tp.guards!guards!-第3部分

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　〃I　bet　a　king'd　have　something　to　say　about　landlords；〃　said　Brother　Plasterer。
　〃And　he'd　outlaw　people　with　showy　coaches；〃　said　Brother　Watchtower。　〃Probably　bought　with　stolen　money；　too；　I　reckon。〃
　〃I　think；〃　said　the　Supreme　Grand　Master；　tweaking　things　a　little；　〃that　a　wise　king　would　only；　as　it　were；　outlaw　showy　coaches　for　the　undeserving。　〃
　There　was　a　thoughtful　pause　in　the　conversation　as　the　assembled　Brethren　mentally　divided　the　universe　into　the　deserving　and　the　undeserving；　and　put　themselves　on　the　appropriate　side。
　〃It'd　be　only　fair；〃　said　Brother　Watchtower　slowly。　〃But　Brother　Plasterer　was　right；　really。　I　can't　see　a　scion　manifesting　his　destiny　just　because　Brother　Doorkeeper　thinks　the　woman　in　the　vegetable　shop　keeps　giving　him　funny　looks。　No　offense。〃
　〃And　bloody　short　weight；〃　said　Brother　Doorkeeper。　〃And　she。。。〃
　〃Yes；　yes；　yes；〃　said　the　Supreme　Grand　Master。　〃Truly　the　right…thinking　folk　of　Ankh…Morpork　are　beneath　the　heel　of　the　oppressors。　However；　a　king　generally　reveals　himself　in　rather　more　dramatic　circumstances。　Like　a　war；　for　example。〃
　Things　were　going　well。　Surely；　for　all　their　self…centred　stupidity；　one　of　them　would　be　bright　enough　to　make　the　suggestion？
　〃There　used　to　be　some　old　prophecy　or　something；〃　said　Brother　Plasterer。　〃My　grandad　told　me。〃　His　eyes　glazed　with　the　effort　of　dramatic　recall。　〃　'Yea；　the　king　will　e　bringing　Law　and　Justice；　and　know　nothing　but　the　Truth；　and　Protect　and　Serve　the　People　with　his　Sword。'　You　don't　all　have　to　look　at　me　like　that；　I　didn't　make　it　up。〃
　〃Oh；　we　all　know　that　one。　And　a　fat　lot　of　good　that'd　be；〃　said　Brother　Watchtower。　〃I　mean；　what　does　he　do；　ride　in　with　Law　and　Truth　and　so　on　like　the　Four　Horsemen　of　the　Apocalypse？　Hallo　everyone；〃　he　squeaked；　〃I'm　the　king；　and　that's　Truth　over　there；　watering　his　horse。　Not　very　practical；　is　it？　Nah。　You　can't　trust　old　legends。〃
　〃Why　not？〃　said　Brother　Dunnykin；　in　a　peeved　voice。
　〃　'Cos　they're　legendary。　That's　how　you　can　tell；〃　said　Brother　Watchtower。
　〃Sleeping　princesses　is　a　good　one；〃　said　Brother　Plasterer。　〃Only　a　king　can　wake　'em　up。〃
　〃Don't　be　daft；〃　said　Brother　Watchtower　severely。　〃We　haven't　got　a　king；　so　we　can't　have　princesses。　Stands　to　reason。〃
　〃Of　course；　in　the　old　days　it　was　easy；〃　said　Brother　Doorkeeper　happily。
　〃Why？〃
　〃He　just　had　to　kill　a　dragon。〃
　The　Supreme　Grand　Master　clapped　his　hands　together　and　offered　a　silent　prayer　to　any　god　who　happened　to　be　listening。　He'd　been　right　about　these　people。　Sooner　or　later　their　rambling　little　minds　took　them　where　you　wanted　them　to　go。
　〃What　an　interesting　idea；〃　he　trilled。
　〃Wouldn't　work；〃　said　Brother　Watchtower　dourly。　〃There　ain't　no　big　dragons　now。〃
　〃There　could　be。〃
　The　Supreme　Grand　Master　cracked　his　knuckles。
　〃e　again？〃　said　Brother　Watchtower。
　〃I　said　there　could　be。〃
　There　was　a　nervous　laugh　from　the　depths　of　Brother　Watchtower's　cowl。
　〃What；　the　real　thing？　Great　big　scales　and　wings？〃
　〃Yes。〃
　〃Breath　like　a　blast　furnace。〃
　〃Yes。〃
　〃Them　big　claw　things　on　its　feet？〃
　〃Talons？　Oh；　yes。　As　many　as　you　want。〃
　〃What　do　you　mean；　as　many　as　I　want？〃
　〃I　would　hope　it's　self…explanatory；　Brother　Watch…tower。　If　you　want　dragons；　you　can　have　dragons。　You　can　bring　a　dragon　here。　Now。　Into　the　city。〃
