tp.guards!guards!-第16部分

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　The　Librarian's　upper　lip　rolled　back　like　a　blind。
　〃Is　that　a　smile？〃　said　Carrot。　The　Librarian　shook　his　head。
　〃Someone　hasn't　mitted　a　crime；　have　they？〃　said　Carrot。
　〃Oook。〃
　〃A　bad　crime？〃
　〃Oook！〃
　〃Like　murder？〃
　〃Eeek。〃
　〃Worse　than　murder？〃
　〃Eeek！〃　The　Librarian　knuckled　over　to　the　door　and　bounced　up　and　down　urgently。
　Carrot　gulped。　Orders　were　orders；　yes；　but　this　was　something　else。　The　people　in　this　city　were　capable　of　anything。
　He　buckled　on　his　breastplate；　screwed　his　sparkling　helmet　on　to　his　head；　and　strode　towards　the　door。
　Then　he　remembered　his　responsibilities。　He　went　back　to　the　desk；　found　a　scrap　of　paper；　and　painstakingly　wrote：　Out　Fighting　Crime；　Pleass　Call　Again　Later。　Thankyou。
　And　then　he　went　out　on　to　the　streets；　untarnished　and　unafraid。
　　
　。。。
　　
　The　Supreme　Grand　Master　raised　his　arms。　〃Brethren；〃　he　said；　〃let　us　begin　。。。〃　It　was　so　easy。　All　you　had　to　do　was　channel　that　great　septic　reservoir　of　jealousy　and　cringing　resentment　that　the　Brothers　had　in　such　abundance；　harness　their　dreadful　mundane　unpleasantness　which　had　a　force　greater　in　its　way　than　roaring　evil；　and　then　open　your　own　mind　。　。　。
　。　。　。　into　the　place　where　the　dragons　went。
　　
　。。。
　　
　Vimes　found　himself　grabbed　by　the　arm　and　pulled　inside。　The　heavy　door　shut　behind　him　with　a　definite　click。
　〃It's　Lord　Mountjoy　Gayscale　Talonthrust　III　of　Ankh；〃　said　the　apparition；　which　was　dressed　in　huge　and　fearsomely…padded　armour。　〃You　know；　I　really　don't　think　he　can　cut　the　mustard。〃
　〃He　can't？〃　said　Vimes；　backing　away。
　〃It　really　needs　two　of　you。〃
　〃It　does；　doesn't　it；〃　whispered　Vimes；　his　shoulder　blades　trying　to　carve　their　way　out　through　the　fence。
　〃Could　you　oblige？〃　boomed　the　thing。
　〃What？〃
　〃Oh；　don't　be　squeamish；　man。　You　just　have　to　help　him　up　into　the　air。　It's　me　who　has　the　tricky　part。　I　know　it's　cruel；　but　if　he　can't　manage　it　tonight　then　he's　for　the　choppy…chop。　Survival　of　the　fittest　and　all　that；　don't　you　know。〃
　Captain　Vimes　managed　to　get　a　grip　on　himself。　He　was　clearly　in　the　presence　of　some　sex…crazed　would…be　murderess；　insofar　as　any　gender　could　be　determined　under　the　strange　lumpy　garments。　If　it　wasn't　female；　then　references　to　〃it's　me　who　has　the　tricky　part〃　gave　rise　to　mental　images　that　would　haunt　him　for　some　time　to　e。　He　knew　the　rich　did　things　differently；　but　this　was　going　too　far。
　〃Madam；〃　he　said　coldly；　〃I　am　an　officer　of　the　Watch　and　I　must　warn　you　that　the　course　of　action　you　are　suggesting　breaks　the　laws　of　the　city；〃　and　also　of　several　of　the　more　strait…laced　gods；　he　added　silently；　〃and　I　must　advise　you　that　his　Lordship　should　be　released　unharmed　immediately。。。〃
　The　figure　stared　at　him　in　astonishment。
　〃Why？〃　it　said。　〃It's　my　bloody　dragon。〃
　　
　。。。
　　
　〃Have　another　drink；　not…Corporal　Nobby？〃　said　Sergeant　Colon　unsteadily。
　〃I　do　not　mind　if　I　do；　not…Sgt　Colon；〃　said　Nobby。
　They　were　taking　inconspicuosity　seriously。　That　ruled　out　most　of　the　taverns　on　the　Morpork　side　of　the　river；　where　they　were　very　well　known。　Now　they　were　in　a　rather　elegant　one　in　downtown　Ankh；　where　they　were　being　as　unobtrusive　as　they　knew　how。　The　other　drinkers　thought　they　were　some　kind　of　cabaret。
　〃I　was　thinking；〃　said　Sgt　Colon。
　〃What？〃
