pgw.psmith,journalist-第25部分
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like all great men； is somewhat peculiar。 If you go to a New York policeman and exhibit a black eye； he will examine it and express some admiration for the abilities of the citizen responsible for the same。 If you press the matter； he bees bored； and says； 'Ain't youse satisfied with what youse got？ G'wan！' His advice in such cases is good； and should be followed。 No； since ing to this city I have developed a habit of taking care of myself； or employing private help。 That is why I should like you； if you will； to e with me to call upon rade Jarvis。 He is a person of considerable influence among that section of the populace which is endeavouring to smash in our occiputs。 Indeed； I know of nobody who cuts a greater quantity of ice。 If I can only enlist rade Jarvis's assistance； all will be well。 If you are through with your refreshment； shall we be moving in his direction？ By the way； it will probably be necessary in the course of our interview to allude to you as one of our most eminent living cat…fanciers。 You do not object？ Remember that you have in your English home seventy…four fine cats； mostly Angoras。 Are you on to that？ Then let us be going。 rade Maloney has given me the address。 It is a goodish step down on the East side。 I should like to take a taxi； but it might seem ostentatious。 Let us walk。〃
* * *
They found Mr。 Jarvis in his Groome Street fancier's shop； engaged in the intellectual occupation of greasing a cat's paws with butter。 He looked up as they entered； and began to breathe a melody with a certain coyness。
〃rade Jarvis；〃 said Psmith； 〃we meet again。 You remember me？〃
〃Nope；〃 said Mr。 Jarvis； pausing for a moment in the middle of a bar； and then taking up the air where he had left off。 Psmith was not discouraged。
〃Ah；〃 he said tolerantly； 〃the fierce rush of New York life。 How it wipes from the retina of to…day the image impressed on it but yesterday。 Are you with me； rade Jarvis？〃
The cat…expert concentrated himself on the cat's paws without replying。
〃A fine animal；〃 said Psmith； adjusting his eyeglass。 〃To which particular family of the Felis Domestica does that belong？ In colour it resembles a Neapolitan ice more than anything。〃
Mr。 Jarvis's manner became unfriendly。
〃Say； what do youse want？ That's straight ain't it？ If youse want to buy a boid or a snake why don't youse say so？〃
〃I stand corrected；〃 said Psmith。 〃I should have remembered that time is money。 I called in here partly on the strength of being a colleague and side…partner of rade Windsor〃
〃Mr。 Windsor！ De gent what caught my cat？〃
〃The sameand partly in order that I might make two very eminent cat…fanciers acquainted。 This；〃 he said； with a wave of his hand in the direction of the silently protesting Mike； 〃is rade Jackson； possibly the best known of our English cat…fanciers。 rade Jackson's stud of Angoras is celebrated wherever the King's English is spoken； and in Hoxton。〃
Mr。 Jarvis rose； and； having inspected Mike with silent admiration for a while； extended a well…buttered hand towards him。 Psmith looked on benevolently。
〃What rade Jackson does not know about cats；〃 he said； 〃is not knowledge。 His information on Angoras alone would fill a volume。〃
〃Say；〃Mr。 Jarvis was evidently touching on a point which had weighed deeply upon him〃why's catnip called catnip？〃
Mike looked at Psmith helplessly。 It sounded like a riddle； but it was obvious that Mr。 Jarvis's motive in putting the question was not frivolous。 He really wished to know。
〃The word； as rade Jackson was just about to observe；〃 said Psmith； 〃is a corruption of cat…mint。 Why it should be so corrupted I do not know。 But what of that？ The subject is too deep to be gone fully into at the moment。 I should remend you to read rade Jackson's little brochure on the matter。 Passing lightly on from that〃
〃Did youse ever have a cat dat ate beetles？〃 inquired Mr。 Jarvis。
〃There was a time when many of rade Jackson's felidae supported life almost entirely on beetles。〃
〃Did they git thin？〃
Mike felt that it was time； if he was to preserve his reputation； to assert himself。
〃No；〃 he replied firmly。
Mr。 Jarvis looked astonished。
〃English beetles；〃 said Psmith； 〃don't make cats thin。 Passing lightly〃
〃I had a cat oncest；〃 said Mr。 Jarvis； ignoring the remark and sticking to his point； 〃dat ate beetles and got thin and used to tie itself into knots。〃
〃A versatile animal；〃 agreed Psmith。
〃Say；〃 Mr。 Jarvis went on； now plainly on a subject near to his heart； 〃dem beetles is fierce。 Sure。 Can't keep de cats off of eatin' dem； I can't。 First t'ing you know dey've swallowed dem； and den dey gits thin and ties theirselves into knots。〃
〃You should put them into strait…waistcoats；〃 said Psmith。 〃Passing； however； lightly〃
〃Say； ever have a cross…eyed cat？〃
〃rade Jackson's cats；〃 said Psmith； 〃have happily been almost free from strabismus。〃