　〃Me？〃
　〃All　of　you。　I　mean　us；〃　said　the　Supreme　Grand　Master。
　Brother　Watchtower　hesitated。　〃Well；　I　don't　know　if　that's　a　very　good…〃
　〃And　it　would　obey　your　every　mand。〃
　That　stopped　them。　That　pulled　them　up。　That　dropped　in　front　of　their　weasely　little　minds　like　a　lump　of　meat　in　a　dog　pound。
　〃Can　you　just　repeat　that？〃　said　Brother　Plasterer　slowly。
　〃You　can　control　it。　You　can　make　it　do　whatever　you　want。〃
　〃What？　A　real　dragon？〃
　The　Supreme　Grand　Master's　eyes　rolled　in　the　privacy　of　his　hood。
　〃Yes；　a　real　one。　Not　a　little　pet　swamp　dragon。　The　genuine　article。〃
　〃But　I　thought　they　were；　you　know　。　。　。　miffs。〃
　The　Supreme　Grand　master　leaned　forward。
　〃'They　were　myths　and　they　were　real；〃　he　said　loudly。　〃Both　a　wave　and　a　particle。〃
　〃You've　lost　me　there；〃　said　Brother　Plasterer。
　〃I　will　demonstrate；　then。　The　book　please；　Brother　Fingers。　Thank　you。　Brethren；　I　must　tell　you　that　when　I　was　undergoing　my　tuition　by　the　Secret　Masters。。。〃
　〃The　what；　Supreme　Grand　Master？〃　said　Brother　Plasterer。
　〃Why　don't　you　listen？　You　never　listen。　He　said　the　Secret　Masters！〃　said　Brother　Watchtower。　〃You　know；　the　venerable　sages　what　live　on　some　mountain　and　secretly　run　everything　and　taught　him　all　this　lore　and　that；　and　can　walk　on　fires　and　that。　He　told　us　last　week。　He's　going　to　teach　us；　aren't　you；　Supreme　Grand　Master；〃　he　finished　obsequiously。
　〃Oh；　the　Secret　Masters；〃　said　Brother　Plasterer。　〃Sorry。　It's　these　mystic　hoods。　Sorry。　Secret。　I　remember。〃
　But　when　I　rule　the　city；　the　Supreme　Grand　Master　said　to　himself；　there　is　going　to　be　none　of　this。　I　shall　form　a　new　secret　society　of　keen…minded　and　intelligent　men；　although　not　too　intelligent　of　course；　not　too　intelligent。　And　we　will　overthrow　the　cold　tyrant　and　we　will　usher　in　a　new　age　of　enlightenment　and　fraternity　and　humanism　and　Ankh…Morpork　will　bee　a　Utopia　and　people　like　Brother　Plasterer　will　be　roasted　over　slow　fires　if　I　have　any　say　in　the　matter；　which　I　will。　And　his　figgin。。。＇2＇
　〃When　I　was；　as　I　said；　undergoing　my　tuition　by　the　Secret　Masters。。。〃　he　continued。
　〃That　was　where　they　told　you　had　to　walk　on　rice…paper；　wasn't　it；〃　said　Brother　Watchtower　conversationally。　〃I　always　thought　that　was　a　good　bit。　I've　been　saving　it　off　the　bottom　of　my　macaroons　ever　since。　Amazing；　really。　I　can　walk　on　it　no　trouble。　Shows　what　being　in　a　proper　secret　society　does　for　you；　does　that。〃
　When　he　is　on　the　griddle；　the　Supreme　Grand　Master　thought；　Brother　Plasterer　will　not　be　lonely。
　〃Your　footfalls　on　the　road　of　enlightenment　are　an　example　to　us　all；　Brother　Watchtower；〃　he　said。　〃If　I　may　continue；　however　…　among　the　many　secrets。。。〃
　〃…　from　the　Heart　of　Being　…〃　said　Brother　Watch…tower　approvingly。
　〃。。。from　the　Heart；　as　Brother　Watchtower　says；　of　Being；　was　the　current　location　of　the　noble　dragons。　The　belief　that　they　died　out　is　quite　wrong。　They　simply　found　a　new　evolutionary　niche。　And　they　can　be　summoned　from　it。　This　book；〃　he　flourished　it；　〃gives　specific　instructions。〃
　〃It's　just　in　a　book？〃　said　Brother　Plasterer。
　〃No　ordinary　book。　This　is　the　only　copy。　It　has　taken　me　years　to　track　it　down；〃　said　the　Supreme　Grand　Master。　〃It's　in　the　handwriting　of　Tubal　de　Malachite；　a　great　student　of　dragon　lore。　His　actual　handwriting。　He　summoned　dragons　of　all　sizes。　And　so　can　you。〃
