tp.guards!guards!-第6部分

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　〃Well；　I　don't　know　about　any　Sec'y；　〃　said　the　guard。　〃You　want　Captain　Vimes　of　the　Night　Watch。　〃
　'　'And　where　is　he　based？''　said　Carrot；　politely。
　〃At　this　time　of　day　I'd　try　The　Bunch　of　Grapes　in　Easy　Street；　〃　said　the　guard。　He　looked　Carrot　up　and　down。　〃Joining　the　watch；　are　you？〃
　〃I　hope　to　prove　worthy；　yes；　〃　said　Carrot。
　The　guard　gave　him　what　could　loosely　be　called　an　old…fashioned　look。　It　was　practically　neolithic。
　〃What　was　it　you　done？〃　he　said。　
　〃I'm　sorry？〃　said　Carrot。　
　〃You　must　of　done　something；　〃　said　the　guard。　
　〃My　father　wrote　a　letter；　〃　said　Carrot　proudly。　〃I've　been　volunteered。　〃　
　〃Bloody　hellfire；　〃　said　the　guard。
　　
　。。。
　　
　Now　it　was　night　again；　and　beyond　the　dread　portal：
　〃Are　the　Wheels　of　Torment　duly　spun？〃　said　the　Supreme　Grand　Master。
　The　Elucidated　Brethren　shuffled　around　their　circle。
　〃Brother　Watchtower？〃　said　the　Supreme　Grand　Master。
　〃Not　my　job　to　spin　the　Wheels　of　Torment；　〃　muttered　Brother　Watchtower。　〃　's　Brother　Plasterer's　job；　spinning　the　Wheels　of　Torment。。。〃
　〃No　it　bloody　well　isn't；　it's　my　job　to　oil　the　Axles　of　the　Universal　Lemon；　〃　said　Brother　Plasterer　hotly。　〃You　always　say　it's　my　job。。。〃
　The　Supreme　Grand　Master　sighed　in　the　depths　of　his　cowl　as　yet　another　row　began。　From　this　dross　he　was　going　to　forge　an　Age　of　Rationality？
　〃Just　shut　up；　will　you？〃　he　snapped。　〃We　don't　really　need　the　Wheels　of　Torment　tonight。　Stop　it；　the　pair　of　you。　Now；　Brethren　…　you　have　all　brought　the　items　as　instructed？〃
　There　was　a　general　murmuring。
　〃Place　them　in　the　Circle　of　Conjuration；　〃　said　the　Supreme　Grand　Master。
　It　was　a　sorry　collection。　Bring　magical　things；　he'd　said。　Only　Brother　Fingers　had　produced　anything　worthwhile。　It　looked　like　some　sort　of　altar　ornament；　best　not　to　ask　from　where。　The　Supreme　Grand　Master　stepped　forward　and　prodded　one　of　the　other　things　with　his　toe。
　〃What；　〃　he　said；　〃is　this？〃
　〃　'S　'n　amulet；　〃　muttered　Brother　Dunnykin；　〃　's　very　powerful。　Bought　it　off　a　man。　Guaranteed。　Protects　you　against　crocodile　bites。　〃
　〃Are　you　sure　you　can　spare　it？〃　said　the　Supreme　Grand　Master。　There　was　a　dutiful　titter　from　the　rest　of　the　Brethren。
　〃Less　of　that；　brothers；　〃　said　the　Grand　Master；　spinning　around。　〃Bring　magical　things；　I　said。　Not　cheap　jewellery　and　rubbish！　Good　grief；　this　city　is　lousy　with　magic！〃　He　reached　down。　〃What　are　these　things；　for　heaven's　sake？〃
　〃They're　stones；　〃　said　Brother　Plasterer　uncertainly。
　〃I　can　see　that。　Why　're　they　magical？〃
　Brother　Plasterer　began　to　tremble。　〃They've　got　holes　in　them；　Supreme　Grand　Master。　Everyone　knows　that　stones　with　holes　in　them　are　magical。　〃
　The　Supreme　Grand　Master　walked　back　to　his　place　on　the　circle。　He　threw　his　arms　up。
　〃Right；　fine；　okay；　〃　he　said　wearily。　〃If　that's　how　we're　going　to　do　it；　that's　how　we're　going　to　do　it。　If　we　get　a　dragon　six　inches　long　we'll　all　know　the　reason　why。　Won't　we；　Brother　Plasterer。　Brother　Plasterer？　Sorry。　I　didn't　hear　what　you　said？　Brother　Plasterer？〃
　〃I　said　yes；　Supreme　Grand　Master；　〃　whispered　Brother　Plasterer。
　〃Very　well。　So　long　as　that's　quite　understood。　〃　The　Supreme　Grand　Master　turned　and　picked　up　the　book。
　〃And　now；　〃　he　said；　〃if　we　are　all　quite　ready。。。　〃
　〃Um。　〃　Brother　Watchtower　meekly　raised　his　hand。
