alistairmaclean.nightwithoutend-第19部分

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d；〃　she　repeated　unsteadily。
　
　〃Crazy　as　a　loon；〃　I　agreed。　Again　I　caught　her　arm；　pulled　her　out　on　to　the　flight　deck　and　trained　my　flashlight　on　the　captain's　back。　〃You　wouldn't；　of　course；　know　anything　about　this　either。〃　I　leaned　forward；　jerked　up　the　jacket　to　expose　the　bullet　hole　in　the　back；　then　stumbled　and　all　but　fell　as　she　gave　a　long　sigh　and　crumpled　against　me。　Instinctively　I　caught　her；　lowered　her　to　the　floor；　cursed　myself　for　having　fallen　for　the　fainting　routine　even　for　a　second；　and　ruthlessly　stabbed　a　stiff　couple　of　fingers　into　the　solar　plexus；　just　below　the　breastbone。
　
　There　was　no　reaction；　just　no　reaction　at　all。　The　faint　had　been　as　genuine　as　ever　a　faint　can　be　and　she　was　pletely　unconscious。
　
　The　next　few　minutes；　while　I　sat　beside　her　on　the　front　seat　of　the　plane　waiting　for　her　to　recover　consciousness；　were　some　of　the　worst　I　have　ever　gone　through。　Self…reproach　is　a　hopeless　word　to　describe　the　way　I　swore　at　myself　for　my　folly；　my　utter　stupidity　and　unforgivable　blindness；　above　all　for　the　brutality；　the　calculated　cruelty　with　which　I'd　treated　this　poor；　crumpled　young　girl　by　my　side。　Especially　the　cruelty　in　the　past　few　minutes。　Perhaps　there　had　been　excuse　enough　for　my　earlier　suspicions；　but　there　was　none　for　my　latest　actions：　if　I　hadn't　been　so　consumed　by　anger；　so　utterly　sure　of　myself　so　that　the　possibility　of　doubt　never　had　a　chance　to　enter　my　mind；　if　my　mind　hadn't　been　concentrated；　to　the　exclusion　of　all　else；　on　the　exposure　of　her　guilt；　I　should　have　known　at　least　that　it　couldn't　have　been　she　who　had　jumped　down　from　the　control　cabin　half　an　hour　ago　when　I　had　rushed　up　the　aisle；　for　the　simple　but　sufficient　reason　that　she　had　been　incapable　of　getting　up　there　in　the　first　place。　Quite　apart　from　her　injury；　I　should　have　been　doctor　enough　to　know　that　the　arms　and　shoulders　I　had　seen　while　attending　to　her　back　that　evening　weren't　built　for　the　acrobatic　performance　necessary　to　swing　oneself　up　and　through　the　smashed　windscreen。　That　had　been　no　act　she　had　put　on　when　she　had　fallen　back　into　the　snow；　I　could　see　that　clearly　now；　but　I　should　have　seen　it　then。
　
　I　still　hadn't　got　beyond　the　stage　of　calling　myself　by　every　name　I　could　think　of　when　she　stirred；　sighed　and　straightened　in　the　crook　of　the　arm　with　which　I　was　supporting　her。　Her　eyes　opened　slowly；　focused　themselves　on　me；　and　I　could　feel　the　pressure　on　my　forearm　as　she　shrank　away。
　
　〃It's　all　right；　Miss　Ross；〃　I　urged　her。　〃Please　don't　be　afraid。　I'm　not　mad…really　I'm　not…just　the　biggest　blundering　half…witted　idiot　you're　ever　likely　to　meet　in　all　the　rest　of　your　days。　I'm　sorry；　I'm　most　terribly　sorry　for　all　I've　said；　for　all　I've　done。　Do　you　think　you　can　ever　forgive　me？〃
　
　I　don't　think　she　heard　a　word　I　said。　Maybe　the　tone　of　my　voice　gave　her　some　reassurance；　but　it　was　impossible　to　tell。　She　shuddered；　violently；　and　twisted　her　head　to　look　in　the　direction　of　the　flight　deck。
　
　〃Murder！〃　The　word　was　so　low　that　I　could　hardly　catch　it。　Suddenly　her　voice　became　high…pitched；　unsteady。　〃He's　been　murdered！　Who…who　killed　him？〃
　
　〃Now　take　it　easy；　Miss　Ross。〃　My　heavens；　I　thought；　of　all　the　fatuous　advice。　〃I　don't　know。　All　I　know　is　that　you　had　nothing　to　do　with　it。〃