〃Dey's lucky； cross…eyed cats is。 You has a cross…eyed cat； and not'in' don't never go wrong。 But； say； was dere ever a cat wit one blue eye and one yaller one in your bunch？ Gum； it's fierce when it's like dat。 It's a real skiddoo； is a cat wit one blue eye and one yaller one。 Puts you in bad； surest t'ing you know。 Oncest a guy give me a cat like dat； and first t'ing you know I'm in bad all round。 It wasn't till I give him away to de cop on de corner and gets me one dat's cross…eyed dat I lifts de skiddoo off of me。〃
〃And what happened to the cop？〃 inquired Psmith； interested。
〃Oh； he got in bad； sure enough；〃 said Mr。 Jarvis without emotion。 〃One of de boys what he'd pinched and had sent to de Island once lays for him and puts one over him wit a black…jack。 Sure。 Dat's what es of havin' a cat wit one blue eye and one yaller one。〃
Mr。 Jarvis relapsed into silence。 He seemed to be meditating on the inscrutable workings of Fate。 Psmith took advantage of the pause to leave the cat topic and touch on matter of more vital import。
〃Tense and exhilarating as is this discussion of the optical peculiarities of cats；〃 he said； 〃there is another matter on which； if you will permit me； I should like to touch。 I would hesitate to bore you with my own private troubles； but this is a matter which concerns rade Windsor as well as myself； and I know that your regard for rade Windsor is almost an obsession。〃
〃How's that？〃
〃I should say；〃 said Psmith； 〃that rade Windsor is a man to whom you give the glad hand。〃
〃Sure。 He's to the good； Mr。 Windsor is。 He caught me cat。〃
〃He did。 By the way； was that the one that used to tie itself into knots？〃
〃Nope。 Dat was anudder。〃
〃Ah！ However； to resume。 The fact is； rade Jarvis； we are much persecuted by scoundrels。 How sad it is in this world！ We look to every side。 We look north； east； south； and west； and what do we see？ Mainly scoundrels。 I fancy you have heard a little about our troubles before this。 In fact； I gather that the same scoundrels actually approached you with a view to engaging your services to do us in； but that you very handsomely refused the contract。〃
〃Sure；〃 said Mr。 Jarvis； dimly prehending。
〃A guy es to me and says he wants you and Mr。 Windsor put through it； but I gives him de t'run down。 'Nuttin' done；' I says。 'Mr。 Windsor caught me cat。'〃
〃So I was informed；〃 said Psmith。 〃Well； failing you； they went to a gentleman of the name of Reilly。〃
〃Spider Reilly？〃
〃You have hit it； rade Jarvis。 Spider Reilly； the lessee and manager of the Three Points gang。〃
〃Dose T'ree Points； dey're to de bad。 Dey're fresh。〃
〃It is too true； rade Jarvis。〃
〃Say；〃 went on Mr。 Jarvis； waxing wrathful at the recollection； 〃what do youse t'ink dem fresh stiffs done de udder night。 Started some rough woik in me own dance…joint。〃
〃Shamrock Hall？〃 said Psmith。
〃Dat's right。 Shamrock Hall。 Got gay； dey did； wit some of de Table Hillers。 Say； I got it in for dem gazebos； sure I have。 Surest t'ing you know。〃
Psmith beamed approval。
〃That；〃 he said； 〃is the right spirit。 Nothing could be more admirable。 We are bound together by our mon desire to check the ever…growing spirit of freshness among the members of the Three Points。 Add to that the fact that we are united by a sympathetic knowledge of the manners and customs of cats； and especially that rade Jackson； England's greatest fancier； is our mutual friend； and what more do we want？ Nothing。〃
〃Mr。 Jackson's to de good；〃 assented Mr。 Jarvis； eyeing Mike in friendly fashion。
〃We are all to de good；〃 said Psmith。 〃Now the thing I wished to ask you is this。 The office of the paper on which I work was until this morning securely guarded by rade Brady； whose name will be familiar to you。〃
〃De Kid？〃
〃On the bull's…eye； as usual； rade Jarvis。 Kid Brady； the ing light…weight champion of the world。 Well； he has unfortunately been pelled to leave us； and the way into the office is consequently clear to any sand…bag specialist who cares to wander in。 Matters connected with the paper have bee so poignant during the last few days that an inrush of these same specialists is almost a certainty； unlessand this is where you e in。〃
〃Me？〃
〃Will you take rade Brady's place for a few days？〃
〃How's that？〃
〃Will you e in and sit in the office for the next day or so and help hold the fort？ I may mention that there is money attached to the job。 We will pay for your services。 How do we go； rade Jarvis？〃
Mr。 Jarvis reflected but a brief moment。
〃Why； sure；〃 he said。 〃Me fer dat。 When do I start？〃
〃Excellent； rade Jarvis。 Nothing could be better。 I am obliged。 I rather fancy that the gay band of Three Pointers who will undoubtedly visit the offices of Cosy Moments in the next few days； probably to…morrow； are due to run up against the surprise of their lives。 Could you be there at ten to…morrow morning？〃
Sure t'ing。 I'll bring me canister。〃
〃I should；〃 said Psmith。 〃In certain circumstances one canister is worth a flood of rhetoric。 Till to…morrow； then； rade Jarvis。 I am very much obliged to you。〃
〃Not at all a bad hour's work；〃 said Psmith placently； as they turned out of Groome Street。 〃A vote of thanks to you； rade Jackson； for your invaluable assistance。〃
〃It strikes me I didn't do much；〃 said Mike with a grin。
〃Apparently； n