　There　was　another　long；　awkward　silence。
　〃Um；〃　said　Brother　Doorkeeper。
　〃Sounds　a　bit　like；　you　know　。　。　。　magic　to　me；〃　said　Brother　Watchtower；　in　the　nervous　tone　of　the　man　who　has　spotted　which　cup　the　pea　is　hidden　under　but　doesn't　like　to　say。　〃I　mean；　not　wishing　to　question　your　supreme　wisdomship　and　that；　but　。。。　well　。　。　。　you　know　。　。　。　magic　。　。　。〃
　His　voice　trailed　off。
　〃Yeah；〃　said　Brother　Plasterer　unfortably。
　〃It's；　er；　the　wizards；　see；〃　said　Brother　Fingers。　〃You　prob'ly　dint　know　this；　when　you　was　banged　up　with　them　venerable　herberts　on　their　mountain；　but　the　wizards　round　here　e　down　on　you　like　a　ton　of　bricks　if　they　catches　you　doin'　anything　like　that。〃
　〃Demarcation；　they　call　it；〃　said　Brother　Plasterer。
　〃Like；　I　don't　go　around　fiddling　with　the　mystic　interleaved　wossnames　of　causality；　and　they　don't　do　any　plastering。〃
　〃I　fail　to　see　the　problem；〃　said　the　Supreme　Grand　Master。　In　fact；　he　saw　it　all　too　clearly。　This　was　the　last　hurdle。　Help　their　tiny　little　minds　over　this；　and　he　held　the　world　in　the　palm　of　his　hand。　Their　stupefyingly　unintelligent　self…interest　hadn't　let　him　down　so　far；　surely　it　couldn't　fail　him　now　。　。　。
　The　Brethren　shuffled　uneasily。　Then　Brother　Dunnykin　spoke。
　〃Huh；　wizards。　What　do　they　know　about　a　day's　work？〃
　The　Supreme　Grand　master　breathed　deeply。　Ah　。　；　。
　The　air　of　mean…minded　resentfulness　thickened　noticeably。
　〃Nothing；　and　that's　a　fact；〃　said　Brother　Fingers。　〃Goin'　around　with　their　noses　in　the　air；　　too　good　for　the　likes　o'us。　I　used　to　see　'em　when　I　worked　up　the　University。　Backsides　a　mile　wide；　I'm　telling　you。　Catch　'em　doing　a　job　of　honest　toil？〃
　〃Like　thieving；　you　mean？〃　said　Brother　Watchtower；　who　had　never　liked　Brother　Fingers　much。
　〃O'course；　they　tell　you；〃　Brother　Fingers　went　on；　pointedly　ignoring　the　ment；　〃that　you　shouldn't　go　round　doin'　magic　on　account　of　only　them　knowin'　about　not　disturbin'　the　universal　harmony　and　whatnot。　Load　of　rubbish；　in　my　opinion。〃
　〃We…ell；〃　said　Brother　Plasterer；　〃I　dunno；　really。　I　mean；　you　get　the　mix　wrong；　you　just　got　a　lot　of　damp　plaster　round　your　ankles。　But　you　get　a　bit　of　magic　wrong；　and　they　say　ghastly　things　es　out　the　woodwork　and　snitches　you　right　up。〃
　〃Yeah；　but　it's　the　wizards　that　say　that；〃　said　Brother　Watchtower　thoughtfully。　〃Never　could　stand　them　myself；　to　tell　you　the　truth。　Could　be　they're　on　to　a　good　thing　and　don't　want　the　rest　of　us　to　find　out。　It's　only　waving　your　arms　and　chanting；　when　all's　said　and　done。〃
　The　Brethren　considered　this。　It　sounded　plausible。　If　they　were　on　to　a　good　thing；　they　certainly　wouldn't　want　anyone　else　muscling　in。
　The　Supreme　Grand　Master　decided　that　the　time　was　ripe。
　〃Then　we　are　agreed；　Brethren？　You　are　prepared　to　practice　magic？〃
　〃Oh；　practice；〃　said　Brother　Plaster；　relieved。　〃I　don't　mind　practicing。　So　long　as　we　don't　have　to　do　it　for　real。。。〃
　The　Supreme　Grand　Master　thumped　the　book。
　〃I　mean　carry　out　real　spells！　Put　the　city　back　on　the　right　lines！　Summon　a　dragon！〃　he　shouted。
　They　took　a　step　back。　Then　Brother　Doorkeeper　said；　〃And　then；　if　we　get　this　dragon；　the　rightful　king'll　turn　up；　just　like　that？〃
　〃Yes！〃　said　the　Supreme　Grand　Master。
　〃I　can　see　that；〃　said　Brother　Watchtower　supportively。
　〃Stands　to　reason。　Because　of　destiny　and　the　gnomic　workings　of　fate。〃
　There　was　a　moment's　hesitation；　and　then