tp.guards!guards!-第12部分

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　'　'I　think　you　should　get　him　a　drink；　Sergeant；''　he　said。
　〃Yessir。〃
　〃And　get　me　one；　too。〃
　〃Yessir。〃
　〃Have　one　yourself；　why　don't　you。〃
　〃Yessir。〃
　〃And　you；　Corporal；　will　you　please　…　what　are　you　doing？〃
　〃Searching…the…bodies…sir；〃　said　Nobby　quickly；　straightening　up。　〃For　incriminating　evidence；　and　that。〃
　〃In　their　money　pouches？''
　Nobby　thrust　his　hands　behind　his　back。　〃You　never　know；　sir；〃　he　said。
　The　sergeant　had　located　a　miraculously　unbroken　bottle　of　spirits　in　the　wreckage　and　forced　a　lot　of　its　contents　between　Carrot's　lips。
　〃What　we　going　to　do　with　all　this　lot；　Captain？〃　he　said　over　his　shoulder。
　〃I　haven't　the　faintest；〃　said　Vimes；　sitting　down。　The　Watch　jail　was　just　about　big　enough　for　six　very　small　people；　which　were　usually　the　only　sort　to　be　put　in　it。　Whereas　these。。。
　He　looked　around　him　desperately。　There　was　Nork　the　Impaler；　lying　under　a　table　and　making　bubbling　noises。　There　was　Big　Henri。　There　was　Grabber　Simmons；　one　of　the　most　feared　bar…room　fighters　in　the　city。　All　in　all；　there　were　a　lot　of　people　it　wouldn't　pay　to　be　near　when　they　woke　up。
　〃We　could　cut　their　throats；　sir；〃　said　Nobby；　veteran　of　a　score　of　residual　battlefields。　He　had　found　an　unconscious　fighter　who　was　about　the　right　size　and　was　speculatively　removing　his　boots；　which　looked　quite　new　and　about　the　right　size。
　〃That　would　be　entirely　wrong；〃　said　Vimes。　He　wasn't　sure　how　you　actually　went　about　cutting　a　throat。　It　had　never　hitherto　been　an　option。
　〃No；〃　he　said；　〃I　think　perhaps　we'll　let　them　off　with　a　caution。〃
　There　was　a　groan　from　under　the　bench。
　〃Besides；〃　he　went　on　quickly；　〃we　should　get　our　fallen　rade　to　a　place　of　safety　as　soon　as　possible。〃
　〃Good　point；〃　said　the　sergeant。　He　took　a　swig　of　the　spirits；　for　the　sake　of　his　nerves。
　The　two　of　them　managed　to　sling　Carrot　between　them　and　guide　his　wobbling　legs　up　the　steps。　Vimes；　collapsing　under　the　weight；　looked　around　for　Nobby。
　〃Corporal　Nobbs；〃　he　rasped；　〃why　are　you　kicking　people　when　they're　down？〃
　〃Safest　way；　sir；〃　said　Nobby。
　Nobby　had　long　ago　been　told　about　fighting　fair　and　not　striking　a　fallen　opponent；　and　had　then　given　some　creative　thought　to　how　these　rules　applied　to　someone　four　feet　tall　with　the　muscle　tone　of　an　elastic　band。
　〃Well；　stop　it。　I　want　you　to　caution　the　felons；〃　said　the　captain。
　〃How；　sir？〃
　〃Well；　you。。。〃　Captain　Vimes　stopped。　He　was　blowed　if　he　knew。　He'd　never　done　it。
　〃Just　do　it；〃　he　snapped。　〃Surely　I　don't　have　to　tell　you　everything？''
　Nobby　was　left　alone　at　the　top　of　the　stairs。　A　general　muttering　and　groaning　from　the　floor　indicated　that　people　were　waking　up。　Nobby　thought　quickly。　He　shook　an　admonitory　cheese…straw　of　a　finger。
　〃Let　that　be　a　lesson　to　you；〃　he　said。　〃Don't　do　it　again。''
　And　ran　for　it。
　Up　in　the　darkness　of　the　rafters　the　Librarian　scratched　himself　reflectively。　Life　was　certainly　full　of　surprises。　He　was　going　to　watch　developments　with　interest。　He　shelled　a　thoughtful　peanut　with　his　feet；　and　swung　away　into　the　darkness。
　　
　。。。
　　
　The　Supreme　Grand　Master　raised　his　hands。
　〃Are　the　Thuribles　of　Destiny　ritually　chastised；　that　Evil　and　Loose　Thinking　may　be　banished　from　this　Sanctified　Circle？〃
　〃Yep。〃
　The　Supreme　Grand　Master　lowered　his　hands。
