tp.guards!guards!-第11部分

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rently　forming　its　lower　lip　into　a　sort　of　prehensile　funnel　and　making　a　noise　like　a　canal　being　drained。
　Carrot　nudged　Nobby。
　〃There's　a　monk。。。　〃　he　began。
　〃Don't　say　it！〃　said　Nobby　urgently。　〃Don't　say　the　word！　It's　the　Librarian。　Works　up　at　the　University。　Always　es　down　here　for　a　nightcap　of　an　evening。〃
　〃And　people　don't　object？〃
　〃Why　should　they？〃　said　Nobby。　〃He　always　stands　his　round；　just　like　everyone　else。〃
　Carrot　turned　and　looked　at　the　ape　again。　A　number　of　questions　pressed　for　attention；　such　as：　where　does　it　keep　its　money？　The　Librarian　caught　his　gaze；　misinterpreted　it；　and　gently　pushed　the　bowl　of　peanuts　towards　him。
　Carrot　pulled　himself　to　his　full　impressive　height　and　consulted　his　notebook。　The　afternoon　spent　reading　The　Laws　and　Ordinances　had　been　well　spent。
　〃Who　is　the　owner；　proprietor；　lessee；　or　landlord　of　these　premises？''　he　said　to　Nobby。
　〃Wassat？〃　said　the　small　guard。　〃Landlord？　Well；　I　suppose　Charley　here　is　in　charge　tonight。　Why？〃　He　indicated　a　large；　heavy…set　man　whose　face　was　a　net　of　scars；　its　owner　paused　in　the　act　of　spreading　the　dirt　more　evenly　around　some　glasses　by　means　of　a　damp　cloth；　and　gave　Carrot　a　conspiratorial　wink。
　〃Charley；　this　is　Carrot；〃　said　Nobby。　〃He's　stopping　along　of　Rosie　Palm's。〃
　〃What；　every　night？〃　said　Charley。
　Carrot　cleared　his　throat。
　〃If　you　are　in　charge；〃　he　intoned；　〃then　it　is　my　duty　to　inform　you　that　you　are　under　arrest。〃
　〃A　rest　of　what；　friend？〃　said　Charley；　still　polishing。
　〃Under　arrest；〃　said　Carrot；　〃with　a　view　to　the　presentation　of　charges　to　whit　l）（i）　that　on　or　about　18th　Grune；　at　a　place　called　the　Mended　Drum；　Filigree　Street；　you　did　a）　serve　or　b）　did　cause　to　serve　alcoholic　beverages　after　the　hours　of　12　（twelve）　midnight；　contrary　to　the　provisions　of　the　Public　Ale　Houses　（Opening）　Act　of　1678；　and　l）（ii）　on　or　about　18th　Grune；　at　a　place　called　the　Mended　Drum；　Filigree　Street；　you　did　serve　or　did　cause　to　serve　alcoholic　beverages　in　containers　other　than　of　a　size　and　capacity　laid　down　by　aforesaid　Act；　and　2）（i）　that　on　or　about　18th　Grune；　at　a　place　called　the　Mended　Drum；　Filigree　Street；　you　did　allow　customers　to　carry　unsheathed　edge　weapons　of　a　length　greater　than　7　（seven）　inches；　contrary　to　Section　Three　of　said　Act　and　2）（ii）　that　on　or　about　18th　Grune；　at　a　place　called　the　Mended　Drum；　Filigree　Street；　you　did　serve　alcoholic　beverages　in　premises　apparently　unlicensed　for　the　sale　and/or　consumption　of　said　beverages；　contrary　to　Section　Three　of　the　aforesaid　Act。〃
　There　was　dead　silence　as　Carrot　turned　over　another　page；　and　went　on：　〃It　is　also　my　duty　to　inform　you　that　it　is　my　intention　to　lay　evidence　before　the　Justices　with　a　view　to　the　consideration　of　charges　under　the　Public　Foregatherings　（Gambling）　Act；　1567；　the　Licensed　Premises　（Hygiene）　Acts　of　1433；　1456；　1463；　1465；　er；　and　1470　through　1690；　and　also；〃　he　glanced　sideways　at　the　Librarian；　who　knew　trouble　when　he　heard　it　ing　and　was　hurriedly　trying　to　finish　his　drink；〃the　Domestic　and　Domesticated　Animals　（Care　and　Protection）　Act；　1673。〃
　The　silence　that　followed　held　a　rare　quality　of　breathless　anticipation　as　the　assembled　pany　waited　to　see　what　would　happen　next。
　Charley　carefully　put　down　the　glass；　whose　smears　had　been　buffed　up　to　a　brilliant　shine；　and　looked　down　at　Nobby。