　〃If　we　bought　a　bottle　or　two；　we　could　go　home　and　then　we'd　be　really　inconspicuous。〃
　Nobby　gave　this　some　thought。
　〃But　he　said　we've　got　to　keep　our　ears　open；〃　he　said。　〃We're　supposed　to；　what　he　said；　detect　anything。〃
　〃We　can　do　that　at　my　house；〃　said　Sgt　Colon。　〃We　could　listen　all　night；　really　hard。〃
　〃Tha's　a　good　point；〃　said　Nobby。　In　fact；　it　sounded　better　and　better　the　more　he　thought　about　it。
　〃But　first；〃　he　announced；　〃I　got　to　pay　a　visit。〃
　〃Me　too；〃　said　the　sergeant。　〃This　detecting　business　gets　to　you　after　a　while；　doesn't　it。〃
　They　stumbled　out　into　the　alley　behind　the　tavern。　There　was　a　full　moon　up；　but　a　few　rags　of　scruffy　cloud　were　drifting　across　it。　The　pair　inconspicuously　bumped　into　one　another　in　the　darkness。
　〃Is　that　you；　Detector　Sergeant　Colon？〃　said　Nobby。
　〃Tha's　right！　Now；　can　you　detect　the　door　to　the　privy；　Detector　Corporal　Nobbs？　We're　looking　for　a　short；　dark　door　of　mean　appearance；　ahahaha。〃
　There　were　a　couple　of　clanks　and　a　muffled　swearword　from　Nobby　as　he　staggered　across　the　alley；　followed　by　a　yowl　when　one　of　Ankh…Morpork's　enormous　population　of　feral　cats　fled　between　his　legs。
　〃Who　loves　you；　pussycat？〃　said　Nobby　under　his　breath。
　〃Needs　must；　then；〃　said　Sgt　Colon；　and　faced　a　handy　corner。
　His　private　musings　were　interrupted　by　a　grunt　from　the　corporal。
　〃You　there；　Sgt？〃
　〃Detector　Sergeant　to　you；　Nobby；〃　said　Sgt　Colon　pleasantly。
　Nobby's　tone　was　urgent　and　suddenly　very　sober。　〃Don't　piss　about；　Sergeant；　I　just　saw　a　dragon　fly　over！〃
　〃I've　seen　a　horsefly；〃　said　Sgt　Colon；　hiccuping　gently。　〃And　I've　seen　a　housefly。　I've　even　seen　a　greenfly。　But　I　ain't　never　seen　a　dragon　fly。〃
　〃Of　course　you　have；　you　pillock；〃　said　Nobby　urgently。　〃Look；　I'm　not　messing　about！　He　had　wings　on　him　like；　like；　like　great　big　wings！〃
　Sergeant　Colon　turned　majestically。　The　corporal's　face　had　gone　so　white　that　it　showed　up　in　the　darkness。
　〃Honest；　Sergeant！〃
　Sgt　Colon　turned　his　eyes　to　the　damp　sky　and　the　rain…washed　moon。
　〃All　right；〃　he　said；　〃show　me。〃
　There　was　a　slithering　noise　behind　him；　and　a　couple　of　roof　tiles　smashed　on　to　the　street。
　He　turned。　And　there；　on　the　roof；　was　the　dragon。
　〃There's　a　dragon　on　the　roof！〃　he　warbled。　〃Nobby；　it's　a　dragon　on　the　roof！　What　shall　I　do；　Nobby？　There's　a　dragon　on　the　roof！　It's　looking　right　at　me；　Nobby！〃
　〃For　a　start；　you　could　do　your　trousers　up；〃　said　Nobby；　from　behind　the　nearest　wall。
　　
　。。。
　　
　Even　shorn　of　her　layers　of　protective　clothing；　Lady　Sybil　Ramkin　was　still　toweringly　big。　Vimes　knew　that　the　barbarian　hublander　folk　had　legends　about　great　chain…mailed；　armour…bra'd；　carthorse…riding　maidens　who　swooped　down　on　battlefields　and　carried　off　dead　warriors　on　their　cropper　to　a　glorious　roistering　afterlife；　while　singing　in　a　pleasing　mezzo…soprano。　Lady　Ramkin　could　have　been　one　of　them。　She　could　have　led　them。　She　could　have　carried　off　a　battalion。　When　she　spoke；　every　word　was　like　a　hearty　slap　on　the　back　and　clanged　with　the　aristocratic　self…assurance　of　the　totally　well…bred。　The　vowel　sounds　alone　would　have　cut　teak。
　Vimes's　ragged　forebears　were　used　to　voices　like　that；　usually　from　heavily…armoured　people　on　the　back　of　a　war　charger　telling　them　why　it　would　be　a　jolly　good　idea；　don't…cher…know；　to　charge　the　enemy　and　hit　them　for　six。　His　legs　wanted　to　stand　to　attention。