　
　〃No。〃　She　shook　her　head　tiredly。　〃I　don't　believe　it。　I　can't　believe　it。　Captain　Johnson。　Why　should　anyone…he　hadn't　an　enemy　in　the　world；　Dr　Mason！〃
　
　〃Maybe　Colonel　Harrison　hadn't　an　enemy　either。〃　I　nodded　towards　the　rear　of　the　plane。　〃But　they　got　him　too。〃
　
　She　stared　down　the　plane；　her　eyes　wide　with　horror；　her　lips　moving　as　if　to　speak；　but　no　sound　came。
　
　〃They　got　him　too；'I　repeated。　〃Just　as　they　got　the　captain。　Just　as　they　got　the　second　officer…and　the　flight　engineer。〃
　
　〃They？〃　she　whispered。　〃They？〃
　
　〃Whoever　it　was。　I　only　know　it　wasn't　you。〃
　
　〃No；〃　she　whispered。　Again　she　shuddered；　even　more　uncontrollably　than　before；　and　I　tightened　my　arm　round　her。　〃I'm　frightened；　Dr　Mason。　I'm　frightened。〃
　
　〃There's　nothing…〃　I'd　started　off　to　say　there　was　nothing　to　be　frightened　of；　before　I　realised　the　idiocy　of　the　words。　With　a　ruthless　and　unknown　murderer　among　us；　there　was　everything　in　the　world　to　be　frightened　of。　I　was　scared　myself：　but　admitting　that　to　this　youngster　wasn't　likely　to　help　her　morale　any。　So　I　started　talking；　telling　her　of　all　the　things　we　had　found　out；　of　the　suspicions　we　had　and　of　what　had　happened　to　me；　and　when　I　finished　she　looked　at　me　and　said：　〃But　why　was　I　taken　into　the　wireless　cabin？　I　must　have　been；　mustn't　I？〃
　
　〃You　must　have　been；〃　I　agreed。　〃Why？　Probably　so　that　someone　could　turn　a　gun　on　you　and　threaten　to　kill　you　if　the　second　officer…Jimmy　Waterman；　you　called　him；　wasn't　it　…didn't　play　ball。　Why　else？〃
　
　〃Why　else？〃　she　echoed。　She　gazed　at　me；　the　wide　brown　eyes　never　leaving　mine；　and　then　I　could　see　the　slow　fear　touching　them　again　and　she　whispered：　〃And　who　else？〃
　
　〃How　do　you　mean　'Who　else'？〃
　
　〃Can't　you　see？　If　someone　had　a　gun　on　Jimmy　Waterman；　someone　else　must　have　had　one　on　the　pilots。　You　can　see　yourself　that　no　one　could　cover　both　places　at　the　same　time。　But　Captain　Johnson　must　have　been　doing　exactly　as　he　was　told；　just　as　Jimmy　was。〃
　
　It　was　so　glaringly　obvious　that　a　child　could　have　seen　it：　it　was　so　glaringly　obvious　that　I'd　missed　it　altogether。　Of　course　there　must　have　been　two　of　them；　how　else　would　it　have　been　possible　to　force　the　entire　crew　to　do　as　they　were　ordered？　Good　heavens；　this　was　twice　as　bad；　ten　times　as　bad　as　it　had　been　previously。　Nine　men　and　women　back　there　in　the　cabin；　and　two　of　them　killers；　ruthless　merciless　killers　who　would　surely　kill　again；　at　the　drop　of　a　hat；　as　the　needs　of　the　moment　demanded。　And　I　couldn't　even　begin　to　guess　the　identity　of　either　of　them。
　
　〃You're　right；　of　course；　Miss　Ross；〃　I　forced　myself　to　speak　calmly；　matter…of…factly。　〃It　was　blind　of　me；　I　should　have　known。〃　I　remembered　how　the　bullet　had　passed　clear　through　the　man　in　the　back　seat。　〃I　did　know；　but　I　couldn't　add　one　and　one。　Colonel　Harrison　and　Captain　Johnson　were　killed　by　different　guns…the　one　by　a　heavy　carrying　weapon；　like　a　Colt　or　a　Luger；　the　other　by　a　less　powerful；　a　lighter　weapon；　like　something　a　woman　might　have　used。〃
　
　I　broke　off　abruptly。　A　woman's　gun！　Why　not　a　woman　using　it？　Why　not　even　this　girl　by　my　side？　It　could　have　been　her　acplice　that　had　followed　me　out　to　the　plane　earlier　in　the　evening；　and　it　would　fit　in　beautifully　with　the　facts。　。　。　。　No；　it　wouldn't；　faints　couldn't　be　faked。　But　perhaps…　〃A　woman's　gun？〃　I　might　have　spoken　my　thoughts　aloud；　so　perfectly　had　she　understood。　〃Perhaps　even　me…or　should　I　say　perhaps　still　me？〃　Her　voice　was　unnaturally　calm。　〃Goodness　only　knows　I　can't　blame　you。　If　I　were　you；　I'd　suspect　everyone　too。〃