　Nobby　was　endeavoring　to　pretend　that　he　was　totally　alone　and　had　no　connection　whatsoever　with　anyone　who　might　be　standing　next　to　him　and　coincidentally　wearing　an　identical　uniform。
　〃What'd　he　mean；　Justices？〃　he　said　to　Nobby。　〃There　ain't　no　Justices。〃
　Nobby　gave　a　terrified　shrug。
　〃New；　is　he？〃　said　Charley。
　〃Make　it　easy　on　yourself；〃　said　Carrot。
　〃This　is　nothing　personal；　you　understand；〃　said　Charley　to　Nobby。　〃It's　just　a　wossname。　Had　a　wizard　in　here　the　other　night　talking　about　it。　Sort　of　bendy　educational　thing；　you　know？〃　He　appeared　to　think　for　a　moment。　〃Learning　curve。　That　was　it。　It's　a　learning　curve。　Detritus；　get　your　big　stony　arse　over　here　a　moment。〃
　Generally；　about　this　time　in　the　Mended　Drum；　someone　throws　a　glass。　And；　in　fact；　this　now　happened。
　　
　。。。
　　
　Captain　Vimes　ran　up　Short　Street　…　the　longest　in　the　city；　which　shows　the　famous　Morpork　subtle　sense　of　humour　in　a　nutshell　…　with　Sergeant　Colon　stumbling　along　behind；　protesting。
　Nobby　was　outside　the　Drum；　hopping　from　one　foot　to　another。　In　times　of　danger　he　had　a　way　of　propelling　himself　from　place　to　place　without　apparently　moving　through　the　intervening　space　which　could　put　any　ordinary　matter　transporter　to　shame。
　〃　'E's　fighting　in　there！〃　he　stuttered；　grabbing　the　captain's　arm。
　〃All　by　himself？〃　said　the　captain。
　〃No；　with　everyone！〃　shouted　Nobby；　hopping　from　one　foot　to　the　other。
　〃Oh。〃
　Conscience　said：　There's　three　of　you。　He's　wearing　the　same　uniform。　He's　one　of　your　men。　Remember　poor　old　Gaskin。
　Another　part　of　his　brain；　the　hated；　despicable　part　which　had　nevertheless　enabled　him　to　survive　in　the　Guards　these　past　ten　years；　said：　It's　rude　to　butt　in。　We'll　wait　until　he's　finished；　and　then　ask　him　if　he　wants　any　assistance。　Besides；　it　isn't　Watch　policy　to　interfere　in　fights。　It's　a　lot　simpler　to　go　in　afterwards　and　arrest　anyone　recumbent。
　There　was　a　crash　as　a　nearby　window　burst　outwards　and　deposited　a　stunned　fighter　on　the　opposite　side　of　the　street。
　〃I　think；〃　said　the　captain　carefully；　〃that　we'd　better　take　prompt　action。〃
　〃That's　right；〃　said　Sgt　Colon；　〃a　man　could　get　hurt　standing　here。〃
　They　sidled　cautiously　a　little　way　down　the　street；　where　the　sound　of　splintering　wood　and　breaking　glass　wasn't　so　overpowering；　and　carefully　avoided　one　another's　eyes。　There　was　the　occasional　scream　from　within　the　tavern；　and　every　now　and　again　a　mysterious　ringing　noise；　as　though　someone　was　hitting　a　gong　with　their　knee。
　They　stood　in　a　little　pool　of　embarrassed　silence。
　〃You　had　your　holidays　this　year；　Sergeant？〃　said　Captain　Vimes　eventually；　rocking　back　and　forth　on　his　heels。
　〃Yessir。　Sent　the　wife　to　Quirm　last　month；　sir；　to　see　her　aunt。〃
　〃Very　nice　at　this　time　of　year；　I'm　told。〃
　〃Yessir。〃
　〃All　the　geraniums　and　whatnot。〃
　A　figure　tumbled　out　of　an　upper　window　and　crumpled　on　the　cobbles。
　〃That's　where　they've　got　the　floral　sundial；　isn't　it？〃　said　the　captain　desperately。
　〃Yessir。　Very　nice；　sir。　All　done　with　little　flowers；　sir。〃
　There　was　a　sound　like　something　hitting　something　else　repeatedly　with　something　heavy　and　wooden。　Vimes　winced。
　〃I　don't　think　he'd　of　been　happy　in　the　Watch；　sir；〃　said　the　sergeant；　in　a　kindly　voice。
