pgw.psmith,journalist-第24部分
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f which somebody seemed to let off about fifty thousand dollars' worth of fireworks all in a bunch； and I didn't remember anything more till I found myself in a cell； pretty nearly knocked to pieces。 That's my little life…history。 I guess I was a fool to cut loose that way； but I was so mad I didn't stop to think。〃
Psmith sighed。
〃You have told me your painful story；〃 he said。 〃Now hear mine。 After parting with you last night； I went meditatively back to my Fourth Avenue address； and； with a courtly good night to the large policeman who； as I have mentioned in previous conversations； is stationed almost at my very door； I passed on into my room； and had soon sunk into a dreamless slumber。 At about three o'clock in the morning I was aroused by a somewhat hefty banging on the door。 〃
〃What！〃
〃A banging at the door；〃 repeated Psmith。 〃There； standing on the mat； were three policemen。 From their remarks I gathered that certain bright spirits had been running a gambling establishment in the lower regions of the buildingwhere； I think I told you； there is a saloonand the Law was now about to clean up the place。 Very cordially the honest fellows invited me to go with them。 A conveyance； it seemed； waited in the street without。 I pointed out； even as you appear to have done； that sea…green pyjamas with old rose frogs were not the costume in which a Shropshire Psmith should be seen abroad in one of the world's greatest cities； but they assured memore by their manner than their wordsthat my misgivings were out of place； so I yielded。 These men； I told myself； have lived longer in New York than I。 They know what is done and what is not done。 I will bow to their views。 So I went with them； and after a very pleasant and cosy little ride in the patrol waggon； arrived at the police station。 This morning I chatted a while with the courteous magistrate； convinced him by means of arguments and by silent evidence of my open； honest face and unwavering eye that I was not a professional gambler； and came away without a stain on my character。〃
Billy Windsor listened to this narrative with growing interest。
〃Gum！ it's them！〃 he cried。
〃As rade Maloney would say；〃 said Psmith； 〃meaning what； rade Windsor？〃
Why； the fellows who are after that paper。 They tipped the police off about the pool…rooms； knowing that we should be hauled off without having time to take anything with us。 I'll bet anything you like they have been in and searched our rooms by now。〃
〃As regards yours； rade Windsor； I cannot say。 But it is an undoubted fact that mine； which I revisited before going to the office； in order to correct what seemed to me even on reflection certain drawbacks to my costume； looks as if two cyclones and a threshing machine had passed through it。〃
〃They've searched it？〃
〃With a fine…toothed b。 Not one of my objects of vertu but has been displaced。〃
Billy Windsor slapped his knee。
〃It was lucky you thought of sending that paper by post；〃 he said。 〃We should have been done if you hadn't。 But； say；〃 he went on miserably； 〃this is awful。 Things are just warming up for the final burst； and I'm out of it all。〃
〃For thirty days；〃 sighed Psmith。 〃What Cosy Moments really needs is a sitz…redacteur。〃
〃A what？〃
A sitz…redacteur； rade Windsor； is a gentleman employed by German newspapers with a taste for lese majeste to go to prison whenever required in place of the real editor。 The real editor hints in his bright and snappy editorial； for instance； that the Kaiser's moustache reminds him of a bad dream。 The police force swoops down en masse on the office of the journal； and are met by the sitz…redacteur； who goes with them peaceably； allowing the editor to remain and sketch out plans for his next week's article on the Crown Prince。 We need a sitz…redacteur on Cosy Moments almost as much as a fighting editor； and we have neither。〃
〃The Kid has had to leave then？〃
〃He wants to go into training at once。 He very sportingly offered to cancel his match； but of course that would never do。 Unless you consider rade Maloney equal to the job； I must look around me for some one else。 I shall be too fully occupied with purely literary matters to be able to deal with chance callers。 But I have a scheme。〃
〃What's that？〃
〃It seems to me that we are allowing much excellent material to lie unused in the shape of rade Jarvis。〃
〃Bat Jarvis。〃
〃The same。 The cat…specialist to whom you endeared yourself somewhat earlier in the proceedings by befriending one of his wandering animals。 Little deeds of kindness； little acts of love； as you have doubtless heard； help； etc。 Should we not give rade Jarvis an opportunity of proving the correctness of this statement？ I think so。 Shortly after youif you will forgive me for touching on painful subjecthave been haled to your dungeon； I will push round to rade Jarvis's address； and sound him on the subject。 Unfortunately； his affection is confined； I fancy； to you。 Whether he will consent to put himself out on my behalf remains to be seen。 However； there is no harm in trying。 If nothing else es of the visit； I shall at least have had the opportunity of chatting with one of our most prominent citizens。〃