　
　She　pulled　the　glove　and　mitten　off　her　left　hand；　took　the　gleaming　ring　off　her　third　finger　and　passed　it　across　to　me。　I　examined　it　blankly　in　the　light　of　my　torch；　then　bent　forward　as　I　caught　sight　of　the　tiny　inscription　on　the　inside　of　the　gold　band：　〃J。　W。…M。　R。　Sept。　28；1958'。　I　looked　up　at　her　and　she　nodded；　her　face　numb　and　stricken。
　
　〃Jimmy　and　I　got　engaged　two　months　ago。　This　was　my　last　flight　as　a　stewardess…we　were　being　married　at　Christmas。〃　She　snatched　the　ring　from　me；　thrust　it　back　on　her　finger　with　a　shaking　hand　and　when　she　turned　to　me　again　the　tears　were　brimming　over　in　her　eyes。　〃Now　do　you　trust　me？〃　she　sobbed。　〃Now　do　you　trust　me？〃
　
　For　the　first　time　in　almost　twenty…four　hours　I　acted　sensibly　…1　closed　my　mouth　tightly　and　kept　it　that　way。　I　didn't　even　bother　reviewing　her　strange　behaviour　after　the　crash　and　in　the　cabin；　I　knew　instinctively　that　this　accounted　for　everything：　I　just　sat　there　silently　watching　her　staring　straight　ahead；　her　fists　clenched　and　tears　rolling　down　her　cheeks；　and　when　she　suddenly　crumpled　and　buried　her　face　in　her　hands　and　I　reached　out　and　pulled　her　towards　me　she　made　no　resistance；　just　turned；　crushed　her　face　into　the　caribou　fur　of　my　parka　and　cried　as　if　her　heart　was　breaking：　and　I　suppose　it　was。
　
　I　suppose；　too；　that　the　moment　when　a　man　hears　that　a　girl's　fiance*　has　died　only　that　day　is　the　last　moment　that　that　man　should　ever　begin　to　fall　in　love　with　her；　but　I'm　afraid　that's　just　how　it　was。　The　emotions　are　no　respecters　of　the　niceties；　the　proprieties　and　decencies　of　this　life；　and；　just　then；　I　was　clearly　aware　that　mine　were　stirred　as　they　hadn't　been　since　that　dreadful　day；　four　years　ago；　when　my　wife；　a　bride　of　only　three　months；　had　been　killed　in　a　car　smash　and　I　had　given　up　medicine；　returned　to　my　first　great　love；　geology；　pleted　the　B。Sc。　course　that　had　been　interrupted　by　the　outbreak　of　World　War　Two　and　taken　to　wandering　wherever　work；　new　surroundings　and　an　opportunity　to　forget　the　past　had　presented　themselves。　Why；　when　I　gazed　down　at　that　small　dark　head　pressed　so　deeply　into　the　fur　of　my　coat；　I　should　have　felt　my　heart　turn　over　I　didn't　know。　For　all　her　wonderful　brown　eyes　she　had　no　pretensions　to　beauty　and　I　knew　nothing　whatsoever　about　her。　Perhaps　it　was　just　a　natural　reaction　from　my　earlier　antipathy：　perhaps　it　was　pity　for　her　loss；　for　what　I　had　so　cruelly　done　to　her；　for　having　so　exposed　her　to　danger…whoever　knew　that　I　knew　too　much　would　soon　know　that　she　knew　it　also：　or　perhaps　it　was　just　because　she　was　so　defenceless　and　vulnerable；　so　ridiculously　small　and　lost　in　Joss's　big　parka。　And　then　I　caught　myself　trying　to　work　out　the　reasons　and　I　gave　it　up：　I　hadn't　been　married　long；　but　long　enough　to　know　that　the　heart　has　its　own　reasons　which　even　the　acutest　mind　couldn't　begin　to　suspect。
　
　By　and　by　the　sobbing　subsided　and　she　straightened；　hiding　from　me　what　must　have　been　a　very　badly　tear…stained　face。
　
　〃I'm　sorry；〃　she　murmured。　〃And　thank　you　very　much。〃
　
　〃My　crying　shoulder。〃　I　patted　it　with　my　right　hand。　〃For　my　friends。　The　other　one's　for　my　patients。〃
　
　〃For　tha