　〃Yep？〃　he　said。
　〃Yep；〃　said　Brother　Dunnykin　happily。　〃Done　it　myself。〃
　〃You　are　supposed　to　say　'Yea；　O　Supreme　One'；〃　said　the　Supreme　Grand　Master。　〃Honestly；　I've　told　you　enough　times；　if　you're　not　all　going　to　enter　into　the　spirit　of　the　thing…〃
　〃Yes；　you　listen　to　what　the　Supreme　Grand　Master　tells　you；〃　said　Brother　Watchtower；　glaring　at　the　errant　Brother。
　〃I　spent　hours　chastising　them　thuribles；〃　muttered　Brother　Dunnykin。
　〃Carry　on；　O　Supreme　Grand　Master；〃　said　Brother　Watchtower。
　〃Very　well；　then；〃　said　the　Grand　Master。　〃Tonight　we'll　try　another　experimental　summoning。　I　trust　you　have　obtained　suitable　raw　material；　brothers？〃
　〃。。。scrubbed　and　scrubbed；　not　that　you　get　any　thanks。。。''
　〃All　sorted　out；　Supreme　Grand　Master；〃　said　Brother　Watchtower。
　It　was；　the　Grand　Master　conceded；　a　slightly　better　collection。　The　Brothers　had　certainly　been　busy。　Pride　of　place　was　given　to　an　illuminated　tavern　sign　whose　removal；　the　Grand　Master　thought；　should　have　merited　some　sort　of　civic　aware。　At　the　moment　the　E　was　a　ghastly　pink　and　flashed　on　and　off　at　random。
　〃I　got　that；〃　said　Brother　Watchtower　proudly。　〃They　thought　I　was　mending　it　or　something；　but　I　took　my　screwdriver　and　I。。〃
　〃Yes；　well　done；〃　said　the　Supreme　Grand　Master。　〃Shows　initiative。〃
　〃Thank　you；　Supreme　Grand　Master；〃　beamed　Brother　Watchtower。
　''。。。knuckles　rubbed　raw；　all　red　and　cracked。　Never　even　got　my　three　dollars　back；　either；　no　one　as　much　as　says。。。''
　〃And　now；〃　said　the　Supreme　Grand　Master；　taking　up　the　book；　〃we　will　begin　to　mence。　Shut　up；　Brother　Dunnykin。〃
　　
　。。。
　　
　Every　town　in　the　multiverse　has　a　part　that　is　something　like　Ankh…Morpork's　Shades。　It's　usually　the　oldest　part；　its　lanes　faithfully　following　the　original　tracks　of　medieval　cows　going　down　to　the　river；　and　they　have　names　like　the　Shambles；　the　Rookery；　Sniggs　Alley　。　。　。
　Most　of　Ankh…Morpork　is　like　that　in　any　case。　But　the　Shades　was　even　more　so；　a　sort　of　black　hole　of　bred…in…the…brickwork　lawlessness。　Put　it　like　this：　even　the　criminals　were　afraid　to　walk　the　streets。　The　Watch　didn't　set　foot　in　it。
　They　were　accidentally　setting　foot　in　it　now。　Not　very　reliably。　It　had　been　a　trying　night；　and　they　had　been　steadying　their　nerves。　They　were　now　so　steady　that　all　four　were　relying　on　the　other　three　to　keep　them　upright　and　steer。
　Captain　Vimes　passed　the　bottle　back　to　the　sergeant。
　〃Shame　on；　on；　on。。。；〃　he　thought　for　a　bit；　〃。。。you；〃　he　said。　〃Drun'　in　fron'　of　a　super；　super；　superererer　ofisiler。〃
　The　sergeant　tried　to　speak；　but　could　only　e　out　with　a　series　of　esses。
　〃Put　yoursel'　onna　charge；〃　said　Captain　Vimes；　rebounding　off　a　wall。　He　glared　at　the　brickwork。　〃This　wall　assaulted　me；〃　he　declared。　〃Hah！　Think　you're　tough；　eh！　Well；　'm　a　ofisler　of；　of；　of　the　Law；　I'll…have…you…know；　and　we　don'　take　any；　any；　any。〃
　He　blinked　slowly；　once　or　twice。
　〃What's　it　we　don'　take　any　of；　Sar'nt？〃　he　said。
　〃Chances；　sir？〃　said　Colon。
　〃No；　no；　no。　S'other　stuff。　Never　mind。　Anyway；　we　don'　take　any　of；　of；　of　it　from　anyone。〃　Vague　visions　were　trotting　through　his　mind；　of　a　room　full　of　criminal　types；　people　that　had　jeered　at　him；　people　whose　very　existence　had　offended　and　taunted　him　for　years；　lying　around　and　groaning。　He　was　a　little　unclear　how　it　had　happened；　but　some　almost　forgotten　part　of　him；　some　much　younger　Vimes　with　a　bright　shining　breastplate　and　big　hopes；　a　Vimes　he　thought　the　alcohol　had　long　ago　drowned；　was　suddenly　restless。