A policeman appeared at the door。
〃Say； pal；〃 he remarked to Psmith； 〃you'll have to be fading away soon； I guess。 Give you three minutes more。 Say it quick。〃
He retired。 Billy leaned forward to Psmith。
〃I guess they won't give me much chance；〃 he whispered； 〃but if you see me around in the next day or two； don't be surprised。〃
〃I fail to follow you； rade Windsor。〃
〃Men have escaped from Blackwell's Island before now。 Not many； it's true； but it has been done。〃
Psmith shook his head。
〃I shouldn't；〃 he said。 〃They're bound to catch you； and then you will be immersed in the soup beyond hope of recovery。 I shouldn't wonder if they put you in your little cell for a year or so。〃
〃I don't care；〃 said Billy stoutly。 〃I'd give a year later on to be round and about now。〃
〃I shouldn't；〃 urged Psmith。 〃All will be well with the paper。 You have left a good man at the helm。〃
〃I guess I shan't get a chance； but I'll try it if I do。〃
The door opened and the policeman reappeared。
〃Time's up； I reckon。〃
〃Well； good…bye； rade Windsor；〃 said Psmith regretfully。 〃Abstain from undue worrying。 It's a walk…over from now on； and there's no earthly need for you to be around the office。 Once； I admit； this could not have been said。 But now things have simplified themselves。 Have no fear。 This act is going to be a scream from start to finish。〃
CHAPTER XXIV
A GATHERING OF CAT…SPECIALISTS
MASTER MALONEY raised his eyes for a moment from his book as Psmith re…entered the office。
〃Dere's a guy in dere waitin' ter see youse； he said briefly； jerking his head in the direction of the inner room。
〃A guy waiting to see me； rade Maloney？ With or without a sand…bag？〃
〃Says his name's Jackson；〃 said Master Maloney； turning a page。
Psmith moved quickly to the door of the inner room。
〃Why； rade Jackson；〃 he said； with the air of a father weling home the prodigal son； 〃this is the maddest； merriest day of all the glad New Year。 Where did you e from？〃
Mike； looking very brown and in excellent condition； put down the paper he was reading。
〃Hullo； Psmith；〃 he said。 〃I got back this morning。 We're playing a game over in Brooklyn to…morrow。〃
〃No engagements of any importance to…day？〃
〃Not a thing。 Why？〃
〃Because I propose to take you to visit rade Jarvis； whom you will doubtless remember。〃
〃Jarvis？〃 said Mike； puzzled。 〃I don't remember any Jarvis。〃
〃Let your mind wander back a little through the jungle of the past。 Do you recollect paying a visit to rade Windsor's room〃
〃By the way； where is Windsor？〃
〃In prison。 Well； on that evening〃
〃In prison？〃
〃For thirty days。 For slugging a policeman。 More of this； however； anon。 Let us return to that evening。 Don't you remember a certain gentleman with just about enough forehead to keep his front hair from getting all tangled up with his eye…brows？〃 〃Oh； the cat chap？ I know。〃
〃As you very justly observe； rade Jackson； the cat chap。 For going straight to the mark and seizing on the salient point of a situation； I know of no one who can last two minutes against you。 rade Jarvis may have other sides to his characterpossibly manybut it is as a cat chap that I wish to approach him to…day。〃
〃What's the idea？ What are you going to see him for？〃
〃We；〃 corrected Psmith。 〃I will explain all at a little luncheon at which I trust that you will be my guest。 Already； such is the stress of this journalistic life； I hear my tissues crying out imperatively to be restored。 An oyster and a glass of milk somewhere round the corner； rade Jackson？ I think so； I think so。〃
* * *
〃I was reading Cosy Moments in there；〃 said Mike； as they lunched。 〃You certainly seem to have bucked it up rather。 Kid Brady's reminiscences are hot stuff。〃
〃Somewhat sizzling； rade Jackson；〃 admitted Psmith。 〃They have； however； unfortunately cost us a fighting editor。〃
〃How's that？〃
〃Such is the boost we have given rade Brady； that he is now never without a match。 He has had to leave us to…day to go to White Plains to train for an encounter with a certain Mr。 Wood； a four…ounce…glove juggler of established fame。〃
〃I expect you need a fighting editor； don't you？〃
〃He is indispensable； rade Jackson； indispensable。〃
〃No rotting。 Has anybody cut up rough about the stuff you've printed？〃
〃Cut up rough？ Gadzooks！ I need merely say that one critical reader put a bullet through my hat〃
〃Rot！ Not really？〃
〃While others kept me tree'd on top of a roof for the space of nearly an hour。 Assuredly they have cut up rough； rade Jackson。〃
〃Great Scott！ Tell us。〃
Psmith briefly recounted the adventures of the past few weeks。
〃But； man；〃 said Mike； when he had finished 〃why on earth don't you call in the police？〃
〃We have mentioned the matter to certain of the force。 They appeared tolerably interested； but showed no tendency to leap excitedly to our assistance。 The New York policeman； rade Jackson； like all great men； is somewhat peculiar。 If you go to a New York policeman and exhibit a black eye