　〃Ready　for　what；　Supreme　Grand　Master？〃　he　said。
　〃For　the　summoning；　of　course。　Good　grief；　I　should　have　thought…〃
　〃But　you　haven't　told　us　what　we're　supposed　to　do；　Supreme　Grand　Master；　〃　whined　Brother　Watch…tower。
　The　Grand　Master　hesitated。　This　was　quite　true；　but　he　wasn't　going　to　admit　it。
　〃Well；　of　course；　〃　he　said。　〃It's　obvious。　You　have　to　focus　your　concentration。　Think　hard　about　dragons；　〃　he　translated。　〃All　of　you。　〃
　〃That's　all；　is　it？〃　said　Brother　Doorkeeper。
　〃Yes。　〃
　〃Don't　we　have　to　chant　a　mystic　prune　or　something？〃
　The　Supreme　Grand　Master　stared　at　him。　Brother　Doorkeeper　managed　to　look　as　defiant　in　the　face　of　oppression　as　an　anonymous　shadow　in　a　black　cowl　could　look。　He　hadn't　joined　a　secret　society　not　to　chant　mystic　runes。　He'd　been　looking　forward　to　it。
　〃You　can　if　you　like；　〃　said　the　Supreme　Grand　Master。　〃Now；　I　want　you　…　yes；　what　is　it；　Brother　Dunnykin？〃
　The　little　Brother　lowered　his　hand。　〃Don't　know　any　mystic　prunes；　Grand　Master。　Not　to　what　you　might　call　chant。。。　〃
　〃Hm！〃
　He　opened　the　book。
　He'd　been　rather　surprised　to　find；　after　pages　and　pages　of　pious　ramblings；　that　the　actual　Summoning　itself　was　one　short　sentence。　Not　a　chant；　not　a　brief　piece　of　poetry；　but　a　mere　assemblage　of　meaningless　syllables。　De　Malachite　said　they　caused　interference　patterns　in　the　waves　of　reality；　but　the　daft　old　fool　was　probably　making　it　up　as　he　went　along。　That　was　the　trouble　with　wizards；　they　had　to　make　everything　look　difficult。　All　you　really　needed　was　willpower。　And　the　Brethren　had　a　lot　of　that。　Small…minded　and　vitriolic　willpower；　yes；　lousy　with　malignity　maybe；　but　still　powerful　enough　in　its　way。。。
　They'd　try　nothing　fancy　this　time　round。　Somewhere　inconspicuous。。。
　Around　him　the　Brethren　were　chanting　what　each　man　considered；　according　to　his　lights；　to　be　something　mystical。　The　general　effect　was　actually　quite　good；　if　you　didn't　listen　to　the　words。
　The　words。　Oh；　yes。。。
　He　looked　down；　and　spoke　them　aloud。
　Nothing　happened。
　He　blinked。
　When　he　opened　his　eyes　again　he　was　in　a　dark　alley；　his　stomach　was　full　of　fire；　and　he　was　very　angry。
　　
　。。。
　　
　It　was　about　to　be　the　worst　night　of　his　life　for　Zebbo　Mooty；　Thief　Third　Class；　and　it　wouldn't　have　made　him　any　happier　to　know　that　it　was　also　going　to　be　the　last　one。　The　rain　was　keeping　people　indoors；　and　he　was　way　behind　on　his　quota。　He　was；　therefore；　a　little　less　cautious　than　he　might　otherwise　have　been。
　In　the　night　time　streets　of　Ankh…Morpork　caution　is　an　absolute。　There　is　no　such　thing　as　moderately　cautious。　You　are　either　very　cautious；　or　you　are　dead。　You　might　be　walking　around　and　breathing；　but　you're　dead；　just　the　same。
　He　heard　the　muffled　sounds　ing　from　the　nearby　alley；　slid　his　leather…bound　cosh　from　his　sleeve；　waited　until　the　victim　was　almost　turning　the　corner；　sprang　out；　said　〃Oh；　shi。。。；〃　and　died。
　It　was　a　most　unusual　death。　No…one　else　had　died　like　that　for　hundreds　of　years。
　The　stone　wall　behind　him　glowed　cherry　red　with　heat；　which　gradually　faded　into　darkness。
　He　was　the　first　to　see　the　Ankh…Morpork　dragon。　He　derived　little　fort　from　knowing　this；　however；　because　he　was　dead。