　〃Shallie；　shallie；　shallie　tell　you　something；　Sarn't？〃　he　said。
　〃Sir？''　The　four　of　them　bounced　gently　off　another　wall　and　began　another　slow　crabwise　waltz　across　the　alley。
　〃This　city。　This　city。　This　city；　Sar'nt。　This　city　is　a；　is　a；　is　a　Woman；　Sarn't。　So　t'is。　A　Woman；　Sarn't。　Ancient　raddled　old　beauty；　Sarn't。　Buti…you…fall…in…love…with…her；　then；　then；　then　she…kicks…you…inna…teeth…〃
　〃　's　woman？〃　said　Colon。
　He　screwed　up　his　sweating　face　with　the　effort　of　thought。
　〃　'S　eight　miles　wide；　sir。　　'S　gotta　river　in　it。　Lots　of；　of　houses　and　stuff；　sir；〃　he　reasoned。
　〃Ah。　Ah。　Ah。〃　Vimes　waggled　an　unsteady　finger　at　him。　〃Never；　never；　never　said　it　wasa　small　woman；　did　I。　Be　fair。〃　He　waved　the　bottle。　Another　random　thought　exploded　in　the　froth　of　his　mind。
　〃We　showed　'em；　anyway；〃　he　said　excitedly；　as　the　four　of　them　began　an　oblique　shuffle　back　to　the　opposite　wall。　〃Showed　them；　dint　we？　Taught　thema　forget　they　won't　lesson　inna　hurry；　eh？〃
　〃S'right；〃　said　the　sergeant；　but　not　very　enthusiastically。　He　was　still　wondering　about　his　superior　officer's　sex　life。
　But　Vimes　was　in　the　kind　of　mood　that　didn't　need　encouragement。
　〃Hah！〃　he　shouted；　at　the　dark　alleyways。　〃Don'　like　it；　eh？　Taste　of　your；　your；　your　own　medicine　thingy。　Well；　now　you　can　bootle　in　your　trems！〃　He　threw　the　empty　bottle　into　the　air。
　〃Two　o'clock！〃　he　yelled。　〃And　all's　weeeellll！〃
　Which　was　astonishing　news　to　the　various　shadowy　figures　who　had　been　silently　shadowing　the　four　of　them　for　some　time。　Only　sheer　puzzlement　had　prevented　them　making　their　attentions　sharp　and　plain。　These　people　are　clearly　guards；　they　were　thinking；　they've　got　the　right　helmets　and　everything；　and　yet　here　they　are　in　the　Shades。　So　they　were　being　watched　with　the　fascination　that　a　pack　of　wolves　might　focus　on　a　handful　of　sheep　who　had　not　only　trotted　into　the　clearing；　but　were　making　playful　butts　and　baa…ing　noises；　the　oute　was；　of　course；　going　to　be　mutton　but　in　the　meantime　inquisitiveness　gave　a　stay　of　execution。
　Carrot　raised　his　muzzy　head。
　〃Where're　we？〃　he　groaned。
　〃On　our　way　home；〃　said　the　sergeant。　He　looked　up　at　the　pitted；　worm…eaten　and　knife…scored　sign　above　them。　〃We're　jus'　goin'　down；　goin'　down；　goin'　down。。。〃　he　squinted〃。。。Sweetheart　Lane。〃
　〃Sweetheart　Lane　s'not　on　the　way　home；〃　slurred　Nobby。　〃We　wouldn't　wanta　go　down　Sweetheart　Lane；　it's　in　the　Shades。　Catch　us　goin'　down　Sweetheart　Lane…〃
　There　was　a　crowded　moment　in　which　realization　did　the　icy　work　of　a　good　night's　sleep　and　several　pints　of　black　coffee。　The　three　of　them；　by　unspoken　agreement；　clustered　up　towards　Carrot。
　〃What　we　gonna　do；　Captain？〃　said　Colon。
　〃Er。　We　could　call　for　help；〃　said　the　captain　uncertainly。
　〃What；　here？〃
　〃You've　got　a　point。〃
　〃I　reckon　we　must　of　turned　left　out　of　Silver　Street　instead　of　right；〃　quavered　Nobby。
　〃Well；　that's　one　mistake　we　won't　make　again　in　a　hurry；〃　said　the　captain。　Then　he　wished　he　hadn't。
　They　could　hear　footsteps。　Somewhere　off　to　their　left；　there　was　a　snigger。
　〃We　must　form　a　square；〃　said　the　captain。　They　all　tried　to　form　a　point。
　〃Hey！　What　was　that？〃　said　Sergeant　Colon。
　〃What？〃
　〃There　it　was　again。　Sort　of　a　leathery　sound。〃
　Captain　Vi