　The　door　of　the　Mended　Drum　had　been　torn　off　during　riots　so　often　that　specially…tempered　hinges　had　recently　been　installed；　and　the　fact　that　the　next　tremendous　crash　tore　the　whole　door　and　doorframe　out　of　the　wall　only　showed　that　quite　a　lot　of　money　had　been　wasted。　A　figure　in　the　midst　of　the　wreckage　tried　to　raise　itself　on　its　elbows；　groaned；　and　slumped　back。
　〃Well；　it　would　seem　that　it's　all。。。〃　the　captain　began；　and　Nobby　said：　〃It's　that　bloody　troll！〃
　〃What？〃　said　Vimes。
　〃It's　the　troll！　The　one　they　have　on　the　door！〃
　They　advanced　with　extreme　caution。
　It　was；　indeed；　Detritus　the　splatter。
　It　is　very　difficult　to　hurt　a　creature　that　is；　to　all　intents　and　purposes；　a　mobile　stone。　Someone　seemed　to　have　managed　it；　though。　The　fallen　figure　was　groaning　like　a　couple　of　bricks　being　crushed　together。
　〃That's　a　turn　up　for　the　books；〃　said　the　sergeant　vaguely。　All　three　of　them　turned　and　peered　at　the　brightly…lit　rectangle　where　the　doorway　had　been。　Things　had　definitely　quietened　down　a　bit　in　there。
　〃You　don't　think；〃　said　the　sergeant；　〃that　he's　winning；　do　you？''
　The　captain　thrust　out　his　jaw。　'　'We　owe　it　to　our　colleague　and　fellow　officer；〃　he　said；　〃to　find　out。〃
　There　was　a　whimper　from　behind　them。　They　turned　and　saw　Nobby　hopping　on　one　leg　and　clutching　a　foot。
　〃What's　up　with　you；　man？〃　said　Vimes。
　Nobby　made　agonized　noises。
　Sergeant　Colon　began　to　understand。　Although　cautious　obsequiousness　was　the　general　tenor　of　Watch　behaviour；　there　wasn't　one　member　of　the　entire　squad　who　hadn't；　at　some　time；　been　at　the　wrong　end　of　Detritus's　fists。　Nobby　had　merely　tried　to　play　catch…up　in　the　very　best　traditions　of　policemen　everywhere。
　〃He　went　and　kicked　him　inna　rocks；　sir；〃　he　said。
　〃Disgraceful；〃　said　the　captain　vaguely。　He　hesitated。　〃Do　trolls　have　rocks？〃　he　said。
　〃Take　it　from　me；　sir。〃
　〃Good　grief；〃　Vimes　said。　〃Dame　Nature　moves　in　strange　ways；　doesn't　she。〃
　〃Right　you　are；　sir；〃　said　the　sergeant　obediently。
　〃And　now；〃　said　the　captain；　drawing　his　sword；　〃forward！〃
　〃Yessir。〃
　〃This　means　you　too；　Sergeant；〃　the　captain　added。
　〃Yessir。〃
　　
　。。。
　　
　It　was　possibly　the　most　circumspect　advance　in　the　history　of　military　maneuvers；　right　down　at　the　bottom　end　of　the　scale　that　things　like　the　Charge　of　the　Light　Brigade　are　at　the　top　of。
　They　peered　cautiously　around　the　ravished　doorway。
　There　were　a　number　of　people　sprawled　across　the　tables；　or　what　remained　of　the　tables。　Those　who　were　still　conscious　looked　unhappy　about　it。
　Carrot　stood　in　the　middle　of　the　floor。　His　rusty　chain　mail　was　torn；　his　helmet　was　missing；　he　was　swaying　a　little　from　side　to　side　and　one　eye　was　already　starting　to　swell；　but　he　recognized　the　captain；　dropped　the　feebly…protesting　customer　he　was　holding；　and　threw　a　salute。
　〃Beg　to　report　thirty…one　offences　of　Making　an　Affray；　sir；　and　fifty…six　cases　of　Riotous　Behaviour；　forty…one　offences　of　Obstructing　an　Officer　of　the　Watch　in　the　Execution　of　his　Duty；　thirteen　offences　of　Assault　with　a　Deadly　Weapon；　six　cases　of　Malicious　Lingering；　and…and…Corporal　Nobby　hasn't　even　shown　me　one　rope　yet。。。〃
　He　fell　backwards；　breaking　a　table。
　Captain　Vimes　coughed。　He　wasn't　at　all　sure　what　you　were　supposed　to　do　next。　As　far　as　he　knew；　the　Watch　had　never　been　in　this　position　before。
　'　'I　think　you　should　get　him　a　drink；　Sergeant；''　he　said。
　〃Yessir。〃
　〃And　get　me　one；　too。〃
　〃Yessir。〃
　〃H