　〃。。。t；　〃　he　said；　and　his　disembodied　self　looked　down　at　the　small　heap　of　charcoal　which；　he　knew　with　an　unfamiliar　sort　of　certainty；　was　what　he　had　just　been　disembodied　from。　It　was　a　strange　sensation；　seeing　your　own　mortal　remains。　He　didn't　find　it　as　horrifying　as　he　would　have　imagined　if　you'd　asked　him；　say；　ten　minutes　ago。　Finding　that　you　are　dead　is　mitigated　by　also　finding　that　there　really　is　a　you　who　can　find　you　dead。
　The　alley　opposite　was　empty　again。
　〃That　was　really　strange；　〃　said　Mooty。　
　〃Extremely　unusual；　certainly。〃
　〃Did　you　see　that？　What　was　it？〃　Mooty　looked　up　at　the　dark　figure　emerging　from　the　shadows。　〃Who're　you；　anyway？〃　he　added　suspiciously。
　〃Guess；　〃　said　the　voice。
　Mooty　peered　at　the　hooded　figure。
　〃Cor！〃　he　said。　〃I　thought　you　dint　turn　up　for　the　likes　o'　me。　〃
　I　TURN　UP　FOR　EVERYONE。
　〃I　mean　in。。。　person；　sort　of　thing。　〃
　〃Sometimes。　On　special　occasions。〃
　〃Yeah；　well；　〃　said　Mooty；　〃this　is　one　of　them；　all　right！　I　mean；　it　looked　like　a　bloody　dragon！　What's　a　man　to　do？　You　don't　expect　to　find　a　dragon　around　the　corner！〃
　〃And　now；　if　you　would　care　to　step　this　way　。。〃。　said　Death；　laying　a　skeletal　hand　on　Mooty's　shoulder。
　〃Do　you　know；　a　fortune　teller　once　told　me　I'd　die　in　my　bed；　surrounded　by　grieving　greatgrandchildren；　〃　said　Mooty；　following　the　stately　figure。　〃What　do　you　think　of　that；　eh？〃
　I　THINK　SHE　WAS　WRONG。
　〃A　bloody　dragon；　〃　said　Mooty。　〃Fire　breathing；　too。　Did　I　suffer　much？〃
　NO。　IT　WAS　PRACTICALLY　INSTANTANEOUS。
　〃That's　good。　I　wouldn't　like　to　think　I'd　suffered　much。　〃　Mooty　looked　around　him。　〃What　happens　now？〃　he　said。
　Behind　them；　the　rain　washed　the　little　heap　of　black　ash　into　the　mud。
　　
　。。。
　　
　The　Supreme　Grand　Master　opened　his　eyes。　He　was　lying　on　his　back。　Brother　Dunnykin　was　preparing　to　give　him　the　kiss　of　life。　The　mere　thought　was　enough　to　jerk　anyone　from　the　borders　of　consciousness。
　He　sat　up；　trying　to　shed　the　feeling　that　he　weighed　several　tons　and　was　covered　in　scales。
　〃We　did　it；　〃　he　whispered。　〃The　dragon！　It　came！　I　felt　it！〃
　The　Brethren　glanced　at　one　another。
　〃We　never　saw　nothing；　〃　said　Brother　Plasterer。
　〃I　might　of　seen　something；　〃　said　Brother　Watchtower　loyally。
　〃No；　not　here；　〃　snapped　the　Supreme　Grand　Master。　〃You　hardly　want　it　to　materialise　here；　do　you？　It　was　out　there；　in　the　city。　Just　for　a　few　seconds。。。　〃
　He　pointed。　〃Look！〃
　The　Brethren　turned　around　guiltily；　expecting　at　any　moment　the　hot　flame　of　retribution。
　In　the　centre　of　the　circle　the　magic　items　were　gently　crumbling　to　dust。　Even　as　they　watched；　Brother　Dunnykin's　amulet　collapsed。
　〃Sucked　dry；　〃　whispered　Brother　Fingers。　〃I'll　be　damned！〃
　〃Three　dollars　that　amulet　cost　me；　〃　muttered　Brother　Dunnykin。
　〃But　it　proves　it　works；　〃　said　the　Supreme　Grand　Master。　〃Don't　you　see；　you　fools？　It　works！　We　can　summon　dragons！〃
　〃Could　be　a　bit　expensive　in　magical　items；　〃　said　Brother　Fingers　doubtfully。
　〃。。。three　dollars；　it　was。　No　rubbish。。。〃
　〃Power；　〃　growled　the　Supreme　Grand　Master；　〃does　not　e　cheap。　〃
　〃Very　true；　〃　nodded　Brother　Watchtower。　〃Not　cheap。　Very　true。　〃　He　looked　at　the　little　heap　of　exhausted　magic　again。　〃Cor；　〃　he　said。　〃We　did　it　though；　dint　we！　We　only　went　and　bloody　well　did　some　magic；　right？〃
　〃See？〃　said　Brother　Fingers。　〃I　tole　you　there　was　nothin'　to　it。　〃
　〃You　all　did　exceptionally　well；　〃　said　the　Supreme　Grand　Master　encouragingly。
　〃。。。should've　been　six　dollars；　but　he　said　he'd　cut　his　own　throat　and