　Prehistoric　men　would　have　worshipped　her；　and　in　fact　had　amazingly　managed　to　carve　lifelike　statues　of　her　thousands　of　years　ago。　She　had　a　mass　of　chestnut　hair；　a　wig；　Vimes　learned　later。　No　one　who　had　much　to　do　with　dragons　kept　their　own　hair　for　long。
　She　also　had　a　dragon　on　her　shoulder。　It　had　been　introduced　as　Talonthrust　Vincent　Wonderkind　of　Quirm；　referred　to　as　Vinny；　and　seemed　to　be　making　a　large　contribution　to　the　unusual　chemical　smell　that　pervaded　the　house。　This　smell　permeated　everything。　Even　the　generous　slice　of　cake　she　offered　him　tasted　of　it。
　〃The；　er；　shoulder　。。。　it　looks　。　。　。　very　nice；〃　he　said；　desperate　to　make　conversation。
　〃Rubbish；〃　said　her　ladyship。　〃I'm　just　training　him　up　because　shoulder…sitters　fetch　twice　the　price。〃
　Vimes　murmured　that　he　had　occasionally　seen　society　ladies　with　small；　colourful　dragons　on　their　shoulders；　and　thought　it　looked　very；　er；　nice。
　〃Oh；　it　sounds　nice；〃　she　said。　〃I'll　grant　you。　Then　they　realize　it　means　soot…burns；　frizzled　hair　and　crap　all　down　their　back。　Those　talons　dig　in；　too。　And　then　they　think　the　thing's　getting　too　big　and　smelly　and　next　thing　you　know　it's　either　down　to　the　Morpork　Sunshine　Sanctuary　for　Lost　Dragons　or　the　old　heave…ho　into　the　river　with　a　rope　round　your　neck；　poor　little　buggers。〃　She　sat　down；　arranging　a　skirt　that　could　have　made　sails　for　a　small　fleet。　〃Now　then。　Captain　Vimes；　what　was　it？〃
　Vimes　was　at　a　loss。　Ramkins　long…dead　stared　down　at　him　from　ornate　frames　high　on　the　shadowy　walls。　Between；　around　and　under　the　portraits　were　the　weapons　they'd　presumably　used；　and　had　used　well　and　often　by　the　look　of　them。　Suits　of　armour　stood　in　dented　ranks　along　the　walls。　Quite　a　number；　he　couldn't　help　noticing；　had　large　holes　in　them。　The　ceiling　was　a　faded　riot　of　moth…eaten　banners。　You　did　not　need　forensic　examination　to　understand　that　Lady　Ramkin's　ancestors　had　never　shirked　a　fight。
　It　was　amazing　that　she　was　capable　of　doing　something　so　unwarlike　as　having　a　cup　of　tea。
　〃My　forebears；〃　she　said；　following　his　hypnotised　gaze。　〃You　know；　not　one　Ramkin　in　the　last　thousand　years　has　died　in　his　bed。〃
　〃Yes；　ma'am？〃
　〃Source　of　family　pride；　that。〃
　〃Yes；　ma'am。〃
　〃Quite　a　few　of　them　have　died　in　other　people's；　of　course。〃
　Captain　Vimes's　teacup　rattled　in　its　saucer。　〃Yes；　ma'am；〃　he　said。
　〃Captain　is　such　a　dashing　title；　I've　always　thought。〃　She　gave　him　a　bright；　brittle　smile。　〃I　mean；　colonels　and　so　on　are　always　so　stuffy；　majors　are　pompous；　but　one　always　feels　somehow　that　there　is　something　delightfully　dangerous　about　a　captain。　What　was　it　you　had　to　show　me？〃
　Vimes　gripped　his　parcel　like　a　chastity　belt。
　〃I　wondered；〃　he　faltered；　〃how　big　swamp　。　。　。　er　。　。　。〃　He　stopped。　Something　dreadful　was　happening　to　his　lower　regions。
　Lady　Ramkin　followed　his　gaze。　〃Oh；　take　no　notice　of　bun；〃　she　said　cheerfully。　〃Hit　him　with　a　cushion　if　he's　a　bother。〃
　A　small　elderly　dragon　had　crawled　out　from　under　his　chair　and　placed　its　jowly　muzzle　in　Vimes's　lap。　It　stared　up　at　him　soulfully　with　big　brown　eyes　and　gently　dribbled　something　quite　corrosive；　by　the　feel　of　it；　over　his　knees。　And　it　stank　like　the　ring　around　an　acid　bath。
　〃That's　Dewdrop　Mabelline　Talonthrust　the　First；〃　said　her　ladyship。　〃Champion　and　sire　of　champions。　No　fire　left　now；　poor　soppy　old　thing。　H