside　the　dusty　windows。　The　Lincoln　was　cruising　at　eighty。　The　albino　had　made　him　read　four　more　tracts；　and　between　that　and　the　sour…milk　odor；　Nothing's　throat　felt　as　if　someone　had　poured　hot　sand　down　it。
　　〃'Don't　let　Satan　deceive　you；　for　he　lies。　BEING　SAVED　IS　THE　ONLY　WAY　INTO　HEAVEN。。。'〃　Nothing　faltered。　His　voice　was　as　hoarse　as　if　he　had　just　smoked　a　whole　pack　of　Luckies。　If　the　albino　was　going　to　kill　him　and　dump　him　in　a　ditch　somewhere；　they　might　as　well　get　it　over　with。　If　he　stopped　now；　maybe　he'd　still　be　able　to　scream。
　　〃I　can't　go　any　more；〃　he　said；　afraid　to　look　at　the　albino。　Instead　he　stared　out　the　window。　The　countryside　was　dark。　Rain　had　begun　to　speckle　the　windshield；　streaking　down　through　a　patina　of　dust　and　highway　grit。　There　was　no　light　anywhere；　not　by　the　side　of　the　road；　not　on　the　horizon。　Heavy　clouds　blotted　out　the　moon。
　　The　Lincoln's　one　working　headlight　picked　out　a　line　of　bright　orange　cones　by　the　side　of　the　road。　Highway　work。　The　cones　flashed　by　slower　。　。　。　slower。　Gravel　crunched　beneath　the　wheels。　The　car　came　to　a　full　stop。
　　The　albino　cut　the　ignition　and　turned　to　Nothing。　The　only　light　came　from　the　glowing　green　Jesus　on　the　dash；　a　ghostly　light；　faint　and　phosphorescent。　The　painted　eyes　stood　out　like　holes　in　the　tiny　mournful　face。　The　albino　stared　at　Nothing；　his　face　shadowed；　his　own　eyes　glittering　flatly。　When　the　craziness　in　his　face　was　not　showing；　he　looked　like　a　sick　child。　One　of　the　white　spiders　touched　Nothing's　leg。
　　Nothing　glanced　at　the　door。　The　button　was　pushed　down。　Locked。　Would　he　be　able　to　open　it　and　jump　out　before　the　driver　could　grab　him？　The　man　was　bigger；　though　his　body　looked　sickly　and　loose…jointed　under　the　white　robe。　Rain　dashed　against　the　window。　Nothing　peered　out　through　streaks　of　dirt　and　swashes　of　clean　black　night。　What　was　out　there？　If　he　made　a　dash　for　it；　would　anybody　help　him；　or　would　the　albino　run　him　down？　He　stared　at　the　milk　cartons；　saw　again　the　eyes　of　the　missing　children。　Little　dark　smudges　in　a　sea　of　red　and　white；　utterly　helpless。
　　The　white　spider　was　crawling　up　his　thigh；　squeezing。　
　　〃Now　we're　gonna　go　over　what　you　learned；〃　the　man　said　again。　Suddenly　Nothing　wasn't　scared　anymore。　This　situation　was　familiar。
　　'Why　didn't　you　just　tell　me　what　you　wanted；　instead　of　making　me　read　all　that　crap？〃
　　〃It's　my　duty；〃　the　man　said；　but　his　voice　shook；　and　his　hand　tightened　on　Nothing's　leg。
　　Nothing　didn't　care　what　he　had　to　do。　Whatever　it　was；　it　would　be　worth　it　to　get　away　from　this　sour…smelling　car；　those　lonely　cardboard　smiles。　The　albino's　jewel…pink　eyes　slipped　shut　as　Nothing　bent　over　his　lap　and　pulled　his　robes　aside。　This　was　clumsy　magic；　but　it　was　so　easy；　he　had　learned　it　in　a　hundred　drunken　backseats；　in　Laine's　bedroom　on　lazy　afternoons　laying　out　from　school。　Sometimes　older　men　in　fancy　cars　would　cruise　past　the　schoolyard　and　park　near　the　curb；　out　behind　the　cafeteria　dumpsters。　Some　of　the　boys；　if　they　were　saving　up　for　a　guitar　or　hurting　for　a　bag　of　pot；　would　go　out　there　and　blow　them　for　twenty　dollars　a　throw。　That　was　what　the　sour…milk　odor　reminded　him　of。　Nothing　had　done　it　a　couple　of　times　back　then；　and　he　guessed　he　could　manage　now。
　　The　albino　had　a　huge　erection　that　pulsed　vivid　red　against　all　the　whiteness。　Even　his　pubic　hair　was　like　coarse　cotton。　Nothing　had　to　stretch　his　mouth　open　until　he　thought　his　jaws　would　crack。　The　white　spiders　twined　in　Nothing's　hair　and　stroked　Nothing's　throat　and　shoulders　with　a　careful；　psychotic　tenderness。　〃I　got　to　do　it；〃　he　said　as　he　came。　〃I　got　to　do　it。〃
　　His　sperm　was　thin　and　milky；　and　burned　Nothing's　raw　throat　as　it　went　down。　But　Nothing　had　never　minded　swallowing　e。　Something　about　it　settled　his　stomach　and　made　his　whole　body　feel　good。
　　The　albino　gave　Nothing　five　dollars…five　lousy　dollars；　Nothing　amended　silently。　But　the　night　air　refreshed　him　as　he　pushed　open　the　heavy　door；　and　he　got　out　fast；　before　the　man　could　decide　that　he　wasn't　quite　saved　yet；　that　another　round　of　tract…reading　and　blowjobbing　might　do　the　trick。　The　salmon…pink　Continental　rolled　slowly　away；　the　stained　rope　trailing　from　its　rear　bumper；　leaving　Nothing　alone　on　the　roadside。　The　albino　had　forgotten　to　turn　his　single　headlight　back　on；　but　as　the　ear　crested　a　hill　and　disappeared；　Nothing　glimpsed　a　tiny　green　phosphorescenc